23 December 2016 Smutty Shout-Outs


Happy Birthday from Kelly who requested for you the GIF below and an unrelated “teeny tiny birthday blind”. You see her from time to time with a “new boyfriend” but it never sticks. It never sticks because she’s actually had a girlfriend for 2 years and everything else is just a cover. They’re saying she’s getting more and more adamant about coming out though. It’s just a matter of doing it at the right time, you know, maximum coverage, maximum career boost.

December 23, 2016 at 9:58 AM


"Warning signs" reveal 4


Katy & Orlando over?

IN TOUCH Weekly reported exclusively yesterday that Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom are done. I don’t love IN TOUCH as a source but what’s interesting is that it’s been a full 24 hours and, so far, none of the legitimate celebrity outlets, like E! News or PEOPLE or US Weekly or Entertainment Tonight or Access Hollywood have come out to kill or corroborate the story. Which means they’re all trying to find out from their sources whether or not it’s true.

Here’s Orly in Malibu yesterday. He and Katy haven’t been seen together since Halloween, so about three weeks ago. Since then, well, a lot has changed. As in an election. Katy was one of Hillary Clinton’s most vocal supporters. She took it hard. And everything on her social media after November 8 has been about taking action, staying focused, and continuing to advocate for the issues that matter to her, most importantly women’s reproductive health.

So, if Katy and Orly have indeed broken up, it would have happened some time after Halloween, and in and around the time of the election. Did political upheaval result in personal upheaval? According to IN TOUCH, Katy wanted to get more serious, and Orlando wasn’t ready for it. Other sources told the magazine that "they were on different life paths and as much as she likes him, it's time to move on”.

If the split is true, I’m more inclined to believe it was the “different life paths”. Orly really, really enjoys a certain lifestyle. Wouldn’t surprise me if she was over it.

November 23, 2016 at 2:31 PM

Warning signs


Britney is really feeling herself in her new video (The Superficial)

November 21, 2016 at 9:13 AM

Step Down


"Something to remember," it's not...


Andrea! How was your birthday weekend? Happy Birthday with love from Lori! To make up for the delay, how about a hint? It’s not John Mayer.

November 21, 2016 at 6:02 AM

Something to remember


Something to remember


He’s single now so he’s free for single nights. And it seems he has a signature one night special, something he sends afterwards so that he can be remembered. But before we get to that, let’s get into the action first. The action he often enjoys on these nights is to do it his way all over the breasts. I quite like this move myself, with the right person. Now that you know this about him though? Are you thinking what I’m thinking? And picturing his kink and his past? Who he was with in the past?

As for that memento, the something to remember, even though he’s famous he has no worries Snapping to his one nights a picture of his dick. One of the reasons he’s probably not that concerned about his dick getting out, though I don’t think it has (yet), is because of how it’s been described by those who’ve seen it (and there are multiples). Here are some of the adjectives: “big”, “veiny”, “massive”. It’s almost as though he wants us to see, wants his dick pics to be shared. He does it with such frequency, it’s almost as though he’s daring it to happen. Sure, if that happens, he’ll front outrage, but it’s not like he’s particularly discerning about the recipients. It’s just that, so far, the recipients haven’t bothered. Which makes it even better, or maybe worse. That, perhaps, even though it’s “big, veiny, massive”, the recipients – so far, at least – haven’t felt the need to boast about it, about him, in particular.

November 18, 2016 at 11:19 AM

Update (11/21/16):
denial: John Mayer


Poll Results: Making out in the open

Making out in the open


"I guess she's into skeeves?" reveal 3


Amanda Seyfried engaged

Amanda Seyfried stepped out today in New York, with her dog, without her fiancé. Her fiancé is now Thomas Sadoski. US Weekly confirmed it yesterday. Amanda and Thomas worked together last year on the play The Way We Get By. He was married at the time. His marriage ended last summer. And he and Amanda, um, “reconnected” (this is how the magazine describes it) earlier this year on The Last Word. They went public with their relationship in March which must, like, totally, totally have been really new into their situation, like barely a couple of months in. Super fresh. So, if you want to get technical, they’ve been dating 9 months and now they’re getting married …which…you know, in some ways, they’re kinda perfect together, maybe even less likely to disappoint each other.

September 13, 2016 at 2:54 PM

I guess she's into skeeves?


The gossip photo booth


There’s a photo booth at one of the most popular celebrity restaurants in LA. And some really, really great gossip goes down, sometimes literally, inside of it. Here are some of the photo booth’s dirtiest stories over the last few months:

An actor in a bad mood with his date, not famous. She’s oblivious to his sulky behaviour, pretty excited to be there, and pleads with him to take a picture with her. When she pulls him into the booth, he obliges, then there’s a loud thud from inside, followed by a muffled gasp. He exits. She comes out a few minutes later, weeping, and then leaves by herself.

A married couple. She’s the star in the relationship. But they love getting high together. Sometimes, when they’re using though, she gets paranoid and insecure. One night she accused him of being attracted to someone else. She starts obsessing about her weight. They start fighting. He starts pleading with her. He pulls her into the photo booth to calm her down. She’s crying about wanting to throw up her dinner, doesn’t want to wait until they get home. He grabs a napkin and she does it right there.

And finally, he’s young, she’s older. She’s feeling herself though, that he would be interested in her, after having children and after her sh-tty relationship. So, emboldened by his attraction to her, when they end up in the photo booth, she rewards him for his attention and sucks him off.

September 9, 2016 at 8:56 AM


US Weekly reported this week that Gavin Rossdale and Elin Nordegren went on a first date recently. Please please please will it be ok for me to just say this one thing because I can't help myself? Gavin and Gwen Stefani got divorced because she caught him cheating with the nanny; Elin used to be a nanny! I'm sorry. I had to.

Anyway, US says that Gavin and Elin were set up by mutual friends. This is very interesting to me. Imagine you had a friend who came to you all like "I have a guy for you!"

Ok. Tell me about him.

"He's got 3 kids. He's financially stable. He's good looking. Oh and his marriage ended because he kept f-cking around on his wife, the last time with their nanny."

Would you be down?

The mutual friend? Not sure. But they might have Roger Federer in common. Tiger Woods and Roger are friends. Roger and Gavin are very good friends. Roger would totally be the kind of friend who'd vouch for Gavin despite the cheating.

September 8, 2016 at 11:41 AM

Two Men and their arrangements


"Testosterone Tantrums" reveal 3


The Rock’s Instagram shade was not about Scott Eastwood. It was also not about Tyrese Gibson, as I initially wondered. According to TMZ, The Rock was targeting Vin Diesel, the main man of the Fast Furious franchise:

We're told The Rock has butted heads with Vin during the production, in part because V.D. is a producer and has made decisions that didn't sit well with the former wrestling champ.

Our sources say The Rock and Vin had a meeting on the Atlanta set mid-day Tuesday ... partly because tensions were running so high it was almost impossible to shoot scenes. We do not know if they resolved their issues.

As we reported, almost the entire cast is angry at Rock for causing a stir just a week and a half before filming ends.

Boy Sh-t!

Just like Girl Sh-t except when it’s Boy Sh-t TMZ calls it “decisions” instead of high maintenance behaviour. Girl Sh-t is over nails, hair, and boys. Boy Sh-t is all about the work, ya get?

Or, rather, the non-work. I blinded like 10 years ago about how Vin behaved like a spoiled king on set. And it’s no secret even beyond the industry that he doesn’t exactly observe Hugh Jackman levels of professionalism. Naively though I wrote yesterday that I didn’t think it was him because, well, he’s got money in this thing. And, typically, when you have money tied up in something you want to take care of it. Well, once again, I’m a stupid c-nt. I got an anonymous tip yesterday alleging that Vin’s work ethic was allegedly not that great on xXx either:

“Diesel was a producer on that film as well, and he repeatedly held up production due to his partying (and insisting on being helicoptered into remote locations after partying all night, while the rest of the cast and crew had to trek in by foot and wait for hours for him). ALLEGEDLY, as well, his head has been superimposed on his stunt double for the majority of the movie, as his physique was not good enough.”

Please note that I’m still second and third sourcing this email and it may well be that Vin was the opposite and always showed up on time, bringing it all the way with his energy and his attitude, leading by example and excellence! Go Vin!

Should The Rock have taken his complaints public though? Isn’t that unprofessional? Yeah, probably. I wonder though how he would try to defend it. This is the second time The Rock and Vin have worked together. And if this is Vin’s established pattern, a pattern that hasn’t been checked by studio executives, other producers, other actors etc, or they’ve been trying to address the pattern for years to no avail, and the movies keep making money anyway, is public shaming a viable last resort? Or is it always, always off-side no matter what, no matter who?

On a similar note, while we’re talking about Boy Sh-t, if your competitor taunts you by shadowboxing in your face the night before, and is so obsessed with you to the point where he can’t even stop looking over at you when he’s supposed to be swimming forward, and then you outrace him, is it then totally OK to shove your dick in his face when you touch the wall first?

Seriously, if you’re not watching the Olympics you are missing out on some mega monster gossip.

August 10, 2016 at 1:00 PM

Testosterone Tantrums


Gaga and “the break”

It’s an eternal relationship debate: do breaks work?

Yesterday it was reported that Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney have ended their engagement. Then Gaga posted this message on Instagram that seems to leave open the possibility for reconciliation:
I never used to believe that people who say “we’re on a break” ever end up un-breaking. But I might be full of sh-t because my parents were divorced for over 10 years and my mother married someone else in between, but still eventually got back together.

Is it a celebrity trend though? This “break”?

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced they would be divorcing last year. They’ve yet to file paperwork and there’s speculation that they might be working to get back together.

Jillian Fink actually filed for divorce from Patrick Dempsey in January 2015. They called off the divorce a year later.

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth ended their engagement three years ago. Last Christmas they got back together.

Gaga and Taylor have broken up before. So they have experience with breaking and un-breaking. I think though that the key to unbreaking is being honest about what happened during the break. Or maybe before the break.

July 20, 2016 at 1:59 PM

Sidepiece on the sidejob


Step Down


Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum are still together 10 years later. It doesn’t always end up that way.

This superstar is single and she’s been feeling herself lately. Boys, unfortunately, have always been a blind spot. On a recent project, a 19 year old dancer caught her eye. So she went for it. They hooked up. Which was great. Until he told everyone – the crew, the other dancers. When she found out she was mortified. She freaked. Mega drama. She couldn’t look at him anymore. She didn’t want to see his face again, ever. Insisted on drastic changes so that he would no longer have the privilege of being associated with her and she would no longer have to be reminded of him. That’s not the official reason, of course. Creative differences are always the official reason. But, behind the scenes, from people who were there, this is what everyone is talking about.

August 16, 2016 at 8:38 AM

Update (11/24/16):


"Sidepiece on the sidejob" reveal 2


Gaga is single

That’s what they’re all doing this week, getting under the nuclear gossip cloud created by Taylor Swift and Kanye West and his wife. Did that make sense? Whatever. My point is, since that story is dominating headlines and attention, if you’re a celebrity and you have some bad news to share and you don’t want people focusing on you, drop your load now. Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson are done. And so are Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney.

They’ve been together 5 years. He proposed in 2015. They were together through award season, the Golden Globes, the Oscars, as she was nominated both for co-writing a song and for her performance on American Horror Story. Up and down those red carpets they kept talking about their wedding plans. Well… but…acting doesn’t seem like, um, so much of a sidejob anymore. Page Six reported (again) this week that Gaga has accepted the role vacated by Beyoncé in Bradley Cooper’s version of A Star Is Born. It’s a different focus. And a different goal. Gaga wants to be a movie star first. And, well, you know, besides. If you were paying attention.

July 19, 2016 at 1:44 PM

Sidepiece on the sidejob


Making out in the open


It’s one of the most enduring marriages in the business. They’ve been together a long, long, long time. And it’s not like those with his job, in his position, are known for fidelity. Through his career though, he’s managed to avoid major scandal. That’s not the only reason he’s beloved but he is beloved. Maybe the secret is that they keep it open? I hope so. Because two weeks ago he was seen at an exclusive Hollywood hangout making out with a woman in the fashion industry. She has a boyfriend of her own. Since they weren’t terribly discreet about it, either they thought no one would talk about it or, well, his wife is OK with it. If she’s not, it will cost him. And he is worth a LOT.

July 12, 2016 at 8:21 AM


"Two Men and their arrangements" Man #2 reveal


Bradley Cooper was on a roll for a while there professionally. Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle, Guardians Of The Galaxy, and (the overrated) American Sniper, back to back to back to back over three years. And since then…kind of a slump. There was no excitement for Serena. Aloha was a mess. Burnt didn’t go anywhere. And Joy was pretty forgettable. He has a supporting role in the upcoming War Dogs, starring Jonah Hill and Miles Teller, but that’s not really his movie. So it makes sense that he’s taking his time deciding what’s next. There’s been a lot of talk about the remake of A Star Is Born, now with Lady Gaga playing the female lead over Beyoncé, but so far no definitive announcements have been made to confirm the project. And there was some buzz over a year ago that he and Robert De Niro would be working on a movie called Honeymoon With Harry, by Dan Fogelman, about a man whose fiancée dies right before the wedding and ends up on a trip with his would-be father-in-law but I wonder if Zac Efron’s appalling Dirty Grandpa may have derailed that for the time being.

Until he figures out his next move then, Bradley Cooper headlines have been on his love life. Here he is in Paris with Irina Shayk this weekend before sitting front row at Versace, in between Jennifer Garner and Naomi Campbell, to watch her walk the runway. Last week Coop was at Glastonbury, dancing more attractively than his friend Leonardo DiCaprio. It’s a similar life though, non? Coop just doesn’t hide as much. Or, rather, the not hiding maybe serves other purposes. This weekend is the Wimbledon final, where Roger Federer just got through the fourth round today and with Novak Djokovic out the way, Roger has a very good chance at his 8th title. Coop was at Wimbledon last year, bro-ing down with Gerard Butler. I feel like we may see him there again this year.

July 4, 2016 at 9:36 AM

Two Men and their arrangements


A bag for silence


A known randy man, celebrated lothario, international party animal, and now an actor who’s supposed to be in a serious relationship …but before that happened he got a lot of action. The right thing to do when you have herpes is to disclose the information before the sex happens. Which, credit to him, he did in one case that I know of. But when you’re a celebrity you have to make sure your former partners keep your secrets. So he generously sends her a designer bag (Chanel is preferred) every month keep it locked down.

June 23, 2016 at 12:58


"I guess she’s into skeeves?" reveal 2


Amanda Seyfried & Thomas Sadoski: voting official

Speaking of Dominic Cooper…

Remember when Dominic Cooper and Amanda Seyfried were a thing? No? Mamma Mia?

She was pretty candid then about why they broke up. Apparently she found out he was still seeing another girl even though she thought they were together:

"I got my heart broken pretty hard. I was just kind of foolishly thinking that the two of them were done and Dom and I were involved."

Umm… how…ironic? Is that ironic?

Joanna wrote the other day about Amanda Seyfried and Thomas Sadoski going social media official. Yesterday they were papped holding hands after voting, evidently more and more comfortable with being known publicly as a couple, because people will have, by now, forgotten about the timing. Or didn’t stop to care about the timing. This time.

June 8, 2016 at 9:55 AM

I guess she's into skeeves?


"Breakup and Tune-up" reveal


Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons worked together on Fargo. If you don’t know him, it means you haven’t watched Friday Night Lights. And if you haven’t watched Friday Night Lights, it means you’ve been ignoring my nagging …for years. Which, OK, fair enough. But don’t let a piece of sh-t like me stand in the way of you appreciating one of the best television series of the last decade.

Jesse, of course, played Landry. The lead singer of Crucifictorius. And now…

Landry gets the girl!

He and Kirsten were together on the weekend. And at one point, the paps photographed them kissing. He kinda looks here like he could be related to Garrett Hedlund, doesn’t he? Anyway, since the end of FNL, it’s actually Jesse who’s had the most successful career. He’s, ahem, a smart guy. He works on prestige television projects. He works on prestige film projects. He works. And he works steadily. And I feel like his trajectory might be similar to that of, say, a Bryan Cranston (and, yes, he was on Breaking Bad too). He might not “break” out until he’s in his 40s but when he does, everyone will be like, oh yeah, that guy, I’ve been watching him for years.

May 31, 2016 at 9:02 AM

Breakup and Tune-up


"Breakup and Tune-up" clue


Kiki & Garrett are over

US Weekly broke the news yesterday that after four years together, Kirsten Dunst and Garrett Hedlund are over. Here they are at the Golden Globes at the beginning of the year. They seemed great together, then. And she’s been talking lately like it’s still great, mentioning recently in UK InStyle that “all I can say is it’s my longest relationship, so it’s working, right?!”

After US Weekly’s report, E! and PEOPLE both followed with confirmations of their own that the two are done. And it’s not just because they haven’t been photographed together for a while. The easy answer as to why, and probably what most magazines will end up attributing it to, is that she’s been talking like she wants to start a family and he wasn’t ready. So it’s lifestyle. But more than just that kind of lifestyle. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, and you’ve been, um, seeing it well, they started off with the same lifestyle. These days though, Garrett is super, super chill while Kiki prefers hers less smoke and more compounds.

Some sources have also observed that while they were happy, she always seemed more into it than he was. That for him, she wasn’t “the one” and that he may have always been waiting for another co-star who never looked at him the same way. How soon is too soon though to make suggestions? I have some. And we should start fresh.

April 13, 2016 at 7:14 AM

Breakup and Tune-up


She exited a long relationship not too long ago. While they were together, they definitely partied, but he preferred a more chill vibe while she was getting too into the pills. Which is why he claims they ended it. Turns out, around the time of her split, she went to rehab for a tune-up and is now sober and re-focusing on her work. Her work, recently, was rather high profile, a prestige assignment. But she was miserable in that environment, not only trying to avoid bad habits but, apparently, not getting along with her colleagues; supposedly they never wanted to hear her opinions.

Now that she’s clean, her perspective has changed too. So she’s going around telling people that the reason she’s not with him anymore is because he’s not stimulating enough intellectually even though she was so attracted to him. There were a lot of romantic gestures, like dedicating his art to her, but ultimately she’s revised their history to read that she left because she wants someone smarter.

May 26, 2016 at 2:01 PM

Update (5/31/16):


Multiple posts to address this situation…

As first reported by TMZ yesterday, after 15 months of marriage, Amber Heard filed for divorce earlier this week, just three days after Johnny Depp’s mother Betty Sue passed away. So, um, not exactly a conscious uncoupling then? After all this time, Amber’s finally good for something.

Apparently there’s no prenup. And Johnny’s worth a lot of cash money, estimated $400 million. Amber’s asking spousal support. He’s retained the services of Laura Wasser to deny her request – another reason this is looking ugly. And where’s that ugliness coming from?

According to TMZ Johnny’s late ma and his kids and his siblings can’t stand Amber. They think she’s an asshole. And supposedly Betty Sue believed Amber’s an opportunist, leveraging a relationship with Johnny for her career – not that it’s helped in any way. Which is probably why she hit the exit. But more on her motivations in the next post.

TMZ’s sources say that Amber cockblocked Betty Sue’s access to her son and that Johnny only saw his ma once after he and Amber got married. A few months ago, however, Johnny moved his ma into his home – likely because she was quite ill, considering she just died – and that’s when everything went beyond repair. OK but…if you’ve been reading my blog long enough, you kinda knew it would go down this way, non? Otherwise, why was he sleeping on the couch?

That riddle was posted last March. When Johnny was in Australia shooting Pirates. And Marilyn Manson was touring there. He crashed with Manson instead so that Amber couldn’t reach him. Shortly after, Johnny injured his hand on set and had to fly back to LA for surgery, remember that? At the time, they didn’t anticipate a major delay in production. But after a month, there were reports coming out of Australia that he wasn’t showing up for work, “missing” amid rumours that his marriage was already in trouble. And then the next day he and Amber arrive in Australia together, holding hands, making a big show of their togetherness, even as PEOPLE Magazine reported that they were leading “separate lives” – click here for a refresher on that.

By the way, that’s also when they brought the dogs over to Australia and the whole dog scandal went down. So. It’s been a f-cking year. Which is why this can’t be a surprise.

Let’s not call Amber the only asshole in this situation though. Johnny was with Vanessa Paradis for a long time. And towards the end, with Vanessa, it’s not like he was some kind of dream. When Johnny and Angelina Jolie were shooting The Tourist in Venice, all the tabloids could focus on was whether or not there were problems between Brange. Brange was actually fine. Ironically Johnny and Vanessa were the ones who were scrapping. Rumour has it she was done with all his bro-down boozing and rock-starring, not being present in their relationship, and he allegedly thought she was a nag. She wasn’t a nag. And, as it turns out, she’s a lot less dramatic than who he ended up leaving her for. Amber Heard may not go so quietly. More on Amber next..

May 26, 2016 at 9:37 AM

Why he's sleeping on the couch


"Two unfaithful wives" "Second wife" reveal


Gwyneth Paltrow posted this group photo on Instagram yesterday. As you can see, her children, Apple and Moses, are there. A few other people who look so familiar I just can’t place them right now but if you can, please tell me. Oh yeah, and Chris Martin, at the other end of the table, but that’s him. Definitely him.

Is Brad Falchuk the one taking the picture? Or was his divorce also a conscious uncoupling? Ahem.

It’s still fascinating to me. That now that they’re no longer together, only now is she including him in her social media posts.

Anyway, the food looks delicious and I’ve decided I need more white serving platters in every single shape I can find.

November 27, 2015 at 8:54 AM

Two unfaithful wives


"Warning Signs" reveal 3


Exactly a week ago, we were looking at pictures of Selena Gomez eating Orlando Bloom’s neck in a booth in Vegas. Apparently they also left together – but with friends. Click here for a refresher.

“Friends” is the operative word. And, after a couple of cryptic posts on Twitter, Katy Perry definitively chose the “friends” explanation and tweeted about conspiracy theories and not feeding the beast which Selena retweeted so… no drama here? Move along then? Sure. We’re not the ones who are paying.

And now Katy and Orlando are in Cannes. Katy’s scheduled to perform at the amfAR gala on Thursday night. Orlando is scheduled to be there to party. They were photographed kissing on Roman Abramovich’s yacht this weekend – click here to see. Other people who’ve been invited on that yacht include Kanye West’s wife’s mother. Leo’s been known to show up too. And these boat parties, they get real messy. Ahem. Don’t think Orly minds.

May 16, 2016 at 9:11 AM

Warning Signs


"Warning Signs" reveal 2


Photo Assumption: Selena & Orlando in Vegas

Your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend is in Vegas. You see these photos of him/her with someone else. Are you like, yeah, this is just a friendly embrace. They were hugging, after an intense conversation AT A CLUB, and supporting each other platonically. Are you the person who can rationalise it like that?

Is Katy Perry the person who can rationalise this like that?

It’s Selena Gomez and Orlando Bloom. Saturday night.

So. You think she’s calling John Mayer right now? Or has called him already?

As you know, Selena and Orlando have had a thing for a while. You remember this photo?

I wrote at the time – thanks to my friend Traci Melchor – that they were f-cking then for sure because when you’re that relaxed, sitting on a curb, like not caring about your angles and sh-t, it means you’ve already been naked together.

Two years later, that guy is dating your best friend’s nemesis. And, ahem, that guy likes to party. And now you’re both in Vegas. And… it’s loud in the club. It’s just a hug between friends, OK?

May 10, 2016 at 11:34

Warning Signs


Dressing like an asshole at Coachella is an equal opportunity for all genders. Just look at Kellan Lutz. Those tats are fake:

Taylor Swift bleached her hair for Coachella. Because she realised how much better VOGUE made her look compared to how she makes herself look. But she did not dress like a f-cking asshole. I love this grey t-shirt that hangs low in the back. I love these gold kicks. I love the layers in her hair. Her hair is SO good. PS the shoes are Golden Goose which are ridiculously priced at CDN$700. I prefer the slip-on version.

Taylor was there with several members of her that-word-we-are-all-sick-of (Lorde, Jack Antonoff, Serayah, Haim, Martha Hunt etc) because Calvin Harris was the marquee stage on Sunday night. And Rihanna showed up for We Found Love. Which Taylor was super excited about:

And then they had a moment, Rihanna and Taylor Swift:

This is noteworthy because it’s been a minute. It’s been a while. This photo is from 2010 when they were all still playing nice with each other:

As you know, Rihanna’s always been for Katy Perry. And Katy was also at Coachella. With Orlando Bloom.

That Coachella vibe is basically where Orlando Bloom lives, ahem. Katy and Rihanna have always been a lot less showy about their friendship. So I don’t know if it means anything. And if Selena Gomez and Katy can be cordial to each other, I don’t see why Rihanna can’t be with Taylor and still be tight with Katy, although, you know, Taylor would take it otherwise.

April 18, 2016 at 8:36 AM

Warning Signs


That New York rumour


I first heard this rumour a few weeks ago. Now two more people have told me the same rumour, all circulating among people in New York…about a hot actor and a married woman with a famous husband.

It’s been a while since he’s made a relationship stick. Because he’s so devoted to his work. One relationship apparently fell apart because of his work. We love him because he’s great at his job and so personable, handsome and cute at the same time. And stays out of trouble, off the party circuit, never attached to any drug-doing smut. Maybe the trouble he gets into has to do with who he hooks up with?

According to gossips in New York, he had an affair with the wife of a wealthy celebrity. Because of her marriage, she’s well-connected and has her own famous friendship circle that overlaps with his friendship circle. And while she doesn’t seem like his recent types, you don’t have to go back too far to find similarities with a previous type. This happened a while ago and ended not dramatically. Word is it took him a while to get over – not the emotion of it but the guilt. And he beat himself up pretty badly over what he considers a major mistake.

May 4, 2016 at 8:09 AM


"Warning signs" clue


Katy and her “boyfriend” in New York

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom were most recently in Hawaii. Last night she performed at a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton. Question: does Katy Perry ever not “theme” dress?

After the show, Orlando was seen leaving the venue. So they’re kind of inseparable right now. As I mentioned yesterday, it’s early, and when it’s early the horny dominates everything. According to E! however, this is serious, not just f-cking. And she’s calling him her “boyfriend”. Which is basically his biggest career accomplishment in years. That explains the self-satisfied look on his face, I guess?

For her though, after almost 3 years with John Mayer, maybe it’s a relief. Maybe it’s a relief not having to defer to someone who thinks he’s smarter and more talented. Not that Orly doesn’t come with his own, um, issues. He’s been on a professional bender for a while, hasn’t he?

March 3, 2016 at 9:20 AM

Warning signs


They hooked up real fast. And everything has been at top speed ever since. From initial attraction to exclusivity to super, super serious, they’ve been inseparable, and she’s totally in love and he’s definitely into her too but he’s also really, really into partying. They were both recently at a private event. Everyone was happy, everyone was celebrating, and then he starts making out with another guy. He was also totally f-cked up when it happened. He gets f-cked up a lot. It’s definitely a problem – one that he won’t acknowledge and that she doesn’t want to see because she’s too blissed out. Eventually though it’ll catch up with him and them. For years there have been warning signs with this guy. And it’s affected all of his past relationships. She can’t seem to avoid the dark ones.

April 15, 2016 at 8:19 AM

Update (11/24/16):
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3
reveal 4


"Exes & Wives" "Pigtails" reveal


It’s April Fools’ Day. So all kinds of pranks are showing up on the internet. Oxford Dictionaries is getting in on it too. Most of them are kind of lame. But then there’s this one, a new verb:

Leo, verb to achieve something after years of trying: “I feel like I’ve Leoed this morning; I finally passed my driving test.” [from the name of Leonardo DiCaprio, with allusion to his winning the 2016 Academy Award for Best Actor after six unsuccessful nominations.]

So, basically, Leo is the new Susan Lucci. Excellent. And totally, totally how he wants to be seen, right? (Thanks SJ!)

In other Leo news, here’s what Britney posted on Instagram yesterday for #tbt.

She’s not telling us when this happened. I’m going to guess around 2003/2004. She would have been 23ish, well within his age range, if you want to believe it went down. I can’t see that going down. I also can’t see her posting an old shot of herself with Ben Affleck. But I do love that Britney’s giving us this kind of random nostalgia that we didn’t even know was nostalgia.

April 1, 2016 at 9:56 AM

Exes & Wives


"Sidepiece on the sidejob" reveal 1


Today is Lady Gaga’s 30th birthday. I know, right? I always have a hard time remembering she’s the same age as Lindsay Lohan.

Anyway, there was a party over the weekend at the No Name club. By Hollywood standards then, just like a regular party with a lot of famous people hanging out – Taylor Swift, Lorde, Kate Hudson, etc. Gaga showed up with her fiancé, Taylor Kinney. Or… husband?

People have been pointing out that they were both wearing gold bands. On her, in particular, this is notable because she typically steps out with her huge engagement ring. So now there’s speculation that they were secretly married, even though there were rumours that she’s been planning this big ass event over in Italy in the summer which is kinda more on-brand. She did tell Ryan Seacrest a few weeks ago though that while her ma and sisters were helping with the wedding, “We are not planning anything that is worth writing about" and that it would be more “family style”.

Is it possible that it’s happened already?

And that Lady Gaga actually did a shocking thing by not making her wedding a spectacle? Am still having a hard time believing it. I have noticed that she and Taylor Kinney have been closer than ever the last couple of months. Almost as though it’s a renewed commitment to closeness. Smelling anything there?

March 28, 2016 at 9:58 AM

Sidepiece on the sidejob


"Two Men and their arrangements" clue 2


Gwen’s “juicy” story…and her Misery

Gwen Stefani’s new album, This Is What The Truth Feels Like, is out on March 18th. She’s been promoting it all over the place, including the New York Times. In a new interview with the publication, she talks about the experience of writing new music during her separation, and finding relief in the process while she was processing the end of the most significant relationship of her life.

As you know, Gwen and Gavin Rossdale broke up because he allegedly cheated on her with their nanny. While she hasn’t spoken about it publicly, she is singing about it. Used To Love You is 100% about him and how he treated her. And, well, considering everything we know from the tabloid reports about the nanny and the fact that she hasn’t denied it, it’s kinda implied that that’s how it all went down. Except, maybe, it was even uglier than we thought. She doesn’t give the NYT any details, because she doesn’t want to sh-t on her kids’ father, but she does say that:

“If I could, I would just tell you everything, and you would just be in shock. It’s a really good, juicy story.”

Yes. YES!

This is not Jennifer Garner levels of f-ck you in Vanity Fair to Ben Affleck but it’s also not taking the high road. It’s definitely not, “I’ve come to peace and we are there for our kids and I’m staying classy”. Oh no. What she’s doing here is confirming to us that what we know is true… and it’s even worse. Think about the affair. Think about how gross it was that he was doing the caregiver in the home they all shared. And she’s saying that that’s not the most shocking part of it? What, exactly, did you do? What did you do?

What he did, it was in the wake of that space that Gwen went back to the studio to work. And what’s interesting here is that when she sent the music over to her label, they initially patronised her. It’s OK Gwen. This is going to be your arty record. Not a lot of people will listen, but we’re still here for you. Until they actually heard Used To Love You. And then they were like, um, yeah, OK, we’re down.

She’s Gwen Stefani. She’s a big f-cking deal. And she has to wait for some suit in a corner office to “get” it.

This is probably the best profile of Gwen Stefani I have ever read. This is not the person who once told a beauty magazine that she wears makeup to please her husband. Rather, this is a woman who talks about needing to create and to produce immediately after having her children. Because when she tried it the new way, which could have been easier, and safer – having other people write songs for her – it wasn’t right, it wasn’t her, it wasn’t real. But hints of the former Gwen are still there. In her surprise that people continue to be interested. In feeling overwhelmed that at 46, she still matters. And I don’t think that’s an “oh gosh, really? Me?” fake humility thing. After all, she spent 20 years loving a man who she thought she didn’t deserve. We don’t release ourselves of those misapprehensions overnight. It sounds, though, like she’s starting.

Here’s her new song, Misery. And click here to read the NYT article.

March 11, 2016 at 2:12 PM

Two Men and their arrangements


From the Sasha Answers podcast.

[3:33 - 4:00]

Lainey: For the first guy--in the clue or in the riddle--there is a word in there, "juicy." "Juicy" is a clue that you should focus on, everybody. And it's not Jake Gyllenhaal. Okay.

March 22, 2016 at 8:20 AM

Two Men and their arrangements


From the Sasha Answers podcast.

[3:33 - 4:00]

Lainey: For the first guy--in the clue or in the riddle--there is a word in there, "juicy." "Juicy" is a clue that you should focus on, everybody. And it's not Jake Gyllenhaal. Okay.

March 22, 2016 at 8:20 AM

Two Men and their arrangements


It’s the hookup everyone wants. On paper, it’s ideal. Sweetheart loves home, in more ways than one. Indeed, a couple of months ago, she was supposedly still hanging out at his place. But around the same time she was also seen in a foreign country, sightseeing…and seeing someone else?

Her close friends are saying she’s actually not dating the guy you want her to be dating. Their answer about her love life involves a man with a sexy accent who happens to live in the aforementioned foreign country. And her trip there was to see him, spend time with him. And they definitely hung out during award season. Which is why she doesn’t mind that you think she’s with someone else. Because then she can hide what’s really going on for a lot longer.

March 22, 2016 at 8:04 AM


"Too 'upper class' for talk" reveal 2


Jennifer Garner hustled all last week to promote Miracles From Heaven. Click here to read Sarah’s review of the movie. As Sarah noted, Jennifer is the highlight of the film. And the film did well this weekend at the box office, finishing in third for a 5 day total of almost $20 million on a $13 million budget. The studio is considering it a solid success. And for Jennifer personally, given that this is her first project since her separation from Ben Affleck, it’s a major accomplishment and a perfectly executed PR strategy, building on the goodwill that’s come her way since the breakup. VOGUE actually posted an article about her hair on Friday. VOGUE! I know! The headline reads “Why Jennifer Garner Has Never Looked Better”. The MiniVan Majority loved her before the split. Now? It’s straight up, rabid devotion.

“When life gives you lemons… make lemonade!”

I can see her face on this poster, her dimples and smile so convincing, even I’d consider buying one.

So…what does she do with this momentum? The Chicken Soup answer is to “focus on the children”, obviously. OK fine but what’s the real answer? Will the talk show be re-pitched? She actually seems to be busier than she’s been in a while. There are back to back projects. After having to endure life in his “shadow” Jennifer Garner is, arguably, more interesting now than she’s ever been before. This is definitely not an accident. It would be an insult to her to suggest it.

March 21, 2016 at 6:28 AM

Too "upper class" for talk


Two Men and their arrangements


This is about two different men. Their stories are not connected. But I wonder if they might want to find each other.

Many of the first man’s secrets and shortcomings have been widely publicised. The juicy sh-t however remains undercover. He had an affair with a very good, very famous friend, also male. And they get all sporty together. There has been speculation about them for years. At first I found it hard to believe. But recently two very good sources have confirmed it.

The other man has a very beautiful girlfriend. And it’s been a while since he’s had a very young boyfriend. Getting wild with young, ripped men has been a compulsion for him. But since she came around, he’s been able to deny those desires and has committed to straight living. It helps that there’s a payment plan. Multiple independent sources have told me over the last week that the story going up and down her circle is that on the 15th of every month she receives a direct deposit amounting to almost a million dollars. So I suppose he sees it like an investment?

These two are actually perfect for each other. And they’re not that far removed. Surely someone can make it happen.

March 17, 2016 at 7:43 AM

Update (9/9/16):
denial (guy #1): Jake Gyllenhaal
clue 1
clue 2
reveal (guy #2): Bradley Cooper
reveal (guy #1): Gavin Rossdale


"17 July 2015 Smutty Shout-Outs" reveal


So you know how Hollywood is the pettiest, cattiest cesspool of narcissists and backstabbers? What do you think they’re really saying to themselves now that Alicia Vikander, who’s been in the game a minute, has an Oscar? Jennifer Lawrence did it too. But Jennifer Lawrence has kind of been an unstoppable force. I don’t see Alicia quite the same way. CLUE!

As we all know, Alicia in the Best Supporting Actress category was considered by many to be category fraud. Her performance in The Danish Girl was exquisite. It was indeed a career-making role. But it’s one of those would-have-been situations. What would have been if Michael Jordan played in the era of Dr J? What would have been if Sidney Crosby played in the era of Wayne Gretzky? Those are impossible scenarios. Alicia in The Danish Girl vs Brie Larson in Room, however, was not impossible. That woulda been a title fight, non?

Here’s Alicia looking super, super cute at Louis Vuitton. I’m telling you, the shoes this season! Just in time for the end of my shoe ban!

March 9, 2016 at 1:49 PM

17 July 2015 Smutty Shout-Outs


2016 Blind Items

2005 Blind Items
2006 Blind Items
2007 Blind Items
2008 Blind Items
2009 Blind Items
2010 Blind Items
2011 Blind Items
2012 Blind Items
2013 Blind Items
2014 Blind Items
2015 Blind Items


A fun, quick little blind that went down after the Oscars…

It happened at one of the best annual after-after parties, where the top tier ends up after Vanity Fair. She decided to celebrate on shrooms. And she wasn’t selfish with her shrooms. She wanted to share her shrooms. She wanted to share her shrooms with the girl who claims to be all about sharing. So, hilariously, with shrooms in hand, she walks up to her potential new shroom partner and offered up her shrooms. I want you to picture this. The perfect crew standing around being tall and skinny and flawless, interrupted by a hippy with a trophy and a handful of caps. Now imagine their faces when they declined. She floated away, uninjured, already high from her night anyway.

March 8, 2016 at 7:41 AM


"I guess she’s into skeeves?" reveal 1


Amanda Seyfried’s new boyfriend

What’s the meaning of “new”? Is it new the moment something is confirmed? Or is it only new when it begins? Sorry. That was a tangent…

It was confirmed by both US Weekly and PEOPLE yesterday that Amanda Seyfried and Thomas Sadoski are dating. You may remember Thomas from The Newsroom. He played Don, an asshole. I last saw him in Sarah Silverman’s I Smile Back. He played a skeeve. Amanda and Thomas worked together last year on an off-Broadway play called The Way We Get By. At the time, Thomas was married. He and his wife were divorced in October. He and Amanda are working together again on a film called The Last Word. They were seen arriving together on set this week and she was photographed hanging on to his belt. Both US and PEOPLE are reporting that, you know, Amanda and Thomas just realised how into each other they were recently. Oh sure. I buy that. Don’t you buy that?

Please see attached a series of photos of them several months ago during promotion for The Way We Get By when they were, ahem, just friends.

March 4, 2016 at 8:28 AM

I guess she's into skeeves?