"The Worst Wedding Gift Ever" reveal 2

http://www.laineygossip.com/Justin-Timberlakes-friends-mock-homeless-people-in-wedding-video/24981

Justin Timberlake’s homeless wedding gift

It’s Pippy Day on LaineyGossip.com! Just what he wanted!

I posted a blind riddle yesterday -- click here if you missed it. Gawker has the video. The video is exactly how I described it. Homeless people taped AS A JOKE wishing Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel a happy wedding...you know, because they couldn’t make it.

The video was produced by Justin Huchel who is also close to Rachael Yarbrough who is Pippy’s cousin and apparently his personal assistant.

ALL CLASS, motherf-ckers. That is ALL CLASS.

I noted in the blind that I wasn’t sure if the video ended up getting played at the wedding.

Gawker confirms that it was.

They laughed at a disadvantaged segment of society to celebrate their marriage.

HILARIOUS!!!

Isn’t it SO FUNNY to see people struggling and without teeth and probably smelly and definitely hungry presented as the butt of the joke?

Don’t you want to toast to that?

Of course Huchel is now trying to save JT’s ass. His lawyer sent a letter to Gawker threatening a lawsuit and clarifying that:

"Mr. Huchel made [the] video to be used and exhibited privately at Justin Timberlake's wedding as a private joke without Mr. Timberlake's knowledge."

I’m willing to believe that JT had no idea about the video. But I’m not sure he would have been offended by the video -- which is the ONLY APPROPRIATE reaction. And here’s the thing ...

Wouldn’t your friend and YOUR COUSIN who also works for you know you well enough not to show something so disgusting if you wouldn’t appreciate it? Is Justin Huchel, one of JT’s closest confidantes, so off base about his boy that he totally miscalculated on his own? Or... did Justin Huchel know exactly what to do to amuse his friend?

What a pleasant way to kick off a marriage, non?

By sh-tting on homeless people, kicking down those less fortunate, as you jump up and down on your bride’s head on the cover of a magazine during your SIX MILLION DOLLAR wedding.

Congratulations!

Click here to watch the video -- over 8 minutes of entertainment at the expense of the poor.

October 24, 2012 at 11:00

The Worst Wedding Gift Ever

"The Worst Wedding Gift Ever" reveal 2

Not pregnant but painkillers?

http://www.laineygossip.com/Not-pregnant-but-painkillers-blind-riddle/29716

He recently had to pause on work obligations citing health reasons. But this superstar didn’t seem all that sick. That’s because the health reasons were related to his wife. She’s been keeping a surprisingly low profile the last few months. Which is unusual because, well, the wife is rather pap-friendly. The immediate speculation was pregnancy and bump-hiding. But there was no bump when she showed up at a major event so it definitely wasn’t pregnancy.

Apparently there’s a painkiller addiction going on. And that’s the reason he couldn’t make it that time. She had an episode and it was serious enough that he had to bail on work and help her out. Not a side of him we see very often – you know, putting her before him. Something she must have enjoyed, though probably for the wrong reasons. Still, she seems to be getting off on his attention. And that’s worrying for those around her too. She’s addicted to the pills and also addicted to his care.

March 17, 2014 at 7:47 AM

Not pregnant but painkillers?

The Worst Wedding Gift Ever

http://www.laineygossip.com/The-Worst-Wedding-Gift-Ever-blind-riddle/24963

This is a blind riddle.

When Duana got married in July we all got together to surprise her and produce a video of us, her friends, re-enacting her favourite scene from Sister Act 2. When this celebrity couple got married, a few members of their friends and family produced a video too, intending to play it at the wedding. They took to the streets, interviewing homeless people and various other citizens who can barely afford pasta let alone a vacation, to express how sorry they were not to be able to make it to the wedding and offer their well wishes.

This was supposed to be... funny?

Again, let’s stress that the two famous people involved here did not conceive of this idea. And I don’t know yet if it was actually broadcast at the event. Hopefully their family and friends realised it was a dick move at best, and profoundly offensive and disgusting overall. Hopefully they realised they were being assholes, walking around making fun of those who are suffering and hungry. Hopefully they buried it and made a contribution for good, in honour of the happy couple, instead of using the homeless to entertain, while everyone else sipped champagne and ate olives. Hopefully.

Because who needs friends like that? Who needs family like that? Do you believe that the people you spend time with you reflect who you are? And if so, what does that say about these two stars?

This is not about Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.

October 23, 2012 at 10:45

Update (3/9/15):
denial: Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds
reveal 1
reveal 2

The Worst Wedding Gift Ever

"Ladies Room Encounter with That Girl," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_22mar11.aspx

PS. Kate Bosworth is not the girl from the Ladies’ Room. Neither is Jessica Biel.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011 at 6:29 AM

Ladies' Room Encounter with That Girl

"Ladies Room Encounter with That Girl," it's not...

"Bitch Wars" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Alba_and_Cash_Warren_bar_hopping_to_celebrate_her_backstabbing_her_way_to_a_new_role_playing.aspx

All smiles on a bitch night out

Alba Demon and her husband were spotted out and about yesterday no baby and then extended their free night on the town at Crown Bar and then Bardot. As you can see, she actually smiled. Jessica Alba is in good spirits.

She starts shooting The Killer Inside Me in a short few weeks alongside Casey Affleck and… she plays a prostitute, which means she’s convinced herself that – finally! – she’s found an Oscar-potential part. You know the formula: get ugly, play a whore, get slapped around… it always works. At the very least, she thinks she’ll be taken more seriously.

It’s also somewhat of a victory. She worked hard for this one, she supposedly backstabbed with ruthless determination to make it hers. There is much to celebrate. And this is why she’s so happy. Jessica Biel, not so much.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008 at 7:32 AM

"Bitch Wars" reveal

"Bitch Wars" B2 revealed again

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Biel_and_Justin_Timberlake_walk_their_dogs_after_Biel_is_rumoured_to_have_lost_out_on_a_part.aspx

Apparently they’re about to move in to his new New York apartment together and are tentatively doing so in LA as well. This would mean making sure her remaining dog, the one that ate her 2nd dog, killing it tragically as she was negligently in the other room, will have to live in peace with Justin’s two pooches.

So Shelfy and Pips took them all for a walk today. She was kind enough to give us several views from behind. Why? Because, really, there isn’t much work ahead. She still isn’t being considered for the parts she wants. She’s still losing out on those ones to the girls who always get them. And worse still, as if Natalie Portman and Scarjo and Keira weren’t enough to contend with, she now has to worry about Anne Hathaway. Rumour has it Anne will soon be booked for something Jessica Biel has had her eye on for a long time. Am told she is livid. Look for more shenanigans to follow.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 1:33 PM

"Bitch Wars" B2 revealed again

"Dog Eat Dog" revealed yet again

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Biel_and_Justin_Timberlake_walk_their_dogs_after_Biel_is_rumoured_to_have_lost_out_on_a_part.aspx

Merging the dogs

Apparently they’re about to move in to his new New York apartment together and are tentatively doing so in LA as well. This would mean making sure her remaining dog, the one that ate her 2nd dog, killing it tragically as she was negligently in the other room, will have to live in peace with Justin’s two pooches.

So Shelfy and Pips took them all for a walk today. She was kind enough to give us several views from behind. Why? Because, really, there isn’t much work ahead. She still isn’t being considered for the parts she wants. She’s still losing out on those ones to the girls who always get them. And worse still, as if Natalie Portman and Scarjo and Keira weren’t enough to contend with, she now has to worry about Anne Hathaway. Rumour has it Anne will soon be booked for something Jessica Biel has had her eye on for a long time. Am told she is livid. Look for more shenanigans to follow.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 1:33 PM

"Dog Eat Dog" revealed yet again

"Bitch Wars" B2 reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Alba_with_shitty_bangs_at_the_Black_Ball_.aspx

Those bangs…

Are the shits.

Does she know?

Does the Alba Demon know? That she’s not Heidi Klum? I don’t think she knows. Because we already know she has an inflated opinion of her abilities – physical and professional.

This is Jessica Alba last night at the Black Ball, hanging out with Alicia Keys and Justin Timberlake and trying to pretend she can roll in the same river of talent.

Wasn’t Jennifer Aniston’s appearance last night on 30 Rock a lesson to everyone? TV Girls belong on tv!

Speaking of TV girls, seeing the Alba Bitch now it makes sense why the Shelf Ass laid low. Or why Pippy kept them apart.

Two TV girls on one carpet? Like Kelly and Brenda but real life.

Ordinarily yes, but not on a night for the children.

Friday, November 14, 2008 at 11:24 AM

"Bitch Wars" B2 reveal

"Bitch Wars," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_31oct08.aspx

PPS. B1 is not Jessica Biel or Lindsay Lohan. B2 is not Scarlett Johansson or Kate Bosworth. Rachel McAdams is not a warring bitch but it doesn’t means she wasn’t a casualty.

Friday, October 31, 2008

"Bitch Wars," it's not...

"Bitch Wars" Bitch 2 clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Biels_publicist_confirms_that_her_self_worth_is_entirely_tied_up_in_Justin_Timberlake.aspx

There are maybe, like, two of you still sitting on the fence about Shelf Ass Jessica Biel’s insatiable appetite for fame and the increasingly embarrassing, not to mention ruthless, ways she’s attempting to achieve it.

If this applies to you, I predict you’ll have changed your mind by the end of this post. Because this time it’s undeniable.

Shelfy somehow scored top billing in a new film called Easy Virtue, polluting the polished performances of Colin Firth and Kristin Scott Thomas who apparently relished every opportunity she had on film to cut that ass down.

Anyway, Shelf ended up recording a few songs for the movie soundtrack. And of course, because she can’t take a golden sh-t without her publicist telling us about it, a hilariously obvious article appeared on People.com the other day… ALWAYS People.com, right?

Shelfy’s rep said she did an “amazing job” singing in studio and even provided us with bystander reaction:

"Everyone at the studio said, 'Some girls have everything.' Jessica Biel is dating a gorgeous guy, she's a great actress – and she can sing."

Oh now that’s a great message, non?

The definition of having “everything” and the first attribute listed in support of the fact (?) that Jessica Biel has “everything” is that she is DATING A GORGEOUS GUY.

Now remember…these words were released by Shelfy’s publicist, a hired communications specialist whose job it is to craft the message.

It’s no accident.

It’s no accident that she described her client’s having everything as it relates to who she’s dating. Why? Because her client is leveraging her entire career off her man.

And THAT has EVERYTHING to do with Jessica Biel’s definition of girl power.

But just in case you’re still not convinced? One more nail…

When asked if Shelf Ass would ever work on her own album, the indefatigable publicist replied:

"I'm not sure but I'm sure dating Justin will probably have some influence in that!"

Because she can’t decide for herself?

For someone who claims she wants to keep her relationship private, her public relations team talks about it an awful lot, non?

To hear Shelfy sing, click here and at the bottom right corner, scroll to track 13. Stretching puts it mildly.

This is Shelf Ass with a smug face leaving LA for London the other day en route to the film festival where Easy Virtue is being screened.

Monday, October 27, 2008 at 6:40 AM

"Bitch Wars" Bitch 2 clue

Bitch Wars

http://www.laineygossip.com/Bitch_Wars_blind_item.aspx

Girl sh-t is the best sh-t, right? It's even worse in Hollywood, especially when so many of them are fighting for everything: headlines, attention, and ultimately the work.

This is about the work. And the power plays they pull to get the work over their competitors.

Bitch #1 has been backstabbing for a while starting a few years ago when she was vying over a then-coveted role in a major blockbuster with lucrative potential. They'd narrowed it down to two and the studio had pretty much decided on the better actress. The contract was about to be signed but when B1 found out, she had her agent and her publicist publicly release confirmation that SHE landed the part, and even though it was an outright lie, it embarrassed her competitor so badly that her team pulled her back from accepting the offer leaving the film's producers with only one remaining choice.

Now she has a new opponent. And a more formidable one. The two were both in talks for a prestige project, a tug of war battle going back and forth. Bitch #2 launched the first offensive. She started circulating that B1 was struggling with her acting coach and had already fired two of them, studying with a third. When B1 found out she retaliated by circulating rumours that B2's assets were surgically enhanced and that she was a terror to work with, making crews miserable on a regular basis.

B2 has now struck back with the lowest blow yet. At a business lunch the other day, she made sure to drop details about B1's relationship: that it's in trouble, that's she's an emotional wreck and is prone to self harming and is trying to save her love by getting pregnant.

It's getting uglier and uglier and B1 is out for blood. Stay tuned...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008 at 11:56 AM

Update (12/30/08):
denial 1: Megan Fox (B1), Lindsay Lohan (B2) & America Ferrera (neither)
denial 2: Beyonce, Rihanna & Liv Tyler
denial 3: Jennifer Garner & Sienna Miller
Bitch 2 clue
denial 4: Salma Hayek & Kate Beckinsale
denial 5: Scarlett Johansson & Anne Hathaway
denial 6: Kate Hudson & Kristen Bell
Bitch 1 reveal 1
Bitch 1 reveal 2
Bitch 2 reveal 1
Bitch 2 reveal 2
Reveal

Bitch Wars

"Dog Eat Dog" revealed again

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Biel_blogs_on_Myspace.aspx

Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has joined us on the blogs! As is the case with everything Shelfy sets her ass to, the primary focus behind her first blog entry was to share with the world an update on her career, including the four film projects she’s pipweasled her ass onto thanks to the tireless tipping off of the paparazzi by her brilliant publicist.

She also takes the time to talk about how much she loves animals, and her dog Tina in particular, because anyone who loves their dog would be negligent enough to allow it to be eaten by the other one.

But who cares of such things when Shelfy is now a producer! A producer!

Monday, June 30, 2008 at 2:18 PM

"Dog Eat Dog" revealed again

"Dog Eat Dog" revealed

http://laineygossip.com/Justin_Timberlake_Jessica_Biel_moving_in_rumours_and_break_up_rumours.aspx

It hurts me to post these. It hurts to look at my golf clubs collecting dust in the closet. Just before breaking my arm, I had finally figured out my short game. Was supposed to break 100 this season. Many times.

F*cking Mischa Barton.

This is Justin Timberlake in San Diego at the USGA pre-game. The US Open is next week. Tiger’s back after knee surgery. Only 2 months after knee surgery. Ugh. Why couldn’t I be born a golf prodigy?

As for the Pip Weasel…well he’s definitely a whinging bitch but when it comes to golf gear, he definitely brings the game. Am all over the orange belt. And while the trilby is a bit much, he is a pop star after all.

Regarding his relationship with the Shelf… many of you have written this week wondering whether or not it’s true – the reports that Jessica Biel is moving in with him.

No clue about the veracity of the claims although since it’s a positive story, it wouldn’t be surprising in the least if she leaked it the way she leaks everything else. Especially since arranged “candids” of the two have been so hard for her to engineer of late.

There are some interesting rumours however coming out of New York. Not slam dunk quite yet but intriguing nonetheless.

Supposedly Pippy’s bestie Trace Ayala was overheard telling people he didn’t think Shelfy would make it another year. The boy’s boys know best, right?

Also, Pip might be expanding his empire. He recently forayed into television, now there’s loose talk of producing something on Broadway and that he’s looking to acquire a kick ass penthouse in NYC. Again… not slam dunk. If true though, no doubt that Shelf Ass would hitch it on his ride and make a cross country move too. Like she could cut it in New York. Please.

Or maybe that’s his exit strategy. Given that she’s still desperately climbing in Hollywood, she probably wouldn’t want to leave LA. And after a while, the long distance might be his easy out.

After that douchebag move he pulled this week on the junket though, I really hope not.

Let’s face it. Until his balls drop, JT deserves no better than that hermy TV girl who let one of her dogs eat the other.

Friday, June 06, 2008 at 1:55 PM

"Dog Eat Dog" revealed

"Dog Eat Dog" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Biels_publicist_explains_why_one_of_her_pit_bulls_died.aspx

Here’s Shelf Ass walking her dog outside the Staples Centre the other day while Pip was presumably inside pre-performance. Like she'd ever miss a moment of his show, being his biggest fan, surely she wouldn’t stand to be deprived of even a minute of staring at him adoringly, thankful and appreciative …after all, he pretty much gave her her career.

Again, this girl is a Stage 5 clinger.

But at least she’s a responsible dog owner, right? Making sure to walk her baby before the show, doing it herself and not leaving the job to an assistant, unavoidably running in to these bad, bad intrusive photographers who just happened to be there to capture her canine devotion…especially since her publicist just released a rather curious statement.

You see, Celebrity Dog Watcher contacted Jessica Biel’s brilliant rep asking for the whereabouts of her OTHER dog. Jessica had 2 you see – two pit bulls – and now, obviously, only one remains. Rumour has it, one died. So what happened?

Here’s the official statement as provided to Celebrity Dog Watcher:

Thank you for contacting us, the story you have posted is not accurate. Tevy was Jessica’s younger dog that she adopted over six months ago. Last month Tevy suffered an unfortunate accident when she was playing with a group of dogs. No one was around to witness exactly what happened, and sadly she died later that day at a veterinary hospital. From one dog lover to another, we thank you for your concern and for thinking of her during this difficult time.

Coincidence or conspiracy?
Do you smell what I smell?

Yes.
Bull. F&cking. Shit.
Thanks Lauren!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Dog Eat Dog

"Dog Eat Dog" reveal

Dog Eat Dog

http://www.laineygossip.com/Dog_Eat_Dog.aspx

One after another – celebrity dog scandals. This one is extremely upsetting.

Miss Bottom had two. Both of the same fierce breed. They say of this breed that they should never be left alone together. That inevitably only one will remain.

And this is what happened recently. One ate the other. The other is gone. Killed. Seeing as she has such a wonderful publicist however, this tragedy likely won’t see the light of day.

But every dog owner will tell you – they are like our children. We are responsible for our children. We are responsible for making sure they are safe.
Clearly her dogs were not safe. Clearly she was too busy publicising a romance rather than prioritising her pet.

Douche.

Thursday, September 13, 2007 at 4:28:35 PM

Update (11/25/08):
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3
reveal 4

Dog Eat Dog