Lainey Blinds: 2008

Showing posts with label 2008. Show all posts

"Boy Crazy" clue 3

http://www.laineygossip.com/Cameron_Diaz_May_GQ.aspx

This is single Cameron Diaz on the cover of May GQ. This is ridiculous. Cam’s body is ridiculous.

Cameron tells the magazine that she’s been "boy crazy" for a year. That she is choosing not to be in a relationship because that’s where she is right now, preferring to enjoy instead a brief hook up now and again with the likes of John Mayer, Bradley Cooper, and – ugh – Criss Angel.

Love it. Between Cam and Kate Hudson, it’s all about ladies in total control having sex. Lindsay Lohan could stand to learn a lesson.

Oh and one more thing:

Cam > Shelf Ass

That’s all.

Monday, March 31, 2008 at 1:39 PM

Boy Crazy

"Ladies' Room Encounter with That Girl" clue 2

http://www.laineygossip.com/Gossip_for_Monday_April_23_2007.aspx

Dear Gossips,

Am officially obsessed with Scarlett Johansson’s breasts. And trust me…she wants it that way.

Saturday night, Saturday Night Live, Scarjo flounces out for the opening monologue and who the hell cares what happened next? Because if you have eyes, you would have fixated solely on her chest. The photos below don’t do them justice. Squeezed in, pushed out, lifted up – girl has a glorious rack. Seriously glorious, perfectly in tune with her body, it sounds pervy but we were mesmerized. And I’d feel even pervier about it if they weren’t so obviously presented – the celebrity version of strategic product placement: a career greatly enhanced by The Boobs. Of course it also doesn’t hurt that Scarlett Johansson is TOTAL gorgessity. The skin, the body, the hair… I would, gossips. I totally would.

Monday – live blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

Monday, April 23, 2007

http://www.laineygossip.com/Scarlett_Johansson_and_Javier_Bardem_filming_in_Spain.aspx

All Men ...

Flock to Scarjo.

Justin Timberlake, Ryan Reynolds, Woody Allen wishes, Benicio del Toro in an elevator, and now co-starring with Javier Bardem. Here they are shooting in Spain. I really want them to be doing it…is that pervy?

Monday, July 30, 2007

http://www.laineygossip.com/Scarlett_Johanssons_breasts_discuss_Lindsay_Lohan_in_Allure.aspx

Mrs Reynolds and her rack

It’s the first thing you notice, isn’t it?

Boobs.

Scarlett Johansson on the cover and behind the scenes for the new issue of Allure. Sultry, sexpot, sick crazy body, and …

Boobs.

During the interview, Scarjo is asked about Lindsay Lohan and the infamous bathroom wall incident – do you remember?

A couple of years ago Lilo, coked out of her mind, and hanging out with Kate Moss at the time, scrawled “Scarlett is a bloody c—t” at some club. The clever folks at Gawker commemorated the historic event with a photo, ensuring its place in the annals of gossip.

Says Scarlett:
"I really don’t know that person. I only met her, like, three times. I don’t know what the motivation was behind that. I remember it was something really vulgar — I mean, shockingly so, like, 'Whoa, what, who are you?'"

Apparently Lilo beat out Scarjo back in the day for the lead role in The Parent Trap.

And of course Scarjo went on to star in Lost in Translation and has been nominated for 2 Golden Globes. Lilo meanwhile went to rehab 3 times in 2007.

Boobs.

To see more of them from the Allure shoot, click here.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 at 7:47 AM

Ladies' Room Encounter with That Girl

"CheapAssNess" clue #1

http://www.laineygossip.com/Ingrate_Katherine_Heigl_wants_off_Greys_Anatomy.aspx

The Ingrate: A History

The Princess of AssTalk wants off Grey’s Anatomy which is why she mouthed off a couple of weeks ago about the weakness of the writing, hiding her ulterior motives behind a pathetic attempt at “honour” to fleece the MiniVan Majority.

You will note…People Magazine has still not reported on the story.

The seeds of Katherine Heigl’s discontent however go way back. My sources tell me exclusively that she’s been pissy for a while now, since before last season. Studio executives and producers had been requesting to ramp up her press requirements, putting her on par with Patrick Dempsey in terms of popularity, especially notable since she had been fighting for the same salary. But because they hadn’t caved in to exactly her demands, am told she not only refused, she threw it in their faces when she was more than accommodating with scheduling press for her film commitments.

Turns out Katie was harbouring a grudge. Apparently when the show started to buzz, Katie supposedly had her sights set on a house in the Hollywood Hills. She pretty much stormed ABC and demanded that they give her a loan but was promptly told to suck it. Katie did not take it well, insisting that the studio front her the money for a house with the kind of security system worthy of an emerging star of her stature.

Needless to say…again…they told her to beat it.

She has been bitter about it ever since. And now that she’s been able to move over to the big screen, the f&ckery continues. She intends to keep up with her shenanigans until she gets what she wants: to be discharged from Seattle Grace.

Best part is though… am told that Shonda Rhimes was in a series of meetings last week and made it quite clear: she will NOT release Katherine Heigl. At least not until she feels Izzie Stevens has nothing left to give. Right now… Izzie still has many gifts.

Which means that ungrateful bitch will stay. And she will sulk. And she will hate it. And it will make my life.

Here’s Heigl supporting her husband at one of his shows the other night.

Monday, June 23, 2008 at 6:46 AM

CheapAssNess

"Holiday Riddle" #2 clue

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b72973_hugh_jackmans_strange_setup.html

Hugh Jackman's Strange Setup
Fri., Dec. 12, 2008 10:32 AM PST by TED CASABLANCA

What the ef's up with Hugh Jackman, his wife, Deborra-Lee Furness, and Hugh's always-around biz, partner, John Palermo? Jeez, folks are talking!

But first, a little background: H.J. recently gave an interview to People in which Jackman himself brought up the "gay, gay and gay" rumors, only to shoot them right back down, saying he's straight. And then, buried in some inedible copy about Jackman's diet (fish, salad, protein shakes), was the most delicious little morsel: Jackman explained to the People reporter the origin of the band he wears opposite his wife's wedding band: "It was given to me by John when we started our production company," revealed H.J. "In Sanskrit is written the basic principles of our company."

In Sanskrit, no less. Very clubby. Very inside. Very mysterious.

And since John's gone from being Bryan Singer's assistant on X-Men to Hugh's publicist to living partner (they all live on the same grounds at some of their internationally located homes) to producing partner, and since they always go out together, I asked around.

Here's what some of H.J.'s buds said:

"Uh, can't the public see that has to be one of the closest business relationships in the world?" asked a biz pal to Jackman. "I mean, John sits right next to him and Deborra on the other side for every awards ceremony. She's years his senior, they have two adopted children, he lived in a bungalow on their property in L.A. There's nothing ordinary about that troupe."

True enough. But one of Jackman's close Australian buds tells me that any weirdness is with John alone:

"Deb has the same ring, it's to commemorate Seed Productions—not his love for Palermo, who I must say is looking more and more bizarre these days. He was in full makeup the other night!"

Another close bud to Jackman simply says: "I don't know what the hell's going on with Hugh. He's his own man, that's for sure."

Which is why we love him, right? And after all, if Angie Jolie can screw with the lot of us as to what's really cookin' down below for her (despite this current clan of all things Pitt), why the hell can't Hugh?

I just can't believe more people aren't talking about it. Probably because Hugh, who I've met socially but never interviewed, couldn't have been more the charmer. He knows how to work it.

"Sex & drink" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/November_5_2009__Smutty_ShoutOuts.aspx

To Todd & Tina, husband and wife gossips – thank you so much, it’s an honour. As for retiring…I’ll still be gossiping as an old hag, promise. By then, perhaps, I can enlighten you about Sex & Drink. But for now, all I can tell you is to focus on the mouth.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

http://www.laineygossip.com/Miley_Cyrus_and_her_beat_me_out_low_classy_on_Ellen.aspx

Low classy Beat-Me Mouth

JailBait Miley Cyrus appeared on Ellen this week to promote Bolt and made everyone hate her even more.

See clip below.

I know. You want to slap her in the beat-me mouth, don’t you? That voice, that cackle – how many cigarettes do you have to mainline to achieve that cackle? And the low classy chair fidgeting. My mother would have twisted me by the ear and dragged me down to the stinky vegetable market to mix with the villagers if I low classy chair fidgeted like that on national television.

She has a thing, my mother, about body twitches. Like when you see someone seated at a restaurant, and they’re bouncing one leg up and down under the table? It’s the worst habit ever.

According to my mother, it’s also a sign of poor breeding. She’s been known to request a different seating arrangement if someone next to her starts bouncing their legs. And once, particularly offended by a particularly offensive leg bouncer, she actually hissed “Cha!” into his ear as she swept by on her way to the loo, claiming she had sneezed.

Never mind that she eats with her mouth open.

It all goes back to the old days. Picture a narrow street in Hong Hong at night, the sewers are stinky, the people are stinky, and the triads are running the show. And a group of punk ass gang members holds court at a sidewalk noodle shop, all wearing beater tanks, their underarm hair poking out like black insect legs, a cigarette or a toothpick out the side of their mouths, legs spread open and one hand braced on one knee bouncing up and down kissing their teeth and hurling obscenities at the ladies walking by…

THAT is Miley Cyrus.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 1:14 PM

"Sex & drink" clue 1

http://www.laineygossip.com/Miley_Cyrus_hacked_revealing_racy_photos_she_sent_to_a_Jonas_Brother.aspx

Jailbait gets hacked

Another round of Miley Cyrus “scandal” shots – scandalous for Disney, that is, but totally normal for any sex-obsessed, boy crazed 16 year old. The only difference is that THIS 16 year old has become a brand. A projected billion dollar brand.

Once upon a time, teenagers were simply entertainers, which was bad enough. Nowadays it’s not enough. Nowadays teenagers become corporations. It’s called selling jailbait, the product of parental pimps, greedy as f&ck, getting into bed with media conglomerates turning adolescence into a marketing strategy.

So here’s Miley, taking innocently provocative photos of herself – photos that were supposedly sent to one of the Jonas Brothers. Apparently someone hacked into her email, leaking these shots with the promise of more (and worse) to come.

The most offensive thing about these shots is that mouth. She thinks that mouth is the sh*t. She thinks that pout is the badass.

Jailbait... please!

Needless to say, Miley’s parents and Disney once again find themselves playing defence – who to blame this time? Last go round it was Annie Leibovitz and Vanity Fair, accusing them of taking advantage of a young girl who didn’t know better.

But this time, it’s Miley’s camera, Miley’s inbox. So what’s the spin now? How do they protect their commodity while depriving it from the experiences every teen is curious about and entitled to?

And still, every weekend at the mall, they come in droves: moms and dads lining up at the “talent agent booth” hoping their precious darling will become the “next”. Pimping is now an honourable profession?

Click here for more Miley pics.

Monday, July 14, 2008 at 5:47 AM

"Rough patch, happy ending" clue 1

http://www.laineygossip.com/Gwyneth_Paltrow_trying_to_save_marriage_and_perky_breasts.aspx

Page Six is suggesting today that Gwyneth Paltrow got a boob job. Something about her flashing a nipple in her movie Two Lovers with Joaquin Phoenix and her breast looking like that of a 15 year old. It’s an assertion based solely on observation, they claim.

Sigh.

They don’t know my G. My G has always had small bubbies. And now that she’s working out like an obsessed fiend trying to block out the misery of a miserable marriage, they’ve just reverted to tiny size. It’s hard to sag when there’s nothing to sag.

More interesting are the reports this week in the NY Daily News that she and Chris Martin are trying desperately to save their relationship by shutting themselves away at home and rekindling the flame. If you’ve been reading my blog long enough you’ll know already about the rumours that have been raging in London for ages – that he was stepping out, allegedly with some lawyer, a civilian, and that theirs has been a fractured (and irreparable?) union since after the birth of Moses.

It would explain a lot. It would explain her pathetic GOOP. The gays are obsessed with it. Deano, my heartbreakingly beautiful, SOOOO beautiful, young gay friend who looks forward to every Thursday, opening up his inbox and seeing her sad attempt at Martha waiting for him to ridicule.

It’s embarrassing this GOOPy endeavour. It’s so not Gwyneth. It’s so obsequious. It’s so common. Frankly it’s so disappointing. My Gwynnie should never have to try so hard. Like she might even want to be your friend. Or worse still… my friend! Ew! It’s breaking my heart every day, to say nothing of aligning herself to that fitness lady with the shady past. Ugh.

I want my Gwyneth back.

Friday, December 12, 2008 at 8:49 AM

"Two girls, one limo" guess 2

http://www.laineygossip.com/Keira_Knightley__Sienna_Miller__Tights_and_Boots_and_BFFs.aspx

Tights and Boots and BFFs

Lindsay Lohan not welcome!!!

Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller in London the other night, tightly bonded after working together over the last few weeks on The Edge of Love, formerly the Best Time of Our Lives about Dylan Thomas and his women. Rather than letting professional rivalry get in the way, the two appear to have found in one another a kindred spirit – friends who understand the business but who are also, at heart, two girls with girl problems and girl hang-ups.

Rumour has it Sienna hasn’t had many positive girl relationships, that she is only recently experiencing it for the first time, that she is happier now than she’s been in a while.

A real friend...Lindsay Lohan needs one of those.

PS. That other dude is a co-star, NOT a new boyfriend. Jamie and Sienna still on.

Friday, June 01, 2007 at 12:00 AM

http://www.laineygossip.com/Sienna_Miller_and_Keira_Knightley_act_like_besties_to_promote_the_Edge_of_Love.aspx

My New Favourite Besties

Sienna Miller and Keira Knightley are currently promoting The Edge of Love – this is an interview recently during which they went head to head on trivia related to each other. It is SUPER cute. And it also feels authentic. It feels like they way you’d be with your bestie. All the giggling, the competition, the mutual support, the cheating…and especially Keira. I love that she was so immediate about her answers. Sienna’s like the littler one – the troublemaker, the flake, the one who can never stop sh*t from coming out of her mouth. As usual.

Probably the most likable they’ve both been in a long time. This is the kind of thing I’d watch more often.

Click here to view.

Attached – Sienna and Keira in Scotland for the photo call yesterday. The size of Keira’s waist is indeed alarming. But we’re not allowed to say she has an eating disorder anymore, remember? She insists she doesn’t have one!

Thursday, June 19, 2008 at 7:30 AM

http://www.laineygossip.com/Sienna_Miller_and_Keira_Knightley_hand_in_hand_at_the_British_Independent_Film_Awards_in_London_.aspx

Sienna still has a friend

Thanks to her affair with Balthazar Getty, Sienna has become persona non grata in Los Angeles as Rosetta Getty’s powerful female network quickly mobilised against the other woman.

At home in London though, Sienna still has friends. And she still has a friend in Keira Knightley. Here they are arriving hand in hand and bone to bone yesterday at the British Independent Film Awards in London.
Maybe spending more time with girls, the right girls, will set that crazy bitch straight. Sienna makes really bad boy decisions over and over and over again.

They looked great together last night. LOVE both dresses. Love that they’re so well coordinated they pout at the same time and laugh at the same time. Love, love, love the shot of Keira from the side, a great shot of the razor blades in her mouth.

Monday, December 01, 2008 at 6:44 AM

"Two girls, one limo" guess 1

http://www.laineygossip.com/Keira_Knightley_Tom_Cruise_Keira_Knightley_a_protesting_jaw_.aspx

Keira Knightley: a protesting jaw?

Uhhhh… NOT sweet.

And yes, I get it that celebrities can’t always looked glammed up the ass every day. But that jaw? That jaw scares me. That is what I call a Bulimic Jaw – my girlfriend Beth, a doctor, can attest to that kind of jaw: jutting out at the corners as a result of too much heaving…though of course, let’s clarify in light of her lawsuit that the mere suggestion of an eating disorder on her part is absolutely absurd right???

After all, those photos of her on the beach a couple of weeks ago, cut abs, not an ounce of fat – those photos are simply the result of working out, eating well, and TOTALLY NOT torturing her own body, right? How could anyone even suggest such a thing???

But that’s exactly what a British rag did at the time, which has resulted in her suing for damages, because NO ONE, NO ONE other than the editors of said publication would, in their right mind, be so Cruise to assume that she’s anorexic, right???

Here’s Keira, in London with her equally overnourished boyfriend, cutting a fine line with their cheekbones, their hippy chic, and of course their love of food. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a healthier couple.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

http://www.laineygossip.com/Keira_Knightley_at_The_Edge_of_Love_premiere_afterparty_in_London.aspx

What problem? There is no problem!

This is Keira Knightley yesterday in London at The Edge of Love afterparty in a gorgeous purple dress looking as healthy as ever. At least in her mind. Remember – she doesn’t have a problem, she’s never had a problem, and you’re not allowed to say she has a problem. Because there is no problem.

Keira according to Keira takes care of herself properly. And if you don’t believe her you’re just a mean gossipy asshole. Yeah, that would be me.

As for her famous pursed lips - a few readers have emailed to defend Keira’s morose mug. You say that the contrived depression is simply a smokescreen for her razorblade teeth. This is maybe the most amazing theory, like, ever.

So Keira knows her smile is scary (surely you’ve seen the underbite, bulimic jaw, crazy incisor combination, right?) and therefore never bares her teeth, resulting in the pouty pissy face we’ve come to know and love.

Makes sense to me.

Does she think of prunes too?

Friday, June 20, 2008 at 5:58 AM

http://www.laineygossip.com/Olga_Kurylenko_and_Keira_Knightley_with_Karl_Lagerfeld_at_Chanel_Paris_Fashion_Week_Fall_09.aspx

My Olga Kurylenko is in Paris for Fashion Week – at Chanel today and look! Blessed by the Karl himself! Karl seems to be quite pleased by this new Bond girl. But of course not quite as taken as he is by Keira Knightley who is very thin and doesn’t do anything disgusting … like eat food.

Keira was on hand today to support Karl Lagerfeld too. Of course. She is the face of Coco Mademoiselle. That’s a very thick fringe. You like? I think I do. It balances out her bulimic jaw.

Oh hush.

Keira doesn’t vomit!

She’s naturally thin!

And my mother dresses like Jacqueline Kennedy.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 at 2:43 PM

"Karmic cuckold?" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Mark_Wahlberg_takes_a_jab_at_Tom_Cruise_and_Church_of_Scientology.aspx

This is Mark Wahlberg with his long suffering but ultimately rewarded baby mother today at a medical centre either on his way to play golf or just coming back from. Max Payne, Mark’s most recent film last month came and went at the box office, no doubt a major disappointment. At least he has Entourage.

In support of the Max Payne, Mark was in the UK earlier this month and appeared on Top Gear, a car focused talk show.

Thanks to Jill for the clip below – when Mark is asked about Tom Cruise’s car, he makes a point of saying he and the GMD attend “different churches”, a direct jab at the Church.

Marky Mark’s too tough for Xenu!

Click here to view.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 at 6:53 PM

"Karmic cuckold?" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Mark_Wahlberg_at_the_New_York_premiere_of_The_Happening.aspx

Mark Wahlberg last night in New York for the premiere of The Happening. It was announced earlier this week that Marky and his baby mother were expecting their third child. He also called Rhea Durham his “future wife” last night on the carpet, finally willing to make it official. Funny how things are timed, and on this occeasion (rare in Hollywood) completely coincidentally.

Jessica Alba had her baby this week. Mark and the Alba Bitch had one hot fling right after she broke off her engagement to that Michael Weatherly, remember? You will note however that Mark hooked up with the sour face not too long after Rhea gave birth to daughter Ella Rae. That situation was supposedly not unlike this one, except Mark, clearly, has not had a vasectomy, and Rhea’s plan obviously worked. Similar to this dude though, he also told her to pack it up in the night shortly after Ella was born. It was a wild, wild, WILD few months after that. But under pressure from his family and haunted by his Catholic guilt, Mark ostensibly changed his mind. They reconciled and it’s been a bumpy ride, but this time it looks to be for life.

Smut with a happy ending! Tastes so good, non?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 6:20 AM

"Take Coke for the Pain" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Smutty_Tingles_July_4_2008.aspx

Smutty Tingle

The New Posh, in every way including food and marriage (Hollywood Tuna )

Friday, July 04, 2008 at 9:44 AM

Take Coke for the Pain

2008 Blind Items

2005 Blind Items
2006 Blind Items
2007 Blind Items
2009 Blind Items
2010 Blind Items
2011 Blind Items
2012 Blind Items
2013 Blind Items
2014 Blind Items
2015 Blind Items
2016 Blind Items

"Cuba & Chocolate," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Ben_Affleck_and_pregnant_due_any_day_Jennifer_Garner_at_the_hospital_on_New_Years_Eve.aspx

The Taupes arrived at the hospital today prompting speculation that Violet’s sibling is coming like right now any minute. They don’t seem all that hurried or laboured to me. But then again, what do I know of such things? As for a scheduled c-section option, because apparently this is of much interest to many of you, she delivered naturally the first time. Jennifer Garner wasn’t too posh to push. But from a thwarting paparazzi point of view, it would be clever to book a caesarian tonight when all attention will be on the star parties and everyone goes on break for New Year’s well into the weekend…

Keep you posted.

Oh yeah. And Ben’s not Cuba.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 1:28 PM

Cuba & Chocolate

"Cuba & Chocolate," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_31dec08.aspx

PS Kevin Bacon is not Cuba. Leo D is not Chocolate.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Cuba & Chocolate

"Bitch Wars" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Alba_and_Cash_Warren_bar_hopping_to_celebrate_her_backstabbing_her_way_to_a_new_role_playing.aspx

All smiles on a bitch night out

Alba Demon and her husband were spotted out and about yesterday no baby and then extended their free night on the town at Crown Bar and then Bardot. As you can see, she actually smiled. Jessica Alba is in good spirits.

She starts shooting The Killer Inside Me in a short few weeks alongside Casey Affleck and… she plays a prostitute, which means she’s convinced herself that – finally! – she’s found an Oscar-potential part. You know the formula: get ugly, play a whore, get slapped around… it always works. At the very least, she thinks she’ll be taken more seriously.

It’s also somewhat of a victory. She worked hard for this one, she supposedly backstabbed with ruthless determination to make it hers. There is much to celebrate. And this is why she’s so happy. Jessica Biel, not so much.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008 at 7:32 AM

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"Boy Crazy" clue 3

"Ladies' Room Encounter with That Girl" clue 2

"CheapAssNess" clue #1

"Holiday Riddle" #2 clue

"Sex & drink" reveal

"Sex & drink" clue 1

"Rough patch, happy ending" clue 1

"Two girls, one limo" guess 2

"Two girls, one limo" guess 1

"Karmic cuckold?" clue

"Karmic cuckold?" clue

"Take Coke for the Pain" clue

2008 Blind Items

"Cuba & Chocolate," it's not...

"Cuba & Chocolate," it's not...

"Bitch Wars" reveal

"Cuba & Chocolate," it's not...

"Cuba & Chocolate," it's not...

"Cuba and Chocolate," it's not...

"Cuba & Chocolate," it's not...