She’s a piece of work

http://www.laineygossip.com/Piece_of_Work_Blind_Riddle_25oct10.aspx

Written by Sarah

There’s one in every family. The in-law no one likes. They manage to find a way to bring down every family holiday and gathering, provoking fights, hurt feelings, and general awkwardness. You stare at the brother/sister/cousin/aunt, or maybe even parent, who introduced this unpleasant individual into your clan and think, Were you high when you proposed?

For this family, their “piece of work” is a loud-mouthed, famous blonde who insists on smoking at the table during family gatherings (the family patriarch is very health conscious--this is not a smoking-tolerant family). At first, they didn’t mind her so much, sold on her bright smile and seemingly pleasant manner. But as soon as her public trouble was smoothed over, her real personality started coming out. Now, her constant cursing and insistence on injecting herself into the middle of everything is rubbing everyone the wrong way. When friends of the family visited they were shocked by her behavior and attitude. The family was like, yeah, welcome to our world.

But what really irks them is her habit of emasculating their son--not only in front of them, but in the press, too. Things have gotten so bad that they’ll tell anyone they wish their son would leave her, wondering why he still puts up with her, going so far as to say they’d “lobotomize” him to make him forget her.

Monday, October 25, 2010 at 6:47 AM

Update (03/15/11):

reveal 1
reveal 2

She’s a piece of work

Non smoking reshoot

http://www.laineygossip.com/Non_smoking_reshoot_blind_item.aspx

Hunky, serious actor was shot by the paps the other day dragging on a ciggie after getting off a plane. But his wife doesn’t know.

So he asked them, pleaded with them – please, can we try it again? Let me just finish, then I’ll go back to where started, and I’ll walk back this way again, and you can reshoot these photos without me smoking? Otherwise the Mrs will kill me.

This is blind for obvious reasons. Don’t want to put him in the sh-thouse when he gets home but also a great example of how they work with them, the paparazzi, they all work with them every day. They negotiate, they choreograph, they rehearse, and they reshoot. It’s part of the job. Don’t believe them when they complain.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009 at 10:10 AM

Update (4/16/09):
denial 1: Brad Pitt
denial 2: Ryan Reynolds
denial 3: Russell Crowe
denial 4: Patrick Dempsey
denial 5: Ben Affleck
denial 6: Clive Owen
denial 7: Christian Bale
denial 8: Hugh Jackman

Non smoking reshoot

Needs Nicotine Anonymously

http://www.laineygossip.com/Needs_Nicotine_Anonymously.aspx

One of my closest friends Julie – love her – she quit smoking years ago, is one of those ex smokers who is, like, evangelical about cigarettes: it’s filthy, it’s going to kill you, don’t do it, stop doing it, why are you doing it, you really shouldn’t do it…

I, on the other hand, I’m the other kind of ex smoker. Though I stopped over a month ago, I know that I will always love smoking. Smoking for me will be like that bad boy who keeps breaking your heart and taking your money, the one you can’t even talk on the phone with, because a phone call will most certainly lead to a booty call. The point is, I get it. I get how hard it is to quit. I get that smoking is sometimes that one vice some might never leave.

But what of the superstar who claims no vices? Who claims transcendence over addiction thanks to studied enlightenment and almost supernatural self control?

Husband, hero, healer…What would his followers think of his other closeted habit? Methol ciggies alledgedly sucked back like a fiend behind closed doors - yet another secret on top of all the others. Or is it that the one super suppressed secret is spawning the others? Is it the keeping of the Big Secret that compels him to cope by secretly smoking?

Is smoking a big deal? Of course not. But for someone whose image is largely based on selling perfection, whose status supposedly is said to render him immune to addiction, who can apparently assist in overcoming it – smoking is indeed a bit hypocritical, though by comparison to his other fraud, I suppose it’s all relative.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Update (7/18/08):
clue

Needs Nicotine Anonymously

Abusing the help

http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleDetail.aspx?ID=2630

Her husband would be shocked to learn how she behaves when he’s not home. Because on the outside, she is “supposedly” erudite, and classy, and goes on about being well mannered and respectful, but when she’s alone, without the eyes and ears of an audience, in the presence of only her household employees, this not so ladylike lady is a slob of the worst kind. But even more than this – she is mean, she is rude, and she treats people badly.

If the staff is making too much noise cleaning and dusting or simply cooking for her highness – she thunders down the stairs and puts her finger between the eyes of the offender, threatening termination of employment and a horrible referral. When she’s going through a “fat” day, it is pure mayhem. The breakfast tray that’s delivered to her in the morning gets smashed to the ground and if there are resulting stains from her tantrum, the blame falls on the help.

As awful as this sounds, it’s actually rather pedestrian when you consider what it’s like to work for the rich and the famous. Up to now, it’s been bearable. And then she crossed the line. She likes to smoke, you see. Especially when she’s on the phone. But she hates smoking outside. And she also can’t stay still. So she came up with the following brilliant request: every time she lit up, a staff person was required to follow her around, catching the ashes as she randomly flicked them about the house. Given that this happens several times a day, the other work was getting neglected. And the poor employee was forced to stay late. With no extra pay. I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you to learn that the staffer quit after a couple of weeks of this kind of abuse. And rightly so. Why does being cheap and badly behaved always go hand in hand???

Again…one guess. Good luck. And it’s not Victoria Beckham.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

More amusing and abusing
http://www.laineygossip.com/More_amusing_and_abusing.aspx

So you already know that she's a legendary slob. And you know about her outrageous housekeeping demands. But it seems our sadistic mistress also has some self image issues. What's new, right? The only problem is, sometimes she can't wait to get to the bathroom before purging her binge. When it's one of those days, the poor staffers can do nothing else but clean up a messy trail all around the house. And dealing with her hysterics doesn't help either. But then again, it is certainly a sight to behold when she pulls it all together in time for the arrival of her husband. Oh, if he only knew…
Good luck. One more guess. Use it wisely.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

 

Update (7/15/08):
denial: Victoria Beckham
reveal

 

 

 

The Assy-ness of Ashley
Mute Stones & Nude Windows

Abusing the help