Abusing the help


Her husband would be shocked to learn how she behaves when he’s not home. Because on the outside, she is “supposedly” erudite, and classy, and goes on about being well mannered and respectful, but when she’s alone, without the eyes and ears of an audience, in the presence of only her household employees, this not so ladylike lady is a slob of the worst kind. But even more than this – she is mean, she is rude, and she treats people badly.

If the staff is making too much noise cleaning and dusting or simply cooking for her highness – she thunders down the stairs and puts her finger between the eyes of the offender, threatening termination of employment and a horrible referral. When she’s going through a “fat” day, it is pure mayhem. The breakfast tray that’s delivered to her in the morning gets smashed to the ground and if there are resulting stains from her tantrum, the blame falls on the help.

As awful as this sounds, it’s actually rather pedestrian when you consider what it’s like to work for the rich and the famous. Up to now, it’s been bearable. And then she crossed the line. She likes to smoke, you see. Especially when she’s on the phone. But she hates smoking outside. And she also can’t stay still. So she came up with the following brilliant request: every time she lit up, a staff person was required to follow her around, catching the ashes as she randomly flicked them about the house. Given that this happens several times a day, the other work was getting neglected. And the poor employee was forced to stay late. With no extra pay. I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you to learn that the staffer quit after a couple of weeks of this kind of abuse. And rightly so. Why does being cheap and badly behaved always go hand in hand???

Again…one guess. Good luck. And it’s not Victoria Beckham.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

More amusing and abusing


So you already know that she's a legendary slob. And you know about her outrageous housekeeping demands. But it seems our sadistic mistress also has some self image issues. What's new, right? The only problem is, sometimes she can't wait to get to the bathroom before purging her binge. When it's one of those days, the poor staffers can do nothing else but clean up a messy trail all around the house. And dealing with her hysterics doesn't help either. But then again, it is certainly a sight to behold when she pulls it all together in time for the arrival of her husband. Oh, if he only knew…
Good luck. One more guess. Use it wisely.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005
The Assy-ness of Ashley
Mute Stones & Nude Windows

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