"Cheater Uninterrupted," it's not...

Friday, January 25, 2008
PPPPS. Jon Bon Jovi is not the uninterrupted cheater. On cheese factor, you were closer to home with James Blunt.

"Condom-free Sleaze" update

Thursday, January 24, 2008
PPPPPS. Remember Condom-free Sleaze? He finally called her back…with a job offer. Somehow secured her a small, small role in a movie – a negligible role, really but on a set that’s super connected. She’s apparently thrilled and he’s off the hook. For now.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
PPPPS. Cheater Uninterrupted is not Justin Timberlake or Sting or Tony Parker. Also not John Mayer.

"Cheater Uninterrupted," it's not...

Wednesday, January 23, 2007
PPS. Cheater Uninterrupted is not Chris Martin. You don’t have to be a real rocker to live the rocker life. Ask James Blunt. Who is also not the uninterrupted cheater but equally as cheesy.

So even though local cops decided not to charge her for injuring 2 elderly ladies with a laptop, Denise Richards had to be rushed out of my country anyway.

Saturday night, midnight was the deadline, she departed Vancouver on a 7pm flight because – and this is good! – sources off the set of Blonde & Blonder tell me that, unimpressed with her behaviour at the River Rock Casino, the Canadian government decided to send her packing by YANKING HER VISA.

As in “Get the f&ck out of Canada, bitch!”

Still…Denise was all smiles when she arrived at LAX a few hours later – see attached. And from what I hear, this is actually her usual pappy face - when she’s not caught mid-confrontation, that is. Word from photographers in LA is that she’s definitely a famewhore, loves getting her picture taken, and has been known to call ahead and alert pappies to her arrival at the supermarket or the doctor’s office or whatever. Which is why many gossips are now convinced that she was definitely rowing with Pam just before the laptop incident over whether or not she was the leak to the Pam pregnancy.

Denise Richards sells out her friends?

First Heather Locklear, now Pam Anderson?

I’m told there’s more to come…

Monday, November 13, 2006


B list actress and famewhore, loves to “accidentally” run into pappies in an effort to wipe clean a pandering past by pimping her kids, lost a friend and gained a potential paycheque but got dumped when he found out she’s a golddigger, and now apparently can’t find work…

Definitely the work of Karma Calamity. Hee.

Turns out she was signed on for a role, was required to shoot on location outside the US, and was denied entry at the border as a result of a violent incident that occurred the last time she was allowed in on a working visa. In fact, given that she was practically kicked out of the country before, it’s hardly surprising we didn’t want her skank polluting our rivers once again.

As such, the part went to someone else.

So now she’s making nice with her babyfather until she can find her next Sugar Daddy. Once a whore, always a whore.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Update (7/18/08):

You gotta love a girl who stays true to her roots, who knows her own style, or lack thereof, and doesn’t make the mistake of “classing up” when class in this case is clearly overrated.

For this reason, I have developed a newfound appreciation for the gift that is Pamela Anderson. I celebrate her decision to kick off the first of 4 rumoured wedding ceremonies in a teeny tiny white bikini, proudly showing off the assets that have made her who she is. ‘Cause in a world where hypocrisy reigns supreme, I’d take Pam’s silicone authenticity over the fraud piece of American sweetheart pie incessantly jammed down our throats from Team Aniston and the like.

Besides, does it get any better than a redneck tit popping wedding in the South of France? Never, gossips. Never ever ever.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Nicole Kidman arrived in Vancouver late last week with her parents, a holiday in my part of the world, without the highlights, without the paid escort, super casual, and yes…as usual, pointing pappies in the general direction of her tummy, the same tummy we've been fixated on for the better part of 3 months, the same tummy we've been chronicling since early June, the same tummy that has yet to get bigger every time we see it, keeping the same level of curious puffy that raises the same level of intrigue about her pregnancy status. And yet she's not a famewhore, right?


I have no idea whether or not she's pregnant. I do know however that she wants us to keep wondering whether or not she is. So OK. Let's humour her, shall we? In June she was sporting a bump. If she was knocked up back then, she'd definitely be way showing today. Obviously she wasn't pregnant in June. In July she was sporting another bump. If she was knocked up back then, she'd definitely be way showing today. Obviously she wasn't pregnant in July. So if she wasn't pregnant in June and she wasn’t pregnant in July, could August be the charm? Or will we be wondering about the status of her womb in perpetuity?

Still, I suppose if I were her, I'd probably be concerned about the integrity of her marriage - or at least the *appearance* of integrity - too. Man might not be straying - yet - but he is certainly getting tempted, as least if you believe the following exclusive report from an extra on the set of his new video shoot recently. Here's what she had to say:

I was cast as an extra body on his video shoot in San Francisco. It was a mini concert so I had to jump up and down and pretend to like country music. Anyway what got my attention was where his attention was. There was a girl standing to the side of the stage next to a lguy who looked like he should be working at Hot Topic. She had long brown hair in a ponytail with a baseball cap on and a white t-shirt and jeans and he kept looking over at her.

Every time he'd finish a take, he'd take a swig of water and look over at her. So in between one shoot, she got up and hugged the guy and started walking back into the crowd (where I was). Urban reached down and grabbed his cell phone that was laying right to the outside of the stage area and what do you know? This girl suddenly answers her phone. She kept walking but they were both on their phones for only about 20 sec then they both hung up at the same time. Then the girl drove off in a black BMW. One of the directors asst came over and was talking to Urban but he kept looking over the guys shoulder, watching this car drive away. In the very next segment he screwed up the words and we had to stop the tape.

So then after the shoot, he was thanking us all for being there and he stopped to shake my hand and thank me for my 'enthusiastic participation', but his freeking eyes never looked above neck level. Another extra who I met that day said when she was leaning up against the front of the stage in between shoots, he bent down next to her and put his water bottle right there and said 'Are we having fun yet, baby?' Maybe he's just a friendly guy but I got kind of a wolfhound sleazy vibe from him, like he'd 'accidentally' touch you if he had the chance.

Hmmm…don’t know 'bout you but it sounds like someone still wants to play. Now a retired player is one thing. Wayne Gretzky retired and didn't come back. And then there's the retired player equivalent of Michael Jordan who retires, plays another game, and then returns with a different number before putting on the old jersey again and givin' it another 3 years. So here's the question gossips: is Keith Urban Wayne Gretzky? Or is Keith Urban Michael Jordan?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Pregnant? Umm…doesn’t look like it. Especially not at the D&G show in Milan for Italian fashion week. So the question is – is she adopting, per recent tabloid reports? Now there’s a rumour that sounds more plausible, all things considered. Especially since we certainly don’t want those Anthony genes populating the planet any more than they have already.

But enough about Marc. Let’s focus instead on La Lopez and her aging gorgessity. Don’t get me wrong. The woman is still breathtaking. Always will be. But she’s looking a little drier around the eyes these days. And maybe a lot more caked, so to speak. Certainly much less fresh than she did during the Affleck era. Signs of normal maturation? Sure. That might have something to do with it. But sleeping with a bloodsucking vampire probably doesn’t help. Can you imagine? Can you imagine waking up to that every day? Can you imagine what that would do to even the most ethereal beauty???

I’m telling you, gossips. Ugly is contagious.

Thursday, February 23, 2006


Don’t bother with Sharon Stone, Naomi Campbell, or Teri Hatcher.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

At the Elle Style Awards in London on Sunday. Obviously the girl’s still got it. Can you believe she’ll be 43 this year??? Are you f&cking kidding me? You know, if Elle Macpherson hit on my husband, I totally wouldn’t mind. If I found her perched on his lap, it wouldn’t bother me at all. In fact, I’d consider it a compliment. Better Elle than some random no-name cheesy hooch with small town style and a bad perm, daring to encroach on what’s mine. Seriously y’all, between a supermodel and the lowest common denominator, isn’t it much more prestigious to have your husband wanted by an angel?

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Don't bother with:
Melanie & Antonio
Madonna/Guy Ritchie
Will & Jada

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


If you’ve been reading this column awhile, and if you’ve been paying close attention to the riddles, a grizzly one in particular, you should not be surprised. Still…it is shocking.

And it is sad smut.

UPDATE: yes. I'm talking about Heath Ledger. And yes, there is a clue in there about a riddle. Go to archives if you're curious and search.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


"Cheater Uninterrupted," it's not...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008
PPS. Keith Urban is not an uninterrupted cheater. At least not the one in question.

"Holiday Detox" reveal


Looks like Liv has her curves back spending the holidays with her husband and son, photographed by X17online.com at the beach still on vacation.

I prefer my Liv healthy and fuller and not spending time with Kate Moss… don’t you?

Monday, January 21, 2008 at 12:18:25 PM

The recent embarrassment and exposure has not deterred Cheese from cheating. When his much better half is in town, he of course is on his best behaviour. Especially since she seems to have forgiven and forgotten. Or perhaps she’s much less savvy than we’ve all given her credit for.

But a return to the road means a return to the rock’n’roll lifestyle. Only now his predilections seem even dirtier. Whereas before the philandering was concentrated on one girl at a time, with an insistence on cleanliness and then accompanied by a camera, these days, he’s graduated to multiples – plucked from the crowd during his shows, two or three at a time, always very young, they end up in a giggling heap in his bus or in his room, plied with alcohol and other intoxicants until they’re good and ready to get nasty. At which point he pulls out the trusty camera and commemorates the occasion. Stupidly however, he also lets them do the same with their phones.

So far it’s been 4 cities and counting – the same routine, the same debauchery…only on one of the stops, he hit up someone a tad too young. As in 17. He was kind enough to single her out. Poor thing believed him when he promised her the world. And she has pictures. Of course she’s too sweet to do anything about it… at least not yet. But what is it they say?

Hell hath no fury like a girl who waits by a silent phone…

Monday, January 21, 2008 at 7:15:43 AM

Update (11/11/08):
Denial 1: Keith Urban
Denial 2: Chris Martin & James Blunt
Denial 3: Justin Timberlake, Sting, Tony Parker & John Mayer
Denial 4 & clue: Jon Bon Jovi & James Blunt

Other parts in the "Cheese" series
Part 1: Cheese Cheats
Part 3: Cheesy Cheating is Allowed

Have no idea why some people consider him a quiver-worthy babe. Really??? Because I wouldn't f*ck Vin Diesel even if it meant Joaquin an hour later. And not just because he looks like Shrek. Truth be told though, Vin wouldn't want me either and it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm bitchy and unattractive. Word is the dude doesn't dig muff. And he's also rumoured to be a horrible diva with extremely demanding food issues. Can you believe he's been known to have his assistant taste his order before he'll eat it??? WTF???

Anyway, here's my point. Vin showed up in Germany today to promote his new movie and I can't understand it. He's ugly and he can't act. And did I mention he's really, really ugly? So why the hell does he still have a job??? Where exactly is the demand for Vin Diesel coming from??? I'd appreciate it if you could enlighten me because I am completely flummoxed.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

"Ph. D in F," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleDetail.aspx?ID=2799 AND http://www.laineygossip.com/Mischa_Barton_Shannon_Elizabeth_Elizabeth_Hurley_PhD_in_F_continued.aspx

And it's not Jennifer Lopez, Rebecca Romijn, Halle Berry, Charlize Theron, or Jennifer Aniston.

And it's not Mischa Barton, Sharon Stone, or Elizabeth Hurley.

Thursday, December 08, 2005
Sunday, December 11, 2005


Check out Uma and her man Andre Balazs in NYC today. Despite looking diminutive next to La Thurman, the man looks happy and content and very, very smug. And can you blame him? He’s with Uma Thurman for Hoff’s sake. With her many talents and skills, wouldn’t you be happy next to that???

Thursday, December 15, 2005


Cheesy lyrics, the illusion of sensitivity…only to end up a pig in reality, not unlike that douchbag John Mayer who sings of bodies and wonderlands but prefers them drenched in piss.

But then again, if you’ve been paying attention to this site over the last few months, Michael Buble’s philandering really shouldn’t surprise you. In fact, the biggest surprise about the story is that the woman ended up selling her exclusive to The Globe, a publication that writes routinely of aliens and babies with three heads.

Luckily there are photos to corroborate her claims. Which is why even though the report comes from a shaky source, every word is absolutely believable.

Her name is Tiffany Bromley and she tells of a ten year on again off again sexual relationship with Buble before and during his involvement with Emily Blunt. The last time they hooked up was in August in Vancouver. In Emily’s bed. In their apartment.

Tiffany says Michael is a fierce lover, an 11 out of 10. And that he even requested a threesome – apparently he’s a big fan of the ménage, telling her: 'Don't knock it till you've tried it. You don't know what you're missing.'" He also supposedly likes to do it in front of a camera. Don’t they all?

Unfortunately for Tiffany, they haven’t seen each other since that last romp but of course she made sure to whip out her phone and take these photos before he could run off spreading his cheese in other parts of the world while Emily Blunt is busy at work.

Best part of this story is that the only reason people care is because of Emily only. Because while Michael may be wealthier, it’s Emily who is the real star between them. Which is perhaps why his ego needed a little boost.

Don't his lyrics seem a little hollow now? If not downright fraudulent?

Monday, November 26, 2007 at 7:29:20 AM

Word is she’s a sweetheard. And of course she’s incredibly gorgeous. Emily Blunt in Mean Magazine. After her scene-stealing turn in Prada and her Golden Globe win last year, Emily is has now joined the list of elite actresses offered the most prestigious roles. And how.

Emily is scheduled to start shooting The Young Victoria in which she plays Queen Victoria in a film by none other than Martin Scorsese. So Jessica Biel can shake that Shelf Ass all she wants… there is still no way she’s going to ever be even considered the same breath as Kate Winslet and Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson (who is confirmed for Mary Queen of Scots) and now Emily Blunt.

In the interview, Emily talks about her wish list: she’d love to work with Johnny Depp and Cate Blanchett. She also discusses on set behaviour and the Hollywood diva standard that has plagued too many film sets, explaining she’s seen it first hand, how privilege can poison an environment, and how she is determined to avoid it. She goes on to reveal too that she used to have a stutter, taking refuge in the fact that Bruce Willis and James Earl Jones share the same affliction. Emily has since largely overcome it but in moments of stress, her stutter comes back.

Finally, of course, as you know, Emily is living with Michael Buble. They have a home in Vancouver. She says they are low key and ordinary out of the limelight, and she says she has no plans to make her relationship a part of her career. I do hope he treats her right. There have been rumours suggesting otherwise. Nothing slamdunk but smutty details of his tour behaviour are starting to gain momentum. According to those sources he’s quite the player. Ballad crooner acting like a rock star? Never!

Friday, August 24, 2007



Although his “art” and therefore his career is entirely predicated upon the fact that he loves love and believes in love, especially love at home, and has made millions off women swooning over every word and note, it seems for him at least love does not go hand in hand with fidelity.

Appears he’s been nailing a new piece in every city – from the Midwest to the Northwest to New York, he is cheating. And he is cheating on a celebrated starlet girlfriend with a career that could eclipse – if it hasn’t already – his own.

Because while he might make more money, she gets more mileage – on magazines, on red carpets, on award show stages. And why not? She’s beautiful and talented – a scene stealer in every way.

Still…he strays. He strays everywhere. And his modus operandi is always the same.

He will meet a girl. They will go somewhere fun – playing pool, bowling, even karaoke. Afterwards he’ll invite her back to his hotel. They get it on but first he makes sure she showers. He insists on it. He almost orders it. Apparently he wants to make sure she’s clean before they get dirty. And then they get dirty.

The camera will come out. He promises privacy. And so far it has indeed been private. But this is what turns him on. If there’s time they’ll watch it back together and go for round 2. Not known what he does with the evidence afterwards though it’s very possible he is now building his own porny tourist video library with entries from at least 3 American cities… that I know of.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Update (7/11/08):

Other parts in the "Cheese" series
Part 2: Cheater Uninterrupted
Part 3: Cheesy Cheating is Allowed