It’s not Gwyneth Paltrow.

March 2, 2012 at 8:15 AM

Not a doting mother, not a kind employer

She’s supposed to be the doting mother. Ask the people who help her with her kids. They certainly don’t agree.

First of all she’s never around. And when she’s present she’s distant, not only not involved, but almost irresponsible about it. One of her children may have developmental challenges. As such, diet can exacerbate the issue. Since she can only spend so much time with her children, and often slotted in like appointments in her schedule, she doesn’t bother observing the food requirements that can help with the child’s behaviour. Mom supplies junk food because it’s quick and dirty so that she can get out of there that much faster. When the kid acts out because of the sh-t he’s just consumed, she’s incapable of dealing with it and takes off anyway.

It’s left then to the staff to raise her family. How does she treat them? Nannies’ cell phones are confiscated at 8am and not returned until 10pm. There’s a trusting and kind working environment, non? Totally encourages loyalty.

As you expect, bosses like this always play favourites. Her favourite? Curiously enough, it’s the bodyguard. He’s been seen rubbing her feet. Of course that had nothing to do with the separation ...even though the foot massages have been happening for a while now.

March 2, 2012 at 8:15 AM

Update (9/4/12):
denial 1: Gwyneth Paltrow
reveal 1
reveal 2



"Thin For Nothing" clue

Second tier no-names

Twilight is a huge franchise. But only Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and maybe Taylor Lautner are now household names. The actors on the second tier are still greeted with a very loud WHO?

Such was the case with Kellan Lutz the other night at the LA New Moon premiere afterparty when he was rejected at the door because they didn’t know him from a Kardashian. Lutz and his massive vain ego did not take kindly to the slight. He lipped off security but still had to enlist the help of the crowd chanting “Let him in” before he could gain access. Ohhhh…shame….

Lutz admitted to the incident on Ellen yesterday but only after telling a story about some man who fangirled him at a spa while he was naked. That’s a dude who should never leave his house again. He was also probably wearing Ed Hardy.

And then there’s Ashley Greene. After trying to upstage Kristen Stewart by dressing like Susan Lucci at the LA premiere on Monday, Greene was in NYC last night and somehow scored herself an invitation to the Tim Burton event at MoMA with Johnny Depp in attendance. Am told by several photogs and a reader called CS who was there that Ashley walked right past the line and… they didn’t know her name. So eventually the paps were all like – oh yeah, you, Twilight girl, let’s take your picture. Then she posed. Like hard posed. Like Posh hard posing.

Too hungry, too desperate. Like that Annalynne McCord without the bent over kissy blows.

November 18, 2009 at 1:34 AM

There’s a new Twilight movie coming out in a month. Just today I received an email from a friend about it (Relax, I’m not outing you, you can read the rest of the article without panicking) and she was wondering if she should go to see it at one of those theatres that will play all 3 preceding movies before the new one. That way it’s 8 hours of Robert Pattinson all at once. I have not replied.

Anyway, in advance of the upcoming hysteria, the faces of the franchise are appearing all over the magazines. This includes the third tier players. Like Ashley Greene who is on the cover of the November issue of Allure...because Kristen Stewart was already committed to something better.


You think Allure would have chosen Ashley Greene over Kristen Stewart? If you said yes, you are wrong.

Anyway, being on the cover of Allure has now given Ashley Greene a major case of the delusions and that gives us the opportunity to As IF her into Supporting Actress Eternity. For some, this is an honour. For her, it’s called Hell. Because in Ashley Greene’s mind, Ashley Greene is a Lead.

During her interview with Allure, Greene posits that she never wanted this kind of attention. That all she wants to do, for real, is to act:

"(Fame is) a double-edged sword. It's amazing to be known, and it's great that there is this audience that wants to know about me. But I'm like, 'I'm going to be known for coming out of the gym rather than [for] what film I have coming out.'"

As IF Ashley Greene has ever made any film that’s worth knowing for when it’s coming out. Take away the number of times she appears on blogs in her gym clothes - As IF people walk around saying to themselves, “Oh that Ashley Greene, I can’t wait to see her in that movie about the girl who marries the vampire”.

Have you EVER heard Twilight referred to as the Ashley Greene Movie?

As for her Twilight co-stars, now, suddenly, Ashley Greene’s on the same level as Robert Pattinson:

"Rob. Oh, Rob. He's very endearing, but you've seen his interviews. He's like, 'Ah, I don't know.... Oh, God,'" Greene bumbles in imitation. Despite poking a little fun at him, she credits Pattinson (she calls him a "phenomenal actor") and the rest of the actors for helping her cope with sudden fame. "All of us essentially were unknown. So everyone kind of went through this crazy whirlwind [together],'" Greene says. "It was really nice to be able to confide in people who were going through the exact same thing."

The same thing? Ashley Greene is the same as Pattinson and Kristen Stewart?

As IF Anna Wintour knows Ashley Greene. As IF Graydon Carter knows Ashley Greene. Ashley Greene could pass Anna Wintour in a restaurant and Anna would ask her for a clean fork!

The same thing?

As IF Kristen Stewart had to date the MIDDLE VAGINA JONAS VIRGIN to get some play, and even then no one cared!

The same way no one cares about Greene’s friendship with Seth McFarlane:

"Seth and I are friends, and he texts me: 'I didn't know that not only were we dating, but we have since been confirmed to not be dating,'" Greene says. "I can assure you that we're not."

Um, I spend my whole day reading gossip headlines. NEVER have I read a gossip headline about Seth McFarlane and Ashley Greene. As IF she didn’t try to create it though.

And As IF she’s Angelina f-cking Jolie!!!

"I'm really happy that she’s doing well," she says of Demi Lovato. The actress also rolls her eyes at the rumor that they fought over Jonas. "She and I never had a problem with each other," Greene says. "But, you know, it doesn't go away.... Jen Aniston still gets asked about Angelina Jolie."

As IF she didn’t just compare her pathetic little non-story to the Greatest Gossip Triangle in the Modern Gossip Era!

As IF she didn’t just give herself the Jolie position in her weak ass attempt to create for herself a triangle situation!

As IF she didn’t just liken JOE JONAS to BRAD PITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is an emergency. It’s a crisis state. When people like Ashley Greene can go off talking about themselves like this and remain unchecked, we are officially in the sh-ts. Occupy Hollywood!
Click here to see more of Ashley Greene in Allure.

October 18, 2011 at 11:59

Thin For Nothing

Tim Tebow was in LA for Oscar weekend. On Friday he hit up a party and met Taylor Swift. On Sunday he went to Vanity Fair and had his picture taken with just about everyone, including, as attached, Jon Hamm and Kate Upton.
But even the excitement of all his new celebrity fangirls couldn’t diminish the effect that Swifty must have had on him because the next evening Tebow met up with her for dinner. At the end of the meal, like a proper gentleman, he walked her out before heading back inside to rejoin their table where two companions remained, believed to be their respective agents.

So...they were chaperoned?

That totally means they’re getting married.

But only after a long respectable courtship. That’s why Swifty’s now off for Australia. Good girls have supervised dinners and talk on the phone for a couple of weeks before agreeing to the next date. Unless of course it’s John Mayer on the other end.

Taylor Swift is not unlike Anne Hathaway in this regard. She wants to do the right thing on paper. But sometimes it’s too hard to resist the boys that should be reisted.

If you believe their press releases, there is no one more suited to Taylor Swift than Tim Tebow. And no one more suited to Tim Tebow than Taylor Swift. Tim and Taylor. Taylor and Tim. Just a simple “T” or better a simple “t” for their wedding invitations and their place settings. And the wedding album soon to follow.

February 29, 2012 at 1:16 PM

Three Weeks

This is NOT When She Conceived. Which I revealed already this week. (Dlisted)

February 29, 2012 at 11:46

When she conceived...


"When she conceived..." reveal 1

Uma Thurman is pregnant

Uma Thurman confirmed to PEOPLE yesterday that she’s expecting a child with boyfriend Arpad Busson, nickname Arki. Busson has two children with Elle Macpherson. Uma has two too with Ethan Hawke.

Who is Busson?

He’s MEGA rich. He’s worth almost half a billion dollars. He’s also a philanthropist. His charity recently announced a partnership with Prince William’s. I’m just saying he’s super connected. Uma lives well with him. With her older children growing more independent, it was a jetset, exclusive, indulgent lifestyle. Now, at 41, Uma’s going back to babies.

Did you see those shots of Uma in the last issue of Vogue Italia? I LOVE these pictures. They were taken by Peter Lindbergh - INFINITELY MORE exciting than the prosaic photographs Mario Testino keeps putting out - and meant to remind us that not too long ago, Uma Thurman was that girl: off centre, sexy as hell, enigmatic, unusually beautiful, and also sharp and talented...

Not exactly in line with the current plan. As such, I don’t think she was expecting it when it happened. Still, happy news is often unpredictable, right?

Click here to see more shots of Uma in Vogue Italia.

February 28, 2012 at 10:08

When she conceived...

You’ve figured out the blind riddle by now, haven’t you?

February 28, 2012 at 8:45 AM

When she conceived...

"When she conceived..." it's not...

I hate this dress with a lot of fury. Also she is not When She Conceived.

February 24, 2012 at 2:45 PM

When she conceived...