Showing posts with label Nicolas Cage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nicolas Cage. Show all posts

"He's the Master" revealed

http://www.laineygossip.com/Nicolas_Cage_bad_hair_at_Letterman.aspx

Nicolas Cage at Letterman last night or John Travolta’s spray paint surprise from the Superbowl? Which is worse?

Not sure what exactly Nic was promoting on Dave but it really doesn’t matter anyway. He’s like the Kate Hudson of big box office – makes the same movie over and over and over again. And looking at his upcoming schedule, 10 more National Treasure/Ghost Rider/Untitled Escape From Prison features are on the way.

As for the status of his marriage to his child mail order bride – she’s still very, very accommodating. Which is why they’ve lasted so long. Word is, she’s trying to add to the insurance by having another child. KFed Jr is impressed.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008 at 8:01 AM
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"The Other Woman Doesn't Work," it's not...

Wednesday, June 25, 2008
PS. Nicolas Cage isn’t stepping out on his mail order bride with Tiffani Thiessen.
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"He's the Master" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Ralph_Fiennes_The_Daily_Horny_Bastard_Ralph_Fiennes.aspx

Dude is out of control…and I LOVE it!

First the mile high invitation, then the naked yoga details, now it’s naked swimming in Belgium with a pool-full of young women… four lasses to one Ralph – the man clearly has a raging libido, pervy on anyone else, but totally hot where Ralph Fiennes is concerned.

And why is that? Why do some men get a Pervy Pass while others, like Nicolas Cage, don’t?

Ralph Fiennes still trumps Nicolas Cage... right?

Tuesday, March 06, 2007
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Faith_Hill_Nicolas_Cage_preggers.aspx

So Nic Cage knocked up his mail order wife Alice and they're expecting a baby later this year. Which, if you think about it, is really just textbook...and a brilliant move on her part. At the tender age of 20, she's now quadrupled her worth, gone from waitress to Beverly Hills housewife, produced a goldmine, and will still only be in her mid-twenties when he leaves her with a rich alimony settlement in a few years. Damn. Wish I had that kind of luck when I was younger...

Wednesday, February 16, 2005
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He's the Master

http://www.laineygossip.com/Hes_the_Master.aspx

Take your time before you email me. It’s a tough one and I’m not giving it up easily. One guess, so think it through. Good luck!

Eccentric. Not too tall. Balding. And very particular about how his wife behaves. Equality apparently doesn’t exist in this marriage. At least not in the way you would expect. Spouse, slave, sex object, servant…she does it all. And we are almost talking dark ages. She washes his feet, she cuts his toenails, and she gives pleasure whenever she is beckoned. And I mean whenever, wherever.

A business meeting at a nice restaurant. He’s getting a bit tense. Things aren’t necessarily going his way. He gives his wife a look, gets up to go the john, she joins him a few minutes later. By the end of the bathroom visit, he’s relieved, she needs mouthwash, and we proceed like nothing ever happened. Except it happens all the time. So who’s the master?

Thursday, September 29, 2005

http://www.laineygossip.com/Hes_STILL_the_Master.aspx

Apparently, y’all love the Master. I’m closing this one after this column so think about it before you email me. One guess!

Now that you know about his extreme demands, it should be of no surprise why his past relationships went up in smoke. Flashback nearly 10 years ago with the love of his life at the time. Poor thing realised too late that she was expected to dance nekked on a whim, perfect the art of mobile fellatio, and pretend to be interested when the Master woke up in the middle of night with a tumescent member that could only be satisfied with not one but 2 other participants.

So again, who’s the Master???

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Update (9/3/08):
clue
reveal 1
reveal 2


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