Showing posts with label gross. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gross. Show all posts

Cucumber

http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24175/Cucumber-blind-riddle

Let’s take a break from the Twilight despair to get into some sexual produce.

They’ve been together a while now. They’re beautiful and fashionable and they’ve travelled the world. This sense of adventure extends beyond geography. After so many years, it would appear that these two are still super hot for each other.

At a party very recently, they wandered into the garden. They started kissing, rubbing, grinding. He went between her thighs...with his hands...and an accessory.

A cucumber.

In the garden.

At a party.

With a cucumber.

She enjoyed it.

They didn’t know at the time but there was an audience. When they figured that out they were obviously mortified. They’re a lot luckier than Kristen Stewart though. The evidence in this case will not be published.

July 25, 2012 at 9:41 AM


Update (8/20/12): reveal



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Biohazard

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/21565/Biohazard-blind-riddle

Here’s a gross one to kick off your weekend. If you’re prudey and squeamish, you may want to skip it.

We’re women. Sometimes the cycle, it’s hard to control. How many times have you heard someone complain that her holiday was happening right when the menses were too? (Menses is the MOST hilarious word to me, by the way. Because I’m immature enough to laugh about the fact that it’s so similar to Mensa. Anyway...)

Imagine then if your speciality was being naked on screen? And, you know, how that would work if you were on your period? And this is not a porn show. This, actually, is a critically acclaimed show. And one day, while shooting a nude scene, she walked on set with no clothes on and her tampon string clearly visible.

(I am warning you right now.If you just squealed, you need to stop reading this and move on. It’s about to get worse. Go.)

So of course they can’t shoot her with her tampon still inside her so, you know, in front of the entire crew, she pulls it out and drops it on the floor and asks the PA to pick it up and toss it for her. Which, um, is a biohazard, and you know, those PAs, their tolerance is high, but no, picking up used tampons is not part of the job. The bleeder reluctantly had to throw it out herself.

This is just one of many incidents that has resulted in her screen-time getting reduced. By the end of it, there’s a chance she could come back, but she’s certainly not being considered a mainstay regular anymore either.

Easy, right?

SO easy.

October 14, 2011 at 2:14 PM

Update (2/18/12):

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Sponsored Tingles: Reveal The Dirt - Week 1

http://www.laineygossip.com/Sponsored_Tingles_Biore_Reveal_The_Dirt__Week_1.aspx

Remember when they supposedly did it in an elevator after an awards show? I’ve talked to some people who swear up and down that it totally went down. Ha. And some say he stank of it after. You know… how the smell kinda just… lingers?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 8:09 AM

Update (7/29/11):

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Another Winner

http://www.laineygossip.com/blind_riddle_another_winner_28sept10.aspx

She certainly knows how to pick them, douchebag after douchebag. Although it’s ended with the last one who didn’t want to get serious he’s still getting a lot of mileage from their brief hook-up. Seems he has a really big mouth, and is telling everyone everywhere how much she wanted him. So much so that the first time they had sex, at a friend’s place, she was so horny and had to have him so badly that it didn’t matter that she was on her period. She pulled her tampon out on the spot, tossed it aside cavalierly, and invited him in.

He also keeps boasting to his buddies that she loved going down on him, especially in the car. Said it made her feel like she was still in high school, she got off on the danger...and she gets off on her own body. According to him, nothing made her as hot as hearing compliments about how tight she is. Like that would crank her up several notches. Typical asshole, looking back now, he says he’d just reel off some standard, premeditated one-liners, just to f-ck with her some more, and get her more enthusiastic on his ride.

He barely, barely matters, and she’s a big deal, and though it’s over now he’s using it like an item on his resumé, the very opposite of discretion, and for her, another romantic embarrassment, although maybe, given her obviously preference for dickheads, maybe she doesn’t see it that way.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010 at 8:17 AM

Update (11/03/10):

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26 August 2010 Smutty Shout-Out

http://www.laineygossip.com/Smutty_ShoutOuts_26aug10.aspx

as for a quick riddle – who went in for labia tightening surgery? 

Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 7:33 AM

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