Poll Results: Hands free

Hands free


You all had such a good time reading Bill Paxton’s lips the other day after the Golden Globes and deciphering whether or not he said he “lost to cancer” that we’re doing it again, this time with Third Lip Nicole Kidman. Did she drop a f-ck bomb on Sophia Loren? Me I don’t think so. But a few others disagree. Click here to see.

Third Lipreading aside, there are other more intriguing matters to report. As you may know already, Keith Urban and John Mayer are hooking up for a CMT Crossroads special. My sources tell me exclusively however that following Crossroads, the two are expected to announce a joint tour. Contracts are currently being worked out.

Oh the f-cking smut. Can you imagine?

John Mayer’s douchery is legendary. More on this later. Keith Urban old shenanigans are well documented. And the two together, unsupervised, on the road, on the bus, guitars and pussy galore? Please. Gran is gonna freeze that buzz. Handholding and bagholding from city to city, Keith will be chaperoned by a Third Lip. And if she can’t be there herself, she will install a spy. Trust.

Here they are after the Globes on Sunday arriving at the Weinstein party.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 7:11 AM


"The Belle from Hell" revealed again


Seems impossible but Third Lip Nicole Kidman seemed downright demure in size and paralysis next to Courteney Cox’s. Did you watch any of CC’s interviews on the carpet? That sh-t is rigid. And it makes for the strangest effect when she speaks. Like she’s trying to push it out the way. Like there’s a slab of ice sitting on top of her mouth preventing her from proper pronunciation.

It’s quite an accomplishment to out-Third Lip the Granny Freeze. But somehow Courteney Cox, she found a way. This served her well when she lost out to Toni Collette for Best Actress Comedy. Because according to many experts, it was hers for the taking. Which is why she looked like she wanted to strangle a bitch when she realised she lost. You would not have wanted to be one of her staff members last night. Then again, if you’ve been reading long enough, you already know that.

Monday, January 18, 2010 at 7:08 AM


For dinner in New York last night. Without the GMD. Seems like she’s enjoying her freedom. Jacek and I just booked a 5 day trip to NYC for mid December. He’s never been. Can’t wait. Sorry, I digress…

So Katie Holmes went out in a strapless dark blue cocktail, love it, without a coat. Rich people don’t need coats. You and I need coats because we have to walk to the restaurant. If you’re like me and your husband can’t be bothered to drop you off as close as possible, you definitely need a coat because it’ll be at least 2 blocks. We fight about this all the time. Katie Holmes never has to walk 2 blocks. You’ll note, she’s also not carrying a wallet or a purse and simply has a phone in her hand. Makes for a better photograph.

Katie is in New York shooting a movie called The Romantics replacing Liv Tyler in the role. She’s also producing. Or, rather, Tom gifted her with something to do. I mean, really.

Note from Jacek: When she says "two blocks" she actually means "two storefronts" (i.e. about 20 yards). This is more accurate and now decide if I'm out of line.

Monday, November 09, 2009 at 6:48 AM