"Smack no kids" reveal 2

smack no kids: vehicular manslaughter

Cuba has an o

Cuba has an Oscar but not for acting


Oh Winona!

Gwyneth’s frenemy is on the cover of the July issue of Elle UK looking so beautiful, like it never happened. Like none of it ever happened.

In the magazine she discusses her “extra-large breakdown” at the age of 20, just after shooting Edward Scissorhands and Dracula:

“I had my first real break-up, the first heartbreak”.

Of course.


It all traces back to Johnny. And can you blame her? Would you be right if you lost Johnny Depp?

It’s been almost 20 years. And Winona’s only just now finally, hopefully, beginning to come back. Looks amazing here, non?

Like before. But less innocent. Less wide eyed. And harder. Good. Survival skills are important.

As for her love life…with her it’s hard to keep track. After Blake Sennett there were reports she’d hooked up with Tom Green – sick, yeah, I know – and that fizzled quickly and now there’s nothing certain. Aside from Johnny though I should probably mention that Matt Damon f-cked her up pretty badly too.

Well… rather… she was f-cked up and while he thought it was endearing at first, he quickly realised he wasn’t interested in sticking around waiting for her to sort her sh-t out. Especially since he was developing other interests. Rumour has it she was drunk one night, really horribly sadly drunk, and despondent, and she knew he was leaving her and she called him and he wouldn’t come over and so she tried to make it like she would hurt herself but by this point he was so disengaged, he arranged for a friend to go over instead, and flew out of town. That was apparently another rough rock bottom. Hoping it’s all behind her now.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009 at 7:11 AM
Chocolate loves coffee.


In Italy shooting more ads for Nespresso. He’s the brand’s global ambassador and while some have criticised him for his association with the company, George continues to earn a substantial paycheque wit commercials that run primarily in Europe that keep him comfortably in Como through the summer, and of course living in luxury in LA in the winter.

John Malkovich was apparently part of the shoot too. Random.

Anyway, as mentioned, these ads do not air in North America – they prefer to keep their greedy grabbing overseas. Thanks to YouTube however, we can watch any time. It’s not enough they get paid millions per movie. Even for George.

Monday, June 22, 2009 at 8:29 AM

Sasha Fierce & Jay-Z

On stage together at Madison Square Garden. Beyonce’s husband joined her for a song, the crowd went nuts. And indeed it would have been a treat. They are music royalty. Ad it’s not every show where Jay-Z will make an appearance. Lucky New York. Especially if it was Crazy In Love. Am jealous.

Attached – several shots of Sasha Fierce and that sick body performing last night to mostly positive reviews. She works hard, she’s a professional, she sings live, and you know she’s the same age as Britney Spears?

Monday, June 22, 2009 at 9:05 AM

Classic story of celebrity entitlement. And she’s supposed to be so professional and sweet, not nearly as many diva stories about her than about her peers, though if you’re getting in the way of her meal, and her Maybach, you better move the f-ck out, even if you’re an old woman in an emergency situation.

It was two blocks from the Waverly very recently. An elderly woman – 84 years old – went into heart failure. The paramedic arrived immediately and tried to stabilise her before moving her to the hospital. It became a traffic clusterf-ck so the cops had to redirect vehicles over to the next block because the ambulance was waiting for the patient.

A black Maybach approaches, disregards the police instruction, and drives towards the ambulance. An officer stops the car and tells the driver to reroute:

Driver: We're going to the Waverly Inn.

Officer: We have an emergency situation and everyone has to re-route to the next block over - just go one block around.

(Moaning and groaning and whining was heard from the female passenger in the back seat).

Driver: Isn't there any way we could get through?

Offider: Sir, this is an emergency vehicle, we have an emergency situation - EVERYone must re-route. You'll have to go around the block.

And then an imperious (female) voice pipes up from the back of the Maybach..

"Well can't they just move the ambulance?"

The officer is incredulous. Then annoyed. And then he gives it to her, informing our star that "LIFE OR DEATH situations dictate traffic decisions - not anything or ANYONE else. You must re-route now."

She grudgingly told her driver to find another way, inconvenienced that a senior citizen had to choose her mealtime to have a heart attack. The nerve.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 7:45 AM

Update (6/07/12):
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3

Last night's Bro Massage clue: two funny guys who worked together on a legendary variety show.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

PS. Bro Massage is not Judd Apatow and Adam Sandler. Closer.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


PPPS. Bro Massage is not Hugh Jackman and Liev Schreiber. That isn’t funny

Monday, June 22, 2009