"Why He's Single" revealed

http://www.laineygossip.com/Sarah_Larson_shows_off_her_classy_side_for_Christian_Audigier.aspx

Now this has elegant written all over it.

But what’s a girl to do? Especially when her meal ticket packs her up in the middle of the night and tells her to get the f&ck out?

Sarah Larson is a scrappy girl. Having worked the scene in Vegas for years, she is resourceful, she is determined, and best of all, given what she’s accomplished already, she also has no shame. So in today’s D List reality – as MTV continues to rape the definition of celebrity – a newly single Sarah is perfect.

But the journey ahead will be a challenge. Having tasted Super Elite A List fame, the poor girl will now be spending the rest of her life trying to climb back up. It’s a daunting task…starting this week with a return to Los Angeles – shopping, walking, posing – Sarah has joined the working class. This is the famewhore job description.

Yesterday though, well, yesterday Sarah took it to a whole new level. Almost an Ebola level.

You see, she met with designer Christian Audigier to show him her portfolio and invited the paps to come along with her. Then she thought it would be a good idea to have a few photos taken lying back on the couch to show Christian and everyone else the extent of her talent. Christian seemed to be very impressed.

Gisele who??? Stam who??? Coco who???

This is what modeling is all about, right?

As for those reports that George dumped her because she did up her tits – this came from In Touch Weekly. The current cover of In Touch Weekly says that Angelina is “pushing Brad away just before the birth”.

!!!

Seriously… can we please PLEASE stop referencing In Touch stories?

George Clooney did not walk out because of fake tits. George Clooney dated Krista Allen!!! Why the f&ck would George Clooney care if Sarah Larson got implants???

You already know why George Clooney is no longer with Sarah Larson. You already know and it was exclusive. That’s all.

Friday, June 13, 2008 at 5:37 AM

"Why He's Single" revealed

"Post Partum Flirtation," it's not...

Friday, June 13, 2008
PS. Jennifer Lopez was not caught flirting post partum.

"Post Partum Flirtation," it's not...

"Post Partum Flirtation," it's not...

Thursday, June 12, 2008
PS. Heidi Klum wasn’t caught in post partum flirtation.

"Post Partum Flirtation," it's not...

"Why He's Single" details

http://laineygossip.com/Mark_Wahlberg_at_the_New_York_premiere_of_The_Happening.aspx

Mark Wahlberg last night in New York for the premiere of The Happening. It was announced earlier this week that Marky and his baby mother were expecting their third child. He also called Rhea Durham his “future wife” last night on the carpet, finally willing to make it official. Funny how things are timed, and on this occeasion (rare in Hollywood) completely coincidentally.

Jessica Alba had her baby this week. Mark and the Alba Bitch had one hot fling right after she broke off her engagement to that Michael Weatherly, remember? You will note however that Mark hooked up with the sour face not too long after Rhea gave birth to daughter Ella Rae. That situation was supposedly not unlike this one, except Mark, clearly, has not had a vasectomy, and Rhea’s plan obviously worked. Similar to this dude though, he also told her to pack it up in the night shortly after Ella was born. It was a wild, wild, WILD few months after that. But under pressure from his family and haunted by his Catholic guilt, Mark ostensibly changed his mind. They reconciled and it’s been a bumpy ride, but this time it looks to be for life.

Smut with a happy ending! Tastes so good, non?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 6:20 AM

"Why He's Single" details

"Why He's Single," it's not...

Wednesday, June 10, 2008
PPS. This is not about Kate Hudson. Kate Hudson keeps making sh*tty movies. She is not an overreacher. Then again, she’s never worked at a rub’n’tug either.

"Why He's Single," it's not...

"Post Partum Flirtation," it's not...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008
PS. Post Partum Flirtation is not Halle Berry. Hell no.

"Post Partum Flirtation," it's not...

"Why He's Single" confirmed

Tuesday, June 10, 2008
PPS. This is who you think it is. We can talk about it some more at the Smut Soiree.

"Why He's Single" confirmed

"Post Partum Flirtation," it's not...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008
PS. Salma Hayek is not a postpartum flirter though there are certain similarities.

"Post Partum Flirtation," it's not...

"Why He's Single" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/George_Clooney_and_Sarah_Larson_split_according_to_People.aspx

People Magazine is going ahead with it too… that means it MUST be true. Or that George Clooney is ok with us thinking it’s true. Either way, Sarah Larson is not spending the summer in Milano. No Como. George is a gentleman though. She’ll probably get to keep the clothes. And the cash. And some stocks and bonds too.

The photo shoots and the runway appearances though…all that is done. Can you believe In Touch Weekly got one right?

Sigh.

I miss her already.

Thanks to Sarah, the George Clooney illusion is no more. He is not the perfect MiniVan Man. What he is though, despite the fact that he looks great in a suit, is a man who isn’t into a classy woman. Perhaps that was the problem.

With Sarah by his side, George was not successful at the box office. Leatherheads sucked ass. The MiniVan wants him single. Or married to Julia Roberts.

Looking back, given recent events, maybe the Sarah split was staring us in the face.

He booked it to Mexico last week, remember? With his boys.

Rumour has it, George likes to pay for it in Mexico. Treats them very well, leaves them expensive gifts. This way it’s all business, he’s gets off, it’s clean, and it’s over when the trip is. And much cheaper than hiring a professional girlfriend for a year.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 2:49 PM

"Why He's Single" clue

"Why He's Single" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/George_Clooney_threesome_in_LA.aspx

Sara Larson is reportedly heart broken over her split with George Clooney. Fox News claims she was given no notice, asked to leave right away, pack up her stuff from his mansion in LA, and immediately flew back to Las Vegas to lick her wounds.

George on the other hand...well... George is licking some other things. At least according to my source who tells me exclusively that George allegedly had a little bit of fun at an LA area hotel (a chain) last Tuesday with not 1 not 2 but 3 ladies who looked like they were of the night.

George apparently checked in under an alias at 2am, no reservation, and did not appear to be sober. The ladies were giggling, could not believe their luck at landing Hollywood's major player. At least for one night. George checked out at 9am wearing a hat and jeans.

We learned of his split from Sarah on Thursday.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008 at 12:15 PM

"Why He's Single" clue

Why He's Single

http://www.laineygossip.com/Why_Hes_Single_Blind.aspx

It was an unexpected split. Many were led to believe erroneously, me included, that their end had more to do with his machinations than with hers. As it turns out however the reason behind the break up was the dreaded OverReach.

What sent him scrambling were comments like this, dropped casually into conversation:

“I forgot my pill.”

“I’m a few days late.”

And then calling his family, chatting them up, hinting at the prospect of a baby, raising their hopes that a grandchild would be in their future.

It’s the betrayal that disappointed him most. Apparently he wasted no time putting an end to her plans, pretty much standing over her while she packed up, sending her away with not even a glance back.

He’s been drowning his sorrows in cocktails ever since. Not alone, of course but it was definitely a disappointment. He’d intended to keep her around for a long time. Especially given the fact that he was still able to have his fun on the side. It’s not every day you find a girl who’s ok with extra curricular activities so long as she’s the only one who gets a set of keys.

In the end though, her greed brought an end to the sweet ride. Shelf Ass Jessica Biel could stand to learn a thing or two from this example. Overreaching prompts a steep fall.

Monday, June 09, 2008 at 10:30 AM

Update (6/17/08):
clue 1
clue 2
confirmation
denial: Kate Hudson
details
reveal

Other blinds about the wonderful life of George Clooney
Mr. Popular Likes Pretty Woman?
Meeting at the Spa

Why He's Single

"Post Partum Flirtation" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Christina_Aguilera_and_Max_on_cover_of_People.aspx

Looks like People Magazine outbid the others for the first photos of Christina Aguilera with her baby Max. How much is that baby on the magazine cover?

I wonder if she nurses him at home with a full face of makeup. Am now obsessed with seeing what Christina looks like these days without it caked on.

People Magazine with Christina on the cover is on newsstands today.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008 at 10:39 AM

Post Partum Flirtation

"Post Partum Flirtation" clue

Post Partum Flirtation

http://www.laineygossip.com/Post_Partum_Flirtation.aspx

Had a baby not too long ago, supposedly a happy family. But there’s been a little blip. And it’s not just the late nights. Seems she’s been a little bored with domesticity and has had a naughty flirtation. Saucy text messages and heated exchanges, some suggestive touching and closed door petting were spicing up her life but the subject of her giddy infatuation was not the father of her child. They didn’t seal the deal but it came very, very close.

Even worse, he was a friend and a business associate of her significant other who found out about the illicit activity and shut it down quickly, sending angry missives back to the betrayer to “stay the f&ck away” from her. As a result, the dude is out of a job. And, finding himself unemployed, he has saved the email evidence and is threatening to go public, sell them off to one of the rags. Word is they are in the process of paying him off.

She meanwhile is repentant and has redevoted herself to her relationship after groveling successfully for forgiveness.

Crisis temporarily averted…but for how long?

Monday, June 09, 2008 at 6:29 AM

Update (10/12/10):
clue (baby reference)
denial 1: Salma Hayek
denial 2: Halle Berry
denial 3: Heidi Klum
denial 4: Jennifer Lopez
denial 5: Salma Hayek
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3

Post Partum Flirtation

"Photo Negotiation" clue?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Dear Gossips,

The most random night ever.

After the opening gala and the ensuing celebration for Blindness last night, we headed to Nikki Beach. Nikki Beach is a travelling Eurocheese club staple. Super rich dudes who deal in oil and other mystery industries and their Eastern European mail order brides with fake tans, too much gold, tits that are paid for, and an aversion to food. By the end of the night, these f&ckers are spraying each other with champagne. Amazing.

Macy Gray performed, Eva Longoria and Eva Mendes whatever…but the best – the best, best, best in randomness – is that Star Jones showed up. Star f&cking Jones.

WTF?

Even better? She walked in and instead of sniping about the size of her head, Laura and I looked at each other thinking the same thing:

OMFG. She’s thinner than we are.

Laura is tiny. But Star Jones is even smaller. Laura wanted to kill herself. Then she started re-evaluating her life. It was time to go home. Five metres from our flat, Dylan struck up a conversation with a cute Irish boy from Cork who invited us to onto his yacht that was moored at the pier just across the street. He lured Dylan with champagne and beer. An hour later Dylan had found the wingman to his Iceman.

This is Cannes.

And everyone in Cannes can talk of nothing but Angelina’s double deities. The Kung Fu Panda gala is tonight and that carpet will be a sh*tshow. Our first opportunity for Pitt Porn! There’s a rumour circulating around here that she and Brad will be bringing their two boys though Cannes is often about hype over substance. But I don’t post tomorrow, it means I was trampled by Brangelunatics. Right now, the South of France is Mecca to them.

I’m screening Kung Fu Panda this morning. Will keep you posted.

Interviews for Blindness today including Gael Garcia Bernal. Also Kung Fu Panda presser and the big splash tonight.

Thursday – am blogging all day between shoots, screenings, and interviews. Can’t wrap head around time difference. Check back often!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

"Photo Negotiation" clue?