"The Belle From Hell" reveal #4

http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_12oct10.aspx

Questions from Nadia: Yo Lainey, do you predict any ugliness (which no doubt exists) will surface out of the Cox Arquette breakup?

Answer from Lainey: I don’t predict any ugliness. Did you hear Arquette on Howard Stern today? He’s being very candid and still rather classy about it all. There’s a lot of respect there, from him to her anyway. I don’t know about the other way around. What? Never! Courteney Cox is not a belle from hell! Oh please.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010 at 11:42 AM

The Belle From Hell

"The Belle From Hell" reveal #4

"Text Harassment" reveal #3

http://www.laineygossip.com/Courteney_Cox_and_David_Arquette_announce_trial_separation_12oct10.aspx

Cox & Arquette: Coincidence or Conspiracy?

It’s one of my favourite questions.

As you now know, they announced a “trial separation” yesterday that’s actually been in effect for months. Something about trying to discover each other, themselves, and boundaries. It was written by a therapist and vetted by a publicist and the timing is curious on more than one level.

First, as TMZ reported, David’s been hooking up with some trick called Jasmine Waltz. She’s the broad who beat down Lindsay Lohan a few months ago. Photos were about to surface of the two of them together. So it was a pre-emptive strike. David called into Howard Stern this morning to confirm that he’s been having sex with Jasmine, but only after he and Courteney shut it down which was four months ago.

David also told Stern that Courteney doesn’t want to “mother” him anymore and that they remain the best of friends and that they do indeed hope to reunite but that they haven’t been intimate in months. Holy f-cking candid. I’ve decided I love him.

Click here for more details.

You’ll note then that David reveals that they split around June which, conveniently, was very shortly after rumours emerged that Courteney was allegedly having an affair with her Cougar Town co-star Brian Van Holt.

Coincidence or conspiracy?

Oh but would it really have been the first time...?

You don’t think their relationship was conventional like that do you? How long is your gossip memory? Especially when it’s blind? Trust me when I tell you neither of them would find text messages incriminating, although others in a different position might not agree.

But Courteney Cox is a Friend. And she’s friends with a Friend. And she’s a Mom. She’s supposed to be Just Like Me. Or, rather, You.

They really never are.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010 at 8:51 AM

Text Harassment

"Text Harassment" reveal #3

"Text Harassment" revealed again

http://www.laineygossip.com/Courteney_Cox_honoured_at_Crystal__Lucy_Awards_June_2010__02june10.aspx

This is not Nicole Kidman with black hair. It is in fact Courteney Cox, at the Crystal + Lucy Awards last night where she was honoured for her work on television. Courteney arrived with her husband David Arquette and an ever tightening face. Not as alarming, no, as Nicole Kidman Granny Freeze’s, especially since Cox’s Third Lip protrusion was kept to a minimum, but with many similarities nonetheless, particularly something around the eyes and cheeks, and made even more obvious when she’s posing next to Vanessa Hudgens who is 24 years – a quarter of a century! – her junior and they look practically the same.

What?

Oh right.

It’s all Kinerase. Cox is the spokesperson.

David’s presence at Courteney’s side last night flies in the face of recent reports, courtesy Star Magazine, that Courteney is having an affair with her Cougartown co-star Brian Van Holt. A tryst with a co-star? Never. An understanding with her husband? Of course not. History repeats itself, a different show, the same behaviour? Rdiculous.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010 at 8:14 AM

Text Harassment

"Text Harassment" revealed again

"The Belle from Hell" revealed again

http://www.laineygossip.com/Courteney_Cox_loses_at_Golden_Globes_2010_18jan10.aspx

Seems impossible but Third Lip Nicole Kidman seemed downright demure in size and paralysis next to Courteney Cox’s. Did you watch any of CC’s interviews on the carpet? That sh-t is rigid. And it makes for the strangest effect when she speaks. Like she’s trying to push it out the way. Like there’s a slab of ice sitting on top of her mouth preventing her from proper pronunciation.

It’s quite an accomplishment to out-Third Lip the Granny Freeze. But somehow Courteney Cox, she found a way. This served her well when she lost out to Toni Collette for Best Actress Comedy. Because according to many experts, it was hers for the taking. Which is why she looked like she wanted to strangle a bitch when she realised she lost. You would not have wanted to be one of her staff members last night. Then again, if you’ve been reading long enough, you already know that.

Monday, January 18, 2010 at 7:08 AM

"The Belle from Hell" revealed again

"His and Her Anorexia," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_03mar09.aspx

PS. Ellen and Portia are not not eating. Good one! Also not the Arquettes or Kevin and Kyra.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

"His and Her Anorexia," it's not...

Cabo

http://www.laineygossip.com/Cabo_blind_iten_and_George_Clooney_in_Washington_after_holidays_with_Cindy_Crawford_and_Rande_Gerber.aspx

Much as I wish I had access to his schedule, I’ve no idea what George Clooney is doing in Washington. The inauguration is still a week away. Perhaps more lobbying? Whatever the reason, he arrived there today all smiles, looking fit and vibrant and full of charisma as usual and as enjoyable as the Globes were on Sunday, there would have been an added element of A list had he been there, non?

George however has said he has a policy. He doesn’t go unless he’s nominated, or unless he’s the incumbent ready to pass on the crown.

He spent the holidays in Cabo with Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber and there was no word of his usual paid shenanigans, of the entertainment variety, but there are those who are convinced that the reason Cindy ever tolerated Rande’s alleged philandering is because she negotiated a pass with his BFF. There’s never been any slamdunk evidence to support this but while those sorts of arrangements would shock the suburbs, in Hollywood it’s par for the course.

*******************************************************************************

In fact, it’s the only way one long standing celebrity marriage is able to survive even though she would have you believe that it’s a commitment to therapy and communication. A cheat for a cheat. It works for them. For reference and association purposes, we’ll call this one Cabo.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009 at 4:59 PM

Cabo

"The Belle from Hell" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleDetail.aspx?ID=2274

Courteney Cox isn’t friendly?

Shocker of all shockers! Sources on the set of her new movie filming in Toronto are reporting that Courteney is actually the opposite of warm and fuzzy. “Borderline rude” is how it was described to me. You know how you always hear about certain stars who are so sweet to their co-workers, the crew, everyone involved? Renee Zellweger comes to mind. By all accounts, one of the nicest, most professional superstars in the world. Sandra Bullock also has the same reputation. Courteney on the other hand can be surrounded by a room full of people and still won’t be bothered to acknowledge anyone around her. Lovely, isn’t it? Another Hollywood illusion blown to pieces. No wonder she and Jen are such great friends. Frauds of a feather flock together…

Monday, August 29, 2005

"The Belle from Hell" clue

"The Belle from Hell" revealed

http://www.laineygossip.com/Lynda_Carter_looks_younger_than_Courteney_Cox.aspx

It’s Wonder Woman!

Lynda Carter showed up at the launch of some video game yesterday. A lot of stars actually showed up for the launch of that video game. Video gaming is a lucrative business these days…perhaps even more than movie making.

Sorry, I digress.

Wonder Woman used to be my life. My mother used to wear her hair like Wonder Woman. She’s always had great hair. After she moved out, I used to watch it and imagine my mom was doing the same – out there saving the world. Or yelling at someone really loudly. She left some of her clothes behind and I remember sticking my little feet into her heels and hobbling around like a grown up, wondering why Wonder Woman was allowed to wear her underwear outside…

Lynda Carter is well into her fifties now. But here she is, posing with one time Botox Courteney Cox, and looking just as young, if not younger. And DEFINITELY younger than Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman.

But Courteney looks ghastly, non?

What’s the point of working your tits off at the gym and staying away from fries when your face precludes anyone from looking down anyway? Or maybe it’s a case of Karma Face. This belle is a beast. And now she’s showing it on the outside.

Friday, October 17, 2008 at 10:00 AM

"The Belle from Hell" revealed

"Anger Management," it's not...

Friday, September 05, 2008

PPS. Anger Management is not Courteney Cox. Not that she’s particularly kind to the little people but her bitch manifests itself less violently.

Anger Management

"Anger Management," it's not...

"Unpaid Bills," it's not...

Tuesday, August 05, 2008
PS. Courteney Cox can pay her bills.

"Unpaid Bills," it's not...

"A Bitch to Work For," it's not

Thursday, April 24, 2008

PS. Victoria Beckham isn’t the bitch to work for. Also not Kimora. Too obvious. And not Rachael Ray. Who cares??? And this time it isn’t Courteney Cox, though that’s not to say she doesn’t have staffing issues of her own.

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jennifer_Lopez_to_star_in_reality_tv_show_for_TLC.aspx

"A Bitch to Work For," it's not

"Why She's So Cranky" guess

http://www.laineygossip.com/Dinner_on_Jen.aspx

Jennifer Aniston has completed work on the set of Travelling in Vancouver. As the production does not officially end for another 3 weeks, Jen will be missing the traditional wrap party with cast and crew.

Instead, on Saturday, my sources say she treated everyone, including Aaron Eckhart and the film’s director, to dinner at the Teahouse in Stanley Park – a lovely gesture. Heavily guarded on the way in and on the way out, Jen was apparently in great spirits and very much looking forward to returning home to LA for some time in the sun before shooting her next film Marley & Me (sob!) with Owen Wilson.

As for reports she’s been receiving flowers every day – not true, at least not in Vancouver. She plays a florist in the film… this is why, naturally, she’s been photographed with bouquets and arrangements. There is however persistent buzz about Jason Lewis, even though they’ve never been photographed together, even though it’s all been only rumour and speculation (our sustenance) so far, still the tipsters are always on the alert for his whereabouts. My smutty sense tingling… will keep you posted.

Meanwhile, all of Hollywood is bracing for the Showdown this Saturday: the annual NIght Before Oscar party. As I first reported back in January, Aniston, Pitt, and Jolie have all been listed as hosts on the invitation. Am told that Jennifer is “100% committed” and it remains to be seen whether or not Brad and Angelina will meet the challenge, though if they don’t, it will be widely interpreted as a fold. Am hoping the three of them will just put this triangle to rest already, once and for all.

That way, maybe Life & Style will go out of business…

And if Jen really does go heads up against the Pitts, at least she will have back-up. Here are Jen’s BFF’s Courteney Cox and David Arquette out for dinner the other night patiently waiting for her return. CC looks freshly “done” around the eyes, non?

Monday, February 18, 2008

"Why She's So Cranky" guess

"Abusing the help," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Courtney_Cox_Arquette_From_Stella_V_Courteney_Cox_abuses_the_help.aspx

Abusing the help, I’m guessing Courtney Cox Arquette (I have no support for this, just a hunch)

Dear Stella:

Courteney is not the belle in question. Mrs. Arquette is actually a clean freak and she'd never contaminate her house the way dirty girl does.

Friday, January 20, 2006

"Abusing the help," it's not...

"Text Harassment" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Prince_Harry_Courtney_Cox_Arquette_Kimberly_Stewart_The_Daily_Defense_Courteney_and_David.aspx


Amid reports of marital unrest, Courteney Cox and David Arquette have released a statement to Us Weekly, assuring the MiniVan Majority that all is well between them. The sanctity of their union had been questioned by low ranking tabloids Star and Life & Style, both reporting that Courteney’s relationship with Dirt co-star Josh Stewart was a source of strife.

And when you think about it - why would any relationship, electronic or otherwise, with a colleague put a dent into the solid foundation these two have built? Marriage after all is about understanding boundaries. When two people mutually agree to an accepted code of behaviour, their bond can only grow stronger.

As such, I totally believe them when they say that “There is not a shred of truth to the rumors about the state of their marriage. They are happily married and like most married couples, they have some separate friendships and interests.”

It’s not after all the stability of their commitment but the intriguing freedoms that hold that commitment together…do you smell what I smell?

And yes, your smutty sense should be tingling.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Text Harassment

"Text Harassment" reveal

"The Belle From Hell" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jennifer_Aniston_Lake_Bell_Worst_Friend_of_Jennifer_Aniston_Courteney_Cox.aspx

No matter which way you slice it, this dress sucks donkey ass.

ASS.

All of it is ass - the fabric, the way it cuts off her arms, her makeup…all of it is ass.

Southern. Belle. Ass.

But curiously enough, those are also some very healthy looking breasts. Like expectant breasts. Shall we start a new rumour? Is Courteney Cox pregnant again?

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Belle From Hell

"The Belle From Hell" reveal

Text Harassment

http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleDetail.aspx?ID=5713

Happily married comes in all shapes and sizes. By conventional definition, both spouses are faithful, both spouses expect fidelity, and when all goes to plan, both spouses adhere to the gameplan…happily ever after.

There are however some couples who can make it work by a different playbook – typically called an Open Marriage when one or the other or both can explore outside the marital bed boundaries but remain committed spiritually, emotionally, and most importantly…financially.

Such is the case with Her and her Famous But-not-as-Famous Husband.

On the heels of a career rejuvenation of sorts, partners now both on and off screen, a true family at last, our A-list wife is experiencing a sexual awakening not entirely satisfied by her spouse. Instead, she has set her sights on a number of periphery players, most recently an employee of sorts – the only problem is that the employee is engaged and, truth be told so he says, isn’t really interested in stepping out on his bride-to-be with his Actress Boss…but isn’t that the definition of sexual harassment in the workplace?

Unfortunately, the Actress Boss isn’t taking no for an answer and much to his Fiancee’s horror, Actress Boss has taken to texting the object of her desire repeatedly – texts so explicit and so detailed and so full on horny and actually so really, really hot, regular readers of Hustler would have a hard time not blushing. And the worst part? The Fiancee, poor girl, found them. She read them, she hit the roof, she wants to call off the wedding but he keeps pleading innocence and harassment.

At the start of what might be a promising career, saying NO could jeopardize his future – at least that’s his excuse. Oh yeah – and he also says the Actress Boss could just be “method acting” – deliberately crossing the line to bring out a more authentic performance which sounds to me like a dude who wants to keep his job and his pecker inside his job.

Lame joke yes…but couldn’t resist. Please forgive?

And it’s not Anne Heche.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Update (10/12/10):
denial 1: Anne Heche
denial 2: Jennifer Lopez & Demi Moore
denial 3: Julia Roberts & Jada Pinkett Smith
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3

The bitchery of Courteney Cox continued
The Belle from Hell

Text Harassment

"Secrets from the BFF," it's not... (reveal)

Tuesday, October 30, 2007
PPS. It’s not Courteney Cox who's backstabbing Jennifer Aniston.

Secrets from the BFF

"Secrets from the BFF," it's not... (reveal)

The Belle from Hell

http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleDetail.aspx?ID=4166

Now here's a bitch who needs a slap to Sunday.

Sure, she's rich. But in a town that only celebrates your recent success, what gives her the right to throw her sh*t around? Especially when the glory decade has long since wrapped?

A while back, when she had reason to self celebrate, she came home to inform her hardworking personal chef that she had invited several guests over for dinner. With only just a few hours lead, the employee was required to whip up something elegant and delicious, something she accomplished in spades. Hoping for a word of encouragement or at least an expression of gratitude, the unfortunate minion greeted her boss the next day, asking her how things went, how she was feeling. And this is what she got in return:

'I really wish you wouldn't talk to me', followed by heavy footsteps out of the kitchen.

Nice.

Cut to present day, and apparently the assy manners are still in tact.

She's scheduled for a promotional product appearance and a driver is sent to pick her up. She gets in the car, he gets her settled, and politely asks her how she's finding everything, if she's comfortable, how she's enjoying the weather. And you know what she said?

'What gives you the idea that I want you to talk to me'. Cue very loud exhale and the silent treatment the rest of the way.

Now I know this shouldn't be shocking considering the clientele we're dealing with but when you're brought up to exude charm and grace, how is this anywhere near acceptable? And you wonder why snarky celebrity gossip blogs are popping up all over the place???

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Update (10/12/10):
clue
denial 1: Julia Roberts, Kim Basinger, Sarah Ferguson & Ashley Judd
denial 2: Sarah Jessica Parker, Meg Ryan & Catherine Zeta Jones
denial 3: Farrah Fawcett, Suzanne Sommers, Andie McDowell, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sharon Stone, Calista Flockhart, Brooke Shields
denial 4: Heather Locklear
denial 5: Sarah Michelle Gellar
denial 6: Kelly Preston
reveal 1
reveal 2

reveal 3
reveal 4

The bitchery of Courteney Cox continued
Text Harassment

The Belle from Hell