"He likes them big & buff" reveal 1


E! News is reporting that Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse have broken up although they made sure to note that it might not be a permanent split. Suki accompanied Coop to the Oscars just a few weeks ago. And he’s moving to London for a while when The Elephant Man opens there. So it’s not like they wouldn’t have had opportunity to be together.

But he just turned 40. And she’s 23. And they’ve been together, what?, like two years? This is the way it’s supposed to be, really. In real life, at that age, this is usually when it ends. Or when it should end, if I’m the one giving the advice. For her, there’s so much time. And there are so many more times you can fall in love. For him, well, it’s not like Leonardo DiCaprio wouldn’t approve of this decision. And, like Leonardo DiCaprio, there are so many options out there in the desert, waiting to be picked up.

March 19, 2015 at 2:34 PM

He likes them big & buff


"Big super secret hookup" reveal 4



Eva Longoria put out a press release a few weeks ago to let us know that she had a new boyfriend, Ernesto Arguello. Us? Or him? George Clooney, obviously. Even though she claims there was nothing happening. Was there nothing happening because there was really nothing, or was it because she pushed him too hard?

So then the paps shot Eva and Ernesto all over the place, on holiday in Europe, house-hunting in LA, while George wasn’t paying attention, preferring to hang out in Como with his boys before going to work on Tomorrowland in British Columbia.

To no one’s surprise, according to TMZ, Eva and Ernesto broke up. But they might get back together. It depends on their schedules. Or whether or not she gets an invitation to the Venice Film Festival.


August 23, 2013 at 8:53 AM

Big super secret hookup


This could have been Como

After publicly announcing their relationship, like, 3 weeks ago, Eva Longoria and her new boyfriend Ernesto Arguello went house-hunting in West Hollywood yesterday. Oh please. It’s a pathetic consolation prize for summertime at Lake Como. But after all that’s gone down, this is what she has left after US Weekly’s report last week that George Clooney tried to hook up with Eva when he was still with Stacy but she turned him down because Eva Longoria is honourable and classy like that. Eva protested on Twitter that it was all lies, and George had his publicist do the same…which…I mean…when George doesn’t want you to believe something, he will go out of his way to make sure you don’t believe it. You know who loses in that situation? Not us. After all, we weren’t the ones who were so close to making it a reality. One bad move is all it takes to turn George away.

So maybe it’s a last ditch effort to get him to notice. Like, look George, HEY OVER HERE! OVER HERE! I’m moving in with him! She may as well be jumping up and down, a girl on the side of the highway lifting her top up to get a ride.

Will it work?

George has Venice and Toronto and award season coming up. He does enjoy having a companion by his side on these occasions. Normally though, his companions are a lot less trouble.

July 25, 2013 at 8:19 AM

Big super secret hookup


She says they didn’t hook up

US Weekly reported yesterday that George Clooney tried to get in there with Eva Longoria, even though he was with Stacy Keibler at the time. They were both in Berlin in March and while there was some flirtation, the magazine claims that Eva wasn’t down with doing it behind Stacy Keibler’s back and told him she wouldn’t reciprocate until he was officially single. Sure. Click here for a refresher.

In response to US Weekly’s story, Eva posted this message on Twitter, basically denying that there was ever anything between her and George because they’ve been “friends for years”:

Before Wednesday, when, you know, you may have, um, seen something here, would you have ever, ever, EVER put Eva Longoria and George Clooney together? Did you suspect anything? Please. No one suspected anything. Even when they were both photographed separately in Berlin, no one thought anything of it. If anything, it would be a former “dancer”. Some random, no name model. A girl who used to be a in a beer commercial. And if that were the case, you’d nod your head, uh huh, that sounds about right.

But Eva Longoria?

You don’t just come up with Eva Longoria. Otherwise, that f-cking STAR Magazine, and they come up with a lot of sh-t, would have done it already.

The point is…

If it didn’t happen, who would have ever tried to believe it happened? We’re only talking about it because, well, there’s something to talk about.

So what’s with the Twitter post? A scramble. Parading her new boyfriend around may have worked, but the rest of it only confirmed why she may have not been the right candidate for the vacancy in his life.

July 19, 2013 at 9:33 AM

Big super secret hookup


They did not hook up

Oh sweetheart, put the bottle down…

US Weekly just posted the most INTERESTING exclusive. Apparently George Clooney tried to get with Eva Longoria. Even though he was still with Stacy Keibler, he was all over it and kept telling Eva that he’d break up with Stacy Keibler to be with her. Eva happened to be in Berlin in March when George was there shooting The Monuments Men but you know what? According to US’s “source”, they did not hook up because she made it clear she wasn’t down with cheating.


EVA LONGORIA was putting conditions on GEORGE CLOONEY?

Sure, ok.

Let’s go with that.

We’ll go with the version of the story that has Eva choosing some other random dude from her reality show instead. That’s the one she jammed in our faces over at PEOPLE.com. And now, conveniently, George’s pursuit of Eva and Eva’s, ahem, honourable rejection of his advances is made public. Coincidence or conspiracy?

Here are Eva and George at the Critics’ Choice Awards in January. That was SIX MONTHS AGO, just in case you didn’t know how to count months on a calendar. Anyway, how would you Photo Assumption this shot?

Does it correspond to what US Weekly’s source is telling you about how it went down? Or does it tell a different story?

July 18, 2013 at 2:47 PM

Big super secret hookup


Dear Gossips,

Everyone’s announcing new relationships this week. Henry Cavill and Kaley Cuoco very much want you to know they’re dating now…by holding hands at the grocery store. And Eva Longoria confirmed to PEOPLE exclusively that she has a new boyfriend called Ernesto. She issued a statement to the magazine about how their friendship turned into romance and then hilariously, “a source close to the couple” revealed that:

“Eva and Ernesto are a perfect match. They both speak Spanish, have the same religion and the same cultural background."

Is it really necessary to pretend to be a source when you’ve just personally opened up your love life to 4 million subscribers?

Breakfast at Wimbledon on Sunday. England, I hope it’s the final you’ve been waiting for.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,


July 5, 2013 at 7:48 AM

Big super secret hookup


Mary-Kate Olsen is dating Olivier Sarkozy. She’s 26, he’s 42. Here they are in New York the other day with his daughter, a manifestation of the new modern family. Many of you are huffing about her smoking around the kid. I won’t get in the way of that except to say that Miss Sarkozy, given that her father runs in circles where meeting MK Olsen would even be possible, was probably already contaminated before MK entered her life. But by all means, please continue sh-tting on her. And I’ll be over here addressing the issue of walking and smoking. I’ve been known to walk and smoke on occasion. Once my ma the Chinese Squawking Chicken saw me walking and smoking and I heard about it for a week and this was before she quit. Because it’s impossible to walk and smoke without looking super low-classy, isn’t it? Yes, yes, of course, smoking is low-class period, obviously. But the act of walking and smoking is undeniably one of the basest visuals, unfairly worse for women. Look at her here. There’s nothing refined about this - it’s coarse, it’s crude, and it’s impossible to elevate.

As for their compatibility, MK and Olivier, I mean it’s all in line with MK’s life aesthetic isn’t it? She skulks around in black high fashion clothes, aiming for Esoteric like it’s a test score. Because Mary-Kate Olsen can find beauty in the ugly, didn’t you know? Her eye is never centre, her vision is never a straight line, her artistic sensibility cannot be mapped or graphed because it exists on several planes. Is the girl who exclusively loves weird for the sake of loving weird truly that original?

PS. Have you ever seen a man feel better about his very far back hairline?

June 20, 2012 at 10:50

Oxy Love


Selena Gomez went to rehab

And the streak continues…

One after another, child star rehab. The latest: Selena Gomez. Her publicists have released a statement:

"Selena voluntarily spent time at Meadows but not for substance abuse."

According to TMZ though, “it was a combination of problems, including alcohol, pot and prescription Ambien”. Also…Justin Bieber. Being around him was a bad influence. It was a lifestyle that she wanted to stop. Which is why she cancelled her tour through Australia and Asia and went to get help.

Apparently Selena was in for two weeks. She’s now receiving out-patient treatment. But there was a brief reconciliation with JB some time in the new year, right before the egging incident. Habits are hard to break.

Look, I’m all over blaming JB. And, certainly, being around him can’t have helped. But this is more than a sh-tty boyfriend. This is fame in childhood. And working adult hours with adult expectations and making adult money and being the adult for your family, supporting your family, when you are still trying to figure yourself out.

I sound repetitive, I know. But the trend is right there. And still it keeps happening. It will keep happening. Because for some reason, people keep ignoring the giant f-cking HAZARD sign in front of child stardom.

Are there exceptions? Certainly there are exceptions, exceptions with common characteristics. Like Beyonce and Justin Timberlake. What do they have in common? When Beyonce and Justin Timberlake started out, they were part of a group. B may have meangirled her way through Destiny’s Child but being a member of an ensemble at the beginning had to have made a difference in those formative years of collective experience. The shock of fame was spread around, shared. Same goes for Justin Timberlake. Fascinating, right? Is there a better chance of avoiding f-ck ups when you start off not going solo? Or if you’re British?

If I were the Dean of the Faculty of Celebrity Studies at a liberal arts university somewhere in New England, we would be discussing this today.


February 5, 2014 at 10:15

Drinks on the plane


When Charlize is a bitch...

When she is her true self...

She’s awesome.

I’ll come back to this in a minute.

Oh look, another year went by and Victoria Beckham did not make the cover of US Vogue. Instead, the final issue belongs to Charlize Theron in service of her upcoming role in Jason Reitman’s Young Adult, due out in December, for which she has an outside shot at another Oscar nomination.

What a strong, strong year for lead actresses. There are 7 who could easily be considered without any objection:

Viola Davis
Glenn Close
Meryl Streep
Elizabeth Olsen
Michelle Williams
Charlize Theron
Tilda Swinton

And that doesn’t even include Keira Knightley, Kate Winslet, Kirsten Dunst, Kristen Wiig, and Jodie Foster in the equation, and they’re on the outskirts too.

As for Charlize, well, if you believe all the people who are supposed to say good things about her, and they’re all quoted in the Vogue article, she gives an astonishing bitch of a performance in Young Adult that should rank as one of her career best. Seems like Charlize is going bitch rather often these days. As Sarah noted in her post about the Snow White and the Huntsman trailer the other day, it’s Charlize’s deliciously Evil Queen that is the centrepiece of the film. She’s awesome. Because, frankly, that’s what she is. A mega, mega, mega bitch. Trust me, I’ve seen it. My colleagues have seen it. Like, it’s breathtaking what a f-cking bitch she is, even in an industry full of crazy ass goddamn bitches. And then there’s Charlize. Few can step to Charlize. Except Julia Roberts. So it’s brilliant casting then that both will play the Evil Queen next year just three months apart.

And this Vogue article?

Doesn’t offer anything terribly insightful - she was sad about the end of her relationship and tried really hard to make it work, duh - mostly because you can’t really get any insight when you’re writing with a massive erection. So, you know, she’s super cool and makes an awesome mix tape, and is really beautiful, and isn’t a Hollywood fraud.

Dude, she played Rita in Arrested Development. You couldn’t at least go there?

OK! Night night!


November 14, 2011 at 2:35 PM

The Loyal Customer


Festival Douche

Almost everyone is on their best behaviour at a film festival. Not only because the international media lurks around every corner but also because one of the main objectives at a film festival, especially for smaller budget projects, is to buy and sell.

Such is the case for Battle in Seattle, Stuart Townsend’s directorial debut – the passion project on which he has toiled for 5 years.

Stuart is gorgeous. Unbelievably sexy. With terrific style. And sooooo nice. SO nice. The movie was screened on Saturday and was apparently well received which is why Stuart was so chuffed when he arrived at the Battle in Seattle afterparty that afternoon.

After so long, after the blood, sweat, and tears, it must have been an extremely validating moment. And he was happy to share it. He was wearing a black suit, perfectly tailored, short hair, beautiful eyes, and told me he couldn’t wait to finally have a drink to chill out and enjoy the moment. Smiling from ear to ear, Stuart also said that he loved working with Charlize, joked that he did take perverse pleasure out of bossing her around for the duration of the shoot.

I adored him. He is delightful. Which is why it is such a mystery why he’s been with someone so miserable and so full of her own sh-t for so long. I don’t get it.

Charlize came to “support” Stuart. She was in Toronto for 2 days and left back to NYC to resume shooting with Will Smith. Here they are on the set of John Hancock yesterday. On Saturday she attended the George Christie lunch, walked down the red carpet flanked by 4 massive bodyguards shielding her body from photographers refusing to stop.

Let me repeat.

There was a red carpet. The carpet was there so event organisers could invite press. She walked the red carpet. She did not go in the back door, she did not slip in through the kitchen. She chose to walk the carpet. And she chose to make a huge f*cking production out of not wanting to be photographed.

Everywhere she went she refused to be photographed. And she refused to talk on the carpets as well, refused interviews, even at the premiere and especially not at the after party. Word is she is fiercely guarded by a publicist, and even when a festival staffer approaches her to verify something, even when another publicist at an event comes over to ask after her, Charlize will supposedly stare at the person, look blankly ahead, and wait for her personal publicist to answer.

So why come, bitch? Why show up at all? Who is good enough to talk to you???

The point of showing it here in Toronto was to generate buzz for her boyfriend’s movie. And as much as I love Stuart, his name alone is not going to carry the sale. Right now, they’re looking for a US distributor. And attaching that sales pitch to an Oscar winner is the way the game works.

If you want to sell, you get out there and you pound it. You drive it home. You do what Matt Damon does and what George Clooney does and you shake every hand and smile for every photo, preferably with the movie’s poster in the background.

If this movie is what Stuart said it was – a project he was devoted to for half a decade, a movie about corporate greed, a movie intended to promote discussion and raise awareness – you get out there and you work it even harder than you would a blockbuster. You work it for HIM. You do what you can to make sure his efforts can be shared with as many people as possible.

But Charlize Theron is above that. Charlize is so special she can sell without talking, Charlize doesn’t need to make the effort. The same Charlize whose big break came in the illustrious Two Days in the Valley, showing off every inch of her beautiful body and her lovely tits, remember that? But one Oscar changes everyone, doesn’t it?

Seriously bitch… who do you think you are? Even George Clooney has to make the effort.

I’m telling you – Charlize Theron is a cow. She thinks she’s an “artist” but she’s a cow. A gorgeous, gorgeous cow but a cow nonetheless.

Douche. If she won"t promote it, maybe we should?
Click here for footage of Battle in Seattle

September 10, 2007 at 6:00 PM

The Loyal Customer