"Thin For Nothing" reveal 2

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24088/As-IF-Ashley-Greene-is-taking-over-Kristen-Stewart

Need some comic relief this Monday morning? You can thank Ashley Greene for it. This item appeared in the NY Post yesterday. I’ve decided to include the entire article for maximum amusement:


Greene is really about to be the color of money.
For the past four years, “Twilight” siren Kristen Stewart needed a garlic necklace of her own to avoid the immense amount of press requests and fashion houses longing to pin her face to their hot campaigns.
Now the quiet bloodsucker in the background, Ashley Greene, is getting top billing. She’s currently gracing the cover of Cosmopolitan’s “Hot Issue” after landing on the front of Lucky, Women’s Health and a handful of other titles.
“[Stewart] is no longer the poster girl for ‘Twilight.’ The industry has fallen in love with Greene, who is being hunted down by producers for several upcoming roles,” an insider says.
Greene is about to really cash in with three new films including the much-buzzed “CBGB,” on the New York punk scene and the venerable club.
Execs at major fashion houses are drooling over her upcoming fall DKNY Jeans campaign.
“Prada is one of many ready to pony up far more than the standard $20 million payday to land [Greene],” our source said. And all this before the last installment of "Twilight" hits theaters in mid-November.--

Joseph Barracato was the poor writer assigned to that story. I wonder if he didn’t have to self-medicate to get through it. For the entertainment reporter there are those days - and I know them well - when you have to fight the urge to say to your editor/producer “Please, God, no, do I have to?” Then you close your eyes and accept your fate. No one will remember, right? No one will blame me, right?

No, Joseph, we don’t blame you.

We blame no one.

Because this sh-t, this sh-t is FUNNY.

Ashley Greene is about to dethrone Kristen Stewart??? The same Kristen Stewart who just won the box office this summer with a non-Twilight film and is about to claim yet another mega money franchise all while somehow maintaining her small movie credibility - that Kristen Stewart? Kristen Stewart can get any meeting she wants to in Hollywood, no problem. Ashley Greene couldn’t f-ck her way into most meetings, let alone the kind of meetings Stewart takes, and does, but only discriminately. Kristen Stewart doesn’t have to stop eating.

I know there are those of you who aren’t enamoured with Stewart. Fine. I get that. But like her or not, you are also not an idiot. You know that right now, by the Hollywood grading system, it doesn’t get higher than Kristen Stewart. She currently lives in the penthouse with Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence. No doubt you find both of them more agreeable.

In other words, this mentally unstable New York Post article is trying to tell you that Ashley Greene, a third tier Twilight cast member who “dated” a Jonas Vagina Virgin, is synonymous with Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashley Greene, bless her, she won’t stop trying. If she can’t stop embarrassing herself, why shouldn’t we continue to enjoy it?

Here she is at Comic-Con the other day dressed for a tea party. Am also throwing in some shots of her with that other loser Kellan Lutz because, well, no matter how hard they want to escape each other, this is where they’ll always exist - side by side, B+ max forever.

July 16, 2012 at 11:10

Thin For Nothing

"Thin For Nothing" reveal 2

"Thin For Nothing" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Category/1266/Details/23459/Ashley-Greene-thinnification-at-Met-Gala-2012

Met Gala Thinnification: Ashley Greene

She’s wearing white Donna Karan. Basically a wedding dress. You’ve seen it a thousand times. What’s new here, or new-ish, at least since last year’s Met Gala, is Ashley Greene’s thinnification. Ashley Greene was always fit. She had a great body. Slim but strong and seemingly healthy.

Somewhere along the way though, as they do in Hollywood, someone must have told her she was “too athletic”, and “not delicate enough”. She’s not the first. To oblige. They are all so desperate for more. And this is the result. The saddest part is it won’t make a difference. Twenty pounds won’t make her Anne Hathaway. Ashley Greene will never be Anne Hathaway. She’ll never even be Jessica Biel.

May 8, 2012 at 8:16 AM 

Thin For Nothing

"Thin For Nothing" reveal

"Thin For Nothing" clue 2

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/23343/Smutty-Tingles-for-April-26--2012 

The ongoing thinnification of Ashley Greene (Popoholic)

April 26, 2012 at 3:00 PM

Thin For Nothing

"Thin For Nothing" clue 2

"Thin For Nothing" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Category/1005/Details/15171/Kellan-Lutz-rejected-from-New-Moon-afterparty-and-Ashley-Greene-a-nobody-in-New-York

Second tier no-names

Twilight is a huge franchise. But only Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and maybe Taylor Lautner are now household names. The actors on the second tier are still greeted with a very loud WHO?

Such was the case with Kellan Lutz the other night at the LA New Moon premiere afterparty when he was rejected at the door because they didn’t know him from a Kardashian. Lutz and his massive vain ego did not take kindly to the slight. He lipped off security but still had to enlist the help of the crowd chanting “Let him in” before he could gain access. Ohhhh…shame….

Lutz admitted to the incident on Ellen yesterday but only after telling a story about some man who fangirled him at a spa while he was naked. That’s a dude who should never leave his house again. He was also probably wearing Ed Hardy.

And then there’s Ashley Greene. After trying to upstage Kristen Stewart by dressing like Susan Lucci at the LA premiere on Monday, Greene was in NYC last night and somehow scored herself an invitation to the Tim Burton event at MoMA with Johnny Depp in attendance. Am told by several photogs and a reader called CS who was there that Ashley walked right past the line and… they didn’t know her name. So eventually the paps were all like – oh yeah, you, Twilight girl, let’s take your picture. Then she posed. Like hard posed. Like Posh hard posing.

Too hungry, too desperate. Like that Annalynne McCord without the bent over kissy blows.

November 18, 2009 at 1:34 AM

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/21590/As-IF-Ashley-Greene-in-Allure

There’s a new Twilight movie coming out in a month. Just today I received an email from a friend about it (Relax, I’m not outing you, you can read the rest of the article without panicking) and she was wondering if she should go to see it at one of those theatres that will play all 3 preceding movies before the new one. That way it’s 8 hours of Robert Pattinson all at once. I have not replied.

Anyway, in advance of the upcoming hysteria, the faces of the franchise are appearing all over the magazines. This includes the third tier players. Like Ashley Greene who is on the cover of the November issue of Allure...because Kristen Stewart was already committed to something better.

What?

You think Allure would have chosen Ashley Greene over Kristen Stewart? If you said yes, you are wrong.

Anyway, being on the cover of Allure has now given Ashley Greene a major case of the delusions and that gives us the opportunity to As IF her into Supporting Actress Eternity. For some, this is an honour. For her, it’s called Hell. Because in Ashley Greene’s mind, Ashley Greene is a Lead.

During her interview with Allure, Greene posits that she never wanted this kind of attention. That all she wants to do, for real, is to act:


"(Fame is) a double-edged sword. It's amazing to be known, and it's great that there is this audience that wants to know about me. But I'm like, 'I'm going to be known for coming out of the gym rather than [for] what film I have coming out.'"

As IF Ashley Greene has ever made any film that’s worth knowing for when it’s coming out. Take away the number of times she appears on blogs in her gym clothes - As IF people walk around saying to themselves, “Oh that Ashley Greene, I can’t wait to see her in that movie about the girl who marries the vampire”.

Have you EVER heard Twilight referred to as the Ashley Greene Movie?

As for her Twilight co-stars, now, suddenly, Ashley Greene’s on the same level as Robert Pattinson:


"Rob. Oh, Rob. He's very endearing, but you've seen his interviews. He's like, 'Ah, I don't know.... Oh, God,'" Greene bumbles in imitation. Despite poking a little fun at him, she credits Pattinson (she calls him a "phenomenal actor") and the rest of the actors for helping her cope with sudden fame. "All of us essentially were unknown. So everyone kind of went through this crazy whirlwind [together],'" Greene says. "It was really nice to be able to confide in people who were going through the exact same thing."

The same thing? Ashley Greene is the same as Pattinson and Kristen Stewart?

As IF Anna Wintour knows Ashley Greene. As IF Graydon Carter knows Ashley Greene. Ashley Greene could pass Anna Wintour in a restaurant and Anna would ask her for a clean fork!

The same thing?

As IF Kristen Stewart had to date the MIDDLE VAGINA JONAS VIRGIN to get some play, and even then no one cared!

The same way no one cares about Greene’s friendship with Seth McFarlane:


"Seth and I are friends, and he texts me: 'I didn't know that not only were we dating, but we have since been confirmed to not be dating,'" Greene says. "I can assure you that we're not."

Um, I spend my whole day reading gossip headlines. NEVER have I read a gossip headline about Seth McFarlane and Ashley Greene. As IF she didn’t try to create it though.

And As IF she’s Angelina f-cking Jolie!!!


"I'm really happy that she’s doing well," she says of Demi Lovato. The actress also rolls her eyes at the rumor that they fought over Jonas. "She and I never had a problem with each other," Greene says. "But, you know, it doesn't go away.... Jen Aniston still gets asked about Angelina Jolie."

As IF she didn’t just compare her pathetic little non-story to the Greatest Gossip Triangle in the Modern Gossip Era!

As IF she didn’t just give herself the Jolie position in her weak ass attempt to create for herself a triangle situation!

As IF she didn’t just liken JOE JONAS to BRAD PITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is an emergency. It’s a crisis state. When people like Ashley Greene can go off talking about themselves like this and remain unchecked, we are officially in the sh-ts. Occupy Hollywood!
Click here to see more of Ashley Greene in Allure.

October 18, 2011 at 11:59

Thin For Nothing

"Thin For Nothing" clue

Thin For Nothing

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/22739/Thin-For-Nothing-blind-riddle

Lower tier actress - you know her name - is desperate for a big(ger) break. When she heard The Director was working on a new blockbuster, she begged and begged for a meeting. And he repeatedly kept dicking her around, cancelling at the last minute, making her wait for a couple of hours before sending the assistant  out to tell her he wasn’t showing. I mean, he’s a legendary misogynist. And there’s nothing he likes more than playing mind games with young actresses.

Though he has no intention of putting her in his movies, he’s having a great time f-cking up her head. So he sent word that he might agree to see her but only if she loses some weight. This girl was fit to begin with. Like really fit. So she’s starving herself to let go of an extra 10, even though there’s not much there to begin with. But it’s not like it would help. Again, he’s just doing this because he can, for sh-ts and giggles, because he’s a twisted f-ck. As he explained to a colleague, “That girl is regular person pretty, and not even really regular person pretty. Definitely not hot enough for one of my movies.” And it’s like he’s almost insulted that she thought she was. Which is why this game, this game is just his way of putting her in her place, of punishing her for actually thinking she’d be good enough, sexy enough, to be his new model muse. He justifies it by saying he’s giving her a “life lesson”. Oh, and “if she offers me a blowjob, I’ll take it. One of these days, maybe I’ll throw her a favour”. Sad part is...she’s coming close to it. She’s coming very close.

February 21, 2012 at 9:44 AM

Update (7/24/12):

denial 1: Kate Upton
clue 1
clue 2
reveal 1
reveal 2

Thin For Nothing

"How he lost it," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_02nov10.aspx

[Comment From Molly ]
blind: joe jonas and ashley greene?

Lainey: Molly - no

Tuesday, November 02, 2010 at 11:56 AM

How he lost it

"How he lost it," it's not...