A bag for silence


A known randy man, celebrated lothario, international party animal, and now an actor who’s supposed to be in a serious relationship …but before that happened he got a lot of action. The right thing to do when you have herpes is to disclose the information before the sex happens. Which, credit to him, he did in one case that I know of. But when you’re a celebrity you have to make sure your former partners keep your secrets. So he generously sends her a designer bag (Chanel is preferred) every month keep it locked down.

June 23, 2016 at 12:58


"I guess she’s into skeeves?" reveal 2


Amanda Seyfried & Thomas Sadoski: voting official

Speaking of Dominic Cooper…

Remember when Dominic Cooper and Amanda Seyfried were a thing? No? Mamma Mia?

She was pretty candid then about why they broke up. Apparently she found out he was still seeing another girl even though she thought they were together:

"I got my heart broken pretty hard. I was just kind of foolishly thinking that the two of them were done and Dom and I were involved."

Umm… how…ironic? Is that ironic?

Joanna wrote the other day about Amanda Seyfried and Thomas Sadoski going social media official. Yesterday they were papped holding hands after voting, evidently more and more comfortable with being known publicly as a couple, because people will have, by now, forgotten about the timing. Or didn’t stop to care about the timing. This time.

June 8, 2016 at 9:55 AM

I guess she's into skeeves?


"Breakup and Tune-up" reveal


Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons worked together on Fargo. If you don’t know him, it means you haven’t watched Friday Night Lights. And if you haven’t watched Friday Night Lights, it means you’ve been ignoring my nagging …for years. Which, OK, fair enough. But don’t let a piece of sh-t like me stand in the way of you appreciating one of the best television series of the last decade.

Jesse, of course, played Landry. The lead singer of Crucifictorius. And now…

Landry gets the girl!

He and Kirsten were together on the weekend. And at one point, the paps photographed them kissing. He kinda looks here like he could be related to Garrett Hedlund, doesn’t he? Anyway, since the end of FNL, it’s actually Jesse who’s had the most successful career. He’s, ahem, a smart guy. He works on prestige television projects. He works on prestige film projects. He works. And he works steadily. And I feel like his trajectory might be similar to that of, say, a Bryan Cranston (and, yes, he was on Breaking Bad too). He might not “break” out until he’s in his 40s but when he does, everyone will be like, oh yeah, that guy, I’ve been watching him for years.

May 31, 2016 at 9:02 AM

Breakup and Tune-up


"Breakup and Tune-up" clue


Kiki & Garrett are over

US Weekly broke the news yesterday that after four years together, Kirsten Dunst and Garrett Hedlund are over. Here they are at the Golden Globes at the beginning of the year. They seemed great together, then. And she’s been talking lately like it’s still great, mentioning recently in UK InStyle that “all I can say is it’s my longest relationship, so it’s working, right?!”

After US Weekly’s report, E! and PEOPLE both followed with confirmations of their own that the two are done. And it’s not just because they haven’t been photographed together for a while. The easy answer as to why, and probably what most magazines will end up attributing it to, is that she’s been talking like she wants to start a family and he wasn’t ready. So it’s lifestyle. But more than just that kind of lifestyle. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, and you’ve been, um, seeing it well, they started off with the same lifestyle. These days though, Garrett is super, super chill while Kiki prefers hers less smoke and more compounds.

Some sources have also observed that while they were happy, she always seemed more into it than he was. That for him, she wasn’t “the one” and that he may have always been waiting for another co-star who never looked at him the same way. How soon is too soon though to make suggestions? I have some. And we should start fresh.

April 13, 2016 at 7:14 AM

Breakup and Tune-up


She exited a long relationship not too long ago. While they were together, they definitely partied, but he preferred a more chill vibe while she was getting too into the pills. Which is why he claims they ended it. Turns out, around the time of her split, she went to rehab for a tune-up and is now sober and re-focusing on her work. Her work, recently, was rather high profile, a prestige assignment. But she was miserable in that environment, not only trying to avoid bad habits but, apparently, not getting along with her colleagues; supposedly they never wanted to hear her opinions.

Now that she’s clean, her perspective has changed too. So she’s going around telling people that the reason she’s not with him anymore is because he’s not stimulating enough intellectually even though she was so attracted to him. There were a lot of romantic gestures, like dedicating his art to her, but ultimately she’s revised their history to read that she left because she wants someone smarter.

May 26, 2016 at 2:01 PM

Update (5/31/16):


Multiple posts to address this situation…

As first reported by TMZ yesterday, after 15 months of marriage, Amber Heard filed for divorce earlier this week, just three days after Johnny Depp’s mother Betty Sue passed away. So, um, not exactly a conscious uncoupling then? After all this time, Amber’s finally good for something.

Apparently there’s no prenup. And Johnny’s worth a lot of cash money, estimated $400 million. Amber’s asking spousal support. He’s retained the services of Laura Wasser to deny her request – another reason this is looking ugly. And where’s that ugliness coming from?

According to TMZ Johnny’s late ma and his kids and his siblings can’t stand Amber. They think she’s an asshole. And supposedly Betty Sue believed Amber’s an opportunist, leveraging a relationship with Johnny for her career – not that it’s helped in any way. Which is probably why she hit the exit. But more on her motivations in the next post.

TMZ’s sources say that Amber cockblocked Betty Sue’s access to her son and that Johnny only saw his ma once after he and Amber got married. A few months ago, however, Johnny moved his ma into his home – likely because she was quite ill, considering she just died – and that’s when everything went beyond repair. OK but…if you’ve been reading my blog long enough, you kinda knew it would go down this way, non? Otherwise, why was he sleeping on the couch?

That riddle was posted last March. When Johnny was in Australia shooting Pirates. And Marilyn Manson was touring there. He crashed with Manson instead so that Amber couldn’t reach him. Shortly after, Johnny injured his hand on set and had to fly back to LA for surgery, remember that? At the time, they didn’t anticipate a major delay in production. But after a month, there were reports coming out of Australia that he wasn’t showing up for work, “missing” amid rumours that his marriage was already in trouble. And then the next day he and Amber arrive in Australia together, holding hands, making a big show of their togetherness, even as PEOPLE Magazine reported that they were leading “separate lives” – click here for a refresher on that.

By the way, that’s also when they brought the dogs over to Australia and the whole dog scandal went down. So. It’s been a f-cking year. Which is why this can’t be a surprise.

Let’s not call Amber the only asshole in this situation though. Johnny was with Vanessa Paradis for a long time. And towards the end, with Vanessa, it’s not like he was some kind of dream. When Johnny and Angelina Jolie were shooting The Tourist in Venice, all the tabloids could focus on was whether or not there were problems between Brange. Brange was actually fine. Ironically Johnny and Vanessa were the ones who were scrapping. Rumour has it she was done with all his bro-down boozing and rock-starring, not being present in their relationship, and he allegedly thought she was a nag. She wasn’t a nag. And, as it turns out, she’s a lot less dramatic than who he ended up leaving her for. Amber Heard may not go so quietly. More on Amber next..

May 26, 2016 at 9:37 AM

Why he's sleeping on the couch


"Two unfaithful wives" "Second wife" reveal


Gwyneth Paltrow posted this group photo on Instagram yesterday. As you can see, her children, Apple and Moses, are there. A few other people who look so familiar I just can’t place them right now but if you can, please tell me. Oh yeah, and Chris Martin, at the other end of the table, but that’s him. Definitely him.

Is Brad Falchuk the one taking the picture? Or was his divorce also a conscious uncoupling? Ahem.

It’s still fascinating to me. That now that they’re no longer together, only now is she including him in her social media posts.

Anyway, the food looks delicious and I’ve decided I need more white serving platters in every single shape I can find.

November 27, 2015 at 8:54 AM

Two unfaithful wives


"Warning Signs" reveal 3


Exactly a week ago, we were looking at pictures of Selena Gomez eating Orlando Bloom’s neck in a booth in Vegas. Apparently they also left together – but with friends. Click here for a refresher.

“Friends” is the operative word. And, after a couple of cryptic posts on Twitter, Katy Perry definitively chose the “friends” explanation and tweeted about conspiracy theories and not feeding the beast which Selena retweeted so… no drama here? Move along then? Sure. We’re not the ones who are paying.

And now Katy and Orlando are in Cannes. Katy’s scheduled to perform at the amfAR gala on Thursday night. Orlando is scheduled to be there to party. They were photographed kissing on Roman Abramovich’s yacht this weekend – click here to see. Other people who’ve been invited on that yacht include Kanye West’s wife’s mother. Leo’s been known to show up too. And these boat parties, they get real messy. Ahem. Don’t think Orly minds.

May 16, 2016 at 9:11 AM

Warning Signs


"Warning Signs" reveal 2


Photo Assumption: Selena & Orlando in Vegas

Your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend is in Vegas. You see these photos of him/her with someone else. Are you like, yeah, this is just a friendly embrace. They were hugging, after an intense conversation AT A CLUB, and supporting each other platonically. Are you the person who can rationalise it like that?

Is Katy Perry the person who can rationalise this like that?

It’s Selena Gomez and Orlando Bloom. Saturday night.

So. You think she’s calling John Mayer right now? Or has called him already?

As you know, Selena and Orlando have had a thing for a while. You remember this photo?

I wrote at the time – thanks to my friend Traci Melchor – that they were f-cking then for sure because when you’re that relaxed, sitting on a curb, like not caring about your angles and sh-t, it means you’ve already been naked together.

Two years later, that guy is dating your best friend’s nemesis. And, ahem, that guy likes to party. And now you’re both in Vegas. And… it’s loud in the club. It’s just a hug between friends, OK?

May 10, 2016 at 11:34

Warning Signs


Dressing like an asshole at Coachella is an equal opportunity for all genders. Just look at Kellan Lutz. Those tats are fake:

Taylor Swift bleached her hair for Coachella. Because she realised how much better VOGUE made her look compared to how she makes herself look. But she did not dress like a f-cking asshole. I love this grey t-shirt that hangs low in the back. I love these gold kicks. I love the layers in her hair. Her hair is SO good. PS the shoes are Golden Goose which are ridiculously priced at CDN$700. I prefer the slip-on version.

Taylor was there with several members of her that-word-we-are-all-sick-of (Lorde, Jack Antonoff, Serayah, Haim, Martha Hunt etc) because Calvin Harris was the marquee stage on Sunday night. And Rihanna showed up for We Found Love. Which Taylor was super excited about:

And then they had a moment, Rihanna and Taylor Swift:

This is noteworthy because it’s been a minute. It’s been a while. This photo is from 2010 when they were all still playing nice with each other:

As you know, Rihanna’s always been for Katy Perry. And Katy was also at Coachella. With Orlando Bloom.

That Coachella vibe is basically where Orlando Bloom lives, ahem. Katy and Rihanna have always been a lot less showy about their friendship. So I don’t know if it means anything. And if Selena Gomez and Katy can be cordial to each other, I don’t see why Rihanna can’t be with Taylor and still be tight with Katy, although, you know, Taylor would take it otherwise.

April 18, 2016 at 8:36 AM

Warning Signs


That New York rumour


I first heard this rumour a few weeks ago. Now two more people have told me the same rumour, all circulating among people in New York…about a hot actor and a married woman with a famous husband.

It’s been a while since he’s made a relationship stick. Because he’s so devoted to his work. One relationship apparently fell apart because of his work. We love him because he’s great at his job and so personable, handsome and cute at the same time. And stays out of trouble, off the party circuit, never attached to any drug-doing smut. Maybe the trouble he gets into has to do with who he hooks up with?

According to gossips in New York, he had an affair with the wife of a wealthy celebrity. Because of her marriage, she’s well-connected and has her own famous friendship circle that overlaps with his friendship circle. And while she doesn’t seem like his recent types, you don’t have to go back too far to find similarities with a previous type. This happened a while ago and ended not dramatically. Word is it took him a while to get over – not the emotion of it but the guilt. And he beat himself up pretty badly over what he considers a major mistake.

May 4, 2016 at 8:09 AM


"Warning signs" clue


Katy and her “boyfriend” in New York

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom were most recently in Hawaii. Last night she performed at a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton. Question: does Katy Perry ever not “theme” dress?

After the show, Orlando was seen leaving the venue. So they’re kind of inseparable right now. As I mentioned yesterday, it’s early, and when it’s early the horny dominates everything. According to E! however, this is serious, not just f-cking. And she’s calling him her “boyfriend”. Which is basically his biggest career accomplishment in years. That explains the self-satisfied look on his face, I guess?

For her though, after almost 3 years with John Mayer, maybe it’s a relief. Maybe it’s a relief not having to defer to someone who thinks he’s smarter and more talented. Not that Orly doesn’t come with his own, um, issues. He’s been on a professional bender for a while, hasn’t he?

March 3, 2016 at 9:20 AM

Warning signs


They hooked up real fast. And everything has been at top speed ever since. From initial attraction to exclusivity to super, super serious, they’ve been inseparable, and she’s totally in love and he’s definitely into her too but he’s also really, really into partying. They were both recently at a private event. Everyone was happy, everyone was celebrating, and then he starts making out with another guy. He was also totally f-cked up when it happened. He gets f-cked up a lot. It’s definitely a problem – one that he won’t acknowledge and that she doesn’t want to see because she’s too blissed out. Eventually though it’ll catch up with him and them. For years there have been warning signs with this guy. And it’s affected all of his past relationships. She can’t seem to avoid the dark ones.

April 15, 2016 at 8:19 AM

Update (5/17/16):
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3


"Exes & Wives" "Pigtails" reveal


It’s April Fools’ Day. So all kinds of pranks are showing up on the internet. Oxford Dictionaries is getting in on it too. Most of them are kind of lame. But then there’s this one, a new verb:

Leo, verb to achieve something after years of trying: “I feel like I’ve Leoed this morning; I finally passed my driving test.” [from the name of Leonardo DiCaprio, with allusion to his winning the 2016 Academy Award for Best Actor after six unsuccessful nominations.]

So, basically, Leo is the new Susan Lucci. Excellent. And totally, totally how he wants to be seen, right? (Thanks SJ!)

In other Leo news, here’s what Britney posted on Instagram yesterday for #tbt.

She’s not telling us when this happened. I’m going to guess around 2003/2004. She would have been 23ish, well within his age range, if you want to believe it went down. I can’t see that going down. I also can’t see her posting an old shot of herself with Ben Affleck. But I do love that Britney’s giving us this kind of random nostalgia that we didn’t even know was nostalgia.

April 1, 2016 at 9:56 AM

Exes & Wives


"Sidepiece on the sidejob" reveal


Today is Lady Gaga’s 30th birthday. I know, right? I always have a hard time remembering she’s the same age as Lindsay Lohan.

Anyway, there was a party over the weekend at the No Name club. By Hollywood standards then, just like a regular party with a lot of famous people hanging out – Taylor Swift, Lorde, Kate Hudson, etc. Gaga showed up with her fiancé, Taylor Kinney. Or… husband?

People have been pointing out that they were both wearing gold bands. On her, in particular, this is notable because she typically steps out with her huge engagement ring. So now there’s speculation that they were secretly married, even though there were rumours that she’s been planning this big ass event over in Italy in the summer which is kinda more on-brand. She did tell Ryan Seacrest a few weeks ago though that while her ma and sisters were helping with the wedding, “We are not planning anything that is worth writing about" and that it would be more “family style”.

Is it possible that it’s happened already?

And that Lady Gaga actually did a shocking thing by not making her wedding a spectacle? Am still having a hard time believing it. I have noticed that she and Taylor Kinney have been closer than ever the last couple of months. Almost as though it’s a renewed commitment to closeness. Smelling anything there?

March 28, 2016 at 9:58 AM

Sidepiece on the sidejob


"Two Men and their arrangements" clue 2


Gwen’s “juicy” story…and her Misery

Gwen Stefani’s new album, This Is What The Truth Feels Like, is out on March 18th. She’s been promoting it all over the place, including the New York Times. In a new interview with the publication, she talks about the experience of writing new music during her separation, and finding relief in the process while she was processing the end of the most significant relationship of her life.

As you know, Gwen and Gavin Rossdale broke up because he allegedly cheated on her with their nanny. While she hasn’t spoken about it publicly, she is singing about it. Used To Love You is 100% about him and how he treated her. And, well, considering everything we know from the tabloid reports about the nanny and the fact that she hasn’t denied it, it’s kinda implied that that’s how it all went down. Except, maybe, it was even uglier than we thought. She doesn’t give the NYT any details, because she doesn’t want to sh-t on her kids’ father, but she does say that:

“If I could, I would just tell you everything, and you would just be in shock. It’s a really good, juicy story.”

Yes. YES!

This is not Jennifer Garner levels of f-ck you in Vanity Fair to Ben Affleck but it’s also not taking the high road. It’s definitely not, “I’ve come to peace and we are there for our kids and I’m staying classy”. Oh no. What she’s doing here is confirming to us that what we know is true… and it’s even worse. Think about the affair. Think about how gross it was that he was doing the caregiver in the home they all shared. And she’s saying that that’s not the most shocking part of it? What, exactly, did you do? What did you do?

What he did, it was in the wake of that space that Gwen went back to the studio to work. And what’s interesting here is that when she sent the music over to her label, they initially patronised her. It’s OK Gwen. This is going to be your arty record. Not a lot of people will listen, but we’re still here for you. Until they actually heard Used To Love You. And then they were like, um, yeah, OK, we’re down.

She’s Gwen Stefani. She’s a big f-cking deal. And she has to wait for some suit in a corner office to “get” it.

This is probably the best profile of Gwen Stefani I have ever read. This is not the person who once told a beauty magazine that she wears makeup to please her husband. Rather, this is a woman who talks about needing to create and to produce immediately after having her children. Because when she tried it the new way, which could have been easier, and safer – having other people write songs for her – it wasn’t right, it wasn’t her, it wasn’t real. But hints of the former Gwen are still there. In her surprise that people continue to be interested. In feeling overwhelmed that at 46, she still matters. And I don’t think that’s an “oh gosh, really? Me?” fake humility thing. After all, she spent 20 years loving a man who she thought she didn’t deserve. We don’t release ourselves of those misapprehensions overnight. It sounds, though, like she’s starting.

Here’s her new song, Misery. And click here to read the NYT article.

March 11, 2016 at 2:12 PM

Two Men and their arrangements


From the Sasha Answers podcast.

[3:33 - 4:00]

Lainey: For the first guy--in the clue or in the riddle--there is a word in there, "juicy." "Juicy" is a clue that you should focus on, everybody. And it's not Jake Gyllenhaal. Okay.

March 22, 2016 at 8:20 AM

Two Men and their arrangements


From the Sasha Answers podcast.

[3:33 - 4:00]

Lainey: For the first guy--in the clue or in the riddle--there is a word in there, "juicy." "Juicy" is a clue that you should focus on, everybody. And it's not Jake Gyllenhaal. Okay.

March 22, 2016 at 8:20 AM

Two Men and their arrangements


It’s the hookup everyone wants. On paper, it’s ideal. Sweetheart loves home, in more ways than one. Indeed, a couple of months ago, she was supposedly still hanging out at his place. But around the same time she was also seen in a foreign country, sightseeing…and seeing someone else?

Her close friends are saying she’s actually not dating the guy you want her to be dating. Their answer about her love life involves a man with a sexy accent who happens to live in the aforementioned foreign country. And her trip there was to see him, spend time with him. And they definitely hung out during award season. Which is why she doesn’t mind that you think she’s with someone else. Because then she can hide what’s really going on for a lot longer.

March 22, 2016 at 8:04 AM


"Too 'upper class' for talk" reveal 2


Jennifer Garner hustled all last week to promote Miracles From Heaven. Click here to read Sarah’s review of the movie. As Sarah noted, Jennifer is the highlight of the film. And the film did well this weekend at the box office, finishing in third for a 5 day total of almost $20 million on a $13 million budget. The studio is considering it a solid success. And for Jennifer personally, given that this is her first project since her separation from Ben Affleck, it’s a major accomplishment and a perfectly executed PR strategy, building on the goodwill that’s come her way since the breakup. VOGUE actually posted an article about her hair on Friday. VOGUE! I know! The headline reads “Why Jennifer Garner Has Never Looked Better”. The MiniVan Majority loved her before the split. Now? It’s straight up, rabid devotion.

“When life gives you lemons… make lemonade!”

I can see her face on this poster, her dimples and smile so convincing, even I’d consider buying one.

So…what does she do with this momentum? The Chicken Soup answer is to “focus on the children”, obviously. OK fine but what’s the real answer? Will the talk show be re-pitched? She actually seems to be busier than she’s been in a while. There are back to back projects. After having to endure life in his “shadow” Jennifer Garner is, arguably, more interesting now than she’s ever been before. This is definitely not an accident. It would be an insult to her to suggest it.

March 21, 2016 at 6:28 AM

Too "upper class" for talk