"Not a doting mother, not a kind employer" reveal 2

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24502/Seal-accuses-Heidi-Klum-of-affair-with-bodyguard

Heidi & the bodyguard

Well now this is how they should all behave when they divorce -- with bitterness and barbs over a bodyguard, all caught on camera.

Heidi Klum was papped on holiday with her children in Sardinia. In the photos, she and her bodyguard have their arms around each other. There’s nothing dirty but it was suggestive enough to get people wondering whether or not they’re intimate. And indeed, she’s not denied that they’re involved. Click here and here to see some of the photos. I guess the foot-rubbing progressed to more than just a massage. (Yes, that was a very, very big riddle hint.)

After the pictures with the bodyguard were published the other day, TMZ asked Seal, Heidi’s estranged husband, about her new situation. He replied, ON CAMERA, that it’s too bad that his ex couldn’t wait until they were separated before “fornicating with the help”. Click here to see.

Then, realising that he’d just revealed himself to be a dick, he tried to take it back the next day, claiming that he was misunderstood and that Heidi didn’t cheat on him. Sure. Heidi’s trying to take the high road though and in a statement to PEOPLE explained that:

"I cherish all of the great memories Seal and I created together over the years. Our separation was based on issues between the two of us. Seal has moved on and so have I. My priority has and continues to be protecting and providing for our children."

But that hasn’t stopped her from suggesting to TMZ that Seal’s reaction to whatever she’s up to with her bodyguard illustrates perfectly why their marriage fell apart: because he gets mean when he gets angry and he’s angry and jealous too often. Heidi messaging is also premised on her position that Seal wants her back and if he can’t have her, he’ll take as much of her money as he can get in court. And, as you can see, he’ll keep embarrassing her in public to get his point across. Women find this kind of intensity attractive all the time and I’ve never understood it. You’ve seen it in real life among civilians -- possessiveness as an acceptable accompaniment to love. I can understand its origin in the man, but what is the root cause for condoning it in women?

Heidi returned to New York from Italy and has since been seen with a new bodyguard. It’s not known right now if he’s been graduated to official boyfriend. Attached -here she is with him in NYC last month.

September 4, 2012 at 8:03 AM

Not a doting mother, not a kind employer



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One more couple to mourn

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24477/One-more-couple-to-mourn-blind-riddle

Nothing to laugh about here -- this one we will all be sad about. All of us. Because it’s almost over for them. After rising together and stabilising together and conveniently finding a home together, where you’d think work would be so much easier, and having the babies too, they’re close to formally ending it, and there may be an announcement soon...which, well, if you look at him it doesn’t seem to have affected him physically. Everyone says he really cares about his appearance these days, more than ever, and is looking hotter than ever. Or, as one person put it, “hot all of a sudden”. Emotionally too he hasn’t let on that there’s anything wrong. For what it’s worth, I’m told there was no third party involvement. Perhaps that means it’s amicable, just the end of their story. Perhaps we’ll be more choked about it than they are. As I drench my waffles in more maple syrup.

August 29, 2012 at 3:51 PM



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"Banned Band" reveal

http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24410/Avril-Lavigne-and-Chad-Kroeger-engaged

As every Canadian cringes...

Come on.

They’re perfect for each other.

You don’t even have to think about it for that long -- Avril Lavigne and Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger make sense. Look at her. Look at him. They finally found each other. They are getting married.

It happened while they were working together on her new album. Oh but you can’t wait to hear those songs, can you?

In an exclusive interview with HELLO! Canada, Avril says:

“He makes me laugh every day. He takes care of me in every way and is extremely attentive.”

And Chad:

“I knew I was falling for her. It was incredibly powerful and something I'll never forget. I feel like the luckiest person alive.”

Here’s the ring:

14 karats.

Of course it is. With Chad, it’s all about the size. It’s only about the size. And the rock star living. Hard partying, trashing hotel rooms, the women (Nickelback fans are something to see, I am telling you), and all that stops now? At the Junos a few years ago in Vancouver, he and his girlfriend/partner at the time had a mega scrap at one of the downtown hotels. THAT is exactly what the life is. And now Avril Lavigne is a part of it.

You know this is a torrid, torrid relationship. In every sense of the word torrid. Like Tommy and Pam torrid. Everything you can imagine TORRID. Sorry... was that your lunch? And now, after just 6 months, it’ll be a marriage. Every marriage begins with optimism. I am very optimistic too. Because these two will deliver. On Good Gossip at its messiest and most sinful.

HELLO! Canada is on newsstands now.

August 22, 2012 at 9:14 AM

Banned Band



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"Cucumber" reveal

http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24382/Diane-Kruger-and-Joshua-Jackson-spend-time-with-his-sister-and-niece-in-Vancouver

Joshua Jackson is in Vancouver shooting Fringe. The weather has been great the last few weeks, finally. June was awful. July was sh-t too. So he was leaving for LA every chance he could. Because, frankly, Vancouver wasn’t offering much of a summer for a while. Now that August is beautiful though, he’s staying and so is his girlfriend. Diane Kruger joined him here over a week ago and they spent part of Sunday with his sister and his niece in Kitsilano, out for brunch at Sophie’s where Diane enjoyed her vegetables. She certainly has a vegetable-enjoying figure.

Yes, I love her bag too. Will ask Sasha.

August 20, 2012 at 9:07 AM


Cucumber


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Who Did Your Eyes?

http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24314/Who-Did-Your-Eyes-Blind-Riddle

One of the best pieces of gossip I’ve heard lately. I wish I could have watched it go down. Wait, but now I’ve built it up too much. So I’ll pull it back first: this does not involve sex or cheating or secret gays or garden vegetables which means some of you may find it boring. But it does involve two celebrated actors, super powerful, super respected, neither of whom seem to be particularly vain physically beyond staying trim.

A few months ago, one wrote the other asking for some advice:

Actor A: I was just wondering...who did your eyes?

Actor B: I don’t know, I’ve never had my eyes done.

Actor C: Yeah, ok, sure. Merry Christmas.

And then they spent the rest of the season sh-t talking each other while smiling down the carpets at all the events during the season because one suspects the other of holding out on him for a good surgeon. In Hollywood, you’re never too mature to be pretty...and petty!

August 10, 2012 at 12:34



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"He turned out to be the cliché" reveal

http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24176/Jon-Hamm%E2%80%99s-bar-moves

Jon Hamm’s bar moves


No... they’re not all perfect. This is a reality that Twilight fans are trying to accept today.

And for those of you devoted to Jon Hamm...well...

It’s been a couple of weeks for you.

And now there’s more.

The Daily is reporting exclusively that Hamm has been flirty and single-acting in bars and at events in Kansas, Rome, and Brooklyn hitting on girls at a pub there and buying drinks for “every mediocre girl”. Sh-t. Do we need to be so harsh?

Hamm’s long-time partner Jennifer Westfeldt was not with him on any of those occasions.

What?

Can’t a dude talk to a woman without being accused of being unfaithful. Of course. Of course. Not everyone is a pig. Jon Hamm isn’t a pig, is he?

Click here to read more from The Daily.

July 25, 2012 at 9:45 AM

He turned out to be the cliché



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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24175/Cucumber-blind-riddle

Let’s take a break from the Twilight despair to get into some sexual produce.

They’ve been together a while now. They’re beautiful and fashionable and they’ve travelled the world. This sense of adventure extends beyond geography. After so many years, it would appear that these two are still super hot for each other.

At a party very recently, they wandered into the garden. They started kissing, rubbing, grinding. He went between her thighs...with his hands...and an accessory.

A cucumber.

In the garden.

At a party.

With a cucumber.

She enjoyed it.

They didn’t know at the time but there was an audience. When they figured that out they were obviously mortified. They’re a lot luckier than Kristen Stewart though. The evidence in this case will not be published.

July 25, 2012 at 9:41 AM


Update (8/20/12): reveal



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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Celebrity/20397/Details/23890/Jon-Hamm-and-Jennifer-Westfeldt-are-making-it-longer-than-others

We still have you

Jon Hamm attended the To Rome With Love screening last night in New York with his long-time love Jennifer Westfeldt. Oh Hamm. We still have you, don’t we? You won’t wrap your head in a thousand scarves and necklaces and prefer the company of Marilyn Manson over your family, will you?

Never ever once has there been a hint of it with Jon Hamm. Never once the suggestion that he steps out on her. They’ve been together forever, when he was struggling and now that he’s no longer struggling. It’s rare, totally. But it’s not impossible, right? Jon Hamm is saying it’s not impossible?

June 21, 2012 at 1:53 PM

He turned out to be the cliché



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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Celebrity/20397/Details/21311/Jon-Hamm-and-Jennifer-Westfeldt-Emmy-Awards-2011-19sept11

Jon Hamm looked bummed out when Mad Men won for Best Drama. Jon Hamm also has a man-crush on Coach Taylor. This is why we love Jon Hamm. Who looked, as usual, very handsome last night. And very chivalrously helped several ladies up on stage. And he loves his lady so much, Jennifer Westfeldt, which is why I wish, I wish so much, she would stop with the nonsense all up in her face. Because whatever she’s trying to fix with all that sh-t, it cannot be fixed with a needle or a filler, and this was the perhaps too-subtle point I was trying to make last week: she is too smart to be fighting it this hard; but a girl who is fighting it this hard, well, that’s a girl who’s probably holding on really, really too tight, right?
.
One day a few years ago, Antonio Banderas looked at his wife Melanie Griffith and he told her, “I love you so much, only you, and this is why I cannot accept any more plastic surgery because you don’t need it, I will still love you when you stop, I will always love you so please stop.”

Supposedly she did.

I wonder if Jon Hamm will say the same to Jennifer Westfeldt. I wonder if he will tell her that she is bright and talented, that she can write and create, that she is more than just a witless starlet running around pretending to be 25 forever, and that as such she doesn’t have to paralyse her face anymore, because it’s so much more interesting when it moves.

I hope he tells her that every day and she listens. I hope she listens and they make it.

Westfeldt’s Friends With Kids which screened at TIFF last week was just acquired yesterday by Lionsgate. I didn’t get a chance to see it but several of my colleagues did, and LOVED it.

September 19, 2011 at 4:37 AM

He turned out to be the cliché



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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Celebrity/20397/Details/21232/Jon-Hamm-and-Jennifer-Westfeldt-at-TIFF-2011-to-promote-Friends-With-Kids-12sept11

It was really cute when they were full on making out upstairs at the Grey Goose/Soho House party. This happened before they hooked up with George Clooney and Stacy Keibler. He adores her. He really, really adores her.

But ...

I mean you’re looking at these photos. And we’re thinking the same thing, right? Because in person, seeing her, all of us there were thinking the same thing. The same thing I thought when I watched her on Grey’s Anatomy and if you’ve been reading this blog a long time you’ll have heard it before but for the benefit of those who are relatively new...

Remember when Jennifer Westfeldt was on Grey’s Anatomy and she played the woman with cancer and she was supposed to be sick but in every scene her skin was rosy and glowing and the picture of health? That made me crazy. And, well, seeing her in person, several times now, you realise some things are hard to make OVER, you know what I mean?

Of course, being the bitch ass gossips that we are, the logical next part of this discussion is who he is now, and who she is now, and how f-cking hard that must be and if it’s not actually hard, how f-cking awful it is that everyone just makes that assumption.

Having said that, how accurate is the assumption?

The common observation amongst many of us seeing them this weekend as they promoted Friends With Kids at TIFF was that she seemed...clingy. Courtney Shea, the VISA TIFF Insider called her a drag. Click here to read Courtney’s encounter with Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt on Saturday night. I disagree with Courtney about Hamm’s height. His height is fine. But on the drag part...? Maybe a little. And this worries me for them. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m wrong. Give me another way to see it. I am asking you for serious.


September 12, 2011 at 6:52 AM

He turned out to be the cliché



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"Thin For Nothing" reveal 2

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24088/As-IF-Ashley-Greene-is-taking-over-Kristen-Stewart

Need some comic relief this Monday morning? You can thank Ashley Greene for it. This item appeared in the NY Post yesterday. I’ve decided to include the entire article for maximum amusement:


Greene is really about to be the color of money.
For the past four years, “Twilight” siren Kristen Stewart needed a garlic necklace of her own to avoid the immense amount of press requests and fashion houses longing to pin her face to their hot campaigns.
Now the quiet bloodsucker in the background, Ashley Greene, is getting top billing. She’s currently gracing the cover of Cosmopolitan’s “Hot Issue” after landing on the front of Lucky, Women’s Health and a handful of other titles.
“[Stewart] is no longer the poster girl for ‘Twilight.’ The industry has fallen in love with Greene, who is being hunted down by producers for several upcoming roles,” an insider says.
Greene is about to really cash in with three new films including the much-buzzed “CBGB,” on the New York punk scene and the venerable club.
Execs at major fashion houses are drooling over her upcoming fall DKNY Jeans campaign.
“Prada is one of many ready to pony up far more than the standard $20 million payday to land [Greene],” our source said. And all this before the last installment of "Twilight" hits theaters in mid-November.--

Joseph Barracato was the poor writer assigned to that story. I wonder if he didn’t have to self-medicate to get through it. For the entertainment reporter there are those days - and I know them well - when you have to fight the urge to say to your editor/producer “Please, God, no, do I have to?” Then you close your eyes and accept your fate. No one will remember, right? No one will blame me, right?

No, Joseph, we don’t blame you.

We blame no one.

Because this sh-t, this sh-t is FUNNY.

Ashley Greene is about to dethrone Kristen Stewart??? The same Kristen Stewart who just won the box office this summer with a non-Twilight film and is about to claim yet another mega money franchise all while somehow maintaining her small movie credibility - that Kristen Stewart? Kristen Stewart can get any meeting she wants to in Hollywood, no problem. Ashley Greene couldn’t f-ck her way into most meetings, let alone the kind of meetings Stewart takes, and does, but only discriminately. Kristen Stewart doesn’t have to stop eating.

I know there are those of you who aren’t enamoured with Stewart. Fine. I get that. But like her or not, you are also not an idiot. You know that right now, by the Hollywood grading system, it doesn’t get higher than Kristen Stewart. She currently lives in the penthouse with Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence. No doubt you find both of them more agreeable.

In other words, this mentally unstable New York Post article is trying to tell you that Ashley Greene, a third tier Twilight cast member who “dated” a Jonas Vagina Virgin, is synonymous with Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashley Greene, bless her, she won’t stop trying. If she can’t stop embarrassing herself, why shouldn’t we continue to enjoy it?

Here she is at Comic-Con the other day dressed for a tea party. Am also throwing in some shots of her with that other loser Kellan Lutz because, well, no matter how hard they want to escape each other, this is where they’ll always exist - side by side, B+ max forever.

July 16, 2012 at 11:10

Thin For Nothing



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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Celebrity/20116/Details/24131/Eating-ice-cream-on-a-bench-with-Mark-Ruffalo

I want to eat ice cream on a bench, any bench anywhere, but especially in New York, with Mark Ruffalo any time. Even in winter. Even when it’s raining. Whatever. I’m there. It would crush me if he were the cliché. But he’s not. So we have nothing to worry about.

The thing about Mark Ruffalo is that he makes even the non-gushy girls gushy. Duana is not a gushy girl. She’s not prone to crushing and writing imaginary meet-cute screenplays about Ryan Gosling or whatever. Bring the conversation around to Mark Ruffalo however and her voice goes up, almost squeaky. Last week we were on a conference call and she was all business and then Mark Ruffalo somehow came up and Duana allowed herself to be distracted. She may have even giggled. That’s Mark Ruffalo.

Look at him with his slouchy t-shirt and rumpled hair, greying all over, matching his beard. And then that voice...

Oh God.

Wait. There are a few of you out there, more than a few, who aren’t convinced right?

Please. Watch. Watch him commit to that conversation with his hand on his face holding an imaginary phone! Come on! (I’ve now just killed Duana’s entire day.)



July 19, 2012 at 11:55

He turned out to be the cliché



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"He turned out to be the cliché," it's not...

http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24084/Robert-Downey-Jr-rules-Comic-Con-as-Tony-Stark-Iron-Man

(Lainey: RDJ is not the cliché)

July 16, 2012 at 9:30 AM

He turned out to be the cliché


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"He turned out to be the cliché," it's not...

http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24072/July-13--2012-Smutty-Shout-Outs

Andrea - This is not James McAvoy. Look at him, in New York earlier this week, being so beautiful. Now go back to preventing a pandemic in the EU.

July 13, 2012 at 8:58 AM

He turned out to be the cliché


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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24071/Intro-for-July-13--2012

Stop yelling at me. I gave warning that this would crush you. But why would it crush me if it was Antonio Banderas? It’s not. Or Hugh Jackman which... have I not been clear enough about Hugh Jackman?

July 13, 2012 at 8:49 AM

He turned out to be the cliché


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"He turned out to be the cliché," it's not...

http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24067/Smutty-Tingles-for-July-12--2012

Ummm...sorry again about that blind riddle. It’s not Tom Hanks.

July 12, 2012 at 1:30 PM

He turned out to be the cliché
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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24062/He-turned-out-to-be-the-clich%C3%A9-blind-riddle

He was the one we trusted who can’t actually be trusted. He used to be my answer to the question - is there anyone in Hollywood who DOESN’T cheat? Yes, I’d say, and excitedly too! Art does not imitate life! He’s faithful!

Well, no. He isn’t.

He hits on the young funny pretty ones at parties. Very typical behaviour - he loosens up with a few drinks and he turns into a pig; two of his more famous targets, both under 30, turned him down. He did however spend a few nights with a frequent co-star, over 30. They’ve worked together on major and minor projects. As for his long suffering partner? The woman we thought was the love of his life? Well, sometimes when he gets drunk and smears himself all over other ladies, she’s actually right there. She turns away. She pretends she doesn’t see. Which... kind of explains why she looks the way she does.

That said, it is a partnership. It’s not like she’s getting nothing out of it. He has used his influence to help her, certainly. Perhaps she’s decided it’s worth it.

An actor cheating on his partner is nothing new and doesn’t make for the most intriguing blind, sure. But like I said earlier, he was the one who was supposed to not be like the others. He’s the one who’s enjoyed almost unanimous popularity. And he turned out to be the cliché. I was surprised about this one. And very, very disappointed.

July 12, 2012 at 10:22

Update 7/25/12:
Denial 1: Tom Hanks
Denial 2 & 3: Antonio Banderas & Hugh Jackman
Denial 4: James McAvoy
Denial 5: Robert Downey Jr. (RDJ)
Denial 6: Mark Ruffalo
Clue 1
Clue 2
Clue 3
reveal



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"Three Weeks" reveal 4

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/23718/Christian-Bale-gets-emotional-at-MTV-Movie-Awards


Christian Bale’s emotions

Um, Christian Bale and Natalie Portman look SUPER HOT as a couple, right? I’m so excited to see him look like himself in a movie - not scowling, not dying, not drug-addicted and emaciated but ordinary, and smiling.

Anyway, about last night at the Movie Awards - in case you missed it, they played a Dark Knight retrospective and included a few scenes with Heath Ledger and then Bale took the microphone and could not contain his emotions.

Needless to say, some of you were all swoony about his public emoting. I’m a dumb c-nt though so, to tell you the truth, I was more uncomfortable than horny. When people cry on tv, or generally in front of a group, my go-to reaction is usually embarrassment. Also people need to stop crying at work.

Where Christian Bale is concerned, I do believe that he is A Sensitive Artist who has no filter. That lack of filter manifested itself in this case on stage at the Movie Awards in a sweet moment of tribute to a fallen comrade. But what is that expression... two sides of the same coin? Kind of appropriate actually when you consider the Batman and the Joker, because that which moved Bale to tears last night is also what moves him to lose his sh-t on set when someone gets in his sightline, resulting in, well, we’ve all heard his rant, right? That infamous rant is the fraternal twin of what happened last night at the Movie Awards. It all lives so close to the surface for Christian Bale. And it all depends where that intensity is directed. For every time he breaks down in tears, there may be a tantrum the next day, followed by a love connection right after.

June 4, 2012 at 2:00 PM

Three Weeks
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"Thin For Nothing" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Category/1266/Details/23459/Ashley-Greene-thinnification-at-Met-Gala-2012

Met Gala Thinnification: Ashley Greene

She’s wearing white Donna Karan. Basically a wedding dress. You’ve seen it a thousand times. What’s new here, or new-ish, at least since last year’s Met Gala, is Ashley Greene’s thinnification. Ashley Greene was always fit. She had a great body. Slim but strong and seemingly healthy.

Somewhere along the way though, as they do in Hollywood, someone must have told her she was “too athletic”, and “not delicate enough”. She’s not the first. To oblige. They are all so desperate for more. And this is the result. The saddest part is it won’t make a difference. Twenty pounds won’t make her Anne Hathaway. Ashley Greene will never be Anne Hathaway. She’ll never even be Jessica Biel.


May 8, 2012 at 8:16 AM 

Thin For Nothing


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http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/23442/Met-Gala-2012-Intro

Anna Wintour presides over this event. Its official name is the Costume Institute Gala. So, as I say every year, this is NOT the Academy. There is no constituency here from Palm Springs to fellate. The people you want to blow are the precious fashion bitches. In other words, the style assessment has a slightly different standard. Save it with the taffeta. Please no ball gowns, no figure skating, no brides, no Oscar de la Renta for the Princess Michael of Kent, and ... no Lindsay Lohan! Anna shut that sh-t down!

At the Met Gala you bring your game. Your game may be considered ugly by some, by the minivan majority, but ugly, here, is better than boring, imagination is better than safe, edge is better than predictable. With all due respect, the fact that you would never wear it is half the point.

I will try to cover as many people as possible. By the end there may be as many as 40 articles, over 8,000 words. So...some will have to be cut. Like I’ll tell you right now, I’m cutting Heidi Klum. Not interesting and don’t care, unless she’s the subject of a blind riddle. But you already knew that.
Are we fighting? We will fight HARD! What could possibly be more fun than to fight over Dress Porn?

(Right now, at 9pm PT Monday night, I cannot find a photo of Andre Leon Talley. What is this world? Every year he makes some kind of entrance on those steps, and sometimes Anna even orders him to arrange her daughter’s dress, a sight I will never forget, along with my friend Lara, the first time we covered the event. This time he was responsible for Beyonce’s walk up to the doors. Will try to update later if new ones come up. In the meantime, I thought you might enjoy this shot of him with Anna front row at Chanel in March. And on the subject of Chanel...where was Karl???)

May 8, 2012 at 6:09 AM

Not a doting mother, not a kind employer




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