Showing posts with label assistants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label assistants. Show all posts

22 September 2015 Smutty Shout-Outs

http://www.laineygossip.com/September-22--2015-Smutty-Shout-Outs/40701

Matt asked me for a birthday blind so who’s the douchebag who justifies his hate for media but can’t justify what a dick he is to the people who work to support him? For someone who fronts like he’s so tough, all he ever does is whinge about how nobody takes care of him, how nobody knows what he wants for lunch, and when he’s done moaning about that, his mean streak kicks in and he doesn’t stop until he’s made people cry. There’s no defence for being a coddled movie star and berating someone until they run out of the room, sobbing. This is why he’s off the list.

September 22, 2015 at 7:19 AM

Update (12/21/15):
clue
reveal




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24 April 2015 Smutty Shout-Outs

http://www.laineygossip.com/April-24--2015-Smutty-Shout-Outs/38311

Here’s a fun one that hits a lot of gossip spots.

She has a new assistant who works hard, who’s very capable, who is also very attractive. After an event recently, the celebrity left with a gift bag. Inside the bag was a new fragrance. She gave the fragrance to her assistant. The assistant started wearing it as her signature scent. Over the next few days, everyone started commenting on how good she smelled. A couple weeks later, the celebrity asks her assistant to GIVE BACK the cologne. And she starts wearing it instead.

April 24, 2015 at 7:07 AM




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The assistant at the border

http://www.laineygossip.com/The-assistant-at-the-border-blind-riddle/28300

This blind riddle is about a celebrity and his assistant, and what it might be like to work for a celebrity as an assistant. Some of the benefits? You get to be part of that culture and you’re surrounded by creativity – in this case, I guess – and you get to travel around the world. The downside? Sometimes, in travelling around the world, you’re asked to break the law. Not a big deal.

He flew to another country to start work on a new movie. His assistant came with him on the flight and he asked her to take his bags so he could save time. At customs they were curious as to why he didn’t have any luggage. And when he told them his belongings were with his assistant, they brought her in too. In his belongs – and remember she was the one transporting them – they found a few joints. Not a lot, and just for recreational use, and he certainly wasn’t dealing but you know the sh-t that can come down on your ass for taking drugs across a border, right? I don’t have to tell you this, right? They were detained for a couple of hours and the weed was confiscated, but in the end, they were released without drama, without incident. So they were lucky, or privileged, I can’t decide.

But the point is, that’s what’s asked of you as a celebrity assistant. If he wants you to carry his marijuana on your person, knowing that if you get busted, that could totally f-ck up your status, well, you do it anyway. Because you’re the subordinate and powerful and also because you’re so used to the special treatment he receives, you think it might extend to you. In this case, happily for her, it did. But it’s still a risk you have to be willing to take.

And as for the celebrity? I know people who feel bad just asking me for a ride to work, even though it’s on my way. They don’t want to be an inconvenience. When you’re famous? When you’re famous, sometimes you don’t even feel bad to ask an employee to hold your dope in violation of international law.

October 10, 2013 at 6:45 AM



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06 December 2011 Live Blog

http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/22038/Weekly-Live-Blog-December-6--2011

Would you still love him if you knew that he stomps around the set, holding up production, when his tea is brought to him at not the right temperature? (more...)

Would you still love him if you found out he delayed filming, and an entire crew, for several hours, because he HAD TO HAVE HIS LUNCH from a place that was off site so they had to drive there to get it and come back, only it was missing an ingredient and he sent it back?

Would you still love him if he refused to report to set after visiting wardrobe and found out someone else had been joking around with his hat and he insisted it wasn't sitting right on his head anymore?

December 6, 2011 at 1:00 PM

Update (12/13/11):

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Biohazard

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/21565/Biohazard-blind-riddle

Here’s a gross one to kick off your weekend. If you’re prudey and squeamish, you may want to skip it.

We’re women. Sometimes the cycle, it’s hard to control. How many times have you heard someone complain that her holiday was happening right when the menses were too? (Menses is the MOST hilarious word to me, by the way. Because I’m immature enough to laugh about the fact that it’s so similar to Mensa. Anyway...)

Imagine then if your speciality was being naked on screen? And, you know, how that would work if you were on your period? And this is not a porn show. This, actually, is a critically acclaimed show. And one day, while shooting a nude scene, she walked on set with no clothes on and her tampon string clearly visible.

(I am warning you right now.If you just squealed, you need to stop reading this and move on. It’s about to get worse. Go.)

So of course they can’t shoot her with her tampon still inside her so, you know, in front of the entire crew, she pulls it out and drops it on the floor and asks the PA to pick it up and toss it for her. Which, um, is a biohazard, and you know, those PAs, their tolerance is high, but no, picking up used tampons is not part of the job. The bleeder reluctantly had to throw it out herself.

This is just one of many incidents that has resulted in her screen-time getting reduced. By the end of it, there’s a chance she could come back, but she’s certainly not being considered a mainstay regular anymore either.

Easy, right?

SO easy.

October 14, 2011 at 2:14 PM

Update (2/18/12):

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Who would want to work with this?

http://www.laineygossip.com/Who_would_want_to_work_with_this_blind_riddle_14mar11.aspx

She’s long had a reputation for being absolute hell to work with. I mean like straight up crazy. Leaves her sh-t, sometimes literally, everywhere, specifies exact times when people can or cannot talk to her, is foaming at the mouth insane one minute, calm and collected the next. Lately her opportunities have dried up. And this is a good example of why.

Press junket. A handler has to make sure she wakes up in the morning. Because she’s not a proper adult? She finds her completely out of it. Has to put her in the shower and HOLD HER UP. Picture that please. A grown woman having to be physically SUPPORTED in the shower to make sure she can go and do her JOB. She then had to be spoon fed her breakfast. And she had to be dressed. Like, let’s put on your socks! Finally they get her to the point where she can be seen in public. A journalist is soon expected for an interview. Through it all she’s still a f-cking zombie.

Soon as the reporter comes into the room though, a switch goes off. She’s alive. She’s engaging. She can speak in proper sentences. And you can imagine, for the people who’ve experienced this, who’ve had to work with her, who have to manage the unpredictability of this, how scary it must be, how utterly unsettling, even more unsettling than most of her peers. And in her business, that’s a pretty high standard.

Monday, March 14, 2011 at 6:07 AM

Update (2/15/12):

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15 December 2010 Smutty Shout-Out

http://www.laineygossip.com/Smutty_ShoutOuts_15dec10.aspx

there’s an actor, a popular and celebrated one, who has been so universally abusive to handlers lately, from city to city, to those he knows and perfect strangers, that everyone is scrambling for reassignment now that his reputation has travelled with him. Some have even offered to work with lowly C and D listers instead because his cruelty has been horrible, even by Hollywood standards, to the point where there are those who think he’s suffering from mental disease. No, no, let’s not give him an out. He’s a dick. Plain. It’s not Sean Penn.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010 at 6:48 AM

Update (03/15/11):

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Bad with people

http://www.laineygossip.com/Bad_with_People_blind_riddle_21sept10.aspx

Maybe we’re not his species. But he broke hearts recently on a promotional tour and shat on all the little people in his way. Of course he turned it on for cameras, of course he was super nice to those with a higher profile, but assistants, crew, hair and makeup, drivers, all were beneath him, which is why he required his door opened every time, all the time, would make a stink if he had to help himself, and refused to make eye contact with the lowly helpers who were ordered to provide his refreshments.

At all stops he would sweep into the makeup room, total JLo/Mimi/Country Bitch/major ass diva styles, not bother with an introduction, put his feet up on the artist table, throw his head back, CLOSE HIS EYES, and EXPECT to be treated. No please, no thank you, not even any simple request, to the point where, on several occasions, no one knew what to do, until it had to be explained to them that this particular move signals that he’s ready to have his makeup either applied or taken off, depending on where we are in the day.

Ohhhhhh...

I’m sorry, I didn’t know.

Well of course that’s what it means.

Only a well mannered, well raised human being would expect someone who’s never met you before to automatically know what the f-ck it is that you’re asking for when you’re too special to have to ask for it in the first place. Asshole.

What a major disappointment. As for his victims? They are the sweetest, loveliest, gentlest people I’ve ever worked with. They’ve also worked with some of the biggest names in entertainment. And all of them said that this motherf-cker, with his little specialty show, could rival and surpass the top superstars in the world in attitude and f-ckery.

Bitch, you just lost a lot of fans.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 7:51 AM

Update (11/03/10):

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a half blind

http://www.laineygossip.com/Zac_Efron_goes_for_sailing_practice_in_Vancouver_for_Charlie_St_Cloud_reshoots_18may10.aspx

As noted yesterday, Zac Efron is back in Vancouver for reshoots on Charlie St Cloud. He was photographed at sailing practice yesterday and his pants were falling off. There may have been a little posing happening too. They’re actors, they ALL work on the stand and the lean and the shoulder dip. Trust.

Have heard recently from sources on the set of Charlie St Cloud who worked on the film last summer that Zac was very well liked. He was prepared and low key, no crazy ass diva demands, no celebrity posturing. Unlike a starlet recently who halted production on a project for 3 hours because wardrobe brought her a rack of clothes to try on in the wrong size. It was an innocent mistake, it was a size up, and she lost her sh-t because 1. she thought the costume designer was trying to f-ck with her about weight gain and 2. she’s been paranoid about weight gain her whole life. Gradually her assistant had to coax her back to work and the bosses arranged for her to keep the clothes, the ones that fit. It’s not Jennifer Aniston.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 7:27 AM

Update (5/20/10):
denial 1: Jennifer Aniston
clue
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Hands free

http://www.laineygossip.com/Hands_Free_blind_riddle_12jan10.aspx

A quickie.

Who makes sure that her husband has someone on staff specifically to hold her bag while she watches him at work? This is the employee’s only job responsibility. This person does nothing else but hold the bag. There’s no multitasking here. Because the bag can’t be put away in a room or on a table. It must be held. But not by her. Because she photographs much better when she has her hands free. This is Status. This is Respect. This from a woman who claims she’s down with down home living. Not high maintenance? Please.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010 at 7:18 AM

Update (1/20/10):
denial 1: Nick Cannon
denial 2: Jennifer Garner
guess
reveal
poll results


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Holiday Riddles

http://www.laineygossip.com/Holiday_Riddles_blind_items_17dec09.aspx

There’s a juicy one coming next week but chew on this for now? Please don’t be mad at me for enjoying New York too much.

Which recently singled douchebag’s publicist has been calling every tabloid begging them to print his version of the breakup in order to protect his ego? The rep has been desperately trying to play competing publications against each other to make sure his client comes out of it with his penis size preserved which only reinforces the widely held belief that his client is a giant prick – in personality, and not necessarily in his pants.

Everyone knows about this delightful action star’s relationship with the head of his company and that his wife isn’t really his lover. But the boyfriend is jealous and overprotective and now his hiring practices are raising some eyebrows. He will not hire anyone prettier/hunkier/more stylish than he is for fear of tempting his famous partner.

Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 12:13 PM

Update (12/17/09):
Riddle #1 clue

Riddle #2 clue
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Anger Management

http://www.laineygossip.com/Anger_Management_Blind_Item.aspx

It's not just Russell Crowe who has anger issues...only he was stupid enough to beat down a dude who didn't have to survive in the business.

This ferocious lady who in these circles has always been known to be a difficult bitch keeps her attacks, with a few exceptions (like if you make the mistake of not getting out of her way quickly enough at the airport), restricted to those who have to work around her. Like PAs and caterers, makeup artists. Whichever minion catches her in a bad mood and depending on the crime, it could result in an open hand slap to the face, throwing coffee all over someone's pants, and most recently, when craft services wasn't up to her exacting standards, stalking up to an unsuspecting staffer, ripping the phone out of his ear, and screeching to the person on the other line: "you've been talking to a retard who can't do his job."

Apparently her episodes have been getting more and more violent, so much so that the director and producer on her current project have had to call in reinforcements: her husband is now travelling with her to calm her now legendary temper but also to look after the little one, who has been exposed on more than a few occasions to her viotriolic outbursts. So far...it's working. Everyone is relieved but also extra, extra cautious. Calm before the storm.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 at 11:47 AM

Update (10/15/08):
denial 1: Courteney Cox
denial 2: Jessica Alba
denial 3: Kim Basinger
denial 4: Debra Messing
denial 5: Kate Beckinsale
denial 6: Kate Hudson
denial 7: Nicole Ritchie
denial 8: Jennifer Connelly
denial 9: Rachel Weisz
denial 10: Jennifer Garner & Katie Holmes
denial 11: Salma Hayek
denial 12: Catherine Zeta-Jones
denial 13: Diane Lane
denial 14: Brooke Shields




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Keeping it Legal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Keeping_it_Legal.aspx

I love how often the self righteous, artistic ones are always end up being the douchiest and the perviest.

The backstory:

Several years ago, while dating a high profile, fiery actress, he was on location shooting a movie and found himself one night at a local bar. A young hot thing approached, they flirted, they made the call, and pretty soon she was telling her friends she was heading home with the star, protected by both his bodyguards and a personal driver.

So they get back to his place, start making out, she services him with her mouth, and tries to get him to return the favour, at which point he balks and then, no longer blinded by arousal, finally gets around to asking her:

"Are you really 19?"

Well of course she wasn’t 19. She was actually only 16. And when her guilty face confirmed it for him, he quickly called her a cab and sent her home, not offering to pay for her cab. He did however offer to pay for the silence.

His security detail and the chauffeur, all of whom were witnesses to his tryst with the teen, were compensated handsomely for their discretion. They were so trustworthy that he wanted to use their services again when he returned to town for a new project recently. Unfortunately the same team wasn’t entirely intact.

So instead, now single, he went to great lengths to secure a very capable staff to make sure he didn’t find himself in the kind of icky underage situation as last time. Was like having a personal assistant for the express purpose of getting him head and occasionally laid. Only he was strict about wanting it from “real” girls and not from professionals. Every few days or so, his people had to scour the city looking a girl he could spend a short time with. They’d all start off at a group dinner, and by the end of the night, he’d end up sated at place. A few girls were lucky enough for repeats but effort on his part was never forthcoming.

Still… at the very least… he kept it legal.

Thursday, May 01, 2008 at 9:38 AM

Update (9/10/08):

clue
denial 1: Ryan Phillippe
denial 2: Vince Vaughn & Michael Buble

reveal 1
reveal 2



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A Bitch to Work For

http://laineygossip.com/A_Bitch_to_Work_For.aspx

Successful multi-hyphenate, super well connected personally and professionally with a reputation for being kind and compassionate and evolved.

Wrong.

Maybe for the media and maybe her fashionable celebrity friends, maybe for investors, maybe for executives, but some of her employees would vehemently disagree.

Turns out she’s a little bit of a Miranda Priestly when she comes in to the office. Starts snapping her fingers right away, never remembers anyone’s name, everyone is treated like a personal assistant, dispatched to do her bidding instead of actually getting down to work, recently held up a creative meeting because she wanted whole milk and not cream with her coffen, then 20 minutes into the meeting, she held it up again when her cell phone rang, proceeded to keep everyone waiting another 15 minutes while she discussed measurements on a dress she was having made, did not apologise when she clicked off the line, and instead embarrassed a staffer who returned to the room after having excused himself to take an urgent phone call when she was taking hers.

But all that is rather pedestrian. There are no shortage of bitches in Hollywood. In the grand scheme of things, all that is pretty harmless.

Until you get into job security.

A pregnant member of her staff was scheduled to give birth around crunch time. Her boss’s convenient remedy for the situation was to not hire her back when everyone else returned to work. At the very least she was honest. She told her straight up – your due date doesn’t work for me. I don’t think you’ll be able to contribute in the same way you did before.

So the employee hired a lawyer, a lawsuit loomed, and the boss bitch had to backpedal to the tune of a handsome pay-off (confidential, of course) and several seminars on employee rights although it apparently hasn’t helped.

She’s still super stingy, to the point where she complains about the quality of craft services (it’s too good) and even supplies, haggles over offering vacation pay, and will not foot the bill for staff celebrations and events, even though she regularly hosts lavish affairs at her own mansion for those privileged enough to be invited.

Crazier still, she seems to be clueless when it comes to tact. The other day she said to one of her producers – if you need something to do this weekend, my assistant could use some help planning our reception. You could stay for dinner if you want.

When he declined, she looked at him like he was closing the door to the opportunity of a lifetime.

Before you ask, it’s not the Mighty Opes.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008 at 7:30 AM

Update (10/15/08):
poll
clue 1
clue 2
clue 3

denial 1: Oprah
denial 2: Tyra Banks, Martha Stewart, Vera Wang & Sarah Jessica Parker
denial 3: Victoria Beckham, Kimora Lee Simmons, Rachel Ray & Courteney Cox
denial 4: Catherine Zeta-Jones & Beyonce
denial 5: Kelly Ripa & Victoria Beckham
denial 6: Heidi Klum & Gwen Stefani

reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3

reveal 4



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Good Help is Hard to Find

http://laineygossip.com/Good_Help_is_Hard_to_Find.aspx

Celebrities don’t always have it easy, you know. As is the case with Britney Spears, a competent assistant is a valuable commodity, especially one who won’t sell you out and will still pick up your dirty undies.

But picking up panties is one thing… picking up your drugs is another matter entirely. What’s a highly regarded actor to do when he can’t pay someone to pick up his drugs??? Especially when he has such a voracious appetite?

Given recent events, you’d think he’d know better… and while I can certainly sympathise with a serious addict, how can you sympathise with someone who would rather compromise an employee than risk getting caught?

At least own your own sh*t, you know?

But it’s all about the image isn’t it? He is an acclaimed artist, who is involved and informed and aware, idolised by some for his impish good looks – a selfish junkie isn’t usually what comes to mind. Those in the industry however have surely seen him openly spread his blow all over the dinner table, at any given party, and put half of it into his brain. So brazen is he that he used to carry his stash on his body while travelling, tucked into a coat pocket, cavalierly going through security.

Over the last three months or so however he’s suddenly become a lot more paranoid. And so the task of transporting his happy across borders has rested on his personal assistants. It took her three carries before she finally put her foot down and refused. And got fired for it. The girl who took her place made it only once before quitting herself.

He’s still looking for a replacement.

Substance abuse is one thing. Allowing someone else to take the fall for your addiction is another. Selfish prick.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008 at 8:04:01 AM

Update (9/2/08):
denial 1: Ryan Gosling, Leonardo DiCaprio, Orlando Bloom, George Clooney & Elijah Wood
denial 2: Sean Penn, Colin Farrell & Sean Combs (P Diddy)
denial 3: Jack Nicholson, Toby Maguire, Sean Penn & Jake Gyllenhaal
denial 4: Christian Bale & Jude Law
denial 5: James Franco
clue
denial 6: John Cusack
denial 7: Justin Timberlake
denial 8: Josh Hartnett & Sting
denial 9: Jonathan Rhys Myers
denial 10: Jamie Foxx
reveal


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Her hiring frenzy

http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleDetail.aspx?ID=3336
No one has everything. Even when they seem like they do, there's always something missing. And she's no exception. While her relationship might be mismatched, to say the least, their love appears to be real. Professional success, family support, careers that cross… these two have managed to pull it together and they couldn’t be happier. Except that the thing they want the most has eluded them. The longer it takes, the more she fears that the very personal and very controversial decisions and the discards and the rejections she made while young and ambitious are coming back to haunt her. The problem is - he doesn't know. And since the people who DO know from back in the day are whispering so loudly of late, she's desperate to buy their silence. She's offering money and she's offering jobs. She's calling in favours, she's pulling strings, and she's raising eyebrows. All of a sudden, her projects are completely staffed by those who need to keep her confidence. Which means she's having to answer his questions on that front as well. Poor thing is apparently so stressed out about having to keep all these secrets that she isn't getting much sleep, made worse by the fact that she has to play happy and content all day long. With any luck though, all this will change soon. After all, it's not like they haven't been trying.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Update (7/18/08):
Denial 1: Catherine Zeta-Jones & Michael Douglas

Denial 2: Calista Flockhart & Harrison Ford

reveal

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Cheap & Crafty

http://www.laineygossip.com/Cheap_and_Crafty.aspx

No shortage of classless behaviour in Hollywood and above the maybe gaybe speculation and the drug drama, it’s these stories that are the most shocking:

How can the privileged behave so poorly?

Especially someone who sounds so elegant? Whose record has been spotless and golden?

Then again, it’s always the ones you least expect.

In her case however it’s become an M.O., a trail of cheapness wherever she goes.

So you know when you stay at a hotel, if the soap and bath products happen to be on the higher end, it’s customary to ask for a few refills and take some home? This of course is standard behaviour for US…because we’re broke!

But how about a busy, working actress, married to a busy working man, both with several projects on the go – does it then become less acceptable? Almost shameful? I think so yes.

And still she does it wherever she goes – on junkets, on promotional tours, whenever she’s at a hotel, she orders up extras: extra shampoo, extra lotion, even extra bathrobes, taking EVERYTHING home… yes, even the bathrobes. The bathrobes that are washed then used again by every guest staying in that suite, she insists on bringing it all with her. Including the gifts too.

She is also not shy with special requests. Lighting fixtures, humidifiers, strollers – kinda major items you’d think would be on loan, right?

Wrong.

She packs those up with her too. The woman leaves NOTHING behind.

The question is: what does she do with it all?

Would you believe she gives it to her staff? She saves the little soaps and gels and crafts them into small baskets and presents them to the nannies and the housekeepers as bonuses!

Can you imagine? Can you imagine a Christmas gift basket full of hotel shampoos and conditioners?

I mean How.F&cking.Tacky.

Monday, November 19, 2007 at 9:05:53 AM

Update (10/28/08):

guess 1: Kate Beckinsale
denial 1: Cate Blanchett & Kate Winslet
denial 2: Salma Hayek & Sarah Jessica Parker
denial 3: Gwyneth Paltrow & Hilary Swank
denial 4: Jennifer Garner
denial 5: Angelina Jolie
denial 6: Katie Holmes
denial 7: Catherine Zeta-Jones
denial 8: Brooke Shields
guess 2: Jennifer Connolly

reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3
reveal 4




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Unfunny Douche

http://www.laineygossip.com/Unfunny_Douche.aspx

Primadonna bitch is shooting a movie in Toronto and amazing people with his demands. First he refused to be driven in a limo to the set an hour away and demanded to be helicoptered there instead by his production company. Then his coffee wasn’t made right so a poor intern received the tongue lashing of life. When she started tearing up, he told her to grow a thicker skin. The other day he wouldn’t come out of his trailer because he didn’t get his cappuccino. Word is he sulks for an hour if people don’t fall over themselves quickly or often enough over his sense of humour resulting in much prompting and reminding by assistants to overtly applaud his brilliance. And despite the fact that everyone was initially stoked to work with a local legend, he has, at one time or another, mistreated the entire crew so badly, they are eager to start selling him out.

Wonder how long it’ll take them to figure out he likes boys?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The UnFunny Douche: an update

http://www.laineygossip.com/The_UnFunny_Douche_an_update.aspx

A hometown disappointment continues to disappoint with his ridiculous behaviour and outrageous demands. Still shooting his new movie close to home, apparently he has to wear some kind of prosthetic or padding that makes him hot and is obsessed with trying to cool down. Five personal AC units were installed in his “personal cooling tents” to keep him from overheating and it still wasn’t enough. Crazier still, the tents have to be pre-cooled to await his arrival which is never pre-determined so he had production completely halted for an entire day very recently just to discuss the tent/AC situation, extracting a promise from the crew to have his itinerary and his immediate whereabouts constantly communicated to the “personal cooling tents” so that they can be at exact chill temperatures when he enters.

Longtime fans are shaking their heads at the bizarre antics that don’t seem to be coming to an end. He’s also supposedly pulled out the old favourite – no looking at him without asking for permission. And around town he’s even worse. Many fans who’ve approached in public places for autographs have not only been rudely rebuffed, they’ve pretty much all been told off. But of course he won’t deign to do it himself. He simply looks away and motions for his minion to tell the admirer that he can’t be bothered to talk.

I’m telling you, of all the tips I’ve ever received about celebrity douches on set, he is by far the worst. Ironically enough, even worse than the Alba Demon.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 at 6:23:17 AM


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