Unfunny Douche


Primadonna bitch is shooting a movie in Toronto and amazing people with his demands. First he refused to be driven in a limo to the set an hour away and demanded to be helicoptered there instead by his production company. Then his coffee wasn’t made right so a poor intern received the tongue lashing of life. When she started tearing up, he told her to grow a thicker skin. The other day he wouldn’t come out of his trailer because he didn’t get his cappuccino. Word is he sulks for an hour if people don’t fall over themselves quickly or often enough over his sense of humour resulting in much prompting and reminding by assistants to overtly applaud his brilliance. And despite the fact that everyone was initially stoked to work with a local legend, he has, at one time or another, mistreated the entire crew so badly, they are eager to start selling him out.

Wonder how long it’ll take them to figure out he likes boys?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The UnFunny Douche: an update


A hometown disappointment continues to disappoint with his ridiculous behaviour and outrageous demands. Still shooting his new movie close to home, apparently he has to wear some kind of prosthetic or padding that makes him hot and is obsessed with trying to cool down. Five personal AC units were installed in his “personal cooling tents” to keep him from overheating and it still wasn’t enough. Crazier still, the tents have to be pre-cooled to await his arrival which is never pre-determined so he had production completely halted for an entire day very recently just to discuss the tent/AC situation, extracting a promise from the crew to have his itinerary and his immediate whereabouts constantly communicated to the “personal cooling tents” so that they can be at exact chill temperatures when he enters.

Longtime fans are shaking their heads at the bizarre antics that don’t seem to be coming to an end. He’s also supposedly pulled out the old favourite – no looking at him without asking for permission. And around town he’s even worse. Many fans who’ve approached in public places for autographs have not only been rudely rebuffed, they’ve pretty much all been told off. But of course he won’t deign to do it himself. He simply looks away and motions for his minion to tell the admirer that he can’t be bothered to talk.

I’m telling you, of all the tips I’ve ever received about celebrity douches on set, he is by far the worst. Ironically enough, even worse than the Alba Demon.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 at 6:23:17 AM

blog comments powered by Disqus