Bro Massage

They’ve been friends a long time. Recently worked together. Both family men now supposedly settled down. But not quite.

Several times a week, very late at night, they’d call up for room service together. Oh no, not for food, but for a certain kind of massage. Like…together. They’d get off on it together. Literally. Apparently they’ve been doing this for years. It’s how they bond. Some dudes like beer. These dudes like the hand and mouth special. Lately it hasn’t happened often enough – schedules, kids, etc.

Needless to say, when the opportunity presented itself, they made up for lost time.

Problem: one of the wives found out. Is now threatening to tell the other. Almost like blackmail. She wants them to stop hanging out AND she wants the friend to find her husband a replacement gig to make up for the one he’ll lose if she makes him pull out of their next collaboration. Hollywood wives can wheel and deal, see?

But she’s been placated before. He’s waiting for the rage to go down, and then he’ll buy her off again. A break from the bro massage until then.

Thursday, June 11, 2009 at 6:53 AM

Update (7/28/09):
denial 1: Matt Damon & Ben Affleck
denial 2: Tom Cruise (GMD) & Ben Stiller, Lance Armstrong & Matthew McConaughey

denial 3: Ben Affleck & Casey Affleck, Casey Affleck & Joaquin Phoenix, Sean Penn & Josh Brolin

denial 4: Brad Pitt & George Clooney
denial 5: Tom Cruise (GMD) & John Travolta, Tom Cruise & Will Smith

denial 6: Pete Wentz & Joel Madden, Tobey Maguire & Leonardo DiCaprio

denial 7: Brad Pitt & Sean Penn, Keith Urban & Brad Paisley, Jude Law & Ewan McGregor
denial 8: Ridley Scott & Russell Crowe

denial 9: Hugh Jackman & Liev Schreiber
denial 10: Judd Apatow & Adam Sandler
clue 1
denial 11: Adam Sandler & Rob Schneider; Will Ferrell
denial 12: Keenan Ivory Wayans, Damon Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans (Wayans brothers)

denial 13: Vince Vaugh & Jon Favreau
clue 2
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