"Two girls, one limo" guess 1


Keira Knightley: a protesting jaw?

Uhhhh… NOT sweet.

And yes, I get it that celebrities can’t always looked glammed up the ass every day. But that jaw? That jaw scares me. That is what I call a Bulimic Jaw – my girlfriend Beth, a doctor, can attest to that kind of jaw: jutting out at the corners as a result of too much heaving…though of course, let’s clarify in light of her lawsuit that the mere suggestion of an eating disorder on her part is absolutely absurd right???

After all, those photos of her on the beach a couple of weeks ago, cut abs, not an ounce of fat – those photos are simply the result of working out, eating well, and TOTALLY NOT torturing her own body, right? How could anyone even suggest such a thing???

But that’s exactly what a British rag did at the time, which has resulted in her suing for damages, because NO ONE, NO ONE other than the editors of said publication would, in their right mind, be so Cruise to assume that she’s anorexic, right???

Here’s Keira, in London with her equally overnourished boyfriend, cutting a fine line with their cheekbones, their hippy chic, and of course their love of food. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a healthier couple.

Thursday, January 25, 2007


What problem? There is no problem!

This is Keira Knightley yesterday in London at The Edge of Love afterparty in a gorgeous purple dress looking as healthy as ever. At least in her mind. Remember – she doesn’t have a problem, she’s never had a problem, and you’re not allowed to say she has a problem. Because there is no problem.

Keira according to Keira takes care of herself properly. And if you don’t believe her you’re just a mean gossipy asshole. Yeah, that would be me.

As for her famous pursed lips - a few readers have emailed to defend Keira’s morose mug. You say that the contrived depression is simply a smokescreen for her razorblade teeth. This is maybe the most amazing theory, like, ever.

So Keira knows her smile is scary (surely you’ve seen the underbite, bulimic jaw, crazy incisor combination, right?) and therefore never bares her teeth, resulting in the pouty pissy face we’ve come to know and love.

Makes sense to me.

Does she think of prunes too?

Friday, June 20, 2008 at 5:58 AM


My Olga Kurylenko is in Paris for Fashion Week – at Chanel today and look! Blessed by the Karl himself! Karl seems to be quite pleased by this new Bond girl. But of course not quite as taken as he is by Keira Knightley who is very thin and doesn’t do anything disgusting … like eat food.

Keira was on hand today to support Karl Lagerfeld too. Of course. She is the face of Coco Mademoiselle. That’s a very thick fringe. You like? I think I do. It balances out her bulimic jaw.

Oh hush.

Keira doesn’t vomit!

She’s naturally thin!

And my mother dresses like Jacqueline Kennedy.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 at 2:43 PM
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