"Unpaid Bills," it's not...

Friday, August 01, 2008
PS. Unpaid bills is not about Tori Spelling and her golddigging piece of sh*t prick of a husband Kevin Federline Junior.
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Unpaid Bills

http://www.laineygossip.com/Unpaid_Bills.aspx

You’d think they’d be liquid, you know? Flush from the funds of so many different projects, across so many different mediums, by so many different sources.

But that’s the thing with celebrities. They’re richer than we are, to be sure, but some of them really aren’t THAT rich, especially when you factor in the lifestyle. Being not that rich isn’t a problem. Being not that rich and not paying your bills is a big problem. Being not that rich, not paying your bills, but still spending your balls off is a huge problem.

So they have projects around the house. Some construction here, some wiring there, installations, renovations...it never stops. It never stops because they keep having to hire new people. Inevitably the invoice will arrive, they won’t be able to pay it, so they end up calling someone else to finish the job. They don’t pay those people either.

How f&cking ghetto, non???

Like people who keep taking out credit card after credit card? Only these assholes are wealthy! They have jobs! They earn celebrity salaries!

Which means they’re too stupid to manage their finances and too cheap to figure out their finances before satisfying their non-urgent, vanity-motivated projects at the expense, literally, of labourers and small business owners who trusted the wrong millionaires.

Slowly but surely, they’ve pretty much exhausted the entire contracting community in town, verging on blacklist, and are now several hundred thousand dollars in the hole to several companies in Hollywood. Word is they’re facing legal action, and even a lien on their property...

Probably the reason behind the new round of exploitation. They need the cash.

But do we still care?

A few years ago, before everyone and their eyebrow stylist had a reality show, it was a novel concept. Now? Now they’re totally almost irrelevant – the proof in that lies in a deal one of them tried to strike with the paps recently.

She needed cash so badly, she arranged for some “candids” in exchange for a few quid. Unfortunately her images weren’t selling and the photographers cut her off.

Shame!

Word is, even Phoebe Price out-earns her...

In this economy, how will they ever recover?

Thursday, July 31, 2008 at 8:11 AM

Update (4/2/09):
denial 1: Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott
denial 2: David & Victoria Beckham
denial 3: Jennifer Lopez & Marc Antony

denial 4: Courteney Cox
denial 5: Melanie Brown & Katherine Heigl

denial 6: Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner

denial 7: Pamela Anderson
reveal 1 (Kelly Osbourne)
reveal 2


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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Britney is better…but not that much better. So the court will likely extend her father’s conservatorship today, even though the vast improvement has been remarkable. Good move. She also apparently has a new man in her life: her bodyguard. Of course. It’s the only man who’s been allowed near her for any extended period of time in a long time. Sigh. Why does there always HAVE to be a man? Why can’t girls like Britney stay single?

And I don’t remember…was Brendan Fraser EVER attractive? Dude has never quivered my loins. And he certainly isn’t quivering ANY loins anymore. But even if he did in the past, doesn’t this severe a fall from grace negate any past hotness, real or imagined?

Brendan was in New York yesterday, making the talk show rounds in support of the Mummy movie, almost alarmingly wired up for every interview. Like he was about to come out the tv and shout at you in your living room. Freak.

Thursday, all day blogging, refresh, refresh, refresh!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey
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"Bad Hair and Bug-Eyed" reveal

http://laineygossip.com/Smutty_Tingles_July_29_2008.aspx

Smutty Tingle
Even he has better hair than Brendan Fraser (Dlisted )

Tuesday, July 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
PPS. Mike Myers is not bad haired and bug-eyed. Also not Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
PS. Tobey Maguire’s commitment is not in crisis.
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"Bad Hair and Bug-Eyed," it's not...

Monday, July 28, 2008
PPS. Bad hair and bug-eyed is not Shia LaBeouf. Also not Joaquin Phoenix.
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Monday, July 28, 2008
PS. Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis are not in crisis.
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"Two Boys in the City" Boy #1 clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/New_Kids_on_the_Block_interview.aspx

[Full interview available via the link above. Since the interview post is longer than long, will only post items relevant to Jonathan Knight.]

...

The New Kids are totally worth it.

Jen B was my producer – only the most ardent New Kids superfan on the planet. Like she went to Jordan and Jon’s house and saved a handful of grass from their lawn.

Yes. She did.

And a piece of pizza.

Yes. She did.

....

Donnie came in first. I told him I was a big fan… he pulled me in for a hug. Then it was Jordan (a handshake) and Joey (also a handshake and he smells so good) and Jonathan (hidden behind sunglasses the entire time) who greeted me warmly before throwing himself onto the couch.

...

He was wearing jeans and a white t shirt underneath a blue blazer with a polka dot hankerchief tucked into the breast pocket. The bluest blues, the nicest nose, and not a child anymore. Sasha says that there may have been some eyef&cking on his part at the MMVAs when he came into our lounge on Sunday, which is ironic because Sasha was the one who got eyef&cked by Colin Farrell while I was standing next to her last year at TIFF. Oh yeah Joey’s a charmer. But he’s also a father and a husband and speaks lovingly and often about his baby and wife.

Indeed. Joey McIntyre grew up so hot. He’s like my favourite now.

Actually…they’re all pretty sexy but curiously enough, not Jordan. Jordan who was the object of my 16 year old sex vow. Jordan was kinda bland. We were expecting Jordan to be the ringleader, very vocal, or at least as charismatic as some of the others.

In reality, both Knight brothers sort of fade away, leaving Joey, Donnie, and Danny out front. Donnie speaks the most. Donnie answers every question first. And elaborates. And he’s probably a little more forthcoming than he should be. So much so that he had to write a note to himself on his blackberry about giving too much information.

...

And finally… about Jon. It’s no secret he’s painfully shy. We talked about that: he still has issues with attention, but he says he’s managing the best he can. In person Jon is much better looking. And that long face from before has filled out nicely now. Maybe a little too orange but the best looking, the most handsome one of the lot.

We talked about his thing with Tiffany – do you remember? Then Joey jumped in with a betrayal: Joey and Tiffany the random hookup. Apparently Joe keeps bringing it up, like he can’t let it go. And Jordan was like – dude, you need to stop telling this story. They vowed to never speak of it again.

Tiffany. I think we’re alone now.

...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008 at 2:19 PM
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Brody_Jenner_Chace_Crawford_at_the_MMVAs_2008.aspx

Brody Jenner and Chace Crawford at the MMVAs last night.

Don’t quiver for either. But straight up, boy to boy, it’s Brody all the way.

Seriously… there are those of you who don’t get it. I’m on your side. The frenzy over reality stars is alarming. Having said that, Brody Jenner is the captain of the football team. Of any generation. He is handsome. He is lean but not skinny, well built but not beefcake, and he has good hair. He does not have Jude Law hair. It will not recede when he’s 30. And as an added bonus, Brody is also tall. Like tall without lying about it. Not like “Hollywood” tall where they add 2 inches minimum. Brody is legitimately tall.

He also walks with the air of a boy who has spent his whole life sauntering just ahead of all the other boys. You see it at the mall all the time. In the hallways at school. Not the way a bully charges up to the front but the way the leader takes the lead because everyone else has conceded it. And he accepts it graciously.

Brody has an easy smile, an easy gait, he looks great in pants, and I have to tell you, when he steps up to the bar and orders a drink…yeah, he’s a babe. If that’s your thing, he’s a total babe. But watching Brody isn’t what’s interesting. It’s watching the people around him. The girls around him.

Of course they were swooning. He came into the eTalk Lounge where it was party central and the thing about a guy like Brody is that he’s so becoming every woman thinks she has a chance. She’s like – oh just let me make eye contact. If he sees me, he’ll want me.

How is it that sometimes hope can override reason? What is it in the female DNA that causes us to temporarily abandon common sense when presented with a set of great teeth and hot abs? It wasn’t happening for any of them. But it was like they had all just heard Barack Obama deliver a rousing speech.

Yes we can, they heaved with their bosoms.

No you cannot, you dumb bitches.

This is Brody with Ben Mulroney after their interview. I saw him later upstairs in the private party area. He ordered a drink right away and held court with Kristin Cavallari who was approached for an interview and answered through her publicist that she was done for the night.

What? Who the f&ck are you??? Sit DOWN Kristin Cavallari!

Back to Brody… some girl spotted him from across the room and tried to make her move. She decided to hit the loo first. Bad choice. By the time she came out, he’d stepped away. The look on her face – complete defeat. Like the moment Jennifer Aniston found out about Angelina Jolie.

And then there’s Chace Crawford. Chace Crawford walks around like a sulky baby. When he’s not on the carpet, when the cameras aren’t rolling, he wears a pinched face like he’s so much better than what he’s doing. Like he thinks he should be living George Clooney’s life and the universe conspired against him to change his destiny. Please.

We passed each other just outside the second floor balcony. He was being led through a packed party area to do an interview, shirking away from everyone walking close to him with darty eyes seeking one of those “status” bodyguards favoured by the likes of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.

To his credit, he was obliging with younger fans. Daughters of executives and clients invited inside who approached for a photographs were treated to a few pictures together as his publicist hovered like a hawk. As he stepped into the eTalk area, I saw him stick his finger into his mouth and rub his front teeth before heading in to talk to Tanya Kim.

Now no one wants to be on camera with food in their teeth, but seeing that, and his pretty pretty face, and his perfectly straightened hair, and his grey leather jacket that fit just so, all 5 ft 9 of him (on a good day), there was only word that came to mind to sum it all up:

Meh.

PS. Rumour has it he was looking for somethin’ extra after the show. Am told he found it. Chace partied at Ultra with Brody and Whitney Port later on. eTalk has exclusive photos tonight.

Monday, June 16, 2008 at 11:50 AM
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Ed_Westwick_Penn_Badgley_Chace_Crawford_at_TRL.aspx

Ugh. Hate when this happens. You fall in love with a character and he becomes the hotness. Then the dude gets his picture taken and it all turns to sh*t. Such is the case with Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl. If you’re into him too, stop reading here. The photos will ruin him for you.

Ed Westwick (Chuck), Penn Badgley, and Chace Crawford stopped by TRL the other day to promote the show. As you can see, Ed’s pants have issues. First of all, they sit too high. And the wash is ass. And few boys can pull off the ankle length - he’s not one of them. And Ed, like Chace, has a small case of gay face. Gay face is great for the gays, but not for the girls.

Most alarming though is the chest hair. It’s dark and wiry and scares me.

Am over Chuck Bass.

Hate when this happens.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
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"Bad Hair and Bug-Eyed," it's not...

Friday, July 25, 2008
PPPS. RDJ isn’t the loser with bad hair and bug-eyes. Also not Jude Law…a guess that totally makes my life. That Jude Law is automatically associated with sh*tty hair and too much blow. Hee.
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Friday, July 25, 2008
PPS. Commitment crisis is not about Katie and Peter. Ew. Also not Gwyneth and Chris. What?!?!
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"There's growing concern" revealed again

http://www.laineygossip.com/Smutty_Tingles_24Jul08.aspx

Smutty Tingle

Goodbye Enriquehello food? (Hollywood Tuna)

Thursday, July 24, 2008 at 7:32 AM
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http://laineygossip.com/Brendan_Fraser_at_ShoWest.aspx

Brendan Fraser Has No Friends

Because If he had friends, true friends, they would tell him straight up – dude, don’t fight it man. Just go bald.

Clearly Brendan has no friends. And he no longer has a wife either. Maybe that’s why he’s trying to save his manhood by faking his hair. Or maybe this is what prompted her to leave. I’d seriously consider doing the same if I woke up one morning to the hair plugs from hell in my bed.

Not only is it horror to look at, it also implies the kind of desperate vanity that is always, every time, an instant quiveration killer. When a man is clinging, clinging to every last vestige of youthful hotness he might have had (questionable in Brendan’s case anyway) instead of taking a more chill approach to aging: whatever happens, I’m good with it.

Isn’t that so much sexier? At the very least, isn’t it sexier than what he’s rockin’ now?

This is Brendan at Showest yesterday.

I feel itchy just looking at his head. And frightened looking at whatever peels and treatments he’s applied to his face.

He’s like an Asian baby now. My people, our hair grows UP, you see. Not out but UP. Spiky and straight. And we’re not a hairy lot either. Which is why we so rarely look good in short hair. Girls I mean.

The difference between Brendan and an Asian baby of course is that an Asian baby is a baby. And babies are cute.

Asian babies are not grown men well into their 30s with an inch of scalp in between transplanted follicles. F*ck. Ew! Stop raping my eyes!

Friday, March 14, 2008 at 9:24 AM
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http://laineygossip.com/Brendan_Fraser_hair_plug_miracle.aspx

Seriously…this is a miracle. Nothing short of astounding. Because not too long ago, Brendan Fraser was grasping at wisps. Literally. Back in April, he looked like a newborn manchild with the plugs freshly installed and some kind of microderm abrasion peeling several years off his face.

Now just six months later, it’s like Brendan never left the Cave. Here he is all young and trying to be hot again for the colossal waste of money better known as The Mummy 3.

I’m telling you… Brendan needs to hook up Jude Law up with his hair specialist, non?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
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http://laineygossip.com/Bad_Haired_and_BugEyed_Blind_ItemRiddle.aspx

Which actor has been much too egotistical and much too energetic on press tour recently? Let’s start with the ego first:

He’s not exactly Brad Pitt or the GMD on fame terms and still he travels with a crazy security team and insists on sweeping every location before he will enter. Who the f&ck are you??? Even his own management is snickering at his grossly exaggerated sense of entitlement – hit movies don’t necessarily equate to international superstardom, and while his box office might be lucrative, his celebrity status is decidedly modest.

Still…he insists on super stealth, secret service style maneuvers, and has hilariously mandated that while in public he be referred to by “code name” only. It becomes even funnier when the newly single megalomaniac happens upon an attractive woman. The woman is hustled through stairwells and hallways before their tryst – a procedure so elaborate that last week, his chosen partner for the evening ended up so rattled by the time she arrived at his room, she was no longer in the mood to participate.

And his paranoia is getting worse. It started out as a quirk - several weeks ago he was enthusiastic and perhaps a little particular, but not a paranoid freak. A little blow here and there for extra energy though has become more of a habit and he is getting CRANKED at work. To the point where more than a few journalists have remarked about his over-animated behaviour, as a timid reporter from Asia was frightened and confused during an interview when he became angry at her for refusing to sing karaoke with him. Sorry…I’m a bitch. I had to laugh about that.

Be thankful, dude, for a good publicity team. And for the fact that at the end of the day, it’s really only you.

Thursday, July 24, 2008 at 8:22 AM

Update (8/8/08):
clue 1
clue 2
denial 1: Robert Downey Jr & Jude Law
denial 2: Shia LaBeouf & Joaquin Phoenix
denial 3: Mike Meyers & Jonathan Rhys Meyers
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3



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Thursday, July 24, 2008
PS. Sean Penn’s commitment is not in crisis.
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"Commitment Crisis?" it's not...

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

PS. Will & Jada’s commitment is not in crisis. Also not Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick.


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"Another on the Verge" revealed yet again

http://www.laineygossip.com/Balthazar_Getty_confirms_separation_from_wife_after_being_photographed_naked_with_Sienna_Miller.aspx

Sienna Miller is an easy target, and deservedly so. She’s Tori Spelling, only not f&cking ugly. And not the daughter of a Hollywood gazillionaire. Where culpability is concerned however, he’s the one with 4 kids – the youngest only 10 months old.

So Sienna’s douchebaggery pales in comparison to Balthazar Getty’s. Like KFed Jr, he walked out on his children. Like KFed Jr, he abandoned his babies, although after paps captured him and his new lover licking each other all over Italy last week, Balty is now claiming he and his wife had already been separated:

In light of the fact that many pictures have surfaced in print and on the Internet which has caused myself and my family great embarrassment, I felt it necessary to at least acknowledge publicly that yes indeed my wife and I have separated and I will not be commenting any further. The breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved.

Painful?

Really?

He didn’t look very pained when he was sucking on Sienna’s nipple. Just sayin’.

And to pile sh*t on top of sh*t...Balthazar was once a drug addict and Sienna has been on the verge of a dangerous party lifestyle for far too long. There is some worry that their excesses, when combined, could have dangerous results. Or that when she tires of him, and she will, his sudden sobering reality might be too much to manage.

If you care, click here for photos of Sienna and Balthazar frolicking and fondling in Italy.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 at 7:18 AM
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