"a Friend's Couch" reveal 2

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jennifer_Lopez_and_Marc_Anthony_spotted_together_in_Long_Island_a_month_after_divorce_announcement_1.aspx

Marc will be grovelling


TMZ posted photos yesterday purportedly of Marc Anthony with Jennifer Lopez in Long Island. As you know, she was the one who pushed forward with the break and the announcement. He was trying to hold on. And he still wants to hold on, supposedly in touch repeatedly, at times soft and pleading, at other times hostile, accusatory, and borderline abusive. Getting together for the children sounds like the perfect time to work her down, see if she’ll change her mind.

But here’s how JLo’s publicist responded when TMZ asked for comment about the sighting:

"They are NOT back together -- they were just visiting each other and the children."


I like the capitalisation of NOT. Like, not only were they setting the record straight, but they really, really, REALLY want to set the record straight. That they are NOT BACK TOGETHER. Like the mere suggestion of it is absurd. Like, as if JLo would ever. Which is in line with her publicity playbook since the split, strategically positioning herself in the most sympathetic light without going full victim.

Right now though, the way these patterns work, Marc will be at his best, his most charming, his most romantic, his most appealing. Can JLo keep saying no? Who could she reach out to to help her? Please. If only Gossip could be written like a script.

Thursday, August 11, 2011 at 8:16 AM

a Friend's Couch


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http://www.laineygossip.com/Smutty_Tingles_06jan11.aspx

Was he there for a post break bootycall? Or is he moving his sh-t out? (Celebuzz)

Thursday, January 06, 2011 at 11:09 AM

One line or two lines


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She learns for him, will not leave him

http://www.laineygossip.com/She_learns_from_him_will_not_leave_him_blind_riddle_10aug11.aspx

So much speculation and it’s been going on for years that she will finally leave him because he simply won’t, ever, change. But do you know the lengths she went through to get him, and keep him? Did you know she enrolled in classes at university, not because she was interested for herself, but because she wanted to be able to talk to him about...things? She wanted to be able to keep up. She wanted HIM to know/believe/think she could keep up. She worships his brain. She wanted to make sure that he was finding her brain adequately stimulating.

They say that he’s been trying to get out of there. He hasn’t tried. There has been no attempt. It’s kinda futile. First because, even if he were to want to bail, everyone in his life would be against it, and has warned him of the consequences, but also because she has told him straight up, on several occasions, “I will never leave you”. This one doesn’t get enough credit for her tenacity.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011 at 8:38 AM

Update (8/23/11):


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http://www.laineygossip.com/Tom_Brady_has_better_hair_looks_hot_at_training_camp_with_Patriots_04aug11.aspx

Tom Brady's hair is much better than it's been in a while. Check him out training with the Patriots yesterday. Yay that the league managed to work things out for a new season! This is for Sarah from Cinesnark whose hard-on for him had been waning. Looks a lot hotter, non?

It's all love and peaches right now at training camp for the Patriots as they're just beginning their honeymoon with Chad Ochocinco. But don't get huffy when I say that everyone not on the bandwagon is wondering how long that is going to last. Some personality problems are incurable over the long term. They say that the New England system fixes attitude. Forever? Maybe that's just my Miami Dolphin allegiance coming through. You can imagine then how choked I am now that Marc Anthony owns part of my team, all things considered, couch quarterback aside. Come on, that one was obvious, wasn't it?

If not for Miami though, I'd rather see the Patriots take the AFC East over the New York Jets. Not only because that's Jacek's team, but also because I hate Rex Ryan.

Thursday, August 04, 2011 at 1:44 PM

a Friend's Couch
 
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_03may11.aspx

PS. Click here for your chance at $100 in Biore© product and a riddle about whether or not weight loss comes with memory loss. Easy right?

Tuesday, May 03, 2011 at 4:49 AM


Sponsored Tingles: Reveal The Dirt - Week 4


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http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_29apr11.aspx

PS. Three teleprompters? How many points is that? Click here to Reveal The Dirt with Biore© and win $100 worth of product.

Friday, April 29, 2011 at 1:21 AM


Sponsored Tingles: Reveal The Dirt - Week 3


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http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_26apr11.aspx

PS. She can’t stand it when someone else is smaller, and she also desperately hates her hair colour but can’t change it because of that contract. Click here to Reveal the Dirt with Biore for your chance to win $100 in product.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011 at 6:30 AM

Sponsored Tingles: Reveal The Dirt - Week 2

 
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Index.aspx?DateTo=4/25/2011&DateFrom=4/18/2011&StartIndex=8

PS. This week’s Reveal the Dirt contest – have you entered? Click here and let me know about the girl with the most talent and the biggest projection but who secretly just wants to be the prettiest and the thinnest.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Sponsored Tingles: Reveal The Dirt-Week 2



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"Producer after producer" red herring 1

http://www.laineygossip.com/Kellan_Lutz_compliments_his_own_body_even_though_he_cant_sing_29jul11.aspx

I snarked on Kellan Lutz a couple times yesterday because, obviously.

He is more insufferable to me than ever since Comic-Con. And, you know, if I were him I’d be a little more careful about that secret because it’s no longer a secret anymore. Anyway, my friend Scott in New York, seeing that I was sh-tting on Kellan, being the bitchy, encouraging person that he is, sent me a scan from a recent issue of Us Weekly with an interview of Kellan Lutz. This was his note in the email:

“I've been meaning to send you this. Took a photo on my phone from US weekly maybe a month ago (?). It's an interview with Kellan Douche. WHO answers a question like this?!!”

Here’s the question:

What’s it like being a sex symbol.

Wait!

Don’t open the image yet. Just, just imagine how Kellan Lutz would answer it. Just imagine how he would process it. Remember this is the Jerry Curl who once POSED IN A TREE WITH A BOOK for the paps. Think about how a person like that might respond to that question.

You ready?

Anything you came up with isn’t anywhere near what he put out there.

Q: What’s it like being a sex symbol?

Kellan Lutz: I thank God for blessing me. I can’t really sing, I can’t play guitar but he gave me a physique, which is nice.

As Scott said: Who answers a question like this??!!!

That’s Hollywood, right? They say sh-t, sh-t like this, and NO ONE calls them on it. The people who DO call them on it are banished from the circle. I wonder then how Kristen Stewart handles Kellan Lutz. What she says to him at work the next day about those tree posing book shots. What she must think of him when she reads quotes like this one, how she must have to stop herself from sneering behind his oiled, toned back.

Attached – Kellan earlier this week at a party in New York. You know, the organisers at some of these events usher him in like he’s A List level Brad Pitt. I hate people.

Friday, July 29, 2011 at 8:36 AM

Producer after producer
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Index.aspx?DateFrom=4/11/2011&DateTo=4/18/2011

PS. Win $100 worth of Biore® product plus movie passes if you know your smut! Come on, this one was easy. Both made headlines this week - one for not being careful, and the other for finding a new home. Click here to enter!

Friday, April 15, 2011

PS. Did you enter the Reveal the Dirt contest yet? $100 in Biore© product plus movies passes. Click here for the details and the first clue. All you have to do is tell me who went up and down on each other a few years ago, as both are curiously in the midst of pregnancy speculation at the same time. Easy, right? Also there’s another chance to win on Wednesday with one of my favourites from the gossip hall of fame. That one, however, won’t be so obvious. Study up!

Monday, April 18, 2011


http://www.laineygossip.com/Benicio_del_Toro_and_Kimberly_Stewart_having_a_baby_but_not_together_.aspx

It’s the best recent randomness:

Benicio del Toro’s people have confirmed exclusively to Life & Style (because they went through her garbage and found the pregnancy test? Or because People Magazine wouldn’t pay her?) that he and Kimberly Stewart are having a baby. Jude Law is all like, sh-t that could have been me. And you know Jude. It TOTALLY could have been him.

Have you read the official statement?

Take a look:


"Kimberly is pregnant. Benicio is the father and is very supportive. Although they are not a couple, they are looking forward to the arrival of the baby."

I really love that she had to specify that her client and Kimberly “are not a couple”. So… translation…

You had drunken sex one night without a condom?

Of course of course, taking responsibility is important. Of course it is. Especially when no responsibility was taken in the first place.

Attached – Benicio last month in Havana shooting a movie. Yes that’s Josh Hutcherson, the new Peeta, beside him. This is kinda what Benicio would have looked like when he and Kimberly had sex and made their baby.

Monday, April 11, 2011 at 11:21 AM


http://www.laineygossip.com/Scarlett_Johansson_moves_in_with_Sean_Penn_.aspx


Scarlett moves in

Laura just emailed me:

I’m having…
A really hard time understanding the Scarjo/Penn thing. Usually I can rationalize these odd pairings some way, but this one is beyond me. What is it she’s looking for? An older man? He doesn’t have his sh-t together - he’s NEVER had his sh-t together.


Rebound sex? She could have that with hotter men.


Meaningful conversations about the state of the world? There are more intelligent people to consult.


This is what I’m thinking about today……for no apparent reason.

Jacek meanwhile is on the phone with his buddy Jamie, discussing the Vancouver Canucks defensive strategy tonight when they open Round 1 of the playoffs against the defending champion Chicago Blackhawks who limped into the post season. Now is when our season tickets pay off. We have tickets through the finals. You can imagine then, it’s all Jacek can think about. But does it really matter, sports, in the grand scheme? Does it matter any more than Scarjo and Sean Penn? No. So why do we get maligned for talking about celebrities? Don’t take that sh-t, gossips. Don’t.

Tangent aside…

I wrote back to Laura that it’s because Scarlett is essentially a CHILD. And, as children do, or very immature young women, pretending to be mature women, they hero-worship older men. Even if those older men have a history of alarming behaviour. Evan Rachel Wood? Meet Scarlett Johansson. But hey! Sean Penn has an Oscar and lived in a tent in Haiti! Of course she’s f-cking him. And of course he’s swaggering around like it’s 1985 again with one of the hottest girls in Hollywood.

But never forget…

When you’re in a relationship with Sean Penn, Sean Penn is always #1. Even Madonna had to observe that rule. Good luck with that Scarjo.

Anyway, Us Weekly reports that they’re now homebodies, and enjoy exercising together, and staying home with his kids like they’re all the supporting cast in the movie in his head about his life.

We’ve all been dumb at love. Scarlett is having her dumb love moment.

But my favourite, favourite part of this story is not so much the story than one of the comments that was left on the Us Weekly page about the story by someone called Elizabeth:


Such a pig. She broke up with Ryan what, a few months ago and now she's living with this jerk? Obviously, she cheated on Ryan. Guess she learned absolutely nothing from her role as a cheater in 'He's Just Not That Into You'. Ryan's so much better off without her. Cheaters are the scum of the earth.

And you wonder why I don’t allow comments.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 12:26 PM

Sponsored Tingles: Reveal The Dirt - Week 1


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http://www.laineygossip.com/Scarlett_Johansson_and_Javier_Bardem_filming_in_Spain.aspx

All Men ...

Flock to Scarjo.

Justin Timberlake, Ryan Reynolds, Woody Allen wishes, Benicio del Toro in an elevator, and now co-starring with Javier Bardem. Here they are shooting in Spain. I really want them to be doing it…is that pervy?

Monday, July 30, 2007

Sponsored Tingles: Reveal The Dirt - Week 1


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"Three Weeks," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Colin_Firth_did_a_bad_accent_before_on_Saturday_Night_Live_28jul11.aspx

Also, this was just an excuse to tell you that Colin and Cameron Diaz are NOT the subjects of Three Weeks & a Friend’s Couch Part 1. That’s a really good guess though.

Thursday, July 28, 2011 at 7:36 AM

Three Weeks

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"a Friend's Couch" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jennifer_Lopez_enjoys_freedom_from_Marc_Anthony_on_a_yacht_in_Miami_25jul11.aspx
JLo is free

Jennifer Lopez spent the weekend in Miami, part of it luxuriating on a yacht in a bikini, ready for the next after formally announcing her divorce from Marc Anthony. It's freedom. And relief. And, for us, it's as you've all been agreeing, very good for gossip. This is the most you've cared about her in years.

Comic-Con is a great place to catch up on gossip with sources and compare stories. And at Comic-Con everyone agreed on two things: Justin Timberlake is a twat, and Marc Anthony was not kind to his wife; bitter with insecurity and paranoia, stressed by financial anxiety, and frustrated with the fact that he didn't marry a woman who was content to be quiet and sit by his side, a trophy with a legendary ass.

Marc wanted JLo for a long time. When she finally accepted his advances, he tried to own her. And she was down with that...until she remembered that's not how she was built.

By all accounts she is happy to be without him. And while for the sake of their children they'll try to keep it civil, she also doesn't mind it if the people around her start talking. Loudly. Not just because this is the game she plays but also because she knows she's coming out of her third marriage, she's aware of the reputation, and for whatever reason she wants people to know that it's not that she didn't try, or that she was frivolous about the decisions leading up to and during and after their marriage, but because the marriage became totally unworkable for her, or anybody, regardless of celebrity. Craftily too, she wants women to be able to identify with what's she coming out of, without actually stepping up herself to name what it is.

Since January, when Idol made her relevant again, JLo's career has been on an upward trajectory. It has been boosted undoubtedly by the split, but in order to sustain that, she cannot be seen as a 40-something year old woman who was simply bored by her husband and looking for a younger celebrity boyfriend. Yes it will be super smutty and intriguing to follow what her dating situation is going to be now. But equally as smutty and intriguing will be observing the management of the Freedom of the JLo. We're seeing the beginning of the rollout now.

Ps. How can you see JLo on a boat and not think of Ben?

OMG.

I was just trying to turn the ass-touching part from Jenny From The Block into a gif stumbled across this fan video instead. Behind the scenes when they were shooting. Bennifer. Like, all over each other.

Please.

This will MAKE YOUR AFTERNOON.



Monday, July 25, 2011 at 11:37 AM

a Friend's Couch


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http://www.laineygossip.com/Three_Weeks_and_a_Friends_Couch_blind_riddles_27jul11.aspx

Two separate riddles here...

1. It was instant attraction when they started rehearsals, despite the fact that he’s supposed to be happily married. On set flirtation, some touching in the trailer, soon became after work “prep time”, and heavy petting in the car, and before long it was a full blown affair. May have been a method situation for him, which would surprise no one, but for her, even though she told herself this was a big girl, mature woman thing to do – take a co-star lover – of course she fell in love, although she obediently went back to her boyfriend and tried to shake it off he cut it off after three weeks as soon as his wife came over to stay. He seems to be able to pretend like it never happened. Which, naturally, is confusing her because she thought it was so real. Of course she did. As it happened, there was a break in the schedule and they haven’t had to work together for a while, much to the studio’s relief. These are big names on a big film with big expectation and there was already enough drama last time around. But shooting with everyone resumes again in a few days, and they’ll be sending an executive to stay around through the stretch to keep a close eye. Babysitting is exactly what it is.

2. Here’s a story her side has been working hard to put out there: that one night he hurt her so badly she had to leave and because she’s so famous, and was so distraught, a hotel wasn’t an option. So she drove herself – a crazy notion in and of itself – to a friend’s, and actually slept on the couch, also hard to believe. But home was supposedly not a safe place for her that night. This is why they’re helping her make a new one.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011 at 7:32 AM

Update (2/29/12):
# 1: Three Weeks
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3
reveal 4
  

# 2: a Friend's Couch
clue
reveal 1
reveal 2
 

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http://www.laineygossip.com/Julia_Stiles_moves_on_from_Dexter_with_costar_David_Harbour_19jul11.aspx

She has a thing for co-stars

Well, at least this one isn’t married. In that respect, it’s almost exactly what Claire Danes went through, only without the pregnancy. Mary Louise Parker was expecting with Billy Crudup when he left her for Claire. That was a tumultuous, tortured relationship which almost killed Angela Chase for us forever. And then Claire went on to make a movie with Hugh Dancy and finally shook it off.

Julia Stiles of course was a rather significant addition to the Dexter cast last season, on screen and off. There’s been no definitive, definitive word on whether or not she’s coming back for Season 6 but most signs point to the fact that Lumen is gone, on screen and off. For now.

Check out Julia with her new man, actor David Harbour, unable to contain themselves in New York yesterday. Julia and David just worked together on a movie called Between Us. This relationship appears to be a lot less fraught with drama and awkwardness and ex-wives on the set.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011 at 9:04 AM

About that breakup

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"From SMUT 2011" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Anne_Hathaway_Harpers_Bazaar_2011_29jun11.aspx

First up about the clothes – I love the clothes, and the styling is beautiful. And you’ll note too when you go through the images online that they price them out for you, kinda like a reminder that you can’t afford it. Even the black embroidered Miu Miu is over 4 grand. And Hailee Steinfeld these days is selling the brand. She’s 14. I guess that’s what 14 year old girls spend on clothes these days. The white sweater she’s wearing in this shot attached by the phone booth? Over a thousand.

Still, Anne Hathaway looks lovely. And elegant and fresh and sophisticated but not too much.

Have you read the article? The article is typical Anne. Anne is exactly what you saw at the Oscars. Over enthusiastic, some would consider it cloyingly so, and super aw-shucksy, rather introspective, and, ugh, at the end of it a little Jennifer Aniston chicken-soupy. It was a fleeting moment of irritation for me though. After all, it’s not like we didn’t know this about her and how she is. And she seems to have some self awareness about it too, especially in reference to James Franco’s dickhead comments about her post-Oscars on Letterman when he basically said he only seemed stoned and disinterested because she was so freakishly hyperactive by comparison. F-ck you asshole. She was compensating for your SUCK.

When asked about Franco’s disparaging remarks, Anne was predictably diplomatic. You could even call it classy. Actually kind of impressive. She didn’t deny that it was an insult. She didn’t pretend that he was misinterpreted. But she also didn’t engage in any ugliness about it either:


"How did I take it? I let James know that a whirling dervish is a more flattering comparison than a Tasmanian devil. I called him, and we e-mailed a bit. In the grand scheme of things, I got to have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I met great people, wore beautiful clothes. And I got to put on a show. I don't see a downside. Anyone who disliked my personality probably disliked my personality before the Oscars."

I do worry about Anne though when it comes to relationships. She alludes to the fact that when she was with that crook Raffaello Follieri she was the ultimate “people pleaser” and that she lost herself in being with him.


"There's something very addictive about people pleasing. It's a thought pattern and a habit that feels really, really good until it becomes desperate. It's one of the reasons that relationship ended. I wasn't able to grow or foster anything. I think a lot of girls have that story. It's a big moment when you step away from that and say, 'I'm going to be exactly who I am. And I'm going to be brave enough to only be with someone who wants me the way I am.'"

By comparison, with her current boyfriend Adam Shulman things are a lot less dramatic:


"So far, it's worked out great," she says matter-of-factly, observing that she used to get caught up in the intensity of a romance. "Which has its wonderful side, of course," she adds with a half shrug, "but also it was exhausting, and sometimes it would freak me out. Mellow doesn't always make for a good story, but it makes for a good life."

It’s telling, non? To go from someone who compulsively pleased people to an existence where she has had to learn, to teach herself, what not to give away? Love for Anne can’t be chill. Anne prefers her love all-consuming, devastating, maybe even destructive. This is why I’m concerned. Because ultimately she’s going to go looking for that. And the consequences for her...they will be terrible. Don’t argue with me yet. Wait for it first. Give this a year, maybe even less, and we just might find out some things.

To read more about Anne in Harper’s Bazaar and to see the photos click here. It’s a fluff piece but it’s also unintentionally insightful.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011 at 9:02 AM

From SMUT 2011

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A blind item given verbally at SMUT 2011 on 20 June 2011.
  • MAJOR superhero/comic book franchise
  • 2 big stars hooking up/messing around
  • One is married
Update (7/27/11):

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From The Society Global Facebook Liveblog on 21 June 2011.
That didn't take long riddle, Reese?
Lainey Smut Soiree no
That didn't take long

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From The Society Global Facebook Liveblog on 21 June 2011.

hey Lainey! you posted a blind about a gym locker and a vacuum sealed package - any more hints on who that is??
Lainey Smut Soiree Hmmmm... how big is your entourage?
Locker Room duties

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Sponsored Tingles: Reveal The Dirt - Week 4

http://www.laineygossip.com/Sponsored_Tingles_Reveal_The_Dirt_Week_4_advertorial_04may11.aspx

At some point you have to stop telling him to wipe his nose. Because it turns out the constant snot on both sides is actually leftover residue from something. And, well, if he’s going to keep doing it, boogers in the photos is the least of his problems.

Wednesday, May 04, 2011 at 7:36 AM

Update (8/9/11):

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