PS. Carrie Underwood is a total bitch, yes. But she’s not this total bitch who actually isn't alone. A dude has now joined the No Talking Club. More on that later.
Monday, March 03, 2008
PS. Carrie Underwood is a total bitch, yes. But she’s not this total bitch who actually isn't alone. A dude has now joined the No Talking Club. More on that later.
PS. Carrie Underwood is a total bitch, yes. But she’s not this total bitch who actually isn't alone. A dude has now joined the No Talking Club. More on that later.
http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Simpson_Brad_Pitt_Nick_Lachey_Nick_and_Jessica_are_over.aspx
I now realize that the cackle I kept hearing yesterday was coming from Janice Min and the clever folks at US Weekly. Nevermind that they f&cked up Jennifer Garner’s due date! Never mind that they were frauded by the fake Brad Pitt last Spring and have chosen to conveniently forget about April Florio! In the face of too many Simpson denials, US Weekly has found vindication and at this point - is anyone really surprised? As you must all know by now, Nick and Jessica released a joint statement to US Weekly last night that they have separated. We have all been asked to respect their privacy and sympathise with them during this difficult time, which is kinda funny because something tells me Nick isn’t exactly grieving this Thanksgiving, if you know what I mean.
As I reported last month, the push to see this over and done with came from Nick. He’s been fed up with her sh*t for months. And, ever mindful of the importance of timing in Hollywood, it’s actually a better career move for him right now to be single and available and no longer attached to that big mouth and her insufferable father. Even as we speak, I hear that Team Lachey is repackaging their product and you can expect a new player on the scene in the coming months - complete with wet and wild club visits, flanked by a new posse of p*ssy hunters, and perhaps even a high profile fling with a member of the Hollywood Slut Brigade, just to throw some Jackass back in Jessie’s face.
Unfortunately for Jessica, things aren’t looking so swell. A large majority of her fan base remains mired in the illusion that she is still a sweet girl, happily married and devoted to her husband, which in turn made her sexy as opposed to slutty, unlike her blonde Hollywood counterparts. Hard to believe for you and me…but if you recall my encounter with those 2 hockey whores a few weeks ago, there are many, many people out there who piddle around in kindergarten level gossip and cannot see through the fraud. Now that her marriage has crumbled, after so many denials, even the most hardcore Simpson supporters will be hardpressed to deny what has been hinted at for the past year. The “happy”, the trailer activity with Johnny Knoxville, the finger action with Cacee and other big lipped Hollwood starlets (ahhh…is there a blind item in there??) – tell me, who is coming out of this relationship on the loser end?
According to my sources, the Simpsons desperately tried to hold on to this marriage for as long as they could because when you think about it – if she’s single, what really sets her apart from Paris and Lindsay and Hilary and every other two bit crack ho running around town? The market is saturated with sluts and if she really wants to chart her own course, her father has some serious work ahead of him. Which is why poor Jessie is currently hunkered down in Waco strategizing her next move. And let’s pray they can come up with something more imaginative this time. Enough with the sugar sweet kisses and dessert bullsh*t. If you ask me, I’d totally fire her creepy dad and push for an immediate public hook up with Johnny Knoxville. It’s bold, it will keep both of them in the tabloids for weeks, and while it will certainly turn off the judgmental, right wing, paranoid, housewives of middle America, it will also serve as an announcement that this is a strong, sensual, passionate woman who wants what she wants and gets what she wants. Bring out your inner whore, Jessica. We can’t wait to see the real you.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
http://www.laineygossip.com/Mischa_Barton_Elisha_Cuthbert_didnt_even_bother.aspx
Another Canadian committing fashion crimes in Hollywood. What the frick is going on? Has Shania Twain infected them all??? I’m all over extensions when they’re well done. In fact, if I didn’t have to deal with donors and clients, I’d get myself a Mischa Barton weave and go rank at da club. Elisha’s ghetto locks however leave much to be desired. I don’t understand why the top is straight and the bottom half is all kinky. In fact, why even bother going to a swanky cancer benefit and putting on an expensive dress to get photographed when you can barely lift your finger to make the effort? I don’t get it.
I also don’t get why she’s dating that moron Sean Avery. For those of you who don’t follow hockey, he plays for the LA Kings and according to many players in the league, he’s a redneck bigot. (is that redundant???) We’re not even at the halfway mark of the season yet and he’s managed to piss off French Canadians and blacks. Quite a charmer, non? And it begs the question…what the hell is she doing with him???
Thursday, December 15, 2005
http://www.laineygossip.com/Michelle__Rodriguez_From_Sarah_on_SMG_and_Freddie.aspx
Curious on your take on Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. I have to admit to loving SMG's diva-in-training self once upon a time. I even somewhat liked her hookup with FPJ since she managed to snag him when he was at his peak, and she appeared to clearly run that relationship. But now, it's years later, he's a laughingstock, and she doesn't seem to have wised up and dumped his untalented ass. Please tell me things aren't as sweet as they appear with these two? They've gotta be on the verge of calling it quits, right? Is there any gossip on these two?
Dear Sarah,
Are things sweet? Hmmmm…I'd say they're sweeter than they were a few months ago. As for him being a laughingstock - if you mean the spectacular failure that is now his acting career then yes, I'd have to agree. But from what I understand, he's a pretty talented writer and I wouldn't count him out in that department quite yet. He also loves his wife, despite her ambitious, dangerous flaws and to be honest, if anyone needs wising up in this relationship, it's probably him. Love is blind, non?
Monday, March 13, 2006
http://www.laineygossip.com/Michelle__Rodriguez_From_Maureen_in_Toronto_SMG_clings_to_love.aspx
I was wondering if 'clinging to love' is Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr?
Dear Maureen,
While your smutty instincts are definitely onto something, your direction is a bit off. Sarah and Freddie may have their own illicit pleasures, but when it comes to their love it is legit…for now.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Friday, February 29, 2008
PPS. No Looking, Talking, Breathing is not Paula Abdul. Also not Alicia Keys.
PPS. No Looking, Talking, Breathing is not Paula Abdul. Also not Alicia Keys.
Friday, February 29, 2008
PS. Just to make it super, super clear for those who skim the site (for shame!) Eggs in Public was revealed yesterday. Yes. Yes it was.
PS. Just to make it super, super clear for those who skim the site (for shame!) Eggs in Public was revealed yesterday. Yes. Yes it was.
http://www.laineygossip.com/Charlie_Sheen_His_Celine_experience_continued.aspx
Last clue: it's not Charlie Sheen. I'm shutting him down on the weekend so you have one more guess. Good luck.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Thursday, February 28, 2008
PPPS. Whitney Houston is not the crazy bitch who won't let you look at her. Nor is it Erykah Badu. Or Jessica Simpson.
PPPS. Whitney Houston is not the crazy bitch who won't let you look at her. Nor is it Erykah Badu. Or Jessica Simpson.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
PPS. Vin Diesel might be gay and broke - otherwise why would he be shooting Fast & Furious the fourth instalment??? – but he’s not the gay you’re looking for.
PPS. Vin Diesel might be gay and broke - otherwise why would he be shooting Fast & Furious the fourth instalment??? – but he’s not the gay you’re looking for.
http://www.laineygossip.com/The_Rich_Wretch_Too.aspx
Who was in Toronto the other night, attempting to dance while her ex BFF’s ex fiancé worked the tables, and ended up spending half the night in the staff toilet drunk off her tree wretching her face off, irritating employees and sending them scurrying for disinfectant and antibiotics for fear of viral contamination?
It IS who you think it is.
Friday, September 07, 2007 at 7:15 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Ben_Affleck_Jimmy_Kimmel_video.aspx
Have received emails from many of you re: Ben Affleck’s absence at the Oscars but there really is nothing smutty to report. And even if there was, do you really think Taupe would let that go? Since marrying Ben and birthing Violet, ingratiating herself to the Mommy Majority, Jennifer Garner’s career is hotter than ever. You really think she’d kill that illusion and jeopardise her newfound status??? This girl is as cunning at Katherine Heigl and Jennifer Aniston. Don't let the dimples fool you.
As for why Ben did not show up to support Casey and Juno – my sources say the rationale is actually kinda sweet.
First, he did not want to upstage his brother. It was Casey’s night as the nominee and it’s not ego to acknowledge that when it comes to media interest, Ben and Jen would upstage Casey and Summer every time.
Next, it’s been 10 years since Ben and Matt won for Good Will Hunting. Matt wasn’t there. Am told that Ben felt it just wouldn’t be right going back this year without his BFF. Awwww…
Instead, he chose to honour his BFF with Jimmy Kimmel. I’ve seen the video (thanks for all your messages), I love the video, just as much as I love the original – Sarah Silverman’s I’m F&cking Matt Damon.
This time it’s Jimmy’s revenge: he’s f&cking Ben Affleck with the help of a super star-studded cast in an homage to We Are The World. Hilarious. Especially Josh Groban who I normally cannot bear. But as soon as he started taking the piss out of his own piano opera boy image, it was all good. Harrison Ford was a nice touch too. Why have babies when you can dick around with Jimmy and Ben?
If on the off chance you still haven’t seen it, click here for the Kimmel clip Kimmel clip. It’s actually worth at least 2 views.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008 at 7:28 AM
Have received emails from many of you re: Ben Affleck’s absence at the Oscars but there really is nothing smutty to report. And even if there was, do you really think Taupe would let that go? Since marrying Ben and birthing Violet, ingratiating herself to the Mommy Majority, Jennifer Garner’s career is hotter than ever. You really think she’d kill that illusion and jeopardise her newfound status??? This girl is as cunning at Katherine Heigl and Jennifer Aniston. Don't let the dimples fool you.
As for why Ben did not show up to support Casey and Juno – my sources say the rationale is actually kinda sweet.
First, he did not want to upstage his brother. It was Casey’s night as the nominee and it’s not ego to acknowledge that when it comes to media interest, Ben and Jen would upstage Casey and Summer every time.
Next, it’s been 10 years since Ben and Matt won for Good Will Hunting. Matt wasn’t there. Am told that Ben felt it just wouldn’t be right going back this year without his BFF. Awwww…
Instead, he chose to honour his BFF with Jimmy Kimmel. I’ve seen the video (thanks for all your messages), I love the video, just as much as I love the original – Sarah Silverman’s I’m F&cking Matt Damon.
This time it’s Jimmy’s revenge: he’s f&cking Ben Affleck with the help of a super star-studded cast in an homage to We Are The World. Hilarious. Especially Josh Groban who I normally cannot bear. But as soon as he started taking the piss out of his own piano opera boy image, it was all good. Harrison Ford was a nice touch too. Why have babies when you can dick around with Jimmy and Ben?
If on the off chance you still haven’t seen it, click here for the Kimmel clip Kimmel clip. It’s actually worth at least 2 views.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008 at 7:28 AM
PPS. Diva bitch at the photo shoot is not Katherine Heigl, not Jennifer Lopez, not Madonna.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
http://www.laineygossip.com/Ralph_Fiennes_The_Daily_Horny_Bastard_Ralph_Fiennes.aspx
Dude is out of control…and I LOVE it!
First the mile high invitation, then the naked yoga details, now it’s naked swimming in Belgium with a pool-full of young women… four lasses to one Ralph – the man clearly has a raging libido, pervy on anyone else, but totally hot where Ralph Fiennes is concerned.
And why is that? Why do some men get a Pervy Pass while others, like Nicolas Cage, don’t?
Ralph Fiennes still trumps Nicolas Cage... right?
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
http://www.laineygossip.com/Faith_Hill_Nicolas_Cage_preggers.aspx
So Nic Cage knocked up his mail order wife Alice and they're expecting a baby later this year. Which, if you think about it, is really just textbook...and a brilliant move on her part. At the tender age of 20, she's now quadrupled her worth, gone from waitress to Beverly Hills housewife, produced a goldmine, and will still only be in her mid-twenties when he leaves her with a rich alimony settlement in a few years. Damn. Wish I had that kind of luck when I was younger...
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
So Nic Cage knocked up his mail order wife Alice and they're expecting a baby later this year. Which, if you think about it, is really just textbook...and a brilliant move on her part. At the tender age of 20, she's now quadrupled her worth, gone from waitress to Beverly Hills housewife, produced a goldmine, and will still only be in her mid-twenties when he leaves her with a rich alimony settlement in a few years. Damn. Wish I had that kind of luck when I was younger...
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
http://laineygossip.com/No_Looking_No_Talking_No_Breathing.aspx
Diva antics are rather pedestrian these days so it takes a super bitch and her ass attitude to really push the envelope.
A photo shoot with a major artist. Much is riding on her new project. Everyone is busting their balls to make her look good. But it’s hard with these instructions:
Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her, and … don’t even breathe in her direction.
Don’t breathe in her direction!
Worse still – not sure if you know what it’s like at a photo shoot but the lighting, the set, the hair, the makeup, the equipment, it can all get pretty technical, especially for someone this important. Unfortunately, she couldn’t pose with people standing around. Girl has filled stadiums and she can’t have her photo taken with a room full of staff? Please.
So after lining up every shot, everyone but the photographer had to leave the room. Needless to say, things need tweaking from minute to minute. Literally, he would take one frame and have to call out to bring someone back in for an adjustment before moving on. Imagine – every move required another callback to have someone else run in to make a quick fix only to dash back out.
Needless to say, this extended the shoot time exponentially. And under those conditions, people are not going to be inspired to put out their best work.
Why is this such a mystery anyway? The nicer you are, the nicer you get back! Is it so hard? Is is physically difficult to be nice?
And seriously…who is she anymore anyway? She needs it more than they do. The way she’s acting though, she’ll be staring another failure straight in the face.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008 at 9:33:36 AM
Update (10/15/08):
denial 1: Katherine Heigl, Jennifer Lopez & Madonna
denial 2: Whitney Houston, Erykah Badu & Jessica Simpson
denial 3: Paula Abdul & Alicia Keys
denial 4: Carrie Underwood
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3
http://www.laineygossip.com/Eggs_in_Public.aspx
At an Oscar party on Sunday night, he's been drinking, she's been nagging. Turns into a huge, embarrassingly loud argument about the most personal of matters: she wants babies, he doesn't, and they proceed to yell at each other about it in front of a large audience.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008 at 6:22 AM
Update (7/8/08):
denial: Eva Longoria
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3
At an Oscar party on Sunday night, he's been drinking, she's been nagging. Turns into a huge, embarrassingly loud argument about the most personal of matters: she wants babies, he doesn't, and they proceed to yell at each other about it in front of a large audience.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008 at 6:22 AM
Update (7/8/08):
denial: Eva Longoria
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3
http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleDetail.aspx?ID=4207
Speaking of publicity stunts…here we go again. As you can see, Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman were snapped at the beach the other day, inspiring renewed interest in a possible romance, especially since he was also photographed a few weeks ago giving her flowers on her birthday.
I can see why it would be tempting to believe this. They do make a ridiculously adorable couple, don't they? Unfortunately, I'm compelled to tell you again what I told you back then. They are friends and friends only. Because Natalie is involved in a serious relationship with Gael Garcia Bernal, with whom she shared an apartment in Toronto during the Wonder Emporium shoot. What this is, my fellow gossips, is a public ruse to throw people off the private truth, to protect her real love from prying pappies and to conveniently 'confirm' Jake's heterosexuality as well.
As for that chronic mystery - no, I still don't think he's gay. And for what it's worth, none of my sources think he's gay either. They do however think that Vince Vaughn is. But you've heard that rumour already, right?
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
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