"10 years too early" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Paris_Hilton_Elton_John_Nicky_Hilton_The_Daily_Ugly_Shannen_Doherty.aspx

I always loved Brenda more than Kelly. What's not to love? The dramatics, the tears, the manipulation. Was there ever an actor who could deliver the line 'I hate you!' with more conviction than Shannen Doherty? Through it all, because of my neverending devotion to Brenda...the Judd Nelson phase, the Ashley Hamilton era, the Charmed saga, and of course the Rick Salomon/Paris Hilton love and sex and war triangle...through it all I have stood by Shannen. But the time has come to face facts. It has been 15 years. And in those 15 years, there's been some hard living, even a couple of arrests if memory serves. So I guess it should be no surprise that Shannen's looking rough. But this rough?? Those wrinkles around the eyes, the dry geriatric skin...And for the love of John Frieda, would it kill her to get a new hairstyle?? I'm thinking Botox honey. Or a miracle facial. Whatever works...you do it. Because Brenda Walsh would never be caught dead looking this bad!! You hear me girlfriend??? Pull it together! If you're old, it means I'm old...and I AM NOT OLD!!!!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

"10 years too early" clue

"10 years too early" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Memo_to_Shannen_new_hair_needed.aspx

There is no excuse for having the same hairstyle for 10 years. Especially if you are, on a good day, a B-list celebrity. Yes Shannen, we know that it's hard to let go of the past…of the golden 90210 years…of the only highlight in your otherwise mundane career. But Brenda Walsh moved to London and left Dylan behind. Isn't it about time for you to do the same???

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

"10 years too early" clue

"The Non-Marital Bed," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Brad_Pitt_The_NonMarital_Bed.aspx

And it's NOT Brad Pitt.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

"The Non-Marital Bed," it's not...

"The has been" revealed

http://www.laineygossip.com/Brittany_Murphy_The_Daily_Ugly_Brittany_Murphy.aspx

I have always tried my very best to say nice things about Brittany Murphy because I honestly - and perhaps stupidly - think she's a rare kind soul in a sick, sick town. I agree that she doesn't eat. I also agree that she goes to the bathroom a lot and doesn't always use the toilet. But I've had the opportunity to observe her, live and up close, and the girl was a sweetheart. She had a smile and a polite 'thank you' for everyone. She carried her own baggage. Let me repeat. She carried her own baggage. She tipped well. She did not throw a hissy fit when her shoes got wet. And she made eye contact with the minions who stood by and gawked. I admired that.

Brittany's problem isn't her personality. Her problem is her packaging. There is a large part of her that will always be a little bit junkie skank and instead of embracing this with an edgy, unique style, she keeps trying to erase it with high end couture and designer labels that look ridiculously out of place. Here she is at the premiere of Domino this week. The hair? Wrong. The shoes? Wrong. The pose? Atrocious. In fact, she's not the only one guilty of this particular crime. Low classy posing is actually reaching epidemic proportions in Hollywood and if you happen to have an entrepreneurial spirit, I encourage you to take out a small business loan and start your own school for celebrity strut. I guarantee you'd make a killing.

But back to Brittany. Some girls just aren't meant for elegance and sophistication, you know what I mean? And it's not necessarily a bad thing. Originality is paramount and she has so much potential. So Brittany darling, if you're out there, on the slim to nothing chance that you are reading - celebrate your inner trash. We'll love you for it.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

"The has been" revealed

"Strong and not" clue/incident

http://www.laineygossip.com/Rocco_Ritchie_Mrs_Ritchie_takes_a_fall.aspx

Poor Madge. On her 47th birthday, she goes horseback riding and ends up falling off. There were a few broken bones and several cracked ribs but it looks like our girl is going to OK. Don’t underestimate the Kabbalah/yoga combination. It’s miraculous. And I assure you, come November, she’ll be back to Vintage Madge, promoting her new dance tracks and hopefully NOT shoving her red string devotion down our throats. I can’t wait!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

"Strong and not" clue/incident

"Switch hitter" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Colin_Farrell_Brad_Pitt_Victoria_Beckham_The_Daily_Ugly_Colin_Farrell.aspx

From Dublin to Des Moines, Colin Farrell has an endless line of p&ssy waiting for him in every city. Two years ago, I could accept this. Two years ago, I might have put my own chacha on the Farrell bandwagon. But not anymore. Because I don't dig grease monkeys. Nor do I particularly like men with long hair, an extra layer of chubb, and too many accessories around his neck. I'm well aware that Colin is frontin' the South Beach look for the new Miami Vice...but still. I think we can all agree this is not his best. In fact, I think we can all agree that this look doesn't work for ANYONE - even Brad Pitt. So consider the following a public service announcement for all you dudes out there. Read carefully. We don't dig the curly bob. Keep your hair short. You aren't David Beckham...so don't even go there. If you have excessive body oil, pick up a toner (try Fresh Rose Marigold Tonic Water, available at Kiss & Makeup of course!) and control those sebaceous glands. Next: Get rid of the voodoo chains you bought in Cancun last winter. I don't care how good it looked on vacay, it doesn't in the city. And finally...do up your f&cking shirt. One button is fine. If it's hot, you can get away with two. But any more than that and you'll be riding hospitality for the rest of your life. Remember - if it isn't working for Colin Farrell...it isn't going to work for you.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

"Switch hitter" clue

"Her problem is her happy" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jennifer_Aniston_Michelle__Rodriguez_Sarah_and_Freddie_are_they_next.aspx

In case you hadn’t noticed, there appears to be a divorce epidemic raging through Hollywood. So who’s next? Well, if you believe my spies who saw them this weekend, we might have to keep a close eye on Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. They flew out to NYC on Saturday and, according to my sources, didn’t speak to each other during the entire flight. They’ve also been rather sour faced around the city which could easily be attributable to her notorious attitude problem but also might have to do with the fact that after a relatively low key couple of years, both are ready to test the fame waters once again. He’s got a new tv show that apparently sucks, and she’s yet another former telly star trying to launch a legitimate film career – as if one Jennifer Aniston wasn’t enough.

From what I understand, we’re not quite in panic territory just yet. But my smutty sense is tingling…

Sunday, October 02, 2005

"Her problem is her happy" clue

"Ph.D. in C," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Last_Word_for_Thursday_September_22_2005.aspx

Take some time with this one, OK? Discuss it with other smutters, run through your list of options before you email me. I really, really have to be sparing with clues. Sorry, but this one is tricky and I have to cover my Chinese ass! And no, it's not Colin Farrell and it's NOT Owen Wilson. Have a great weekend! Til next time, I am yours in gossip,

Lainey

Thursday, September 22, 2005

"Ph.D. in C," it's not...

"The Celine experience" revealed

http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleDetail.aspx?ID=2568

Last Word

Lovely way to start the weekend, doncha think? Why don't I make it even lovelier by teasing you a little with another exclusive tidbit. My sources say Ethan Hawke has set his sights on Sienna Miller, who's been kickin' it in NYC lately. Which is great news. The dude has to get out now and again, you know? Now I'm not saying we have lift off…but it's best to stay tuned.

More on Sunday night. Til then, I am yours in gossip,

Lainey

Friday, October 21, 2005

"The Celine experience" revealed

Poll Results: A Bitch to Work For

A Bitch to Work For

Poll Results: A Bitch to Work For

"No Looking, No Talking, No Breathing" revealed

http://laineygossip.com/Janet_Jackson_in_Versace_at_Costume_Institute_Gala.aspx

Seriously…

I felt badly for Janet Jackson. I mean it’s Janet Jackson, right? She released a new album this year which has totally unperformed, it’s been all Mimi and Madonna and no Damita Jo, and she showed up on the carpet tonight and all of us on the press line were like – oh yeah, Janet Jackson. Sure let’s get her if we can, but not if it means missing JLo or TomKat or Scarlett or the Olsens or Posh and I’m telling you, the list went on and on.

For some reason, somehow, Janet Jackson has become a “nice to have” but not a “MUST have”.

Sucks to be Janet.

She did look good though. She looked as good as she did a decade ago. Her body was tight. Her hair was an improvement on the White Snake thing she was rocking a few weeks ago, and she and Jermaine Dupri had a sweetness about them that was endearing and authentic but let me ask you this…

Do you care to keep reading? Or would you prefer to on to someone else?

See what I mean?

Karma Calamity is a bitch.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 at 4:55 AM

"No Looking, No Talking, No Breathing" revealed

"Holiday Detox" revealed

http://laineygossip.com/Liv_Tyler_Iron_Man_screening_in_New_York.aspx

Thanks for your emails this morning. As requested more photos of Liv Tyler are attached. Especially of her shoes.

Per the Gwyneth posting earlier, Liv showed up at the Iron Man screening in New York looking healthy and well rested after taking some time off to be with family before she herself begins heavy promotion for The Hulk. As you can see, like Gwyneth, Liv cut off several inches too. Gorgeous.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 at 7:44 AM

"Holiday Detox" revealed

"Keeping it Legal," it's not...

Monday, May 05, 2008

PS. Vince Vaughn is not the star of Keeping It Legal . Neither is Michael Buble. Literally.

"Keeping it Legal," it's not...

"Keeping it Legal," it's not...

Friday, May 02, 2008
PS. Keeping it Legal is not Ryan Phillippe.

"Keeping it Legal," it's not...

"Keeping it Legal" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Edward_Norton_speaks_at_Earth_Day_rally_in_Washington.aspx

Earth Day is tomorrow and yesterday in Washington, at a rally at the National Mall, Edward Norton delivered a speech about going green looking hotter than he has in a long time. Yum.

Green seems to be his favourite colour these days. Ed wrote the screenplay for and starred in the upcoming Incredible Hulk movie due out this summer and word is he’s been a major pain in the ass with rewrites and edits, so much so that Marvel allegedly is starting to leak that he’s a difficult diva perfectionist who thinks his own vision is superior to the director’s.

If true, it’s not the first time he’s battled with the studios. A few years ago, he and Paramount went head to head also over his artistic demands and Ed is said to be brutally stubborn over creative differences. Kinda love him for that.
But back to Earth Day… for parents and teachers looking for creative and educational ways to engage yours kids in earth awareness – check out the award winning Who Is Nobody program and get involved. Tomorrow is a good time to start!

Monday, April 21, 2008 at 6:56 AM

"Keeping it Legal" clue

Keeping it Legal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Keeping_it_Legal.aspx

I love how often the self righteous, artistic ones are always end up being the douchiest and the perviest.

The backstory:

Several years ago, while dating a high profile, fiery actress, he was on location shooting a movie and found himself one night at a local bar. A young hot thing approached, they flirted, they made the call, and pretty soon she was telling her friends she was heading home with the star, protected by both his bodyguards and a personal driver.

So they get back to his place, start making out, she services him with her mouth, and tries to get him to return the favour, at which point he balks and then, no longer blinded by arousal, finally gets around to asking her:

"Are you really 19?"

Well of course she wasn’t 19. She was actually only 16. And when her guilty face confirmed it for him, he quickly called her a cab and sent her home, not offering to pay for her cab. He did however offer to pay for the silence.

His security detail and the chauffeur, all of whom were witnesses to his tryst with the teen, were compensated handsomely for their discretion. They were so trustworthy that he wanted to use their services again when he returned to town for a new project recently. Unfortunately the same team wasn’t entirely intact.

So instead, now single, he went to great lengths to secure a very capable staff to make sure he didn’t find himself in the kind of icky underage situation as last time. Was like having a personal assistant for the express purpose of getting him head and occasionally laid. Only he was strict about wanting it from “real” girls and not from professionals. Every few days or so, his people had to scour the city looking a girl he could spend a short time with. They’d all start off at a group dinner, and by the end of the night, he’d end up sated at place. A few girls were lucky enough for repeats but effort on his part was never forthcoming.

Still… at the very least… he kept it legal.

Thursday, May 01, 2008 at 9:38 AM

Update (9/10/08):
clue
denial 1: Ryan Phillippe
denial 2: Vince Vaughn & Michael Buble
reveal 1
reveal 2

Keeping it Legal

"Gay but Broke," it's not...

Thursday, May 01, 2008
PS. Johnny Knoxville is not gay but broke. Don’t forget, it was Johnny who taught Jessica Simpson about her favourite number.

"Gay but Broke," it's not...

"Short and Blind," it's not...

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
PS. Blake Lively is not twitching for coke in between takes.

"Short and Blind," it's not...

"Gay but Broke," it's not...

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
PPS. Jerry O’Connell is not gay but broke.

"Gay but Broke," it's not...

"A Bitch to Work For," it's not...

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
PS. A Bitch To Work Forpx is not Heidi Klum or Gwen Stefani.

"A Bitch to Work For," it's not...