From Dublin to Des Moines, Colin Farrell has an endless line of p&ssy waiting for him in every city. Two years ago, I could accept this. Two years ago, I might have put my own chacha on the Farrell bandwagon. But not anymore. Because I don't dig grease monkeys. Nor do I particularly like men with long hair, an extra layer of chubb, and too many accessories around his neck. I'm well aware that Colin is frontin' the South Beach look for the new Miami Vice...but still. I think we can all agree this is not his best. In fact, I think we can all agree that this look doesn't work for ANYONE - even Brad Pitt. So consider the following a public service announcement for all you dudes out there. Read carefully. We don't dig the curly bob. Keep your hair short. You aren't David Beckham...so don't even go there. If you have excessive body oil, pick up a toner (try Fresh Rose Marigold Tonic Water, available at Kiss & Makeup of course!) and control those sebaceous glands. Next: Get rid of the voodoo chains you bought in Cancun last winter. I don't care how good it looked on vacay, it doesn't in the city. And finally...do up your f&cking shirt. One button is fine. If it's hot, you can get away with two. But any more than that and you'll be riding hospitality for the rest of your life. Remember - if it isn't working for Colin Farrell...it isn't going to work for you.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
