PS Tiger Woods is not Cuba. Josh Brolin isn’t Chocolate.
Friday, December 19, 2008
http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_19dec08.aspx
PS Tiger Woods is not Cuba. Josh Brolin isn’t Chocolate.
Friday, December 19, 2008
PS Tiger Woods is not Cuba. Josh Brolin isn’t Chocolate.
Friday, December 19, 2008
http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_18dec08.aspx
PS. Russell Crowe is not Cuba. Daniel Craig is not Chocolate. Justin Timberlake isn’t chocolate either, but that would be amazing.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
PS. Russell Crowe is not Cuba. Daniel Craig is not Chocolate. Justin Timberlake isn’t chocolate either, but that would be amazing.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Alba_to_guest_star_on_The_Office_after_the_Super_Bowl.aspx
Ausiello is reporting that along with Jack Black, The Office has secured Jessica Alba for an appearance on the episode of The Office that will air immediately following the Super Bowl.
The Alba Demon is coming back to TV! Where she belongs!
Great move by her agent. And one that Shelfy Biel is too obtuse to make. Then again, Alba’s been bashing her head much longer against the brick wall of the film community without success. Give the other Jessica another year of two of sucking sh-t …maybe her agent will get the picture too.
Here’s the Alba Bitch at a Christmas party the other day trying to obscure her beauty. She only takes her clothes off and gets pretty when you pay her.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 5:23 PM
Ausiello is reporting that along with Jack Black, The Office has secured Jessica Alba for an appearance on the episode of The Office that will air immediately following the Super Bowl.
The Alba Demon is coming back to TV! Where she belongs!
Great move by her agent. And one that Shelfy Biel is too obtuse to make. Then again, Alba’s been bashing her head much longer against the brick wall of the film community without success. Give the other Jessica another year of two of sucking sh-t …maybe her agent will get the picture too.
Here’s the Alba Bitch at a Christmas party the other day trying to obscure her beauty. She only takes her clothes off and gets pretty when you pay her.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 5:23 PM
http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_17dec08.aspx
PS. Cuba is not Christian Bale. Chocolate is not Keith Urban. But I love that you guessed him. Heh.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
PS. Cuba is not Christian Bale. Chocolate is not Keith Urban. But I love that you guessed him. Heh.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_16dec08.aspx
PS. Johnny Depp is not Cuba or Chocolate – seriously, I’ve never read such panic in your emails. Also not RDJ or Jude Law or Brad Pitt. As if.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
PS. Johnny Depp is not Cuba or Chocolate – seriously, I’ve never read such panic in your emails. Also not RDJ or Jude Law or Brad Pitt. As if.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
http://www.laineygossip.com/Cuba_and_Chocolate_blind_item_.aspx
Two different megastars, two different preferences, but in the end, the act is the same.
The first is a happy father, settled down and reformed, bankable and respected at the same time… a major player. Which is why it’s so important that he keeps his Cuban male lover hidden away to be enjoyed when he’s not on location. It might seem risqué, having his secret stashed so close to home and his official partner, but he’s hot and horny, and it’s not like he’s not living in a freestyling environment, although I have to tell you, this one really, really surprised me. He plays it so well. And in the end, if it wasn’t such a fraud, it totally wouldn’t matter. He is the nicest, nicest person. Kind and considerate and generous… makes me sad he’s forced to live a lie.
The other is much less attached, but just as heterosexually pressured, perhaps even more so. While he’s best known for his female pursuits, and so many females need to believe it that way, it would seem that women are not his only pleasures. When he decides he has a yearning for the other sex however, his flavour is decidedly darker. Sweet chocolate is what they call it? Yes. Black men are his weakness. On occasion, his hankering for it can get him into trouble. He was recently captivated by a fine black man working security at an event who was, unfortunately, not a homosexual. Apparently our star doesn’t have a very sophisticated gaydar because he hit up the wrong dude who did not appreciate the attention, even coming from such a powerful and coveted celebrity. He almost had his ass kicked. His people had to intervene, placate the man, pay off the man… although if he did end up getting the beat-down, he probably would have liked it. Because word is, as time goes on, he’s leaning towards picking a side. Like playing exclusively for the boys team.
Monday, December 15, 2008 at 6:49 AM
Update (03/10/15):
denial 1: Johnny Depp, Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law & Brad Pitt
denial 2: Christian Bale & Keith Urban
denial 3: Russell Crowe, Daniel Craig & Justin Timberlake
denial 4: Tiger Woods & Josh Brolin
denial 5: Russell Crowe, Tom Hanks, Rob Lowe & Hugh Grant
Cuba guess
Chocolate clue 1
denial 6: Tim McGraw, Liam Neeson, Denzel Washington & Josh Brolin
denial 7: Will Smith & Justin Timberlake
denial 8: Ewan McGregor
denial 9: Dennis Quaid, Jim Carrey & Keanu Reeves
denial 10: Kevin Bacon & Leonardo DiCaprio
denial 11: Ben Affleck
denial 12: Matthew McConaughey & Alec Baldwin
denial 13: Bruce Willis, Tobey Maguire & Forrest Whitaker
Cuba red herring (Hugh Jackman)
denial 14: Hugh Jackman
Chocolate reveal 1
Chocolate reveal 2
Chocolate reveal 3
Chocolate reveal 4
Chocolate reveal 5
Cuba reveal 1
Cuba reveal 2
Cuba reveal 3
Cuba reveal 4
Cuba reveal 5
Two different megastars, two different preferences, but in the end, the act is the same.
The first is a happy father, settled down and reformed, bankable and respected at the same time… a major player. Which is why it’s so important that he keeps his Cuban male lover hidden away to be enjoyed when he’s not on location. It might seem risqué, having his secret stashed so close to home and his official partner, but he’s hot and horny, and it’s not like he’s not living in a freestyling environment, although I have to tell you, this one really, really surprised me. He plays it so well. And in the end, if it wasn’t such a fraud, it totally wouldn’t matter. He is the nicest, nicest person. Kind and considerate and generous… makes me sad he’s forced to live a lie.
The other is much less attached, but just as heterosexually pressured, perhaps even more so. While he’s best known for his female pursuits, and so many females need to believe it that way, it would seem that women are not his only pleasures. When he decides he has a yearning for the other sex however, his flavour is decidedly darker. Sweet chocolate is what they call it? Yes. Black men are his weakness. On occasion, his hankering for it can get him into trouble. He was recently captivated by a fine black man working security at an event who was, unfortunately, not a homosexual. Apparently our star doesn’t have a very sophisticated gaydar because he hit up the wrong dude who did not appreciate the attention, even coming from such a powerful and coveted celebrity. He almost had his ass kicked. His people had to intervene, placate the man, pay off the man… although if he did end up getting the beat-down, he probably would have liked it. Because word is, as time goes on, he’s leaning towards picking a side. Like playing exclusively for the boys team.
Monday, December 15, 2008 at 6:49 AM
Update (03/10/15):
denial 1: Johnny Depp, Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law & Brad Pitt
denial 2: Christian Bale & Keith Urban
denial 3: Russell Crowe, Daniel Craig & Justin Timberlake
denial 4: Tiger Woods & Josh Brolin
denial 5: Russell Crowe, Tom Hanks, Rob Lowe & Hugh Grant
Cuba guess
Chocolate clue 1
denial 6: Tim McGraw, Liam Neeson, Denzel Washington & Josh Brolin
denial 7: Will Smith & Justin Timberlake
denial 8: Ewan McGregor
denial 9: Dennis Quaid, Jim Carrey & Keanu Reeves
denial 10: Kevin Bacon & Leonardo DiCaprio
denial 11: Ben Affleck
denial 12: Matthew McConaughey & Alec Baldwin
denial 13: Bruce Willis, Tobey Maguire & Forrest Whitaker
Cuba red herring (Hugh Jackman)
denial 14: Hugh Jackman
Chocolate reveal 1
Chocolate reveal 2
Chocolate reveal 3
Chocolate reveal 4
Chocolate reveal 5
Cuba reveal 1
Cuba reveal 2
Cuba reveal 3
Cuba reveal 4
Cuba reveal 5
http://www.laineygossip.com/Sarah_Jessica_Parker_attends_New_York_ballet_opening_alone_and_confirms_Sex_and_the_City_movie_seque.aspx
Alone at the ballet
Actually no. Valentino was there to keep her company, so at least one gay was by her side… and a orange one at that…just not the one she was hoping for. Seriously, how fashionable is it to look as though you’re being asphyxiated?
This is Sarah Jessica Parker last night at the New York City Ballet opening in a killer short dress but no one to appreciate it.
And an update on the Sex & the City movie sequel: Kim Cattrall revealed it was happening, then SJP claimed that was premature, now she’s explaining that they’re hoping to nail everything down by February, shoot this summer, and go for a 2010 release…so basically what Kim said.
Apparently Michael Patrick King needs to decide on what the story should be. How about no story and just montage after montage of Carrie trying on clothes interspersed with random sightings of the mute Asian baby?
At least the dress porn wouldn’t be boring and contrived.
SJP also confirmed (for now) that Carrie likely won’t have babies. Then again, Carrie seemed uncomfortable talking about sex with her best friends in the last movie. Out of character decisions don’t seem to be a problem.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008 at 6:51 AM
Alone at the ballet
Actually no. Valentino was there to keep her company, so at least one gay was by her side… and a orange one at that…just not the one she was hoping for. Seriously, how fashionable is it to look as though you’re being asphyxiated?
This is Sarah Jessica Parker last night at the New York City Ballet opening in a killer short dress but no one to appreciate it.
And an update on the Sex & the City movie sequel: Kim Cattrall revealed it was happening, then SJP claimed that was premature, now she’s explaining that they’re hoping to nail everything down by February, shoot this summer, and go for a 2010 release…so basically what Kim said.
Apparently Michael Patrick King needs to decide on what the story should be. How about no story and just montage after montage of Carrie trying on clothes interspersed with random sightings of the mute Asian baby?
At least the dress porn wouldn’t be boring and contrived.
SJP also confirmed (for now) that Carrie likely won’t have babies. Then again, Carrie seemed uncomfortable talking about sex with her best friends in the last movie. Out of character decisions don’t seem to be a problem.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008 at 6:51 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Diddys_new_fragrance_ad_compares_himself_to_Barack_Obama.aspx
You Are Douche
This is Diddy in a new ad for his new fragrance I Am King that will be plastered in Times Square.
I Am King?
No! You Are Douche. You Are SUCK.
Oh, and it gets worse. Much worse.
When describing the ad, Diddy offered these enlightening words:
"When you see Barack Obama, you see a strong, elegant black man and when people see my ad, it's almost like that's the trend.”
Diddy = Barack Obama?
Sit the f-ck DOWN B List!
Barack Obama wouldn’t tell people not to make eye contact. Barack Obama wouldn’t tell hotel staff to kowtow in his presence and be honoured to breathe his air. Barack Obama wouldn’t make a 100 people wait during what was promised to be a live interactive interview and cancel at the last minute for no reason.
But Diddy would. And Diddy did.
And who are the f-cking idiots spending money on this sh-t?
Wednesday, November 26, 2008 at 10:15 AM
You Are Douche
This is Diddy in a new ad for his new fragrance I Am King that will be plastered in Times Square.
I Am King?
No! You Are Douche. You Are SUCK.
Oh, and it gets worse. Much worse.
When describing the ad, Diddy offered these enlightening words:
"When you see Barack Obama, you see a strong, elegant black man and when people see my ad, it's almost like that's the trend.”
Diddy = Barack Obama?
Sit the f-ck DOWN B List!
Barack Obama wouldn’t tell people not to make eye contact. Barack Obama wouldn’t tell hotel staff to kowtow in his presence and be honoured to breathe his air. Barack Obama wouldn’t make a 100 people wait during what was promised to be a live interactive interview and cancel at the last minute for no reason.
But Diddy would. And Diddy did.
And who are the f-cking idiots spending money on this sh-t?
Wednesday, November 26, 2008 at 10:15 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Biel_and_Justin_Timberlake_walk_their_dogs_after_Biel_is_rumoured_to_have_lost_out_on_a_part.aspx
Apparently they’re about to move in to his new New York apartment together and are tentatively doing so in LA as well. This would mean making sure her remaining dog, the one that ate her 2nd dog, killing it tragically as she was negligently in the other room, will have to live in peace with Justin’s two pooches.
So Shelfy and Pips took them all for a walk today. She was kind enough to give us several views from behind. Why? Because, really, there isn’t much work ahead. She still isn’t being considered for the parts she wants. She’s still losing out on those ones to the girls who always get them. And worse still, as if Natalie Portman and Scarjo and Keira weren’t enough to contend with, she now has to worry about Anne Hathaway. Rumour has it Anne will soon be booked for something Jessica Biel has had her eye on for a long time. Am told she is livid. Look for more shenanigans to follow.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 1:33 PM
Apparently they’re about to move in to his new New York apartment together and are tentatively doing so in LA as well. This would mean making sure her remaining dog, the one that ate her 2nd dog, killing it tragically as she was negligently in the other room, will have to live in peace with Justin’s two pooches.
So Shelfy and Pips took them all for a walk today. She was kind enough to give us several views from behind. Why? Because, really, there isn’t much work ahead. She still isn’t being considered for the parts she wants. She’s still losing out on those ones to the girls who always get them. And worse still, as if Natalie Portman and Scarjo and Keira weren’t enough to contend with, she now has to worry about Anne Hathaway. Rumour has it Anne will soon be booked for something Jessica Biel has had her eye on for a long time. Am told she is livid. Look for more shenanigans to follow.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 1:33 PM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Biel_and_Justin_Timberlake_walk_their_dogs_after_Biel_is_rumoured_to_have_lost_out_on_a_part.aspx
Merging the dogs
Apparently they’re about to move in to his new New York apartment together and are tentatively doing so in LA as well. This would mean making sure her remaining dog, the one that ate her 2nd dog, killing it tragically as she was negligently in the other room, will have to live in peace with Justin’s two pooches.
So Shelfy and Pips took them all for a walk today. She was kind enough to give us several views from behind. Why? Because, really, there isn’t much work ahead. She still isn’t being considered for the parts she wants. She’s still losing out on those ones to the girls who always get them. And worse still, as if Natalie Portman and Scarjo and Keira weren’t enough to contend with, she now has to worry about Anne Hathaway. Rumour has it Anne will soon be booked for something Jessica Biel has had her eye on for a long time. Am told she is livid. Look for more shenanigans to follow.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 1:33 PM
Merging the dogs
Apparently they’re about to move in to his new New York apartment together and are tentatively doing so in LA as well. This would mean making sure her remaining dog, the one that ate her 2nd dog, killing it tragically as she was negligently in the other room, will have to live in peace with Justin’s two pooches.
So Shelfy and Pips took them all for a walk today. She was kind enough to give us several views from behind. Why? Because, really, there isn’t much work ahead. She still isn’t being considered for the parts she wants. She’s still losing out on those ones to the girls who always get them. And worse still, as if Natalie Portman and Scarjo and Keira weren’t enough to contend with, she now has to worry about Anne Hathaway. Rumour has it Anne will soon be booked for something Jessica Biel has had her eye on for a long time. Am told she is livid. Look for more shenanigans to follow.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 1:33 PM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Debra_Messing_new_body_in_Self_Magazine.aspx
It's all about healthy eating
But isn’t it always?
Debra Messing with her “new amazing body!” graces the cover of the new issue of Self. Inside the magazine, she discusses her frustration with the tabloids over losing her baby weight and what finally led her to finding a program that worked.
Her secret?
Oh just healthy eating. That’s all. Nothing invasive. Nothing suspicious. She says it’s all about the diet. Of course it is…
"I was exhausted! I couldn't work out three hours a day and do my job as a mother and an actress. So I took the pressure off. I cut back on seeing the trainer but started eating healthier. Ultimately I'm very proud of how I dropped the weight because I think it was the healthy approach. I've finally taken ownership of my body."
Right.
Now that she has her body back, her priority now is to spend time with her husband:
"I can't tell you the last time I had a date with my husband. My ideal date with Daniel would be a spectacular meal, maybe Italian, followed by dancing. That's a New Year's resolution I'm looking forward to."
Italian?
Carbs expand in your stomach. Then again, that’s what elasticity is for.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 9:49 AM
It's all about healthy eating
But isn’t it always?
Debra Messing with her “new amazing body!” graces the cover of the new issue of Self. Inside the magazine, she discusses her frustration with the tabloids over losing her baby weight and what finally led her to finding a program that worked.
Her secret?
Oh just healthy eating. That’s all. Nothing invasive. Nothing suspicious. She says it’s all about the diet. Of course it is…
"I was exhausted! I couldn't work out three hours a day and do my job as a mother and an actress. So I took the pressure off. I cut back on seeing the trainer but started eating healthier. Ultimately I'm very proud of how I dropped the weight because I think it was the healthy approach. I've finally taken ownership of my body."
Right.
Now that she has her body back, her priority now is to spend time with her husband:
"I can't tell you the last time I had a date with my husband. My ideal date with Daniel would be a spectacular meal, maybe Italian, followed by dancing. That's a New Year's resolution I'm looking forward to."
Italian?
Carbs expand in your stomach. Then again, that’s what elasticity is for.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 9:49 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Alba_with_shitty_bangs_at_the_Black_Ball_.aspx
Those bangs…
Are the shits.
Does she know?
Does the Alba Demon know? That she’s not Heidi Klum? I don’t think she knows. Because we already know she has an inflated opinion of her abilities – physical and professional.
This is Jessica Alba last night at the Black Ball, hanging out with Alicia Keys and Justin Timberlake and trying to pretend she can roll in the same river of talent.
Wasn’t Jennifer Aniston’s appearance last night on 30 Rock a lesson to everyone? TV Girls belong on tv!
Speaking of TV girls, seeing the Alba Bitch now it makes sense why the Shelf Ass laid low. Or why Pippy kept them apart.
Two TV girls on one carpet? Like Kelly and Brenda but real life.
Ordinarily yes, but not on a night for the children.
Friday, November 14, 2008 at 11:24 AM
Those bangs…
Are the shits.
Does she know?
Does the Alba Demon know? That she’s not Heidi Klum? I don’t think she knows. Because we already know she has an inflated opinion of her abilities – physical and professional.
This is Jessica Alba last night at the Black Ball, hanging out with Alicia Keys and Justin Timberlake and trying to pretend she can roll in the same river of talent.
Wasn’t Jennifer Aniston’s appearance last night on 30 Rock a lesson to everyone? TV Girls belong on tv!
Speaking of TV girls, seeing the Alba Bitch now it makes sense why the Shelf Ass laid low. Or why Pippy kept them apart.
Two TV girls on one carpet? Like Kelly and Brenda but real life.
Ordinarily yes, but not on a night for the children.
Friday, November 14, 2008 at 11:24 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Jennifer_Aniston_and_John_Mayer_celebrate_her_triumphant_return_to_television_on_30_Rock.aspx
It was a week that started low, continued to build, and ended on several high notes. Well done, Huvane. He turned his sh-t around, well done indeed.
Because gone is the memory of Jennifer Aniston degrading herself at The Ivy, replaced by Jennifer Aniston’s tight ass body on 30 Rock, clad in skin-baring outfits in every scene, returning to Must See TV, and finally coming home, proving that her place, always and forever, will not be at the movies comfortable ensconced on the couch on the small screen. This is why she should stop overreaching.
There is no shame in being a TV Girl. Television is not what it once was!
And Jennifer capped off a triumphant week – a week that saw her dominate headlines, magazine covers, the Mighty Opey’s stage, and NBC – with a paparazzi party last night in New York alongside her born again boyfriend John Mayer who, largely because she has publicly stepped out in his defence, has now been rehabilitated in the eyes of the MiniVan Majority.
Amazing, non?
Womanising limpdick humiliates her at impromptu press conference and online but one soothing word to her masses and they follow like lambs: if Jennifer Aniston loves him, he must be lovable. All is forgiven. Yay for douchebags!
No doubt. She flexed her media muscles this week. And her power was impressive. Lingering effects from those hormones perhaps.
Friday, November 14, 2008 at 6:46 AM
It was a week that started low, continued to build, and ended on several high notes. Well done, Huvane. He turned his sh-t around, well done indeed.
Because gone is the memory of Jennifer Aniston degrading herself at The Ivy, replaced by Jennifer Aniston’s tight ass body on 30 Rock, clad in skin-baring outfits in every scene, returning to Must See TV, and finally coming home, proving that her place, always and forever, will not be at the movies comfortable ensconced on the couch on the small screen. This is why she should stop overreaching.
There is no shame in being a TV Girl. Television is not what it once was!
And Jennifer capped off a triumphant week – a week that saw her dominate headlines, magazine covers, the Mighty Opey’s stage, and NBC – with a paparazzi party last night in New York alongside her born again boyfriend John Mayer who, largely because she has publicly stepped out in his defence, has now been rehabilitated in the eyes of the MiniVan Majority.
Amazing, non?
Womanising limpdick humiliates her at impromptu press conference and online but one soothing word to her masses and they follow like lambs: if Jennifer Aniston loves him, he must be lovable. All is forgiven. Yay for douchebags!
No doubt. She flexed her media muscles this week. And her power was impressive. Lingering effects from those hormones perhaps.
Friday, November 14, 2008 at 6:46 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Nicole_Kidmans_three_lips_on_Oprah_.aspx
Just to finish off the thought from before about Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman on Oprah… those lips are now my new obsession. Specifically the lip ridge. Because whatever she’s injecting into them is causing a split on the upper half and so when she tries to move or stretch it, the swelling buckles into a ridge right down the middle. From some angles then it actually looks like she has THREE lips.
Right?
Video is below. But consider yourself warned. Major time sucker. You can lose an entire day in examining those lips.
Anyway…
Gran was honoured last night at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in New York and showed off her two tone Cruella hair, and her breast feeders because, yes, she truly did give birth! She also brought along the husband who dutifully kissed her for the cameras and made Chace Crawford jealous with the superiority of his flat iron. Hair like that, for me, is a dealbreaker. Just saying.
In all fairness though, as far as freeze fright is concerned, Granny wasn’t so scary on this night. Or maybe we’re just numb to the icy landscape.
And then there’s the Rossum. While accepting her award, Nicole offered this cheese:
'Three years ago I had a wonderful career. I was getting movie offers. I had an Oscar. I had beautiful children. But there was something missing; I wasn't loved. 'A man came along and said, "Let me take you to Tennessee." There he told me, "You deserve to be loved. Let me love you." And I did. So thank you, Keith.'
Once upon a time, Keith Urban liked his women fleshy and wild. Once upon a time he’d get into a pool with Kid Rock and they’d come one after another, girl after girl, bikini after bikini, wet and skanky and ready to get dirty.
Then Australia’s princess came along and he was transformed. He saved her. And she saved him back. And they lived happily ever after.
Do you believe in fairy tales?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008 at 6:36 AM
Just to finish off the thought from before about Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman on Oprah… those lips are now my new obsession. Specifically the lip ridge. Because whatever she’s injecting into them is causing a split on the upper half and so when she tries to move or stretch it, the swelling buckles into a ridge right down the middle. From some angles then it actually looks like she has THREE lips.
Right?
Video is below. But consider yourself warned. Major time sucker. You can lose an entire day in examining those lips.
Anyway…
Gran was honoured last night at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in New York and showed off her two tone Cruella hair, and her breast feeders because, yes, she truly did give birth! She also brought along the husband who dutifully kissed her for the cameras and made Chace Crawford jealous with the superiority of his flat iron. Hair like that, for me, is a dealbreaker. Just saying.
In all fairness though, as far as freeze fright is concerned, Granny wasn’t so scary on this night. Or maybe we’re just numb to the icy landscape.
And then there’s the Rossum. While accepting her award, Nicole offered this cheese:
'Three years ago I had a wonderful career. I was getting movie offers. I had an Oscar. I had beautiful children. But there was something missing; I wasn't loved. 'A man came along and said, "Let me take you to Tennessee." There he told me, "You deserve to be loved. Let me love you." And I did. So thank you, Keith.'
Once upon a time, Keith Urban liked his women fleshy and wild. Once upon a time he’d get into a pool with Kid Rock and they’d come one after another, girl after girl, bikini after bikini, wet and skanky and ready to get dirty.
Then Australia’s princess came along and he was transformed. He saved her. And she saved him back. And they lived happily ever after.
Do you believe in fairy tales?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008 at 6:36 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/John_Travolta_loves_working_with_pretty_boy_Jonathan_Rhys_Meyers_and_singing_with_Miley_Cyrus.aspx
Gay Pilots, Androgens, and JailBait too!
Check out John Travolty tryin’ to rock the butch. And look how happy he is to be acting with pretty Jonathan Rhys Meyers in a new movie called From Paris with Love. Xenu’s main ‘mo apparently plays a spy.
There are many high end luxe spas in Paris though they may not be familiar with his massage requests… which, as legend goes, involve a man and a finger up the ass. For his sake though, hopefully they’ll oblige. He’ll need an outlet to get rid of the blue ball build up from being around JRM night and day.
And because it’s Monday, and we all need a little hilarity to get us through the work week, if you can hold back your vomit, this is the new video for the duet: Travolty and Miley on the Bolt soundtrack.
I can’t… look… away…
Thanks Marissa!
Monday, November 10, 2008 at 11:37 AM
Gay Pilots, Androgens, and JailBait too!
Check out John Travolty tryin’ to rock the butch. And look how happy he is to be acting with pretty Jonathan Rhys Meyers in a new movie called From Paris with Love. Xenu’s main ‘mo apparently plays a spy.
There are many high end luxe spas in Paris though they may not be familiar with his massage requests… which, as legend goes, involve a man and a finger up the ass. For his sake though, hopefully they’ll oblige. He’ll need an outlet to get rid of the blue ball build up from being around JRM night and day.
And because it’s Monday, and we all need a little hilarity to get us through the work week, if you can hold back your vomit, this is the new video for the duet: Travolty and Miley on the Bolt soundtrack.
I can’t… look… away…
Thanks Marissa!
Monday, November 10, 2008 at 11:37 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Emily_Blunt_single_and_so_much_better_off_without_Michael_Buble_at_LA_premiere_of_Defiance.aspx
Cheese-free and beautiful
Emily Blunt has kept a pretty low profile while hard at work on back to back features and also since breaking up with that Canadian cheese dick Michael Bublé who allegedly didn’t keep it faithful…or even legal for that matter. Allegedly.
But still the grandmothers who buy his records think he’s a sweet gentleman from the old school.
Please.
Needless to say, Emily Blunt was an overreach for the cover crooner from Canada.
Look at her. She’s amazing.
Emily attended the premiere of Defiance last night in Hollywood looking fresh and lovely and single, though that doesn’t mean she hasn’t had her share of hookups. Rumour has it there was a night with Benicio del Toro recently…who may have his issues but who is infinitely more man than the Bube.
Monday, November 10, 2008 at 7:10 AM
Cheese-free and beautiful
Emily Blunt has kept a pretty low profile while hard at work on back to back features and also since breaking up with that Canadian cheese dick Michael Bublé who allegedly didn’t keep it faithful…or even legal for that matter. Allegedly.
But still the grandmothers who buy his records think he’s a sweet gentleman from the old school.
Please.
Needless to say, Emily Blunt was an overreach for the cover crooner from Canada.
Look at her. She’s amazing.
Emily attended the premiere of Defiance last night in Hollywood looking fresh and lovely and single, though that doesn’t mean she hasn’t had her share of hookups. Rumour has it there was a night with Benicio del Toro recently…who may have his issues but who is infinitely more man than the Bube.
Monday, November 10, 2008 at 7:10 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/P_Diddy_is_ass_asshole_at_his_birthday_party.aspx
What could possibly be so sh-t about the lives of the stars that they routinely resort to verbally and emotionally abusing the small people?
Puffy/Diddy/ F-cktwat threw a birthday party the other night and hired a designer. The designer was given some money and a few hours and instructed to decorate just so but all white (which is so over) with roses and mirrors and other standard lounge embellishments. Unfortunately, Diddy came back and was not pleased with the creation.
"Diddy declared it dreadful and went into a major hissy fit, screaming, 'Show me the receipts!' and 'Get the money back!' to his assistant. Then he began ripping the fabric off the walls saying he hated it. He berated the poor young decorator to the point that the guy gave back $2,000 of the money he had spent."
Big farking ass! It’s a birthday party! A black president has just been elected! Was it necessary?
Of course not.
But it’s Diddy. And he’s forgotten where he came from. And the bitch is classless. And a mean mother-cker. And so it’s not surprising.
But beware the karmic payback.
Back in the China village, the old folks used to give out red money pockets on their own birthdays. You give out good luck, you get back good luck.
If these are the gifts that Diddy be dealing, needless to say, Puffsnatch is in for a world of hurt.
Good!
Monday, November 10, 2008 at 10:28 AM
What could possibly be so sh-t about the lives of the stars that they routinely resort to verbally and emotionally abusing the small people?
Puffy/Diddy/ F-cktwat threw a birthday party the other night and hired a designer. The designer was given some money and a few hours and instructed to decorate just so but all white (which is so over) with roses and mirrors and other standard lounge embellishments. Unfortunately, Diddy came back and was not pleased with the creation.
"Diddy declared it dreadful and went into a major hissy fit, screaming, 'Show me the receipts!' and 'Get the money back!' to his assistant. Then he began ripping the fabric off the walls saying he hated it. He berated the poor young decorator to the point that the guy gave back $2,000 of the money he had spent."
Big farking ass! It’s a birthday party! A black president has just been elected! Was it necessary?
Of course not.
But it’s Diddy. And he’s forgotten where he came from. And the bitch is classless. And a mean mother-cker. And so it’s not surprising.
But beware the karmic payback.
Back in the China village, the old folks used to give out red money pockets on their own birthdays. You give out good luck, you get back good luck.
If these are the gifts that Diddy be dealing, needless to say, Puffsnatch is in for a world of hurt.
Good!
Monday, November 10, 2008 at 10:28 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Granny_Freeze_Nicole_Kidman_becomes_a_tranny_for_movie_with_Charlize_Theron.aspx
Inspired casting. Really.
For years there have been totally unsubstantiated rumours that Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman was born a herm. Someone knows someone else whose doctor attended a conference and they discussed Gran’s girly boy parts and yet when it comes down to it, there is never a first hand account.
Gran is totally frozen. But Gran is not a herm.
Still…
She put her fertility on display front and centre and pillow this year to make sure you know and I know that she’s a woman through and through. Knowing this, and her incessant efforts to fight 40, and her avoidance of those women who are aging so much more naturally and beautifully than she is, it’s admirable that Granny signed on to this next project.
The film will be called The Danish Girl, the true story of an artist couple whose lives were upended when the husband decided to get a sex change.
Nicole is attached to the role of the man who becomes a woman.
Amazing.
Even more amazing – she’ll be starring opposite the stunning Charlize Theron, an unusual move for Granny who does not like to juxtapose herself next to living breathing females, especially since her husband seems to have a preference for them.
But Gran is above all things an artist. She will sacrifice for art. And she will work and work and work…
Nicole will be producing The Danish Girl as well –even though she claims she’s yet to hire a daytime nanny which is about as believable as her claims that she’s all natural without injections.
And finally….
Gran and Hugh Jackman are on Oprah today to promote Australia which has yet to present a final cut. Some of you are watching as I write. And a few of you have already written to tell me Gran is working super super hard to move that forehead. Now I totally have to PVR that sh-t.
Source
Monday, November 10, 2008 at 11:55 AM
Inspired casting. Really.
For years there have been totally unsubstantiated rumours that Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman was born a herm. Someone knows someone else whose doctor attended a conference and they discussed Gran’s girly boy parts and yet when it comes down to it, there is never a first hand account.
Gran is totally frozen. But Gran is not a herm.
Still…
She put her fertility on display front and centre and pillow this year to make sure you know and I know that she’s a woman through and through. Knowing this, and her incessant efforts to fight 40, and her avoidance of those women who are aging so much more naturally and beautifully than she is, it’s admirable that Granny signed on to this next project.
The film will be called The Danish Girl, the true story of an artist couple whose lives were upended when the husband decided to get a sex change.
Nicole is attached to the role of the man who becomes a woman.
Amazing.
Even more amazing – she’ll be starring opposite the stunning Charlize Theron, an unusual move for Granny who does not like to juxtapose herself next to living breathing females, especially since her husband seems to have a preference for them.
But Gran is above all things an artist. She will sacrifice for art. And she will work and work and work…
Nicole will be producing The Danish Girl as well –even though she claims she’s yet to hire a daytime nanny which is about as believable as her claims that she’s all natural without injections.
And finally….
Gran and Hugh Jackman are on Oprah today to promote Australia which has yet to present a final cut. Some of you are watching as I write. And a few of you have already written to tell me Gran is working super super hard to move that forehead. Now I totally have to PVR that sh-t.
Source
Monday, November 10, 2008 at 11:55 AM
http://www.laineygossip.com/Leonardo_DiCaprio_SMA_2008.aspx
By popular demand, an addition to the list of candidates for this year’s People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive – if you’ve yet to read the feature handicapping the contenders, click here. Otherwise, this article means nothing.
Leonardo DiCaprio
Arguments for:
- Is what Pip Timberlake wants to be: successfully transitioned from boy to man on screen
- Multiple Oscar nominee and is attached to another Oscar possibility this year in Revolutionary Road, being named SMA could help his and the film’s chances
- Super well connected, moves among the cream of the crop
- Socially involved, especially during election season, earns him goodwill among the moms
- Is a goodlooking guy, aside from the fact that he’s been kinda carby-faced of late from too much drinking
Arguments against:
- Leo fought Titanic for a long, long, LONG time after it sank. He hated the Teen Beat. He avoids romantic comedies and he does not like to be sold on the basis of his appeal to women. Or young girls
- Despite his efforts though… is he a manly man?
- The SMA invites attention. And paps. And while Leo is a Hollywood player, he for the most part does not famewhore with photographers. Being named SMA will open the door to more gossip, more speculation, more tabloid interest…not something that fits his profile
- He dates models. And the MiniVan is all about dudes who are down with regular girls. This is why Edward Cullen has become the panty creamer of the moment. Leo doesn’t bother with the illusion that he’d actually give a civilian the time of day
ODDS: 8 to 1
Monday, November 10, 2008 at 3:11 PM
http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_10nov08.aspx
Dear Gossips,
Thanks for your messages re: this year’s People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive prediction feature. Click here to catch up if you haven’t already. Many of you truly believe it’ll be President-Elect Barack Obama and hey, if People has the balls for it, please please yes. But don’t overestimate the People subscriber-base. After all, they probably actually think Jennifer Aniston’s visit to Ivy was anything but f-ckery.
Please!
Still… others have pointed out the oversight that is Leonardo DiCaprio. Quite right. I must be prejudiced against his limpness. Leo’s pros and cons will follow later today.
Monday – new posts throughout the day. Check back often.
Yours in gossip,
Monday, November 10, 2008
Dear Gossips,
Thanks for your messages re: this year’s People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive prediction feature. Click here to catch up if you haven’t already. Many of you truly believe it’ll be President-Elect Barack Obama and hey, if People has the balls for it, please please yes. But don’t overestimate the People subscriber-base. After all, they probably actually think Jennifer Aniston’s visit to Ivy was anything but f-ckery.
Please!
Still… others have pointed out the oversight that is Leonardo DiCaprio. Quite right. I must be prejudiced against his limpness. Leo’s pros and cons will follow later today.
Monday – new posts throughout the day. Check back often.
Yours in gossip,
Monday, November 10, 2008
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