"Doctor's orders" clue 2

http://www.laineygossip.com/People_Magazine_whitewashes_George_Clooney_girlfriend_Elisabetta_Canalis.aspx

I posted this article yesterday about George Clooney’s new Italian piece and a clip that a reader called Claudia sent me that allegedly shows Elisabetta getting, um, a fellatio facial. The last line of that article read:

How will People Magazine deal with her past? Will they whitewash her resume?

Like 2 hours later, People.com did indeed profile George’s lady. And they made her sound like the most entrepreneurial, successful, well rounded woman ever. Of course they did. Because George Clooney must be sold to the MiniVan this way. I don’t give a sh-t what Canalis did with her mouth. Don’t care about her history. But what’s fascinating is how her history will somehow be repurposed because of who she’s dating.

As for whether or not all this is fair what’s she’s going through – she loves it. Trust.

Now. About that link. It says it’s her. And they say it’s her. But there’s so much – errrr – covering her, Jacek has been researching, watched it a few times, can’t make a conclusive identification except to say the features certainly match, and she’s dabbled in soft core before too.

I’ve received your emails and many of you want to see it. So let me warn you again. It’s LEWD. It’s VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY GRAPHIC.

NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

DO NOT CLICK IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE IT.

EXTREMELY HARDCORE.

Here

Friday, July 31, 2009 at 8:23 AM


That’s why she’s the Italian Queen

What’s the big sh-t about Elisabetta Canalis? Why the drama?

Italian police have busted a few local clubs for alleged drug activity and pimping. Some witness testified that she may have used cocaine with the Italian Queen a couple of years ago. That’s pretty much the extent of the story. The Italian Queen used to roll at a shady club for a few rails and maybe f-cked for some cash on the side and suddenly this is news.

This is not news. This is what he likes. He likes it rough and dirty, he likes it not sweet, he pays well but she can’t be well behaved, and definitely not MiniVan. You don’t think he knew? Of course he knew. You have known this for a long time. But the MiniVan, well they didn’t know. They refuse to know.

Several US media outlets have published stories about the scandal including Huffington Post and Us Weekly but curiously enough People.com has yet to address it. What’s Clooney’s next move? Does he cut and run, or does he offer an exclusive in exchange for some whitewashing, and just in time for the release of The American on September 1st? Many are expecting The American to be on the Venice Film Festival list when their lineup is announced. And with Ely by his side, defiantly refusing to release her, keeping her his Italian Queen.

Please. A little drug prostitution scandal isn’t holding back Ely Canalis. A girl with her roots doesn’t get to Lake Como without a little resourcefulness.





Friday, July 30, 2010 at 8:14 AM


http://www.laineygossip.com/George_Clooney_accompanies_Elisabetta_Canalis_to_Milan_Fashion_Week_27sept10.aspx

Publicly nuzzling the Italian Queen

Pay your f-cking respects. This, golddiggers, is about as solid as it gets. And I wonder now if anything can take the Italian Queen down.

She has endured a cocaine and prostitution scandal in Italy proper that was not only contained and controlled immediately, with no North American penetration, but she’s managed to overcome it even at home, during Milan Fashion Week, flaunting her superior strategic machinations in the faces of her enemies but appearing front row at Cavalli, and then – the ultimate trumping – hand in hand with Him at Giorgio Armani today.

In which he looks delirious. Almost drunk on her love.

In which he nuzzles her for the cameras, happily.

In which he will continue to open doors, offer opportunities, so long as she keeps up the magic.

She makes it look effortless. She deserves the photo caption.

It’s George Clooney who is accompanying Elisabetta Canalis.

Also attached – Roberto Cavalli. Because amazingness will never be denied.

Monday, September 27, 2010 at 11:07 AM

Doctor's orders
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Ryan_Gosling_back_to_back_films_just_booked_George_Clooneys_The_Ides_of_March_29oct10.aspx

They were all on set yesterday shooting a scene in which there’s a pawn shoppe robbery or something – Ryan Gosling, Christina Hendricks, and Carey Mulligan in pink. Really not sure why they keep dressing him like an Elvis impersonator but whatever, when that jacket comes off, there’s not much to complain about. And there’s nothing to complain about when you consider his schedule.

Ryan’s two long-awaited films Blue Valentine and All Good Things (not really crazy about that trailer) will be released at the end of the year. Crazy, Stupid, Love, the comedy with Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Kevin Bacon, Marisa Tomei, and Emma Stone (who isn’t in that movie???) is due out in April. They’re hoping to release Drive next year too. And as you’ve probably heard, he’s just been cast in George Clooney’s next directorial effort, The Ides of March, based on Farrugut North. Clooney will also star in the film. And you know, Clooney’s films never have to sit on a shelf waiting for distribution. In other words, there’s a lot of Ryan coming up. Given that we haven’t seen him at the movies since 2007, yes 2007, these are happy times.

Friday, October 29, 2010 at 1:51 PM

Doctor's orders
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Doctors_Orders_blind_riddle_08nov10.aspx

He like his sex unconventional. Some would call it experimental, certainly vigorous, and definitely physical. Maybe too physical. Mixing pain into his pleasure, and cutting very, very close to a dangerous line is taking its toll on his body. He shows up with strange bruises, the next week it’s a minor fracture, his neck has been strained, sometimes there’s a knee brace, the shoulder’s been f-cked up for a while, and his back is a chronic issue too.

The excuse of course is that he’s active, that he exercises, he’s sporty, and that’s true, yes, but the injuries are not sustained while playing pickup, no, not at all. The injuries happen when he’s doing his business with his steady girl, a willing and capable participant.

His doctor is aware of what’s been ailing him, and WHY it’s ailing him. Helps when he can. But he’s been urged to take it easy because lately it’s been getting too rough. Especially with insurance and medicals and all that kind of paperwork, it’s hard to explain away the cuts and sprains, the little accidents that seem to be occurring with increasing frequency. He’s so into it, and he gets so off on it, it’s hard from him to curtail his fun. But they all agree, at least it’s been the case in the past, that when it’s time to get to work, he manages to keep his freak under control.

Monday, November 08, 2010 at 8:05 AM

Update (12/07/11):

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"How he lost it" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Justin_Bieber_crushing_on_Emma_Watson_20aug10.aspx

You think Kanye West has a big ego?

As obnoxious as Kanye can be, and I love him for it so much, there’s no ego bigger than the ego of a 16 year old boy-child superstar with the world at his feet. And if you think he’s too young and wholesome and milk and cookies sweet to swagger with the best of them, just because he calls his mommy and remembers to thank God, you haven’t been paying enough attention to Celebrity.

So Justin Bieber’s baby fever is apparently getting hot for Emma Watson. Yeah. Emma Watson. And apparently this is how he would entertain Emma Watson:

“I would love to take her out for dinner. It would be great if she could come to one of my concerts, then we could hang out afterward. I love the fact she is one of the biggest female movie stars, but has chosen to go back to college. It shows she is really grounded and normal.”

Yes, little guy, but are you?

Hey girl, come to my show, watch them watching me, screaming, and wanting, and then consider yourself lucky to have some of my time.

Really?

No.

Emma’s not going anywhere near it. But she’ll get hated for it anyway. You’ve heard how TwiHard his fans can get, right? She’s in danger now. Like deep, deep sh-t.

Friday, August 20, 2010 at 10:28 AM

How he lost it
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_02nov10.aspx
[Comment From Kaley ]
Lainey what are your thoughts on Chelsea Handler dating 50 cent. She's always been pro gay and he constantly makes homophobic remarks. Has she jumped the shark with this relationship and her friendship with Aniston. There seems to not be any more edge.
Lainey: Kaley - yeah, I agree. Lost edge. And, frankly, her jokes about Lindsay Lohan getting cranked are probably a little hypocritical.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010 at 11:56 AM

Her First Request
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_02nov10.aspx
[Comment From Michelle ]
Natalie Portman is up her ass? Hmm perhaps she's the girl counter part of the blind riddle...
Lainey: Michelle - no, she's not. And being up her own ass isn't necessarily a bad thing. Nice people are overrated.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010 at 11:56 AM

How he lost it
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_02nov10.aspx
[Comment From kk ]
alex rodrigez is the blind item right??
Lainey: KK - no.
[Comment From brigha ]
Please tell me the blind isn't Cory Monteith...
Lainey: brigha - not him
Tuesday, November 02, 2010 at 11:56 AM

How he lost it
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_02nov10.aspx
Lainey: Clue clue clue: fixating on the physical size of the ass and the notoriety of it isn't leading you in the right direction.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010 at 11:56 AM


How he lost it
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_02nov10.aspx
[Comment From Mina ]
Lainey and Sarah... there is lots of speculation that Demi checked into rehab for coke, sex problems, and an eating disorder. thoughts or confirmations? denials? do you know?
Lainey: Mina - there are a lot of rumours flying around about her alleged promiscuity. I don't know if I believe all of it, but I believe *some* of it. They all have eating disorders. Some just manage it better than others. And she has the full list of other sh-t that comes with child stardom too. So all in all, it's a long list of drama.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010 at 11:56 AM

How he lost it

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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_02nov10.aspx
[Comment From Molly ]
blind: joe jonas and ashley greene?
Lainey: Molly - no
Tuesday, November 02, 2010 at 11:56 AM

How he lost it

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http://www.laineygossip.com/Review_of_Cesar_Millan_show_in_Victoria_28oct10.aspx

The Dog Whisperer in Victoria


Cesar Millan is touring. There was a show in Victoria, British Columbia earlier this week and I have heard from a few people who were there, all with rather negative reviews. Not just like – oh, I didn’t find his information helpful or he just repeats the tv show, nothing new here, but like straight up OFFENDED, full on hate, will never ever support him again. Que???? You’re shocked, right? Should you be shocked?

Before I go into the details though, in the spirit of fairness, please do write to me if you were at the Cesar Millan show in Victoria and did not see this go down, or if you interpreted his words differently. Let me know if you thought it was wonderful and were not insulted. Because the way Lindsay P saw it that night, well, she called him a “total prick”. Her abridged account is below:

I went and SAW Cesar's "show" last night in Victoria, BC and I will be SHOCKED if I am the first person to write you in regards to that garbage. For the entire last half of the seminar I was composing this email to you in my head in complete ANGER. The first half started out fine... he was charming and funny and me and my sister decided we didn't CARE if you were right and he was a prick we loved him anyways....


THEN he kicked off the second half after intermission by comparing dogs to women in third world countries. Not even kidding you. You see Lainey, dogs today have too much food and affection. They are fat and loved but they have no discipline and exercise and therefore are unhappy.... women in third world countries, well they have no food and no affection but plenty of discipline and exercise and they are unhappy too. You see? Dogs and women need food, love, discipline and exercise, all FOUR....just imagine if you tried to tell a woman to go to the gym... you have to TRICK them into doing it HAR HAR HAR... just like dogs. The arena went SILENT. This comparison carried on for about 5 minutes while he tried to dig himself out. It didn't work and he has lost me and I HOPE any other woman in that arena at that point.


The show went downhill pretty quickly from that point on. Some other points of disbelief and total stupidity included:


* Asking an audience member who adopted her dog from Kuwait if that was a place in Victoria
* Not understanding that Victoria was a City in a PROVINCE IN CANADA and not Canada in its entirety
* Many, many, Many "Jokes" regarding his illegal boarder jumping to America, immigration and Tacos
* The show in its entirety being laced with American jabs. The fat people, too stupid to walk a dog, the only race to elect and re-elect and follow an unstable "pack leader"


I can't WAIT until he brings this garbage to the States. I recognize that we as Canadians are probably to polite to boo him off the stage but I hope that SOMEONE WILL. He actually had a perfect analogy for it... The reason the little dogs think they are bigger and better than everyone else at the dog park is because they live in the arms of their master, at eye level, taller than all the other dogs. That's Cesar in a nut shell... being carried around on top of his fame and money and thinking he is better than everyone else. It is disgusting.


That is 3 hours and 70 dollars of my life I will never get back!


Cesar Millan is currently promoting a new book: Cesar’s Rules: Your Way to Train a Well-Behaved Dog.

Thursday, October 28, 2010 at 8:40 AM

Bad with people
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Katherine_Heigl_you_shoulding_her_mother_while_out_for_lunch_27oct10.aspx

Katherine Heigl went for lunch yesterday with her mother. Always with the mother. Here’s another one who is rarely seen with girlfriends. I imagine Katie Heigl is one of those “You Should” kind of friends. You should do this, you should do that, I would do this, I would do that, she knows everything.

Is that something you get from your mom, like table manners? In these photos, gesticulating at the same time she and her ma seem to be you should-ing each other. Katie’s last movie Life As We Know It, currently in theatres, was not a huge success. For you fans of The Outlander series this could mean she might have trouble making that movie happen. Good news or bad news?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010 at 12:01 PM

She's a piece of work
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_26oct10.aspx
[Comment From Pie ]
Um hello, where are Jennifer Anistons whereabouts? is she wroking on a new film or what? this is the longest I have not heard or saw her name in the press
Lainey: Pie - yeah because she got shamed into hiding after that dude said he f-cked her as a beltnotch.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010 at 11:45 AM

Another Winner
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How he lost it

http://www.laineygossip.com/How_He_Lost_It_Blind_Riddle_02nov10.aspx

What’s “it”? What else?

He gave it to a more experienced older woman, if you can call her that, also living the public life and with it all its attendant miseries. Which could explain why she chose to, um, initiate him the way she did. Because his first time was certainly not conventional, at least not when I was growing up, but then again, maybe that’s what they do at summer camp now: losing your virginity through the backdoor...? Like he doesn’t have enough to swagger about these days, he also gets to boast about the fact that he’s already tried what so many boys to men and grown men want to try so badly. Now that’s a story that he can tell forever, and probably will, in a few years, when everyone stops caring.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010 at 7:22 AM

Update (03/15/11):

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She’s a piece of work

http://www.laineygossip.com/Piece_of_Work_Blind_Riddle_25oct10.aspx

Written by Sarah

There’s one in every family. The in-law no one likes. They manage to find a way to bring down every family holiday and gathering, provoking fights, hurt feelings, and general awkwardness. You stare at the brother/sister/cousin/aunt, or maybe even parent, who introduced this unpleasant individual into your clan and think, Were you high when you proposed?

For this family, their “piece of work” is a loud-mouthed, famous blonde who insists on smoking at the table during family gatherings (the family patriarch is very health conscious--this is not a smoking-tolerant family). At first, they didn’t mind her so much, sold on her bright smile and seemingly pleasant manner. But as soon as her public trouble was smoothed over, her real personality started coming out. Now, her constant cursing and insistence on injecting herself into the middle of everything is rubbing everyone the wrong way. When friends of the family visited they were shocked by her behavior and attitude. The family was like, yeah, welcome to our world.

But what really irks them is her habit of emasculating their son--not only in front of them, but in the press, too. Things have gotten so bad that they’ll tell anyone they wish their son would leave her, wondering why he still puts up with her, going so far as to say they’d “lobotomize” him to make him forget her.

Monday, October 25, 2010 at 6:47 AM

Update (03/15/11):

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"Hair issue (#1)" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Sarah_Jessica_Parker_very_thin_attends_NY_City_Ballet_spring_gala_30apr10_.aspx

Sarah Jessica Parker attended the New York City Ballet spring opening last night. Love the jacket over the dress. Love. But... she is deathly thin right now, non? Like more so than usual. Perhaps it’s the stress of running after two babies and a preschooler. I’ll say it again though – she’s never slammed for her veins and her emaciated frame. Because the MiniVan Majority loves TBS Sex & the City. So fabulous! Let’s have cosmos followed by “exotic” Indian food!

Sex & the City 2 is coming. Which means the Dress Porn is coming. Which could be the only reason to see it. Interesting article in the LA Times about Carrie’s ridiculous logic defying wardrobe. Click here to read.

Friday, April 30, 2010 at 11:02 AM

http://www.laineygossip.com/Sarah_Jessica_Parker_Costume_Institute_Gala_2010_.aspx


She does a hair flower better than anyone else. I want to do a hair flower one day. But mine is so slippery the flower wouldn’t stay. And I’d keep cocking my head to one said and my neck would crick. Fashion, so often, is about suffering. It really really is.

Sarah Jessica Parker wore Halston because, like, she “designs” for the line now. All that design work, and raising three children, and making silly Sex sequels must be cutting in her sleeping and eating time because goddamn she is bones right now. And she’s already been choosing Body > Face for years.

Am so curious though, if for one year SJP would allow herself to be pick Face > Body, what would that look like?

Tuesday, May 04, 2010 at 11:36 AM

http://www.laineygossip.com/Sarah_Jessica_Parker_arrives_at_Alexander_McQueen_in_London_May_2010.aspx


We can all relate to SJP

Well can't we? This is what they try to sell us on, isn't it? I read an article recently where she said that she eats whenever she wants and whatever she wants because life is too short for deprivation and she couldn't imagine existing without the joy of food. Some sh-t like that.

So here's the relatable, food-enjoying Sarah Jessica Parker, the morning after the UK premiere of Sex & the City 2, arriving at the Alexander McQueen offices today in London in jeans and heels showing off her relatable, food-enjoying legs. We can all relate to her thighs being the same size as her calves because Carrie Bradshaw has great clothes and let's have cosmos and marry off our gays.

Friday, May 28, 2010 at 11:57 AM

Hair issues
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Smutty_Tingles_19oct10.aspx

Lea Michele tries to be sexy. Wonder if she waxed. (Popeater)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010 at 11:29 AM

Hair issues

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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_19oct10.aspx
[Comment From Mel ]
I was right, Anorexic Hair is Lea Michele!
Lainey: Mel - nope.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010 at 11:53 AM

Hair issues
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_19oct10.aspx
[Comment From sara ]
lainey, is catherine zeta jones the one with the hair problem that cost her a role?
Lainey: Sara - not Zeta.
[Comment From Laura ]
Lainey-- The blind item about hairy arms, Kristen Bell?
Lainey: Laura - no
Tuesday, October 19, 2010 at 11:53 AM

Hair issues

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"Hair issues," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Keira_Knightley_Carey_Mulligan_Andrew_Garfield_at_London_Film_Festival_photo_call_for_Never_Let_Me_G.aspx

Keira Knightley and Carey Mulligan were lovely together today at the London Film Festival photo call for Never Let Me Go. SO cute. The hair is the same-ish now, and they were born 2 months apart, just 25, and both nominated for Oscars, and both among the elites on a short list of top actresses, and neither one of them have these issues.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010 at 9:15 AM

Hair issues
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