"Smack no kids," it's not...


PS. Smack no kids is not Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend, not Sandra Bullock and Jesse James.

Friday, March 20, 2009

"Smack no kids," it's not...


PPS. Smack no kids is not Demi and Ashton or Eva Longoria and Tony Parker.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

"Smack no kids," it's not...


PPS. Smack no kids is not James McAvoy and Anne-Marie Duff. Also not Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

"Smack no kids," it's not...


It's not James McAvoy and Anne-Marie Duff

via Twitter

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


John Mayer keep quiet about the end of his contractual obligations his bust up with Jennifer Aniston? Please. He would never be so cruel. He could never be so self controlled.

Remember, his gift is his song. His gift is the word. Because he’s so great with the word, right? Who keeps telling him he’s so great with the word???

Putting experience into music is one thing. But it takes time to record a song. And release it. And this douchebag needs instant gratification. Which is why the internets suit him so well. Especially Twitter.

Yes y’all. John Mayer is using Twitter to tell us about the split. Of course he is. And of course, to borrow from skinny Ben Stiller, what he wrote is all clever-clever in the land of clever-clever land. A riddle, if you will, meant to tell us nothing or, if you’re deep enough to understand, everything.

Ernest Hemingway once claimed he could write a great story in six words or less… I’m certainly not the first person to pass the plate around on this, but Twitter seems like an excellent place to try it. My six word story: This heart didn’t come with instructions.

See? He just can’t help himself. He can’t do it. He can’t. He will tell you he’s an artist. That it’s all about expression. The truth is, when it comes to John Mayer, it’s actually all about fame and whoring. And douchebaggery. And maybe a little bit of Megan Fox. Not just Megan Fox, but what Megan Fox stands for.

He likes it dirty and urinated on and able to f-ck without worrying about the hair.

So the question is (suggested by my friend Ashley P in London): how long is Stephen Huvane’s call list right now? And who do you think is on it?

Ashley says Gerard Butler. I agree. Who else? Who else needs to agree to a fauxmance?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 1:24 PM

They’ve been married a while now, he’s still desperately in love with her, and has been patiently waiting to have children…only she hasn’t been healthy enough to get pregnant. Because she loves heroin.

Last summer it was a last chance, he took her on extended holiday, cleaned her up, a new positive attitude, kept her busy working on a new project through the fall, away from her regular enablers, and it totally worked out. She was in a good creative space. She was able to fight the temptation.

But as an actor, the work ends eventually and if there’s nothing new to do, there’s really nothing else to do. Bored and idle, the old demons have come back. One day last month he came home from a long overnight and couldn’t find her. The dealer called a few hours later telling him to pick her up, she was so out of it even he had to cut her off and she had started harassing his other clients.

All the emotional wear and tear, it’s beginning to show on him physically too. But he’s working more than she is and can’t get away for several weeks so he’s hired a babysitter to watch her night and day. Babysitter. She resents him for it of course so the fights are getting worse … and the one benefitting from all of this is a slag bitch colleague who’s been waiting for her chance for a long, long time.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 8:16 AM

Update (8/19/09):
denial 1: James McAvoy & Anne-Marie Duff
denial 2: James McAvoy & Anne-Marie Duff, Taye Diggs & Idina Menzel
denial 3: Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher, Eva Longoria & Tony Parker
denial 4: Charlize Theron & Stuart Townsend, Sandra Bullock & Jesse James
denial 5: Enrique Iglesias & Anna Kournikova, Fergie & Josh Duhamel
denial 6: Josh Brolin & Diane Lane
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3