"Why He's Single" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/George_Clooney_and_Sarah_Larson_split_according_to_People.aspx

People Magazine is going ahead with it too… that means it MUST be true. Or that George Clooney is ok with us thinking it’s true. Either way, Sarah Larson is not spending the summer in Milano. No Como. George is a gentleman though. She’ll probably get to keep the clothes. And the cash. And some stocks and bonds too.

The photo shoots and the runway appearances though…all that is done. Can you believe In Touch Weekly got one right?

Sigh.

I miss her already.

Thanks to Sarah, the George Clooney illusion is no more. He is not the perfect MiniVan Man. What he is though, despite the fact that he looks great in a suit, is a man who isn’t into a classy woman. Perhaps that was the problem.

With Sarah by his side, George was not successful at the box office. Leatherheads sucked ass. The MiniVan wants him single. Or married to Julia Roberts.

Looking back, given recent events, maybe the Sarah split was staring us in the face.

He booked it to Mexico last week, remember? With his boys.

Rumour has it, George likes to pay for it in Mexico. Treats them very well, leaves them expensive gifts. This way it’s all business, he’s gets off, it’s clean, and it’s over when the trip is. And much cheaper than hiring a professional girlfriend for a year.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 2:49 PM

"Why He's Single" clue

"Why He's Single" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/George_Clooney_threesome_in_LA.aspx

Sara Larson is reportedly heart broken over her split with George Clooney. Fox News claims she was given no notice, asked to leave right away, pack up her stuff from his mansion in LA, and immediately flew back to Las Vegas to lick her wounds.

George on the other hand...well... George is licking some other things. At least according to my source who tells me exclusively that George allegedly had a little bit of fun at an LA area hotel (a chain) last Tuesday with not 1 not 2 but 3 ladies who looked like they were of the night.

George apparently checked in under an alias at 2am, no reservation, and did not appear to be sober. The ladies were giggling, could not believe their luck at landing Hollywood's major player. At least for one night. George checked out at 9am wearing a hat and jeans.

We learned of his split from Sarah on Thursday.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008 at 12:15 PM

"Why He's Single" clue

Why He's Single

http://www.laineygossip.com/Why_Hes_Single_Blind.aspx

It was an unexpected split. Many were led to believe erroneously, me included, that their end had more to do with his machinations than with hers. As it turns out however the reason behind the break up was the dreaded OverReach.

What sent him scrambling were comments like this, dropped casually into conversation:

“I forgot my pill.”

“I’m a few days late.”

And then calling his family, chatting them up, hinting at the prospect of a baby, raising their hopes that a grandchild would be in their future.

It’s the betrayal that disappointed him most. Apparently he wasted no time putting an end to her plans, pretty much standing over her while she packed up, sending her away with not even a glance back.

He’s been drowning his sorrows in cocktails ever since. Not alone, of course but it was definitely a disappointment. He’d intended to keep her around for a long time. Especially given the fact that he was still able to have his fun on the side. It’s not every day you find a girl who’s ok with extra curricular activities so long as she’s the only one who gets a set of keys.

In the end though, her greed brought an end to the sweet ride. Shelf Ass Jessica Biel could stand to learn a thing or two from this example. Overreaching prompts a steep fall.

Monday, June 09, 2008 at 10:30 AM

Update (6/17/08):
clue 1
clue 2
confirmation
denial: Kate Hudson
details
reveal

Other blinds about the wonderful life of George Clooney
Mr. Popular Likes Pretty Woman?
Meeting at the Spa

Why He's Single

"Post Partum Flirtation" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Christina_Aguilera_and_Max_on_cover_of_People.aspx

Looks like People Magazine outbid the others for the first photos of Christina Aguilera with her baby Max. How much is that baby on the magazine cover?

I wonder if she nurses him at home with a full face of makeup. Am now obsessed with seeing what Christina looks like these days without it caked on.

People Magazine with Christina on the cover is on newsstands today.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008 at 10:39 AM

Post Partum Flirtation

"Post Partum Flirtation" clue

Post Partum Flirtation

http://www.laineygossip.com/Post_Partum_Flirtation.aspx

Had a baby not too long ago, supposedly a happy family. But there’s been a little blip. And it’s not just the late nights. Seems she’s been a little bored with domesticity and has had a naughty flirtation. Saucy text messages and heated exchanges, some suggestive touching and closed door petting were spicing up her life but the subject of her giddy infatuation was not the father of her child. They didn’t seal the deal but it came very, very close.

Even worse, he was a friend and a business associate of her significant other who found out about the illicit activity and shut it down quickly, sending angry missives back to the betrayer to “stay the f&ck away” from her. As a result, the dude is out of a job. And, finding himself unemployed, he has saved the email evidence and is threatening to go public, sell them off to one of the rags. Word is they are in the process of paying him off.

She meanwhile is repentant and has redevoted herself to her relationship after groveling successfully for forgiveness.

Crisis temporarily averted…but for how long?

Monday, June 09, 2008 at 6:29 AM

Update (10/12/10):
clue (baby reference)
denial 1: Salma Hayek
denial 2: Halle Berry
denial 3: Heidi Klum
denial 4: Jennifer Lopez
denial 5: Salma Hayek
reveal 1
reveal 2
reveal 3

Post Partum Flirtation

"Photo Negotiation" clue?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Dear Gossips,

The most random night ever.

After the opening gala and the ensuing celebration for Blindness last night, we headed to Nikki Beach. Nikki Beach is a travelling Eurocheese club staple. Super rich dudes who deal in oil and other mystery industries and their Eastern European mail order brides with fake tans, too much gold, tits that are paid for, and an aversion to food. By the end of the night, these f&ckers are spraying each other with champagne. Amazing.

Macy Gray performed, Eva Longoria and Eva Mendes whatever…but the best – the best, best, best in randomness – is that Star Jones showed up. Star f&cking Jones.

WTF?

Even better? She walked in and instead of sniping about the size of her head, Laura and I looked at each other thinking the same thing:

OMFG. She’s thinner than we are.

Laura is tiny. But Star Jones is even smaller. Laura wanted to kill herself. Then she started re-evaluating her life. It was time to go home. Five metres from our flat, Dylan struck up a conversation with a cute Irish boy from Cork who invited us to onto his yacht that was moored at the pier just across the street. He lured Dylan with champagne and beer. An hour later Dylan had found the wingman to his Iceman.

This is Cannes.

And everyone in Cannes can talk of nothing but Angelina’s double deities. The Kung Fu Panda gala is tonight and that carpet will be a sh*tshow. Our first opportunity for Pitt Porn! There’s a rumour circulating around here that she and Brad will be bringing their two boys though Cannes is often about hype over substance. But I don’t post tomorrow, it means I was trampled by Brangelunatics. Right now, the South of France is Mecca to them.

I’m screening Kung Fu Panda this morning. Will keep you posted.

Interviews for Blindness today including Gael Garcia Bernal. Also Kung Fu Panda presser and the big splash tonight.

Thursday – am blogging all day between shoots, screenings, and interviews. Can’t wrap head around time difference. Check back often!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

"Photo Negotiation" clue?

"Dog Eat Dog" revealed

http://laineygossip.com/Justin_Timberlake_Jessica_Biel_moving_in_rumours_and_break_up_rumours.aspx

It hurts me to post these. It hurts to look at my golf clubs collecting dust in the closet. Just before breaking my arm, I had finally figured out my short game. Was supposed to break 100 this season. Many times.

F*cking Mischa Barton.

This is Justin Timberlake in San Diego at the USGA pre-game. The US Open is next week. Tiger’s back after knee surgery. Only 2 months after knee surgery. Ugh. Why couldn’t I be born a golf prodigy?

As for the Pip Weasel…well he’s definitely a whinging bitch but when it comes to golf gear, he definitely brings the game. Am all over the orange belt. And while the trilby is a bit much, he is a pop star after all.

Regarding his relationship with the Shelf… many of you have written this week wondering whether or not it’s true – the reports that Jessica Biel is moving in with him.

No clue about the veracity of the claims although since it’s a positive story, it wouldn’t be surprising in the least if she leaked it the way she leaks everything else. Especially since arranged “candids” of the two have been so hard for her to engineer of late.

There are some interesting rumours however coming out of New York. Not slam dunk quite yet but intriguing nonetheless.

Supposedly Pippy’s bestie Trace Ayala was overheard telling people he didn’t think Shelfy would make it another year. The boy’s boys know best, right?

Also, Pip might be expanding his empire. He recently forayed into television, now there’s loose talk of producing something on Broadway and that he’s looking to acquire a kick ass penthouse in NYC. Again… not slam dunk. If true though, no doubt that Shelf Ass would hitch it on his ride and make a cross country move too. Like she could cut it in New York. Please.

Or maybe that’s his exit strategy. Given that she’s still desperately climbing in Hollywood, she probably wouldn’t want to leave LA. And after a while, the long distance might be his easy out.

After that douchebag move he pulled this week on the junket though, I really hope not.

Let’s face it. Until his balls drop, JT deserves no better than that hermy TV girl who let one of her dogs eat the other.

Friday, June 06, 2008 at 1:55 PM

"Dog Eat Dog" revealed

"Condom-free Sleaze" revealed

http://laineygossip.com/Ryan_Phillippe_Abbie_Cornish_step_out_as_a_couple_for_the_first_time.aspx

Last night at the Australian in Film Breakthrough Awards, Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish arrived together – their first time in public as a couple. Apparently they were sweet and loving and he had his arm around her and as you would expect, because this was reported in People, they seemed very much in love.

Well I would hope so.

I would hope that the affair that finally ended his marriage was at least worth something.

Abbie kept a very low profile during promotion for Stop Loss a few months ago. The film died a quick embarrassing death at the box office. Rumours were swirling at the time as to why she was so scaled back on publicity. One of the more far-fetched tales was that she was off having his love child.

Indeed, from this angle they certainly do have matching carb faces, non?

How long before he cheats on her? Judging from his prolific infidelity in the past, it’s pretty much a certainty.

Friday, June 06, 2008 at 7:40 AM

"Condom-free Sleaze" revealed

"Photo Negotiation," it's not...

Thursday, May 29, 2008
PS. Photo Negotiation Pt 1 is not Pamela Anderson.

"Photo Negotiation," it's not...

"Mr Popular likes Pretty Woman" revealed again

http://laineygossip.com/George_Clooney_and_Sarah_Larson_split_according_to_People.aspx

People Magazine is going ahead with it too… that means it MUST be true. Or that George Clooney is ok with us thinking it’s true. Either way, Sarah Larson is not spending the summer in Milano. No Como. George is a gentleman though. She’ll probably get to keep the clothes. And the cash. And some stocks and bonds too.

The photo shoots and the runway appearances though…all that is done. Can you believe In Touch Weekly got one right?

Sigh.

I miss her already.

Thanks to Sarah, the George Clooney illusion is no more. He is not the perfect MiniVan Man. What he is though, despite the fact that he looks great in a suit, is a man who isn’t into a classy woman. Perhaps that was the problem.

With Sarah by his side, George was not successful at the box office. Leatherheads sucked ass. The MiniVan wants him single. Or married to Julia Roberts.

Looking back, given recent events, maybe the Sarah split was staring us in the face.

He booked it to Mexico last week, remember? With his boys.

Rumour has it, George likes to pay for it in Mexico. Treats them very well, leaves them expensive gifts. This way it’s all business, he’s gets off, it’s clean, and it’s over when the trip is. And much cheaper than hiring a professional girlfriend for a year.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 2:49 PM

"Mr Popular likes Pretty Woman" revealed again

Poll Results: Photo Negotiation

Photo Negotiation

Poll Results: Photo Negotiation

"Photo Negotiation" confirmed

Monday, May 26, 2008
Part 2 is who you think it is.

"Photo Negotiation" confirmed

"Photo Negotiation," it's not...

Monday, May 26, 2008
PS. Part 1 of Photo Negotiation is not Pam Anderson.

"Photo Negotiation," it's not...

"Ph.D in C" revealed again

http://laineygossip.com/Natalie_Portman_Bencio_Del_Torro_Che_Premiere_Cannes_2008.aspx

My husband as you know has been photo editing for my gimpy arm. I have also lost all internet connection so we're blogging from the blackberry.

As such, he has been scouring photos for me while I write. Suddenly he's all about the smut. What was a man who couldn't give a shit about the gossip has now become a bonafide Brad Angelina stalker. And a Natalie Portman pervert.

So here she is, because he won't leave me alone until I write about her, on the carpet last night for the premiere of Che starring Benicio del Toro and directed by Steven Soderberg. I saw Benicio this morning at the Martinez. He was tall and in good spirits and laughing with his crew but looking rough. Like ROUGH.

Having said that, I'd still totally let him lick my face.

Back to Natalie - as usual she was stunning in red. Sooooo pretty. And had a smile for everyone, especially the no name staffers.

No contact observed whatso ever with Gael Garcia Bernal when he was around although Sean Penn seems awfully sweet on her and some say Jude Law's been itching to nail her forever.

Her boyfriend is in town too though and they generally only hit up the ultra private dinners as opposed to the eurotrash party scene. Word is she'll be at AMFAR tonight. Keep you posted.

Also at AMFAR - Sean Penn is expected and also Petra Nemcova and Madonna is co-hosting. Do you love it???

Final note about Natalie's beauty - an email I received from the husband (the third) this morning requesting a post:

Why don't you write about how hot she is in red? I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice strom right now.....

Yes. Will Ferrell is his hero.

Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 6:45 AM

"Ph.D in C" revealed again

"Late Night Prowling" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Gossip_for_Wednesday_May_14_2008.aspx

Dear Gossips,

4 fllights from hell and stuck in airport limbo for too long. Have just arrived in Nice after 27 hrs of travel, am en route to Cannes and will post as soon as possible before dashing to festival opening gala. Please check back in a bit. Thank Xenu for blackberries!

So sorry for the delay. Thank you, love you, owe you.

UPDATED:

Smut from Cannes! The Festival kicks off tonight, we had several flights from hell but better times are ahead because for the next two weeks, the Riviera is celebrity central! Celebrities and Eurotrash – it’s the best combination!

Will be blogging every day between shoots and interviews and screenings and even on weekends. Please do check back often. Attached – Cannes jury member Natalie Portman looking ridiculously beautiful on the Croisette yesterday and at the Martinez being greeted affectionately by a very good friend. Interestingly enough, Gael Garcia Bernal is here. His movie Blindness – the gala premiere is tonight.

Sean Penn is chairing the jury this year and his no longer estranged wife Robin Wright Penn has a film showing here too.

But first – Jen, John, and Norman and Jessica Simpson single again? Poor thing. She cursed herself with that Glamour interview. More on that later.

Gala starts soon. Am posting as much as I can before we have to leave and throughout the night.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Typos galore. Am wrecked from airport limbo and have decided to replace water with champagne. Please excuse atrocious writing.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

"Late Night Prowling" clue

"Late Night Prowling" clue

http://www.laineygossip.com/Sean_Penn_and_Robin_Wright_Penn_reconcile.aspx

Love a couple that can find each other again. And you can’t say they haven’t tried.

Four months after filing for divorce and experimenting with others, including Sean with supermodel Petra Nemcova just 6 weeks ago, he and Robin are reconciling very publicly. Sean dedicated a song to her during an Eddie Vedder performance the other night. Make up sex is the best.

And I suppose to you don’t marry a man like Sean Penn without expecting the volatile. It’s cool that they’re giving it another stab, non? Refreshing too. Sometimes it seems like these celebrities, they throw in the towel without much fight.

The reason behind the split and reunion? As reported previously, he’s supposedly been unfaithfully (and randomly) for years. Rumour has it she had a torrid affair of her own last year – so hot she thought she was in love. That wore off rather quickly and both were ready to try to again.

The kind of happy ending I can live with.

Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 7:18 AM

"Late Night Prowling" clue

"Photo Negotiation" subject 2 revealed

http://laineygossip.com/Nicole_Kidman_Keith_Urban_baby_bump_at_CMA_2008_arrivals.aspx

She is as obvious as Ebola on a photo opp. Can you imagine? An Oscar winner having to stoop down to Paris Hilton’s level? This is now Nicole Kidman’s reality.

Gran showed up with a noticeably bigger bump at the Country Music Awards the other night holding on to her belly in nearly every.single.photo. I know this because my husband is photo editing while I one finger type and he said in a series of like 500 images from several agencies there are maybe 3 of Granny givin’ it a rest.

What’s more believable: Granny Freeze’s pregnancy or the GMD’s heterosexuality?

You see now why they really were the perfect couple?

On the plus side, Gran’s face is as flawless as ever – the poster geriatric for pregnancy botox. Cosmetic surgeons are rejoicing everywhere.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 at 5:57 AM

"Photo Negotiation" subject 2 revealed

Late Night Prowling

http://laineygossip.com/Blind_Item_20May08.aspx

Recently reunited with his long time lover, this celebrated actor is supposed to be taking his new role seriously … which is why perhaps why he has spent several late nights hitting up the decadent continental club scene, rolling in at no earlier than 3am and staying til sun up. Three times in the last 5 days. And there’s nothing wrong with that…only on 2 of those nights he hasn’t left alone. They are leggy and orange and immediately replaceable. Would certainly go against the recommitment but then again, maybe that’s how the recommitment was arranged.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 at 5:59 AM

Update (04/30/09):
clue 1
clue 2
reveal 1
reveal 2

Late Night Prowling

Photo Negotiation

http://laineygossip.com/Photo_Negotiation.aspx

She says she is free and fabulous, embarking on a new chapter in her life, and recently went in for a little touch-me-up in the chest area. Some changes leave things super saggy and the sagging never stops. Which is why she opens up the scar between her tits once a year – a scar that is visible in person but oddly enough, never in photographs.

What she does, you see, is she barters with the paps. She wheels and deals and offers to give it up for them if they go home and click away her breast scabs. So they shake on it and she does something outrageous to guarantee they sell her pictures with what looks like baby’s skin on her chest, and everybody’s happy.

Protecting oneself against bad pictures is one thing…but what about arranging bad pictures for your enemy? There’s another celebrity who not only works with the paps to pimp out herself, she also works with them to make sure those she detests are not only photographed badly but also touched DOWN to look especially horrid. She’ll either give up exclusive tips or exclusive shots on herself in exchange for a photographic smear job on those she hates. Like doctoring images to reveal unflattering body parts, receding hairlines, pimples, and especially fat.

The paparazzi aren’t the real scum…

Friday, May 16, 2008 at 8:06 AM

Update (3/31/09):
poll
denial 1 (for subject 1): Pamela Anderson
denial 2 (for subject 1): Pamela Anderson
clue? (Star Jones)
subject 2 confirmation (Paris Hilton)
subject 2 revealed
subject 2 detail

Photo Negotiation

"Keeping it Legal," it's not...

Monday, May 12, 2008

PS. Wilmer Valderamma is not Keeping it Legal.

http://www.laineygossip.com/Gossip_for_Monday_May_12_2008.aspx

"Keeping it Legal," it's not...