"Bro Massage," it's not...

It's not Russell and Ridley

from web

Thursday, June 18, 2009
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http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_19jun09.aspx

PPS. Bro Massage is not Brad Pitt and Sean Penn. Also not Keith Urban and Brad Paisley. And not Jude Law and Ewan McGregor.

Friday, June 19, 2009
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"Bro Massage," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_18jun09.aspx

PS. Bro Massage is not Pete Wentz and Joel Madden. Also not Tobey and Leo.

Thursday, July 18, 2009
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"Bro Massage," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_17jun09.aspx

PS. Bro Massage is not the GMD and John Travolta. Or the GMD and Will Smith.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


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Not Brad and George getting bro massaged.


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"Bro Massage," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_16jun09_and_Sacha_Baron_Cohen_and_Isla_Fisher_at_Paris_premiere_of_Bruno.aspx

PPS. Bro Massage is not Ben and Casey Affleck. Or Casey Affleck and Joaquin Phoenix. Also not Sean Penn and Josh Brolin.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009
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"Bro Massage," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_15jun09.aspx

PPS. The GMD and Ben Stiller are not enjoying Bro Massages. Also not Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConaughey.

Monday, June 15, 2009
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Benicio_del_Toro_at_AFI_tribute_to_Michael_Douglas_with_Laura_Bickford.aspx

Last time we saw him – click here – he was decidedly Elvis, the later years. Last night at the AFI tribute to Michael Douglas, MUCH much better. Benicio must be shooting soon.

The lady he’s with is called Laura Bickford. He’s been with her often on carpets lately. Apparently she’s a producer. Assuming she’s enjoying the rewards of being in his company…in public and private? Benicio, um, supposedly can be very, VERY generous equatorially south.

And Shia too?

The lovely Yolanda sent me the link to a site I’d never heard of before. Tales from a Groupie. WARNING: it’s not for the prudish. I repeat: NOT FOR THE PRUDISH.

Also not sure how legit the stories are (starf-ckers send in details of their experiences) and of course it reads like soft core fiction but if you ever wondered what it would like to spend a night with LaBeouf, this might satisfy your curiosity. Click here if you dare.

By the way, Aubrey Drake, Rihanna’s rumoured new boyfriend, a Canadian, also has his very own entry. Or entries. Enjoy…but don’t say I didn’t warn you. Once you start, the smutty takes over and you can’t stop.

Friday, June 12, 2009 at 7:00 AM
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"No More Favours" revealed yet again

http://www.laineygossip.com/Patrick_Dempsey_in_France_for_LeMans_June_2009.aspx

Gorgeous.

He's in France for the LeMans 24 hour race enjoying his Grey's hiatus and the benefits of his paycheque...from the show and movies like Made of Honour.

Patrick may be the perennial silver medallist in the Sexiest Man sweepstakes but having achieved a rare teen to bleak to adult success comeback in Hollywood, he - unlike so many of his female tv contemporaries - appears to have tamed the itch to overreach.

Earning at least a hundred thousand per episode on a top rated show, the occasional million from a cheesy chick flick here and there, and a great future in movies of the week, Patrick has his farm, his cars, a great lifestyle with his family, and he's happily not hungry for more. What's there to scowl about? Well, yeah, the sacrifices were unsavoury but he's lucky...they paid off.

Some people aren't so fortunate.

Friday, June 12, 2009 at 9:05 AM
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Megan_Fox_wants_Megatron_to_take_out_Middle_America.aspx

Something is up with me today. I should call my mother.

This is Megan Fox on the Transformers promotional train in Korea. Really like her dress. That’s a first.

But how much plastic surgery has this girl had? Was she born with that face? Doubtful.

Anyway, say what you will about the Poor Man’s Jolie, but at the very least, she doesn’t give the same generic answers over and over again.

Nope.

Megan Fox, most of the time, talks out of her ass.

Am curious though what you think of her most recent quotes that are causing some controversy. When asked how she’d convince Megatron not to destroy the earth, Megan answered:

(I’d make a deal with him) and instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?"

Thoughts? Check the poll.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 at 12:09 PM
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"Bro Massage," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_12jun09.aspx

PS. Bro Massage is not about Matt and Ben. Too obvious. But not far off in a way.

Friday, June 12, 2009
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Bro Massage

http://www.laineygossip.com/Bro_Massage_blind_item.aspx

They’ve been friends a long time. Recently worked together. Both family men now supposedly settled down. But not quite.

Several times a week, very late at night, they’d call up for room service together. Oh no, not for food, but for a certain kind of massage. Like…together. They’d get off on it together. Literally. Apparently they’ve been doing this for years. It’s how they bond. Some dudes like beer. These dudes like the hand and mouth special. Lately it hasn’t happened often enough – schedules, kids, etc.

Needless to say, when the opportunity presented itself, they made up for lost time.

Problem: one of the wives found out. Is now threatening to tell the other. Almost like blackmail. She wants them to stop hanging out AND she wants the friend to find her husband a replacement gig to make up for the one he’ll lose if she makes him pull out of their next collaboration. Hollywood wives can wheel and deal, see?

But she’s been placated before. He’s waiting for the rage to go down, and then he’ll buy her off again. A break from the bro massage until then.

Thursday, June 11, 2009 at 6:53 AM

Update (7/28/09):
denial 1: Matt Damon & Ben Affleck
denial 2: Tom Cruise (GMD) & Ben Stiller, Lance Armstrong & Matthew McConaughey

denial 3: Ben Affleck & Casey Affleck, Casey Affleck & Joaquin Phoenix, Sean Penn & Josh Brolin

denial 4: Brad Pitt & George Clooney
denial 5: Tom Cruise (GMD) & John Travolta, Tom Cruise & Will Smith

denial 6: Pete Wentz & Joel Madden, Tobey Maguire & Leonardo DiCaprio

denial 7: Brad Pitt & Sean Penn, Keith Urban & Brad Paisley, Jude Law & Ewan McGregor
denial 8: Ridley Scott & Russell Crowe

denial 9: Hugh Jackman & Liev Schreiber
denial 10: Judd Apatow & Adam Sandler
clue 1
denial 11: Adam Sandler & Rob Schneider; Will Ferrell
denial 12: Keenan Ivory Wayans, Damon Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans (Wayans brothers)

denial 13: Vince Vaugh & Jon Favreau
clue 2
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"Twitter: Divorcing Actress" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Kate_Beckinsale_and_Len_Wiseman_all_smiles_after_marriage_crisis_and_Elsa_Pataky_overdresses_in_Cann.aspx

Marriage repair

A couple months ago they were on life support. Kate Beckinsale had taken off for London without warning husband Len Wiseman, stayed there a month, found daughter Lily a new school, leaving Len supposedly baffled about what prompted her decision.

Her rep vehemently denied there was anything wrong between the two. But according to my sources they were indeed apart for several weeks and that Kate had also consulted a divorce lawyer and was prepared to move forward…

Some time mid April she returned to LA and after a series of long discussions apparently agreed to give it another go. Paps were quickly called, happy photos were taken, not unlike the happy photos taken this long weekend of the two in Malibu, out and about with Lily and also at that celebrity-heavy party yesterday.

What was the reason for their troubles? Rumour has it she’s been extremely dissatisfied with her stalled career. She’d planned to be much further along at this point. Instead Kate Beckinsale is lost in the pack. Kate turns 36 this summer. Other actresses in the same age range:

Winslet, Blanchett, Weisz, Paltrow, Diaz, Cruz, Theron, Jolie, Connelly….

I mean, really. She’s lucky if she makes Page 2, right?

Therefore the frustration. So they say she took it out on her marriage. And her wardrobe. Because that totally explains the overdressing, non?

Speaking of overdressing…

Did you see Elsa f-cking Pataky at the Inglourious Basterds premiere in Cannes last week?

NO IDEA what she was doing there. Or anywhere.

But that gown. The train on that gown going up the steps, we counted, Laura and I, we counted that it spanned FIVE STEPS.

Sit DOWN Elsa Pataky.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009 at 7:29 AM
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Chace_Crawford_confirmed_for_Footloose_as_poor_mans_LipGloss_Zac_Efron.aspx

It’s one thing for Megan Fox to be called the Poor Man’s Angelina Jolie. I mean at least the subject is Angelina Jolie.

But imitating, and failing, at imitating LipGloss?

Dude, is that a good move?

Zac Efron dropped out of Footloose claiming he did not want to be type cast as a singing dancing elfin. boychild. It’s now been confirmed that Zac has been replaced by none other than his similarly coiffed doppelganger Chace Crawford.

Is he a worthy update for Kevin Bacon?

Please.

Interestingly enough, Chace will have to begin training soon for the shoot. Perhaps he can get some instruction from a former contestant on So You Think You Can Dance. Strictly of the professional kind.

In other Chace news – thanks to ES for the following:

Hey Lainey -

Just wanted to let you know that Chace Crawford was at my graduation at the University of Missouri - Columbia this past Saturday. His sister was, like me, graduating with a bachelor's degree in journalism, and as soon as she walked across the stage and her name was announced there was a lot of cheering from a secluded box above rest of the stadium. Some people looked up, recognized the connection, looked at each other and within a matter of seconds all the girls were giggling and looking (while pretending not to look). Anyway, Chace was there with what looked like his mother and maybe his grandmother? Not sure. He was dressed casually - slacks, white dress shirt, suit coat. He also had a lot of facial hair, so it was hard to recognize him at first from so far away. Afterwards, he went down to the floor of the stadium and mingled with the rest of his group. Not really sure why it was necessary, as his sister wasn't even down there. He seemed very friendly to people who approached him and wanted pictures, although there were surprisingly few people who did so. Guess he's not that big of a deal yet.


Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 7:55 AM
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"Smack no kids" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Christian_Bale_wife_Sibi_Sam_Worthington_Natalie_Mark_Eric_Dane_at_LA_premiere_of_Terminator_Salvati.aspx

Premiere of Terminator Salvation last night: Eric Dane, Christian Bale with wife Sibi, and rising star, also soon to be a member of my Freebie Five – meet Sam Worthington.

They say he’s next.

They say it is his year.

Because after going head to head with Bale in Salvation, Sam will front the highly anticipated Avatar from James Cameron due for a holiday 2009 release. The woman on his arm is Natalie Mark. He’s shown up with her on a few carpets now. Yeah the fringe is a little extra. Just saying.

Salvation of course was directed by McG. Like, he walks around and people call him McG. If you recall, McG and Michael Bay were boyfighting a few months ago over their projects. Bay said McG was copying him, McG told Bay to jump up his ass.

Terminator Salvation hits theatres May 21. Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is due out June 24.

PS. Just realised I wrote absolutely nothing about Eric Dane. Didn’t see any photos with his wife. Wonder why.

Friday, May 15, 2009 at 7:44 AM
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"Late Night Prowling" revealed

http://www.laineygossip.com/Sean_Penn_files_for_separation_from_Robin_Wright_for_the_second_time.aspx

Sean Penn has filed for separation from Robin Wright. Again. They did this over a year ago only to reconcile shortly after.

Many are once again pointing to Sean’s Oscar speech in February – with Robin teary eyed in the front row clutching at him before he pulled away, Sean did not mention her at all, explaining on Oprah afterwards that it was “implicit”.

So what did it imply?

Obviously that Sean Penn wants to be single.

He really wanted to be single last year at Cannes. He was the head of the jury and late at night, like 3 or 4am, he’d have two euro floozies hanging off of him like cheese dick styles.

And now he can do it without the guilt… if he felt guilt to begin with.

You know, Madonna is single again too.

On a smutty level, come on admit it, on a smutty level it would make our lives. Only problem is that Sean probably still loves sex. Madonna on the other hand is becoming increasingly asexual. She can only get off these days to Kab.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at 8:14 AM
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"Non smoking reshoot," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Hugh_Jackman_in_London_outside_radio_station_signing_autographs_promoting_Wolverine.aspx

Don’t complain.

How can you complain?

It’s Hugh Jackman! And he is everywhere.

Yesterday Madrid. Today London. Promoting Wolverine, of course. And side parting his boy band hair and wearing the hell out of those skinny jeans and all of a sudden Hugh is taking style tips from … Zac Efron?

At least on Hugh it doesn’t look androgynous.

By the way, have I mentioned that he’s not the smoker?

Thursday, April 16, 2009 at 8:15 AM
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"Non smoking reshoot," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_15apr09.aspx

PS. Christian Bale is not the smoker.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
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"Non smoking reshoot," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/intro_14apr09.aspx

PS. Clive Owen wasn’t worried about being caught smoking.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009
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"Non smoking reshoot," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Jennifer_Garner_and_Ben_Affleck_celebrate_Easter_with_Violet_before_Ben_leaves_to_shoot_The_Company_.aspx

Violet celebrated Easter yesterday with her parents then Ben kissed Taupe before jetting off to Massachusetts where he was filming today a new movie called The Company Men.

The Company Men costarring Kevin Costner and Tommy Lee Jones and Rosemarie DeWitt (who should NOT have been ignored in Rachel Getting Married!) tells the story of some dude who gets laid off and the new reality facing his family as a result of a company downsize.

Sh-t. Sounds uplifting. But if America prefers Shrek driving a fast car and teenage skanks, even with John Wells directing, what are the chances this will light up the box office?

As for the Afflecks, needless to say, the Afflecks are fine, despite reports coming up every few weeks or so (resulting in your emails) that they’re headed for split. They have not ever been headed for split. And will not be for the foreseeable future. Two years from now? Anybody’s guess. But the point is – Ben and Jen are fine. And he wasn’t caught smoking by the paps either.

Monday, April 13, 2009 at 1:17 PM
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