"Ph.D in C" revealed again


My husband as you know has been photo editing for my gimpy arm. I have also lost all internet connection so we're blogging from the blackberry.

As such, he has been scouring photos for me while I write. Suddenly he's all about the smut. What was a man who couldn't give a shit about the gossip has now become a bonafide Brad Angelina stalker. And a Natalie Portman pervert.

So here she is, because he won't leave me alone until I write about her, on the carpet last night for the premiere of Che starring Benicio del Toro and directed by Steven Soderberg. I saw Benicio this morning at the Martinez. He was tall and in good spirits and laughing with his crew but looking rough. Like ROUGH.

Having said that, I'd still totally let him lick my face.

Back to Natalie - as usual she was stunning in red. Sooooo pretty. And had a smile for everyone, especially the no name staffers.

No contact observed whatso ever with Gael Garcia Bernal when he was around although Sean Penn seems awfully sweet on her and some say Jude Law's been itching to nail her forever.

Her boyfriend is in town too though and they generally only hit up the ultra private dinners as opposed to the eurotrash party scene. Word is she'll be at AMFAR tonight. Keep you posted.

Also at AMFAR - Sean Penn is expected and also Petra Nemcova and Madonna is co-hosting. Do you love it???

Final note about Natalie's beauty - an email I received from the husband (the third) this morning requesting a post:

Why don't you write about how hot she is in red? I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice strom right now.....

Yes. Will Ferrell is his hero.

Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 6:45 AM

"Late Night Prowling" clue


Dear Gossips,

4 fllights from hell and stuck in airport limbo for too long. Have just arrived in Nice after 27 hrs of travel, am en route to Cannes and will post as soon as possible before dashing to festival opening gala. Please check back in a bit. Thank Xenu for blackberries!

So sorry for the delay. Thank you, love you, owe you.


Smut from Cannes! The Festival kicks off tonight, we had several flights from hell but better times are ahead because for the next two weeks, the Riviera is celebrity central! Celebrities and Eurotrash – it’s the best combination!

Will be blogging every day between shoots and interviews and screenings and even on weekends. Please do check back often. Attached – Cannes jury member Natalie Portman looking ridiculously beautiful on the Croisette yesterday and at the Martinez being greeted affectionately by a very good friend. Interestingly enough, Gael Garcia Bernal is here. His movie Blindness – the gala premiere is tonight.

Sean Penn is chairing the jury this year and his no longer estranged wife Robin Wright Penn has a film showing here too.

But first – Jen, John, and Norman and Jessica Simpson single again? Poor thing. She cursed herself with that Glamour interview. More on that later.

Gala starts soon. Am posting as much as I can before we have to leave and throughout the night.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Typos galore. Am wrecked from airport limbo and have decided to replace water with champagne. Please excuse atrocious writing.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Love a couple that can find each other again. And you can’t say they haven’t tried.

Four months after filing for divorce and experimenting with others, including Sean with supermodel Petra Nemcova just 6 weeks ago, he and Robin are reconciling very publicly. Sean dedicated a song to her during an Eddie Vedder performance the other night. Make up sex is the best.

And I suppose to you don’t marry a man like Sean Penn without expecting the volatile. It’s cool that they’re giving it another stab, non? Refreshing too. Sometimes it seems like these celebrities, they throw in the towel without much fight.

The reason behind the split and reunion? As reported previously, he’s supposedly been unfaithfully (and randomly) for years. Rumour has it she had a torrid affair of her own last year – so hot she thought she was in love. That wore off rather quickly and both were ready to try to again.

The kind of happy ending I can live with.

Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 7:18 AM

She is as obvious as Ebola on a photo opp. Can you imagine? An Oscar winner having to stoop down to Paris Hilton’s level? This is now Nicole Kidman’s reality.

Gran showed up with a noticeably bigger bump at the Country Music Awards the other night holding on to her belly in nearly every.single.photo. I know this because my husband is photo editing while I one finger type and he said in a series of like 500 images from several agencies there are maybe 3 of Granny givin’ it a rest.

What’s more believable: Granny Freeze’s pregnancy or the GMD’s heterosexuality?

You see now why they really were the perfect couple?

On the plus side, Gran’s face is as flawless as ever – the poster geriatric for pregnancy botox. Cosmetic surgeons are rejoicing everywhere.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 at 5:57 AM

Recently reunited with his long time lover, this celebrated actor is supposed to be taking his new role seriously … which is why perhaps why he has spent several late nights hitting up the decadent continental club scene, rolling in at no earlier than 3am and staying til sun up. Three times in the last 5 days. And there’s nothing wrong with that…only on 2 of those nights he hasn’t left alone. They are leggy and orange and immediately replaceable. Would certainly go against the recommitment but then again, maybe that’s how the recommitment was arranged.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 at 5:59 AM

Update (04/30/09):
clue 1
clue 2

reveal 1
reveal 2