"How He Holds Her" reveal #5


Is this a man?


His name is Brian Austin Green. You know him better as David Silver. He spent most of the 90s making out with Tori Spelling…remember him?

Oh yeah…him.

Brian Austin Green is engaged to Megan Fox, a man in his 30s desperately hanging on to his young break out girl who is trying to cope with outgrowing him. So, like a whiny little bitch, Brian opted not to attend the Golden Globes the other night with his prize.

As she told the emaciated Giuliana Rancic on the red carpet that night:

"Brian doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to be my date. He's a man. He has an ego. I think he's probably working on music. I don't think he cares."

Oh honey…

Is that what he told you? Is that how he holds you? Is that how he controls you?

Through guilt?

Because you spent the entire time feeling it, didn’t you? Feeling badly that he didn’t come, feeling upset because he was upset, unable to enjoy your first Golden Globes.

It’s textbook manipulation.

And for a girl who claims to have such progressive views on female imagery in Hollywood, on women and sex, it’s also really pathetic. Because in explaining his absence by justifying his “manhood” she has actually upheld the most traditional, most man-centric perspectives: that a man is less of a man if he’s not the primary focus. That a man should always be #1. That a man should never accept NOT being #1.

Way to go Megan. How very enlightened of you.

Brian Austin Green attended the Fox TV Winter Party last night in LA. Megan was told to stay home and keep the bed warm.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 7:30 AM

How He Holds Her


As mentioned during the Globes wrap-up, Cameron Diaz looked decidedly uncomfortable sitting next to her bestie Drew Barrymore the other night. Can’t say I blame her. Drew was so cranked up and blown out, any friend would worry.

OK Magazine is now reporting that at an afterparty at the Sunset Tower the two barely spoke to each other and stayed on opposite ends of the room. The article is totally believable…until, like most tabloids, they overreached and topped off the story with one final detail to send it into the realm of bullsh-t.

According to OK! Leonardo DiCaprio is now taking sides and he’s standing firmly on Drew’s because supposedly when Cam came towards him at the even, he turned on his heel and practically ran away from her.

Um. No.

Cam and Leo are tight. They’ve been tight since Gangs of New York. They’re tighter than they let on. And I’m told she is constantly trying to set his BFF Lukas Haas up with a revolving door of ladies she thinks he should marry.

For reals.

OK! is claiming that the disconnect between Cam and Drew is resulting from Cam spending too much time with her boyfriend Paul Sculfor and Drew is calling her out for not being a constant friend.


F-ck. You really think they’d do their research, non?

Because it’s the same. It’s the same as it’s always been.

Cam was like that with Justin. Drew was like that with… all of them. This is how these two girlfriends make it work. All the time. It’s not the first time.

So does that discredit the entire OK! article? Probably not. There was indeed tension between the two, and there continues to be, as Drew’s schedule and the pressure of producing and directing and managing a million things at once are taking their toll.

But then again, according to Lily Allen, anything in moderation, is totally fine.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 6:52 AM

All Ages & Jonesing


Much as I wish I had access to his schedule, I’ve no idea what George Clooney is doing in Washington. The inauguration is still a week away. Perhaps more lobbying? Whatever the reason, he arrived there today all smiles, looking fit and vibrant and full of charisma as usual and as enjoyable as the Globes were on Sunday, there would have been an added element of A list had he been there, non?

George however has said he has a policy. He doesn’t go unless he’s nominated, or unless he’s the incumbent ready to pass on the crown.

He spent the holidays in Cabo with Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber and there was no word of his usual paid shenanigans, of the entertainment variety, but there are those who are convinced that the reason Cindy ever tolerated Rande’s alleged philandering is because she negotiated a pass with his BFF. There’s never been any slamdunk evidence to support this but while those sorts of arrangements would shock the suburbs, in Hollywood it’s par for the course.


In fact, it’s the only way one long standing celebrity marriage is able to survive even though she would have you believe that it’s a commitment to therapy and communication. A cheat for a cheat. It works for them. For reference and association purposes, we’ll call this one Cabo.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009 at 4:59 PM


Sit DOWN Debra Messing. Better yet – go away.

Am so over her.

And that hair. That hair had desperation all over and inside of it. That hair had her agent and her publicist lurking around it. Her entire talent team randomly popping out of it, begging someone, anyone, especially Jeff Zucker for a return to network television. Only no one cares anymore. And she can’t seem to accept it.

Did you see her husband?

Wasn’t looking very hard but I didn’t see her husband. In fact, her husband has been missing a lot lately. It’s not easy taking a back seat to being thin.

Monday, January 12, 2009 at 6:48 AM

Body or Baby?