Many of you love him. Indeed, there was a time when I did too. And I think my best friend Erin probably covets him as well but, being a great mother and wife, her infatuations are really quite harmless compared to the sadistic fantastical exploits running through my mind. Don't let her tell you different.
There is certainly a hint of dark sexual deviation about him. And his unabashed lack of inhibition would suggest a tendency to experiment with all kindsa crazy that would make most of us blush. One day not too long ago, he came home from work. Dinner was ready. His partner came to greet him and was pleasantly surprised that he wasn't alone. Two luscious females and a strapping young dude were standing at the door. A party of 5, if you will. (and no. it's not Matthew Fox or the other dude who played Bailey). Extra take out was quickly ordered. They all sat round the table to feast and before you know it, the wine took effect and the clothes started coming off and the food was passed around, only it was being passed around from mouth to mouth, and then from breast to mouth, and before long, we had a full on orgy on our hands. How do I know??? Well, the housekeeper found them in varying states of excess and undress the following morning.
Now…because of the salacious nature of this one, and due to the fact that I've got a crazy work week coming up, I'm sorry I can't answer all of your guesses directly. So I'm going to pull a Ted Casablanca and tell you who it isn't and hope that you can take it from there. And yes, there will be another clue coming later this week.
Don't bother with Colin Farrell or Owen Wilson or Bobby Brown or P Diddy or Jay Z.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
More legendary tales
For those who missed last column, you'll need this for part 1.
Back to the orgiastic actor and his equally experimental partner. A couple of months after the aforementioned dinner party, he found himself in the company of a just divorced colleague who was looking to spice up her own life. Naturally, the legend invited her back to his place and as you would expect, when they arrived home, dinner was ready, the table was set, and his beautiful other half was ready to play. For some reason though, the girls ended up concentrating on each other only, leaving him to his own devices…and the digital recorder. Everything was captured on tape and, like the dog he is, he shared it with the buddies one night after a long evening of drinking.
Like I said before, I can't take guesses on this one. So you'll have to figure it out for yourself. But first, eliminate the following:
Lenny Kravitz
Bruce Willis
Charlie Sheen
Richard Gere
Keanu Reeves
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Update (02/11/10):
Denials: Matthew Fox, Scott Wolf, Colin Farrell, Owen Wilson, Bobby Brown, P Diddy, Jay-Z, Lenny Kravitz, Bruce Willis, Charlie Sheen, Richard Gere, Keanu Reeves, Jude Law, Rob Lowe, LL Cool J, Antonio Banderas
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