Giving bad advice

On the outside, all her glossy beauty seems completely natural. And you wouldn’t think she’d need so much enhancement at her age but hey, the girl started early. Regular visits every 2 months, she understands the importance of jumping on problems before they become problems. Now that’s been going on for years. The weight control however is a rather recent development.

Don’t get me wrong. Her body is pretty tight. But she wants to shave it down to anorexic proportions and the extra 10 just won’t come off. So her partner suggested the magic happy diet formula. It’s white, it’s fine, it gives you confidence, and takes away your appetite. Brilliant, non? The problem is that the pounds weren’t dropping quite as quickly as she wanted them to be. And so she upped her take. Which has resulted in a rather voracious and seemingly incessant appetite for the sh*t. To the point where her man has started weaning her off…with disastrous consequences. They are now quietly seeking professional help and he is absolutely despondent over the fact that he led her into this mess in the first place.

One guess. And given the sheer volume of emails I’ve been getting, may I suggest pooling your guesses into one message? Otherwise, it might take days for me to answer. Good luck!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Giving Bad Advice - Part 2

I know I don’t have to tell you this but withdrawal symptoms can be a bitch. Our girl showed up at a photo shoot recently, under the careful supervision of the husband, and proceeded to binge her way through several orders of burgers and shakes. Naturally, she felt guilty afterwards so she disappeared into the bathroom for an eternity. When she emerged, she had wrecked her makeup, which meant it had to be reapplied. Which meant a huge delay. Which meant that everyone had to stand around waiting for her. And the longer the day went, the more she craved her fix, and the crankier she became. So when a nice young lady brought her a cup of coffee, she picked it up and threw it across the room, splashing it all over an 8,000 designer gown on loan to the magazine. Needless to say, she had to pay for it out of her own pocket and worse yet, she has to kiss some serious ass now to ensure that the photos stay in the publication.

One more guess. And it’s not Kate Hudson or Jessica Simpson.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Update (12/19/09):

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