He’s super hot. He’s moderately successful. He’s probably not gay – although one can never be sure in Hollywood. He’s also always working. So why is it that he can’t find a woman? Maybe it’s because his mediocre skills in the boudoir are complemented by some tightwad tendencies that his good looks simply can’t make up for.
On the first few dates, everything is fine. But then he begins to squirm if the unlucky lady orders something a little too extravagant on the menu. An expensive bottle of wine on birthdays is out of the question and don’t even bother calling him on his cell before the free minutes kick in. Totally understandable behaviour for a starving actor but definitely NOT acceptable for a dude who is a definite headliner, even if his movies do suck sh*t.
So a few weeks ago, he takes out a new girl. They have a good time, they go out again, she’s really charmed, she sleeps with him, and she stays overnight. Next morning – they oversleep, he has a meeting and can’t drive her home. So she calls a cab but she has no cash. He spots her $100, they say goodbye, and agree to see each other later. When they hook up next time, he actually asks her TO PAY HIM BACK!
AND – to top it all off – his feet smell!!!
Okay gossips, take it easy before you email me. I’m under strict orders for no additional clues on this one. Which means I can only say yes or no. One guess. Good luck.
Being cheap is STILL unforgiveable
So he won’t splurge on dinner, he’s tight with cabfare, and his feet smell. Think it can’t get any worse? Apparently my man also has the maturity of a 10 year old. And so do all his friends. His last relationship with potential ended because of one too many days like this:
She’s been out of town for a couple of weeks. He’s been hanging with the boys the whole time. She gets home, they make plans to stay in for a quiet dinner, catch up, make some love. All good things, right? Two hours later, the night is half over and she’s still waiting. Turns out he’s been playing video games and lost track of time. So she calls, he answers, apologies sincerely and promises to be over right away. Only as soon as the words out of his mouth, she can hear his buddies jeer and complain and taunt. Very high school, I know. The only problem is – he’s like a decade and a half outta his senior year and he still changed his mind right away. “Sorry, I can’t leave the guys babe. We’ll do it tomorrow night.” Needless to say, you know how it ended.
In a town like Hollywood, where every 2 bit skank is jonesin’ to hook up with a screen idol, this guy is still single. So can you imagine what a feeble little f&ck he really must be???
One more chance to guess. Good luck.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Update (2/6/10):
reveal 1
reveal 1
Tuesday, October 04, 2005