Needing Supervision

Marriage doesn't necesssarily negate the gay. Not that that's news to you, right? But what happens when you can no longer rely on it to cover the glitter? Well in his case, the best move is to make sure everyone *thinks* you're out for tail. Female tail. A bevy of friends' friends, assistants, orchestrated dinners or outings just to be seen, and subsequent stories that show up here and there, just to keep up the illusion.

But behind closed doors, it's men men men all the time. And there's nothing wrong with it. Nothing at all. But I hear he recently veered dangerously on the young side - not knowing, of course. Although it ended up being legal - age wise - the encounter was costly and his management is now trying to keep his sexual exploits to a safe minimum. Right now, it looks like he's behaving himself. Wonder how long that will last…

And it's NOT Eddie Murphy.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Needing Supervision... and a Beard

Remember him? From a riddle I posted on May 1st? About a closeted star getting a little too bold about his boyfriends, long before so many other blind items from other gossip outlets?

Well it appears the gay is out of the bag. And it only took this long because for many, many years he kept his true homo hidden and disguised under marriage from a now deceased relative who would not have accepted it. Now that the loved one is no longer with us, he's free to be single and on the prowl. The problem is his management doesn't want him prowling publicly. They were already alarmed before and now that so many columns have been alluding to his sequins and feathers, they are desperate to find him his very own Katie, an engineered romance to take the heat off the gay talk.

But - shocker of shockers! - he is actually thinking about living in the light, much to the consternation of his handlers who predict a huge drop in earning potential should he expose his hidden sequins. And that's the part that I find absurd. Because trust me, he's hardly a heartthrob. In fact, past roles would indicate quite the opposite.

Still… the agents are the experts and for some reason, they think he'd do better as a Straight. Which explains the backstage battle. And the best part is - we get to find out who wins soon enough. Because I hear he'll either come out flaming by the end of the year or have a high profile non-gay romance just in time to begin marketing for his next major release - a family (read conservative) comedy that is expected to make a killing at the box office.

And can I just mention - once again - that I had this on May 1st??? Sorry…just wanted to drive the point home for the benefit of the disbelievers out there. It's a called a date stamp, y'all. And it's not Hugh Jackman. Or John Travolta.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Update (7/18/08):
Denial 1: Eddie Murphy

Denial 2: John Travolta & Nick Lachey

Denial 3: Hugh Jackman & John Travolta

Denial 4: Matthew McConaughey & Matthew Broderick

More about Mike Meyers
The Unfunny Douche

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